Yixing rubbed his younger brother’s back while shooting comforting words. That’s the view that greets Kyungsoo the moment he walks in at Chanyeol’s room. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen the moment he saw Chanyeol pale face. Chanyeol had his head down while weakly leaning at Yixing’s shoulder. Not long for that moment Chanyeol throws up at the bucket on his lap, while Yixing calmly comforting him.

“Oh…Kyungie, you’re here…” Yixing greets casually.

“Is he okay?” Kyungsoo asked worriedly.

“It’s just nausea. He gets it after every therapy. Hey, Kyung…can you hold him for a sec? I think I need to call Dr.Kim…”

“Hyung…don’t leave…” Chanyeol tugged at Yixing T-shirt, not wanting him to leave.

“Yeol-ah…I’m gonna back soon, okay... Dr. Kim needs to examine you.”

“Just go, hyung. I’ll take care of him.” Kyungsoo walks towards the bed side.

“I’ll be back.” Yixing walk out of the room, while Kyungsoo held Chanyeol weak arms.

“You still feel like throwing up?” He aksed noticing Chanyeol still look too pale. It must be so painful.

“I’m sorry…I know it’s disgusting…I..just…” Chanyeol can't finished his word before he throws up again. He coughed a few times and Kyungsoo rubbing his back gently.

“Ssshh….Chanyeol it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry…”

“I’m here, Chanyeol…It’s okay. Beside, it’s not the first time I saw you vomit.” Kyungsoo said.

“What are you talking about?”

“Did you forget freshman year at the college summer party? The first time you had scotch? You practically ruin my favorite T-shirt.” Kyungsoo scoffed, earning a weak beaming smile from the other man.

“You still feeling nausea?”

“I feel better. Just…dizzy.”

“Wanna lay down?” Chanyeol nodded.

“I’ll get you water.”

“Just stay here, Soo…” Chanyeol grip at Kyungsoo's sleeves.

“Chanyeol-ah…”

“I’m sorry…I know it’s weird, but can you just hold me?” Chanyeol suddenly move aside, making there's a space for Kyungsoo to climb to the bed.

“Okay.” Kyungsoo doesn't know why he agreed, but he climbed to the bed anyway. Holding Chanyeol gently, letting the weak figure leaning on his chest while carressing his head. A moment later, Yixing come with the doctor. Both of the look stunned at the view. Kyungsoo gives Yixing 'please, understand' look. So Dr. Kim just take a quick check at Chanyeol, before finally leave with Yixing outside.

“What song is this?” Kyungsoo asked, when Chanyeol asked him to play a song on his mp3.

“Baekhyun’s song.”

“Must be a good love song.” 

“Not really. I mean, it’s a oood song, but it’s not a love song. It’s a heartbreak song.” Chanyeol said while still keep his head leaning on Kyungsoo.

“Really? Is it written for you? What was the lyric?”

“Hmm…Baekhyun kinda wish me hell. Since I broke his heart.”

“Wow…touching.” Kyungsoo scoffed.

“You kinda wish me hell too, right?”

“Just sleep, Chanyeol…” Kyungsoo cut the words while keep caressing Chanyeol's hair, hoping to lulled him to sleep.

“Hey, Kyungsoo…will you still hate me even after I die?” Chanyeol asked with an innocent tone, just like a chiled.

“You’re talking non-sense, Chanyeol. Just sleep.” But Chanyeol doesn't stop.

“I know I’m extremely selfish. But can you keep remembering me? I know forever is a long time, but can you at least remember me once in a while? When you go to the place we were go, or listening to the song that we knew. Can you at least give a few second to remember me?” Kyungsoo doesn't get it why Chanyeol asked that kind of question. And somehow, being clueless makes him angry.

“Chanyeol…stop…”

“Please, promise me…” Chanyeol keeps asking.

“Chanyeol you’re a heartless jerk!” Kyungsoo shouts. He can't take it anymore. Slowly he removed Chanyeol from his held and get out of the bed. He notices the dejecting expression on Chanyeol's face.

“I know. I am.” Chanyeol said weakly.

“Did you ask the same thing to Baekhyun?”  Chanyeol paused a moment, before finally nodded.

“Do you know how much it hurts for us? You can't just go around asking people to keep remember you, while the only thing that they remember you did to them is broke their heart. It’s just crazy.” Kyungsoo blurted. Ignoring the tears that flow from his eyes.

“You know I think I can keep doing this. But this…is just too much. Baekhyun was right, you’re just collecting love from the others, but you don't really love them. And you are so lucky because it was so easy to love you. But I bet, you don’t even remember any detail of them in your heart, right? You have no space for love. You’re incapable of loving.” 

And I fall too hard, and too deep.

Maybe those words is just to harsh, but...Kyungsoo can't help it. He walk out of the room. Leaving Chanyeol alone. It takes two minutes before finally Chanyeol let out a grin, his trembling hands wiping his own tears. And he laughs a little.

Yixing watched Kyungsoo walk out from afar. When he enters the room he just saw his brother sitting against the headboard, still with a smile on that pale face. It doesn’t take long, before Chanyeol can’t keep it anymore. Tears bursting out as Yixing held him close in his embrace. Yixing just can sigh, hearing the mumbled crying sound of his little brother.

“They left hyung. They’re finally leaving me. I did it. I make them hates me.”

“Yoel-ah…”

“I love them…I love them both. And it hurts so badly. You know, people said when you love someone and that person is hurting, you’ll also feel hurt. It was right. I love them, and they’re both hurting. And now I feel twice hurt.” Chanyeol sobs harder. Yixing feels like crying too, but he won't.

