"Goodbye..." Kyungsoo is numb, cold, unmoving because he doesn't know what else to do. What else can he do? How can he not feel the pain and still feel the love? So he cuts it away, keeping his face impassive even as his heart aches; even as her fingers slip away from him and all that he holds onto is the cool autumn's air. She turns away from him, from the shadows, and walks to the river, light on her feet. Just seeing her, watching as she walks away from him hurts, and Kyungsoo can't hold back the sharp intake of breath as tears prick his eyes. A year, he tells himself, a year as his hand curls around the bark of the cedar tree.

She's close to the waters now. She stares at the soft lull of the river, watches how it seemed so inviting all those aeons ago, but now seems nothing more than a prison cell. Because it's true. She has found home, and it's not the sea, she thinks as her hearts starts picking up pace, as she hesitates at the sea; her home isn't the land or the sea, not anymore. It's in the form of a handsome boy with heart shaped lips, who's crying and hurting so bad right now that she can feel it, burning right through her soul. Her home is Kyungsoo, and she can't do this. She can't do this, she can't say goodbye. She can't leave him, not when he's crying and oh the creator it hurts so badly-

"I can't do this, I can't, I can't-" Backing away from the river, Luhan's eyes widens as the mermaid turns from the river and races straight to Kyungsoo, soft sobs wrecking through her body as she collides into him, burying her face into his chest, gasping softly. Kyungsoo's eyes widens as he feels her grab onto his shirt, feels her tug his face down to meet hers and feels how her lips move desperately against his like a forbidden prayer; so he breaks. He breaks because he can't keep strong; he can't act like it's going to be okay because it's not okay, he thinks, tears spilling from his eyes as he rakes his hand through her hair, enveloping her close, as close as he can for the last time.

"I love you." She whispers, touching the side of his fact even as her voice breaks and she trembles, tear tracks marked on her face, "And I can't be without you. I need you, and I can't live without you, and walking away hurts so bad because I love you so much and I can't leave you when you're hurting so much right now-"

"I know." Kyungsoo in a deep breath, "I love you, I love you I love you and I need you to come back." He swallows, eyes filling with tears as he stares at her, "You have to come back because it's you, or no one. And I can't live a day without you, I can't, I need you." His voice cracks and he cradles her face, voice low, "So no matter what, promise me that you'll come back. That if you don't come back in a decade or a century, that it isn't because you're not coming back ever. That if you can't come back it's because, because-"

"Because they don't allow me to." She whispers, her eyes filling with tears as she wraps her arms around his neck, "I love you, I love you, and no matter what happens, if I never ever return to your side because of them," she buries her face into his shoulder, "Know that I'm still searching and I always will be searching for a way to come back to you because Kyungsoo I can't, without you, it's not-"

"And I need you to know this isn't a goodbye." Kyungsoo whispers harshly, hands grabbing onto her shivering trembling ones, "Goodbyes mean forever. I'll see you again. And if you can't come to me," Kyungsoo kisses her forehead, eyes burning with a dark deep intensity as he looks at her, voice rough, "I will find you."

"Kyungsoo-"

"Go." Kyungsoo whispers huskily, kissing her forehead again before growling, his voice becoming more dominating as she trembled, "Go!"

He has to be firm, Kyungsoo thinks numbly, his entire body shaking as his mate turns from him and runs to the river, not looking back. They couldn't leave each other without being harsh because they loved each other too much. She would never leave without him being strong; and if she didn't leave, Kyungsoo knew she never will, because he would never let her. Numbly watching, Kyungsoo's heart sinks as she slips into the water and vanishes. The only signs of her having entered that watery world the ripples on the surface. Up above, the moonlight glimmers down, marking the start of loneliness for the days to come.

A year. Just a year Kyungsoo thinks softly, still staring at the river.

"Aww, umma and appa are so sweet to each other!" The little girl gushes, clapping her hands delightedly.

"I'm going to be exactly like appa next time! Brave and strong!" The boy says, puffing his chest out.

"Well you sure look the part..." Luhan mutters, shaking his head as he laughs at the little ones before continuing the story.

"Kyungsoo, there's no need to patrol-"

"There's a possibility right? Of her coming back in two weeks?" Kyungsoo paces the living room, feet making no sound as he walks across the fur carpet, biting his lip nervously.

"Kyungsoo, I can't, I don't want to get your hopes up-"

"Hyung!" Kyungsoo snaps at Junmyeon, expression pained as he stares at his pack leader. He needs to be out there patrolling for her; he couldn't not look for her. Every sense in his werewolf body screamed for her presence, for her touch. If she was missing, his instinct howled at him to find her; to keep her safe and by his side. The urge to go out there and to look for her was overwhelming and Kyungsoo couldn't fight it any longer. Just three days and his wolf was reduced to a sheer panicky state without her. A year without her? Kyungsoo fights down his wolf's inward snarls and whimpers.

