It never took me very long to understand things. I’m usually really quick to understand dances, singing, even school subjects. The one thing I don’t get is how you like someone. My whole life, it’s never happened to me. I wonder what it feels like. Do you know right away or does it take time? I wonder why type of person I like.

Hyunseung was scribbling in his journal. The last bell of the day rung and he stood up, ready to escape English class. He ran his hand through his fringe and pushed it away from his eyes before gathering his text book and shoving it into his backpack before joining the stream of people heading for the door. Once outside, he navigated out of the building and into the lounge area. He spied his group of friends and took a seat at their table and immediately put his head down. One was shoving his face was pasta.

“I’m guessing English was the same old boring stuff?” he asked in between bites. Hyunseung looked up and stared at him with dead eyes.

“Of course, Kikwang. English will never be exciting. Ever. The only person who actually knows English is Dongwoon.” He grumbled and went back to his earlier position. There was a slap on his back and he sat up.

“You have a few more weeks of the semester. It’ll be over soon.” One of his other friends smiled at him. He had a red beanie on.

“I’m counting every day.” Hyunseung sighed and slouched against the back of the chair. “What are we waiting for, Doojoon Hyung? I don’t want to be at school any longer than I have to.”

“This guy just had to go get food.” Another boy nudged Kikwang who was nearly finished with his food.

“Yoseob, let him finish.” Doojoon scolded. “And Hyunseung, do you ever eat? You look skinny.” He noted, turning Hyunseung’s face to the side. “Your cheek bones are sticking out.” Hyunseung only sighed in response and spied someone familiar in his line of sight.

“Dongwoon, what took you so long!” he watched as the taller boy rushed up to the table and dropped a stack of books on the table. He leaned over Hyunseung to get to Kikwang’s fork, swiping his last bite of food. Kikwang didn’t even flinch. It was a pretty normal occurance.

“I met my lab partner as I was coming here. He said that I knew who this belonged to.” He dropped a red leather bound notebook from the top of his stack. Hyunseung stood up so fast his chair toppled over. Most of the people in the lounge turned to stare at him. He winced. It wasn’t like him to cause a ruckus and have people’s attention on him. Dongwoon picked up the chair and sat on it.

“So, I’m assuming that belongs to Seung then?” Doojoon picked up the little booklet and was about to open it, but Hyunseung snatched it away.

“You didn’t look inside it did you?” he turned to Dongwoon who was stretching his arms. He looked at Hyunseung like he was spouting nonsense.

“I didn’t have time. My hands were full. I wouldn’t have anyway, you weirdo.” Dongwoon proceeded to slouch and pout.

“You should be grateful someone decided to give it back to you.” Yoseob spoke up. “Some people would have just taken it.” Doojoon eyed him and elbowed his arm.

“Are you ready to go, Woonie?” Hyunseung gave him a stare that made Dongwoon jump up and grab his stuff in a rush.

“After you, your majesty.” He was being sarcastic, but Hyunseung didn’t catch on. He just smiled smugly and strutted out the door.

“Good luck with that one.” Kikwang called after Dongwoon as he followed soon after. The two boys had been neighbors for a really long time and they now shared an apartment closer to the school campus.

“Hyung! Why did you leave so quickly?” Dongwoon dropped his pile of books on the ground and headed for the couch. Hyunseung shrugged.

“I was tired.” He said simply. “You know I hate my English class.” Rolling his eyes, he shuffled into the kitchen and brought out leftovers from the night before. That was their routine: Hyunseung would take the food out and Dongwoon would make it. Dongwoon refused to make anything the older boy made, anyway.

“I’m always here to help.” He said cheerfully. “I don’t mind at all.” He grabbed for the TV remote and turned it on, flipping aimlessly through the channels.

“I know. You only tell me every day.” Hyunseung murmur as he made his way to his room and flung his backpack inside. His room looked like a disaster area. He sat down on the corner of the couch and pulled his knees up to his chest. “Can I ask you something?”

“So you’re finally accepting my help?” Hyunseung rolled his eyes.

“No, not that. It’s about something else.” He paused, examining Dongwoon’s face. It looked cautious. “What’s with your face?”

“Nothing… this is just weird for you. Hyung never asks me for anything. Ever. Even when you don’t have money for lunch, you’ll just sit there and starve or just fall asleep.” The younger boy shrugged. “So, what was it?” Hyunseung tilted his head a little. He was trying to figure out the best way to word his question, but it would still come out the same.

“Do you know what liking someone feels like?” Hyunseung was leaning forward, anticipating Dongwoon’s answer. On the other side of the couch, Dongwoon was fighting the smile that was threatening to break through his poker face.

“That’s what you want to know about? That’s all?”