“I’m sorry Chanyeol. I’m sorry….”

Yixing know people always think that his little brother is so lucky, because it’s so easy to love him. But Yixing know better. He knows that it’s indeed easy for Chanyeol to got love…as easy as to got hurt.

For weeks Kyungsoo didn’t come to visit Chanyeol. Baekhyun still come, twice, before finally not coming at all. Actually it doesn’t really matter, because lately Chanyeol rarely know if someone’s coming or not. Because he spend most of days sleeping. There’s more wire attached to his body and also oxygen to help him breath. Yixing spend most of days sitting beside his brother’s bed, since he takes a break from the radio program. Sometimes Yixing think he did a poor job taking care of Chanyeol. When the Korean single father adopted him from China when he was 6, he never thought he will get a bubbly younger brother. Chanyeol was just 2 at that time. Yixing remember the small hands holding his excitedly the first time they met. He remember the beaming smile, shimmering eyes and chubby cheeks of 2 years old Chanyeol. It feels like yesterday. It feels like yesterday too, the moment his adopted father telling him to take care of Chanyeol no matter how troublesome that younger boy is. Yixing remember the smile of that kind man when he said he’s proud of Yixing, the day he passed away 4 years ago.

Yixing’s train of thought stopped when he hears someone slides the door open. He turns around and find Kyungsoo standing there. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen seeing Chanyeol’s state. Neither him or Yixing saying anything. Kyungsoo walk closer towards the bed. Unconsciously, Yixing stands up, giving his chair beside the bed to Kyungsoo. He saw Kyungsoo pull out something from his hoodie pocket. It’s an mp3 player, slowly Kungsoo puts the earplug on Chanyeol’s ears. He press the play button. Yixing saw Kyungsoo smiles.

“You can hear it, right? Yeah…Baekhyun finished the song.”

“It’s nice isn’t it? Too bad he can’t sing it live to you since he’s promoting on China now. But he wants you hear that. Now I get it why you like him, he’s cute, have a nice voice, though I don’t know why sometimes he’s still sing lip-sync on stage.” Kyungsoo said jokingly.

“The thing is…you’re indeed cruel, Chanyeol-ah. You are. But…it’s not what you wanted, right? It’s just happen that way. You’re mean for asking me lot things, but it’s also my own fault for giving it all to you freely. Just…I guess…we’re just a bunch of hopeless people. But its okay…love is just like this.”

“And I love you Chanyeol. I love you.”

He kissed Chanyeol’s hand, before leans to kiss Chanyeol’s forehead and closed eyes.

Chanyeol died on Saturday. A month later. Kyungsoo refuse to go the funeral. It was a rainy morning, and Kyungsoo just sit beside his apartment window. His ex boyfriend passed away. But he didn’t feel like going to the funeral. He doesn’t cry, or freaked out. Actually he doesn’t know how he feels. He just keeps repeating on his mind. Park Chanyeol is gone. Park Chanyeol is no longer here.

That was until he hears bell from his apartment door. When Kyungsoo open the door, he found no one. But there’s an envelope…and neat hand writing.

• I know you wouldn’t come. It’s okay. But this is yours. I think you need to have it. Take care Kyungie. ~ Yixing.

The envelope contains pictures. A lot of pictures of him and Chanyeol. The days when they’re still together. From the freshman days at college until they both graduated. Kyungsoo smiles seeing them, until he finds a piece of paper with Chanyeol’s hand writing.

The day I first met Kyungsoo. I remember it clearly. It was spring 2008. I remember it was at the bus stop near the dorm. I remember it was raining at 2 PM. I remember he bumped at me till I fall and get soaked. I remember his silly yellow umbrella. I remember how he’s freaked out after I fell and he help me to get up. I remember how I felt so angry at him. I remember his grey hoodie. His blue navy back pack. I remember every detail of that moment. But more than that…I remember him. I remember Kyungsoo. His eyes, his smile, his voice. I remember him. And I think I won’t be able to forget.”

Kyungsoo laugh after he finished reading. He laughed but tears keep coming from his eyes. It’s funny. Suddenly he feels so silly. Park Chanyeol…you’re a genius.

When Kyungsoo arrived at the cemetery, he saw a guy in a blue coat standing in front of Chanyeol’s grave. Baekhyun put a bucket of flower when Kyungsoo stands beside her. They’re exchanging look and smile each other.

“Daffodil?”

“Yeah…I think Chanyeol will like it. It’s the sign of winter’s end. Say goodbye to the snow. To Jack Frost.”

“You sound like a girl. Now I get it how you get inspiration for your cheesy love songs.”

“Hey! People love cheesy. Don’t insult my music, Do Kyungsoo. I know you bought my CD too.”

They just laughed. And for some moment keep silent and standing, figuring what kind of feeling and realization they got right now.

“I guess we were wrong, right Baekhyun?”

“On what?”

“On having thought that he never love us. We thought he’s just cruel and heartless.”

“I still think he’s cruel, honestly. But I guess, you’re right…He love us. No matter how hard it is to believe.”

“Yeah…Chanyeol really loves us. We know it now.”

Ps: Why did I write this? I don't know. All I know is that I'm having writer's block. Like I don't know how to write or to continue my stories. Anyway...It's my first Exo fics, and I just find it weird that I write it so suddenly. Just hope it's not to silly and cheesy. Forgive me if it is... :p