Chapter 72
Compelled to LoveMirae’s POV
“Thank you for flying with Air Beijing, we hope you have a nice stay.” I opened my eyes and turned my head towards Luhan who I guessed hadn’t slept at all during the flight. His eyes were gazing out through the window and I could see that he was in deep thought. I reached for his hand as the people around us stood up to get off the plane.
“Are you ready?” I asked, squeezing his hand in comfort. Luhan turned his head to me, reached out his hand and gently caressed my cheek.
“Yes,” he replied tiredly and stood up. I got up as well and together we walked out of the plane and continued down the hallways to get our bag. Luhan’s eyes were constantly trying to find focus while he bit on his lips in a troubled manner. After taking our bag and placing it in front of him, I grabbed his face with both my hands steadily, making him look into my eyes.
“Luhan, breathe... You don’t have anything to worry about. I’m here by your side and you can always change your mind if you don’t want to do this.” I could see his eyes tearing up as he lowered my hands and took a step closer to hug me tightly. I felt his breathing slow down, becoming steadier and more controlled than before, but he still had a tremble on his lips when he bent down to kiss me. Ultimately, I understood that his strength would have to come from within himself, and not from me. I took his hand in mine and we continued down the hallway, out through the arrival doors and out to take a cab. We didn’t speak much during the ride, and truthfully not a lot when we got to their family house – to which Luhan thankfully, by the helps of Mrs Lu, still had access. There was a gloomy feeling in the house, especially coming from Kris and Tao’s former room and our own bedroom. Because even though Sehun had occupied it during the last couple of days, bad memories always came to mind first. Being in China overall triggered and stirred my feelings in a quite damaging way; causing me to wonder if I would ever have to see Kris or Tao again. Where could they have gone after that … I didn’t even know what to call it. “Was it attempted ?” I said aloud.
“Mirae?” I swung around and saw Luhan setting down his bag on the floor, and, with a concerned look in his eyes, walked closer to me. I didn’t say anything until his hand landed on my cheek in a feather-light movement, as if he hesitated, inquisitive if his hand was allowed to touch my cheek in that loving, caring manner.
“I’m all right,” I said soothingly. I took Luhan’s hand but kept it on my cheek as I smiled.
“Did you think about them...?” he asked. I could see the water building up in his eyes and sensed another tremble on his lips. “W-we can stay some place else if you want? I will p-pay for a hotel; you don’t have to stay here. I understand that i-it brings b-back m-memories …” He became quiet for a moment, turning his head away from me and letting his hand fall down to his side. I swallowed hard when I saw the stressed chewing of his lips began and went in for a tight hug. Holding him as close to me as possible, I buried my face in his neck and clung to him protectively.
“Don’t blame yourself. It was not your fault, Luhan. I thought of them for a split second but it has passed now. I’m with you and I’m not afraid. I’ll push away everything about them. Like you said: ‘we’re not going to talk about it, think about it, dream about it: nothing! They are neither in our lives nor in our minds anymore.’ Wasn’t that what you said to me? I’m sorry for making you feel so much guilt now that you’re already stressed out. I promise I’ll make it go away, I’ll make you feel better.” I could feel my voice thicken for every word, feel the tears threaten to fall again, but I was stronger now. I was determined to keep myself from crying, sobbing and wasting my energy on bad happenings and sad events.
“If I ever see them... I will smash their heads against the asphalt and then report them to the police so that they can rot in jail for the rest of their lives,” Luhan bitterly whispered. I let go of him and took his face in my hands, forcing him to look me in the eyes. I shook my head violently from side to side and scowled.
“No, Luhan. We are better than them. We are not going to give them another chance to destroy our lives. If we see them while we’re here or some other day, we are going to walk away with our heads held up high! Same about your father if we ever meet him.” Luhan’s face turned sour at the mentioning of his father, but I would not let that hinder me from saying what he needed to hear. “Don’t you think I overhear you speak when you think you’re all alone? I know you want to apologise to him, mend your relationship with him. And I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try, but not by saying you’ve done him wrong! You have never done anything wrong, Luhan. How many times do I have to say it to you? I haven’t done anything wrong either. Our parents don’t even know half the story so they don’t have any right to judge us.”
“Mirae, I don’t want to apologise to him. But I feel obliged to do so,” Luhan said seriously. “But it’s not for the reason you think...” He took a step back and took the bag and continued passed me into
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