“Children”, I scoffed, rolling my eyes at the five males in front of me that were already in their twenties but acting like a couple of five year olds.  This is what I get for breing a producer of variety shows that aired Idols, but naturally this is what the fans wanted. Although I had to say, looking over at Mir, that he is really adorable even if he’s the loudest and most childlike of them all, but that was excused since he was the youngest anyway. The others on the other hand had no excuse. Then again Seungho and G.O weren’t that bad, Seungho was like the father figure and G.O was rather quieter than the rest. Thunder was just as cute so the only one that probably irritated me was Joon then.

I sighed. It was such a pity too, I mean he was 24 and had impeccable good looks, but his childish ways was a complete put off. I chewed in anticipation on the end of my pen for the director to say we were finally done for today’s filming. I couldn’t wait to get out of their messy dorm we were filming in.

“Okay guys were done for the day!” Finally, I thought swirling my chair around, jumping up and out of it only to land into Joon who was chugging away at a bottle of water.  

“Sorry”, I mumbled shifting past him and pushing up my glasses that were sliding down my nose.

He turned around, noticing me and flashed me a brilliant smile. “It’s fine Noona”

My polite smile faded into a stone cold glare. Nice to know I looked older than him. I walked away leaving him with an utterly confused expression on his face. I stood in the hallway completely lost in thought as I got my coat and handbag. I guess I didn’t have to be so y, but something about him pissed me off and I didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was because he’s so good looking? I shifted my eyes back to where he was standing talking with Seungho laughing and shaking his head in a wild attempt to get away from something Seungho was trying to do. Even when he was acting like an idiot he seemed to look good. I figured that is what had gotten me so irritated by the sight of him. My logic was that attractive men were mature men and it would never be different. Joon was a different story though and by him not fitting into my logic I got ticked off.

I weaved out of my inner thoughts and walked briskly out of the door and into the cold. It didn’t matter anyway. It’s not like I would’ve made a go for him. Firstly he was as an idol which would be the first mistake I make and secondly we were currently working together and if there was one rule I solely lived by it was that my work and social life were two completely different worlds. And that required two completely different people I became when I distinguished the two from each other.

I sometimes felt like I had a split personality, but at work I was the shy, nerdy girl with glasses dressed in the usual jeans and t shirt whereas at night when I go “Socialize” I’m the fun, outgoing girl striking with confidence in flashy dresses and heels. My true self was somewhere between the two, but it’s been years since I have been able to actually become her. It was sad really and I hated doing it, but I’ve always felt it was necessary because of my work. Maybe I was overly strict with my “professional” image I wanted to keep. Even though I was the one behind the cameras, there is still media swarming everywhere because of the idols in front of the cameras. And I’ve seen my fair share of producers and other staff who got fired over their lousy or “Non Professional” image while working with Idols. That is exactly what I tried to avoid which is why I avoid most contact with the idols and why I look and am a completely different person when I tend to run into them because of my minor clubbing habit.

I didn’t want my behaviour while going out to affect my work at all. There have been multiple times when I would run into idols I knew or have worked with while out with either colleagues or friends and either way one of the parties would get a bad reputation that ends up on the media and follows you around like dark stain on your life.

So I felt pretty content with myself as I sipped my drink at the bar, recognizing numerous idols and colleagues that would never recognize me.  A particular heart-warming giggle made me turn around in my seat with a huge smile plastered on my face. I had been waiting at the bar for my university friends for a well-deserved girl’s night out. Warm embraces and greetings were exchanged and we made our way to our favourite club. I closed my eyes and savoured the sensations of everything around me as I walked in. The familiar adrenaline rush as you walk in, the pulsating lights that seem to blind you at first, the thundering music that vibrates through your chest and the crowd of sweaty bodies grinding with the beat of the music. A bubble of laughter escaped my lips as I joined my friends on the dance floor. I feel like I could finally let go of my weeks’ stuck up- and shyness and just lose myself in the music. After rotating the dance floor with a turn at the bar for a couple of drinks we were back to dancing. After a couple of minutes of dancing I felt warm hands around my waist slide down to my hips as I swayed them side to side. I wasn’t alarmed, this being a usual occurrence in a club and not the first time it has happened to me. I wasn’t exactly in the mood for gropy men as this was purely a girl’s night and not one for prowling for men, still instead of slapping the hands away I looked down at them and noticed particularly beautiful hands. Well now. I liked men with nice hands. I turned around in his hands, facing him with a prepared playful smile on my lips. Looking up at him from underneath my lashes I saw a breathtaking, confident smile, but when I looked up further I saw…Joon? Wait what?! My little taunting smile froze off as the blood drained from my face leaving me pale. I staggered back a couple of steps, much to his pleasure.

“Oh, now don’t be afraid”, he said grinning like a Cheshire cat and stalking towards me. “I know you probably didn’t expect the guy to be this handsome, did you?”  I retreated with every step he took towards me.