"Kyungsoo, going out there is going to hurt you even more." Minseok murmurs gently, placing a hand on his shoulder, "Even if your wolf tries to find her, you won't ever find her."

"I know, but, but..." Kyungsoo raked his hand through his hair, shrugging off Minseok's hand as he continued pacing. How could he explain to them? Explain that he needed her; he needed to be looking for her. That his wolf was restless in pursuit for his mate, and that waiting, just waiting, would drive him stark mad. He knew how much it would hurt him, hurt his wolf to keep searching and never being able to find her but he needed to be optimistic. He needed to feel as though she would come back. Any day, any time, any moment; he had to be waiting, prepared to embrace and bring back his mate.

"Go." Yixing says quietly after awhile, head tilted to the side as he looks at Kyungsoo wordlessly, his expression devoid of any judgements and doubt. Kyungsoo in a thankful breath and moving forward he hugs Yixing briefly before he heads for the door, moving faster and quicker as his wolf murmured under his skin. The sharp snap of the door signified his leave and Kris turned to Yixing, expression confused.

"You know it's going to hurt him emotionally. His wolf will end up at the river everyday no matter how much he scent tracks her or uses his powers. It's not healthy for him to keep searching and pining, even though we all know he obviously has to. Going would make it worse Yixing." Kris says quietly after awhile, as Luhan looks knowingly at Yixing.

"He's not searching for her." Yixing responds calmly, crossing his arms as a loud howl of defiance raked through the air, coming from only one possible wolf.

"He's waiting."

"Poor poor appa..." Both kids chorus at the same time, looking so sad that Luhan has to laugh.

"And what about poor Luhan ge stuck with the both of you?" This earns him a loud whine from the kids who scowl, before demanding him to get back to the story.

Kyungsoo chuffed, shivering as the trees swayed, the scent of oak and cedar calming. But not calming enough, Kyungsoo thinks nervously, his tail flicking as he paces, pressing his nose to the tree before he walks to the river's side, pacing back and forth. A small whimper escapes him as his wolf contemplated the probability of her never returning. Of her lying to him.

No, he couldn't think that way. He couldn't, he shouldn't. She said she would be back, and that even if she couldn't she would still be searching. He had to trust her. Kyungsoo tells himself optimistically, letting out a puff of air as he resolutely turns to face the cedar tree, refusing to look at the river. But what if she's back now? Kyungsoo's ear twitched. What if she's coming out from the water? Kyungsoo lets out a pathetic whine, shaking his head as he settled down at the base of the tree, clamping a paw over his eyes as the river hummed slightly behind him.

What if right now she's swimming from the sea? What if she's about to appear any time? You can't possibly not embrace her and not expect her can you? His mind questions, nagging thoughts pursuing him. Letting out a defeated sigh, Kyungsoo gets up from the tree, paws passing on the forested  coniferous floor. His ears flatten against his skull as he stares dejectedly into the water, sitting on his hauches, tail dragging flatly on the floor. It's easier as a wolf, Kyungsoo thinks, to be optimistic.

He stares at his reflection, the black fur tinted slightly gold and brown sad eyes. By the creator you look pathetic Kyungsoo he tells himself as he tries to be more optimistic. He perks up, ears twitching and tries to wag his tail in a desperate attempt to be happy. His wolf let's out a disgusted sound and Kyungsoo gives up trying to look excited and happy for her. Whatever, he didn't want to practice his happy face he thinks, wolf ears flicking; let her see how horrible I look he thinks, sniffing. She still loves me anyway he thinks, settling his head on his paws as he stares at the river.

Behind him, Jongin snorts, and Sehun chuckles slightly as they both look at their hyung's slightly desperately love sick form as a wolf. Shaking their heads, they both grin as Luhan and Yixing both drop in, their turn to be on watch-Kyungsoo-to-make-sure-he-doesn't-do-anything-stupid-like-swimming-after-her. Watching their Hyung is fun, but there's no mistaking the worried glint in Luhan's eyes as he glances at Kyungsoo staring at the river.

"You think she's not going to come back." Sehun says quietly as Kyungsoo puts his muzzle into the water, lapping up a drink, "You think that she's not coming; even though tonight is the two week mark."

"No," Luhan bites his lip as he looks at Kyungsoo who paces, ears flicking before settling down again, ear twitching and giving away his restlessness and anxiety, "I think she'll come, she will." Kyungsoo lets out a howl, desperate and sincere that has all four flinching.

"The question, is when." Luhan whispers, and Sehun's face turns impassive and Stoic as he sees Kyungsoo flop down at the river side, a low rumble emanating from him. Tonight, she had to come. She would, wouldn't she? Sehun thinks, biting his lip as Kyungsoo gets up, pacing again.