“What do you mean that’s all? I’m being serious.” Hyunseung still looked clueless as ever. “I don’t think I have ever liked anyone in my life.”

“But all those girls…” Dongwoon trailed off. “You never went out with any of them? You never went on a date before?” Hyunseung leaned even further forward like he was hard of hearing.

“What? What girls? I don’t remember any girls. And I haven’t been on a date before. What are you talking about?” Dongwoon slapped his hand to his forehead.

“You never noticed, did you? Typical.” Dongwoon chuckled. His Hyung was definitely not a socially aware person. “Liking someone feels like your heart is full to the point of bursting. It can feel terrible at times.” He watched the expression on Hyunseung’s face grow more and more confused. “When I see the person I like, my mind goes blank sometimes.”

“Why would anyone want to feel like that? That sounds horrible. My heart bursting? That means I would be dead.” Hyunseung muttered to himself as he fled the couch and went into his room. He stumbled a little over his mess, but he found his backpack and took out his journal. He wanted to add more to his earlier entry, but when he turned to what should have been the right page, it was ripped out. He flipped through the notebook some more and he found more missing pages. Running out of his room, Hyunseung went to Dongwoon, who had started working on heating up the food, and shook the journal in front of his face.

“Is there a problem?” Dongwoon raised a brow as he pressed start on the microwave.

“Of course there is! My journal is missing pages! What did you do?”

“Yah, Jang Hyunseung! I told you I didn’t even look at that book. Why is it so important anyway? It’s just a journal.” The older boy bit his lip to keep himself from saying something he would regret later.

“Sorry. It’s just that the only pages that are missing are the ones that I wrote in English class.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “This is so frustrating. Why would someone do this to my journal?” the boy stalked off before the other had a chance to answer. He locked himself in his room for the rest of the night, trying to remember or think of some reason why some stranger would want to mess with him, why would someone want to defile one of his most precious possessions. He barely got any sleep and it showed the next day when he was unusually slow to get going.

“Are you alright, Hyung?” Dongwoon put a hand on Hyunseung’s forehead, brushing away his fringe. The concern on his face was more apparent to Hyunseung than it should have been.

“I’m fine.” He pulled the younger’s hand off and walked past him, down the first flight of stairs, but his feet were moving faster than his mind could coordinate them and he nearly tumbled down the rest of the stairs. Dongwoon caught the back of his shirt in time.

“Where are you off to in a hurry? You hate school. And I’m the one who falls down the stairs, not you.”

“Sorry.” Hyunseung kicked the ground aimlessly. “I don’t know why I’m like this.”

“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything.” Dongwoon chuckled and the two walked to the university campus.

Hyunseung slept through almost all of his first class and most of the second class. Nothing excited him, not even the cute girl next to him trying to strike up a conversation. He was too tired to even glance at her. The stare of his journal was apparently more important than attention from the opposite . The next class he shared with Yoseob. It was a little less painful because Yoseob was so much more social than he was. He took up more of the attention. Yoseob was outgoing and confident in everything he did, even if he was making a fool out of himself. Hyunseung secretly envied him, but he would never let the other know. It was too embarrassing. Lunch consisted of Doojoon reading up for his next class while Hyunseung used his own backpack as a pillow and stared at him the whole time.

“You’re sleepier than usual.” Doojoon commented as he turned a page in his textbook. “Everything alright?” his eyes narrowed as he watched Hyunseung struggle to keep himself awake. “I know you don’t really talk to anyone except Dongwoon and even that is minimal, but if you want to, I’ll listen.” He flashed a smile and patted his dongsaeng’s head.

Hyunseung’s next class was with Kikwang, who was quite diligent in his school work. The only type of conversation Kikwang could hold with Hyunseung was about dancing. If it was any other topic, Hyunseung would lose interest and begin spacing out. Most of the time, it wasn’t intentional. This time, however, he was spacing out on purpose. Kikwang was trying to discuss Biology and Hyunseung ended up nodding off and even using Kikwang’s shoulder as a pillow. The younger boy just smiled and wrote down notes for the both of them during the class.

It was finally time for English class and Hyunseung was finally awake. He went to his seat on the far side of the room and noticed a piece of paper. He looked it over and began grinding his teeth.

It never took me very long to understand things. I’m usually really quick to understand dances, singing, even school subjects. The one thing I don’t get is how you like someone. My whole life, it’s never happened to me. I wonder what it feels like. Do you know right away or does it take time? I wonder why type of person I like.

This was the entry he had written yesterday. At the bottom of the page, there was a neat little line:

I hope you figure out who you like. I’m rooting for you!

The boy frantically scanned the room, but half the class was already present and more were filing in. It was impossible to see who had left the piece of paper from his journal, but he was even more determined to find out.