A nervous smile broke out as I stammered an excuse. “I…uhm…I need to go to the bathroom…”

“Don’t be like that”, he said grabbing my wrist and stopping me of practically running out of there. “Let’s just pretend you don’t know who I am and enjoy the night, hmm?” This time he roughly pulled me by my wrist causing me stagger back towards him.

... he hasn’t recognized me yet, but what if he does? Even if we hadn’t really interacted with each other before I still didn’t want to run the risk. My mind was completely divided in two. A part of me knew even if he didn’t know who I was I needed to get out of there and away from him, but the other part, the stupid part, actually wanted to not only have his hands on my body again, but maybe just spend the night with him and get to know him. Naturally hormones won over logic and I ended up taking tentative steps towards him.

“Kind of presumptuous of you to assume I know who you are hmm?”, I asked with a biting tone as he tried to pry me closer to him.

His idiot blank expression flashed across his face for a split second making me stifle a giggle that dared to escape. His no brain face really made me laugh when we were at work. “Oh so you don’t…”, he asked trying to regain his composure. I rolled my eyes at him indicating that I obviously knew and his sly smile quickly returned as he pulled me to him by my wrist, so close I could feel his breath on my face and the glowing heat emanating from his body. He suddenly whirled me around so we could dance in our previous position with his hands still resting on my hips.  At first I couldn’t actually enjoy any of the dancing as my mind was still in panic mode, racing with thoughts of what could happen, but as the night went on I relaxed and had an amazing time dancing with him.  Out of breath we went to the bar for a round of drinks. “You’re good”, I told him when we were seated. “But of course you are a dance major so-“

“Na – ah You don’t know me remember?”, he said smiling down at me. Wow the dim lights of the bar really did good for his already good looks. I had just seen him earlier the day but I couldn’t remember him being this hot. His chocolate brown hair was damp with sweat along the hairline and his fringe fell into his eyes.

“Okay”, I said my previous playful smile returning to my lips. “No names, no work questions etc.”

Joon grinned in agreement and ordered another round of drinks for us. We had discussed the most random things, talking about favourite things and interesting stories. We clicked well and I thoroughly enjoyed talking to him. I had waited the whole time for his inner child to come out but it never did. I knew he was childlike even off camera so it wasn’t just an act for the media. Which just left that he was sort of like me, changing his personality according to his surroundings. That or he was just acting manly to get in my pants… or under my dress in this case. All in all though he was very mannerly and gentleman like, not trying anything like he had earlier, in spite of his flirting, which I can’t deny I enjoyed. Walking back to our stools after I had excused myself to go to the bathroom, I noticed he was staring down at his drink, a deep frown furrowing in his forehead.

“What’s wrong?”, I asked, sitting down.

He looked up and I could clearly see worry in his eyes. He gave me a nervous smile before explaining. “Do you mind if we just quickly dart off from our agreement?”

I nodded and he continued. “I’ve kind of been really reckless tonight, opening up to you and telling you whatever, despite of me being… you know…”

I nodded again in understanding.

“So…uhm I just want to ask you to please not go to the reporters or media or something…”, he continued awkwardly. “Not that I’m saying you’re the type of person that would do that or anything… it’s just you know my image…”

I gave him an encouraging smile, noting how cute he seemed when he stammered. He was more like his usual self. “I understand completely and darting off from our agreement myself I’ll tell you that my line of work requires working with idols constantly, so this is nothing new to me and even though I’m practically a stranger and you don’t have to believe me I just want to say you can trust me.”

His frown evaporated along with his nervous smile and was replaced by a warm one. Even if he did seem relieved by this I was worried for his sake. He was much too naïve to believe what anyone told him, not everyone would keep their mouth shut after hearing the numerous stories he had shared with me. Drunken laughs derived my attention away from Joon’s dashing smile and to my three friends who were making their way over to me and Joon. They all drew in sharp breaths, eyes widening as they came close enough to actually see the guy sitting next to me. I stood up quickly clamping their mouths shut. “He’s not who you think he is!”, I sternly said to them.

“Ooohhh”, they cried in unison, laughing hysterically. I laughed at them shaking my head.

“I should get them home”, I said to Joon smiling sheepishly. He was staring at the three of them with an amused expression.

“Need help?”, he asked grabbing my coat and clutch for me since my hands were full with the three who were stumbling around. “Thanks”, I smiled up at him.

He helped me get them all three to a cab, before handing my coat and clutch over to me.

“Well…bye”, I said feeling a tad awkward. “I really enjoyed talking to you and I promise once again I won’t do anything rash.”

His eyes were thoughtful as a small smile played around his lips. He leaned in then, ever so lightly brushing his fingers against my cheek, before I could feel the heat from his mouth near my ear sending an electric shiver down my spine. “Thank you”, he whispered, letting his lips brush my ear and then he pulled back with a last look in my eyes before he turned around and strode back into the club.