Love Year

Song: Dead at Heart by Super Junior       
                                                                                                                                                                
For: JessFallzFor15 

In the dorm on the twelfth floor of the Sharp Star City Apartments, Tower C, Lee Donghae was perched on the sofa with a bottle of soju in his hand letting it dangle from his fingertips as his arm rested upon bent knee.

He lifted the bottle and took a swig just as the apartment door opened and the other members of Super Junior that lived there spilled in talking loudly and laughing.

The noise died off completely when the inhabitants took a good look at their fellow Idol.

Donghae smirked and lifted the bottle in salute before taking another swig, his glassy eyes rimed in red.

“Yah what the hell are you doing Lee Donghae?” Heechul yelled storming over to yank the near empty bottle away from the man.

Donghae giggled and laid his head back onto the sofa armrest.

Heechul was at a loss as to what to do for the first time in his life. He had never seen one man become such a mess, and he had no clue as to how to fix it.
He glanced over to the leader and the dimpled man immediately took charge of the situation.

Leeteuk walked over and grabbed the younger man under his arms and hauled him up with a grunt.
“Let’s go Donghae, sleep in the room yeah?”

The other man just drunkenly stumbled along with the leader into their room. Only when he was tucked in and a waste basket placed beside the bed did Leeteuk venture out into the living area to see how much damage Donghae had done.

Shindong and Sungmin were picking up the scattered remains of four empty soju bottles and many crushed beer cans from the floor around the sofa.

“Sungmin-ah why don’t you go on down to your room and we’ll get this straightened up.” The leader said patting the agyeo king on the back.

Sungmin just shook his head.
“Hyeong, what are we going to do? He can’t keep this up or he will get kicked out of Super Junior.”

Leeteuk sighed. “I don’t know if there is anything we can do Sungmin.”

 Months earlier Donghae had been the happiest man on the face of the earth. He was living out his dream and had the love of a wonderful girl that he would do anything for. But that had all come crashing down when she suddenly broke up with him.  
 

That day the rain was pouring down almost like a sign of troubles to come.

He had called her all day and never got through, the worry for her built up until he wasn’t even able to participate in the interview they had scheduled for later that day. He ran out into the darkening day to hail a taxi and drive to her apartment building…
 

Donghae ran up the stone path to the Hyundai Prime Apartments where Yeon Hae lived. He nearly passed her, so intent was he to get to her apartment.

She was sitting out in the pouring rain upon one of the stone benches around her complex, just staring at the ground. She didn’t even notice the rain soaking her to the bone.
 

“Yeon Hae!” Donghae rushed over to her headless of the rain and took a knee in front of her. He began searching her body with his eyes to make sure she was unharmed.
 

Yeonhae slowly came out of her daze to find her boyfriend staring at her with a wild, frantic look upon his face.
 

“Donghae what are you doing here?” Then she noticed he was soaking wet. She looked up at the sky and stood up dragging him with her inside.
 

“What are you doing? You are an Idol what if you caught a cold?” She scolded him while dragging him by the arm into her apartment and throwing a towel  at him.
 

Donghae took the towel and patted his arms dry. “Me, you were just  sitting there in a daze.  Did something happen?”
 

He thought he saw sadness pass over her eyes but she shook her head quickly. “Ani, nothing really, just like the rain is all.” She smiled but he could tell something was off. He decided not to dwell on it and moved to help dry her off when she pushed his hands away.
 

Donghae looked at her darkening features and asked “Wae?”
 

“Donghae, we have been together for a while now.” She began as he nodded his head.
 

“I think this relationship isn’t headed anywhere.”

It was a blunt statement that nearly knocked his breath away.
 

“What do you mean?” He asked in a near whisper.
 

“I think we should break up.”
 

It was those words that put Lee Donghaes’ life on pause. Nearly a year later and he was still waiting on her call to ask him to come back. When it didn’t come he had fallen into bad habits that even Heechul nagged him about.

All of his group members tried talking with him, but he couldn’t get over it, no matter what they said.

Every time he thought he was going to be okay, the memories of when they would walk hand in hand under the warm spring sunshine, or them having a picnic near Cheongyecheon far back, away from the crowds, would overwhelm him.

Every time he would break down and cry remembering the happiness they shared together. It was slowly killing him inside to the point where he didn’t even care about Super Junior anymore. All of this was weighing on his mind, on his soul, so he drank to chase away the pain.

 ...

The next day, with the worst hangover he ever had, Donghae was in the stylist’s chair waiting for Cordi Nuna to finish with Kyuhyun, while nursing a steaming cup of black coffee that Ryeowook had brought him.

He had just taken a sip when Heechul smacked him on the shoulder. Donghae choked on the steaming liquid while his Hyeong chuckled at the spectacle.

“Shouldn’t have stayed up all night drinking huh?” Heechul ribbed him as he slid into the chair to the left of his.
 

“Yeah Hyeong” Donghae said robotically.
 

Heechul glared at him and held out his hand. Donghae looked at him askew.

“Is there something…”
 

“Give me your hand phone.” Heechul said motioning with his hand.
 

Donghae handed it to him hesitantly. “Waeyo Hyeong?”

Heechul didn’t answer he just scrolled through Donghae’s phone until he spotted her number. Heechul grinned and Donghae got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Heechul stood up and tossed the younger man’s phone back at him leaving Donghae to fumble around in an attempt to grab the darn thing before it hit the floor.

