Hi!! Yay for another update. :) words that are italicized came from the letter Luhan wrote from the previous chapter. Enjoy! 

You probably don't want me to start this letter with an apology but I want to tell you I'm sorry...

"I'm sorry, Sehun." Krystal said almost everyday for the past three days of my stay here in the hospital. After she told me she would not give up on me, she has been constantly visiting me. She would take care of me until the morning, volunteers to stay here and made sure I am not going to hurt. But will I really get over from the hurt?

I did not ask this from her, in fact I'm not really sure how to move when she's around. I know what she is trying to do. Krystal is trying to win me back. To win my heart back and make up for the days she left me miserable.

And what bothers me is I try to understand her. The first few months after she broke up with me, I did tell myself to take her back in a heartbeat. This is me trying to sort out my feelings. As much as possible, I want this to work.

But will it ever work?

I'm sorry that you are holding your feelings back for Krystal because of me.

"Did you really mean it when you said that that you don't want me to come back?" Krystal asked. Her eyes focused on me but I didn't look at her. I stared outside the window, searching for answers in my mind and I try to look for it inside my heart, hoping to find the right one to tell her. I know in my heart I meant it but my mind keeps on repeating the memories that I had with her over the 4 years of being in a relationship with her which tells me otherwise.

Am I really just holding everything back because I know there is someone waiting for me? There is someone I left behind and now here is someone that I once lost now found. This will never be an easy one. I knew I was certain with my feelings but then Krystal just had to come back and everything came crashing on me.

"No. I didn't mean it." I told her and relief was written in her face but I knew deep inside bull washed over me. I still couldn't look at her.

You did everything because of me and I am afraid you won't be able to do much for yourself because of me.

Krystal came closer to me and hugged me. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders but I was stiff under her hold. I don't want to open up because I could still feel that familiar hold on me and I knew it wasn't hers that I wanted to feel.