Baekhyun looks at his coffee cup as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world. Actually it’s simply because he can’t look directly in the eye of the guy in front of him. Funny, because Do Kyungsoo is a tiny guy like him that shouldn’t be afraid of.

“Too bad, he’s asleep already. I want to show the song to him.” Baekhyun said while keep his head down.

“You’re recording the new one?”

“Yeah, it's just a demo. He asked me to show it to me yesterday.”

“Oh…I see.” Kyungsoo sounds bitter, or maybe not. Baekhyun feels the atmosphere is too stuffy and he hates it.

“Look, Kyungsoo…It feels weird.” He chuckled.

“What weird?”

“Me and you. Sitting here. Talking about him.”

“You mean talking about someone who’s dying there.” Kyungsoo said casually as he sipped into his coffee.

“I mean someone who broke our hearts.” Baekhyun can notices Kyungsoo's expression changed at his words,

“Did he?”

“Don’t you feel it?”

“I don’t know Baekhyun. I mean it’s true, Chanyeol broke my heart, but I keep crushing it again and again at him. It’s kinda foolish.” Kyungsoo letting out a hopeless laugh.

“I don’t know what I feel, Kyungsoo. To be honest it’s still hard for me to look at your eyes.” Baekhyun scoffed.

“Why?”

“I feel guilty. Because I took Chanyeol from you.”.

“No you’re not…you tried to. But you’re not completely succeeded. We broke up, but he’s still not going with you.” Kyungsoo chuckled.

“Yeah, you’re right. That’s why I’m angry at him. I just can't understand him.”

“Me too. He said that he loves me. As much as he loves you. That’s why he left me, but he can’t be with you. He’s a complicated jerk.”

“I don’t think Chanyeol loves any of us, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun said with a bitter smile in his face.

“Why do you think like that?”

“I don’t think Chanyeol even ever loves anyone. He’s just collecting loves from people around him, because he needs it. Because he’s fragile, lonely…and dying. But I don’t think he loves anyone. I don’t think he know how to.”

“Really? Then it’s mean we’re ruined.” Kyungsoo said with a vague expression. Baekhyun takes a deep breath before deciding to tell the things he never told to anyone, to Kyungsoo. 

“You know, when I first met him. It was a snowy day at 4 in the morning. He was in front of the school dorm yard, piling snows. I thought what kind of crazy and childish guy, playing snow at that hour in that kind of cold weather. I walked towards him. Asking him what he’s doing.”

Kyungsoo listened at him while holding at his coffee cup. Baekhyun smiles remembering that moments.

“He said he’s building a snowman.”

Baekhyun chuckled. He remembers he also chuckled like that when Chanyeol answer that question that time.

“He was crying, Kyungsoo. Like a lost child. I asked him why did he cry and why he’s building a snowman. He said, he needs to bid his friend goodbye. He said his friend died when he’s not around, and he didn’t get to say goodbye. It’s that poodle.”

“Jack Frost.” Kyungsoo cut his words. Kyungsoo knows Jack Frost so well, the dog is his present for Chanyeol's birthday. And Kyungsoo wasn't there when Jack Frost died. He was at Japan, attending a journalist seminar.

“Yeah, he said that little guy named Jack Frost. It was so weird, Kyungsoo. I knew that time he’s just a silly delusional guy who’s overreacted at a dead puppy. But when I saw his eyes b with tears, it’s just feels so weird.” Baekhyun eyes wonders.

“And that time, I end up helping him building the snow man. Even watched him talking and crying in front of it. Before he finally said goodbye to the melted snowman.”

Kyungsoo saw Baekhyun smiles. That kind of smiles. Somehow Kyungsoo can read it. He knows what's that smiles mean.

“You love him.” Kyungsoo said.

“And I want to keep love him. Yeah, I know…I’m doomed.”

So do I, Kyungsoo thought.

“What about you, Kyungsoo? How was the first time you met him?”

Kyungsoo didn’t answer. He just smiles.

I don’t remember how the first time I met him was. I don’t remember what kind of day, rainy or sunny or cloudy. I don’t remember what time is it, or where is it. Because at the first time I met him, I can only see him. I can only see Chanyeol. Chanyeol’s eyes, Chanyeol’s face, Chanyeol’s smile. I only remember that. I only remember him.