Heechul quickly punched the number into his own phone and hit send. He walked from the room and down the hall so no one would overhear his conversation.

“Yeobeosayo?” A tired feminine voice answered after five rings.
 

“Yah, Your boyfriend is killing himself.” Heechul said in an annoyed tone.
 

“Neh? Who is this?” The voice answered clearly shaken.

“Kim Heechul, Big space-star Kim Heechul.” He said pointedly.

He heard the breathing on the other end of the line hitch.

“So you know, my dongsaeng-ie is ruining himself, has been since the night you dumped him. This is your doing so you are going to have to fix it.” He snapped the phone off and dropped it into his pocket with a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

If she was anything like he remembered, she wouldn’t stay away.

Donghae watched as his group mates systematically took care of the preparations for the night’s performance. There was no joking or loud ruckus like there had been in the past, only mature men readying themselves for a night of entertainment. Eunhyuk was on the phone with his girlfriend, speaking in low tones so no one would overhear, and Yesung was reviewing his song notes in a chair near the far wall. Even Shindong and Kyuhyun were more serious than usual.

His group members, his friends, were growing up, maturing right before his eyes and here he was still stuck in the past. Like a coward.

He hated himself for it, really he did, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. He would give anything to get back those care free days of innocent fun and laughter, but they had all gone with her.

He felt numb on the inside. He seriously couldn’t understand why they had broken up. Maybe it would have been easier to accept had he known just what had gone wrong, but she never picked up his calls so he was left in the darkness.

He remembered how they would talk about their future, discussing how many children they would have and what type of dog they wanted. But it was all ashes now, there was nothing left of it anymore. She didn’t want him, and he was slowly killing himself from the grief.

...

Two days later Donghae awoke to Heechul sitting at his bedside with his elbows resting on his knees and the most serious face he had ever seen on the 4-D Cinderella.

“Yah Donghae” he started in a low serious tone, “There is someone here to see you.”

Donghae made a move to get up but the other man put a hand on his chest stopping him. Donghae just paused holding himself up on his forearms.

“Hyeong”
 

Heechul shook his head. “You need to be calm and don’t… don’t be alarmed when you, when you see her, araseo?”
 

Donghae had no idea what was going on but he nodded anyway and Heechul stood up and waited for him to get dressed before leading him out into the living area.
 

Donghaes’ breath died in his chest as he looked up and saw… her.

Yeon Hae stood up slowly and turned to him.
 

She was so… shrunken, her face was a pasty white in comparison to what she used to look like that he nearly didn’t recognize her. Her eyes were bruised dark and she looked like she lacked the energy to even stand, with her hands clutched around a bag that a thin clear tube ran out of and into her side.
 

“Yeon Hae…” Donghae’s voice was barely a whisper as a tear slid down his one-time loves pale cheek.
 

“Donghae-ssi, it’s been a while.” She said in a cracking voice that bespoke of her pain.

Leeteuk couldn’t take it anymore and helped her to sit before leaving the room in tears, Ryeowook and Sungmin following close behind. Donghae looked at Heechul who couldn’t even meet his eyes as he motioned him forward before backing into the other room as well.
 

Now they were alone. After nearly a year of no contact Donghae felt completely out of sorts as he sat down beside her.

She smiled at him tiredly. “I hear you have been having a hard time.” She said finally.
 

“Was this… was this why you wanted to break up with me?” Donghae asked after clearing his voice.
 

She heard the pain anyway and she reached over to take his hand. He could only think of how it felt like paper, he was scared he’d break her.

“I couldn’t let you see me go through this Donghae. You are a performer, it’s your dream to be on stage and I couldn’t let my problems become more than that. You need to go on living.”
 

Donghae choked on the tears that swelled up suddenly. “And you, are you going to live?”
 

Yeon Hae smiled sadly “It’s a possibility, but they aren’t too hopeful at this point. My dialysis has failed many times over the year and I am barely able to get around anymore because of the pain.”
 

Donghae had to let go of her hand before he broke her bones. Instead he clasped them together in a white knuckled grip fighting back the sobs that were building up in his throat.

“I love you Yeon Hae, I would have gone through this with you. You didn’t have to be alone.”
 

He could barely speak and she smiled sadly once more. “No Donghae, you couldn’t have gone through this with me. I have always supported your dreams and Super Junior is like your family, you couldn’t have given them up, and you would have had to if you had stayed with me. I’ve been in the US for most of the year getting treatments at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York. My family has been with me every step of the way.”
 

Donghae looked over at her through the tears streaming down his face.

Yeon Hae shook her head. “I had only been in Korea for two days when I got Heechul Oppa’s call.”
 

“You have been there this whole time?” He asked in disbelief.
 

Yeon Hae nodded. “I have accepted the fact that I may not live to see tomorrow, but I wanted to see you one last time Donghae, because you were my true love.”
 

Donghae slid over to her and wrapped her gently in his embrace.

She was so frail but he held her tightly.

“I will always love you Yeon Hae, even in the next life.”
 

“Even then” she said with a smile “I will love you too, Oppa.”

Okay I don’t know if that went the way you had hoped but the words just poured from me like a fount after I listened to this song. I hope you like it, if not just let me know and I will write you another.