That night, nothing happens, and the two week mark passes.

"Noooooo!" Both kids shriek, hitting Luhan who howls in an extremely manly way, grabbing both kids as he desperately tries to continue talking even as he is faced with a lot of physical abuse.

“Okay okay! Sheesh do you want to hear the story or not?” Luhan scowls, sniffing as he shakes his head, rubbing his arms pitifully. This has the immediate effect he wanted as both children stop hitting him, sheepish smiles on their faces.

Spoiled brats, Luhan thinks, shaking his head as he opens his mouth to continue the story.

It was Autumn when she left. When she left him in a swirl of colours. Of red and sunlit gold, with edges of bleeding orange and shifting winds. The leaves on the cedar trees withered slowly, not that they minded; it was that time of year of course. And it was in the presence of falling autumn gold leaves that Kyungsoo stood, waiting at the exact spot, come day and night. Even as his brothers chided that he was being foolish, he did not move. Nor did he budge from his position by that river, not even when the two week mark passed. And so Exo settled for the wait of twelve months, to watch the seasons flicker by day by day, and their brother break with each passing one. And so Autumn went.

Autumn ended and Winter took her place. Cold buffets of snow and ice, pouring from the high heavens that chilled Kyungsoo to the bones, right through his thick black coat of fur. The winds swept at him while frost danced across his ears and nose, snow flakes a soft carpet under his paws, much like velvet. The trees were buried in mounds of pale glittering snow, while ice covered the river’s banks. That season encased his vision in a world of white, and the tips of his ears were close to suffering from frost bite. But still he did not move and so his brothers continued to watch as another three months passed, each day weakening their brother’s resolve, and so that stinging cold season passed, the days short, and the nights bitter. And so Winter went.

Six months of expectations, six months of pure withheld isolation from the one person who he loved most. Six months of fear and doubt to eat at his resolve, six months of criticism and questioning; they were watching their brother fall apart to himself Luhan thought darkly as Kyungsoo scratched at the floor, wolf ears flattening onto his skull. Six months, for another six-

Kyungsoo shook his head, wolf tail flicking with desperation as he began to pace again, dark deep chocolate eyes closing as he struggled to come to term with his fears and doubt. She wouldn’t, she couldn’t. But what if…? Was it possible? He knew her best and he trusted her! He no, he still trusted her, yes, he had to believe she was coming back. She would; she wouldn’t leave him. She, she couldn’t-!!

Six more months Kyungsoo, the black wolf promised himself, paws digging into the ground,, chocolate eyes burning into the ice covered river, the ice generously melted down by Chanyeol. For what if she was coming and the ice at the top of the river prevented their reunion? Kyungsoo was having none of that the wolf thought, paw reaching out to almost hesitantly touch the surface of the ice water. Behind him, Minseok stiffened, nudging Jongdae who stilled.

Kyungsoo retracted his paw, head hanging low and both his brothers breathed out an involuntary sigh of relief.

At least he wasn’t that stupid.

Winter ended and in his place, Spring came. The birds sang and the flowers bloomed, the cedar trees regaining their greenery as their territory was bathed in the warm soft glow of the sun. For some reason, this made things ten times worse for Kyungsoo as he noticed. The mated pairs that set about together; love was blooming in the air. The ache he received now was nothing compared to the sheer grim determination and doubt he had felt in Winter.

For Autumn had been hope.

Winter had been desperation.

And Spring, Kyungsoo sank back down on his hauches, fighting the immense wave of despair, sorrow and fear that threatened to drown him, his paws raking into the floor. Behind him, Kris breathed out a soft worried sigh, Junmyeon leaning against the tree, their eyes wary and fearful.

Spring was resignation.

Hence, for the first time since all those months ago when she left, Kyungsoo left his spot by the river, and returned to the pack house. Returned, to the warm hearth and embrace of his brothers. They welcomed him of course, but the smiles never quite reached their eyes as Kyungsoo blindly cocooned himself away.

And so, Spring passed, marking the ninth month of loneliness.

“But then-”

“Shh!” Luhan scolded, huffing irritatedly, “If you’re going to keep interrupting and guessing what happened, then I might as well not continue the story and leave it to your imagination eh?!”

Cue meek apologies and wonderful grateful, oh so longed for silence and obedience. Damn it why did they take after Kyungsoo so much? Him and his problem with authority. Not to mention his subtle way of undermining it, Luhan thought, letting out a loud long suffering sigh.

And hello again! I'm sure you guys have probably been waiting for an update and I'm so sorry but sometimes I get confused with the plot and then I forget what I planned. Like all those little details etc ehem but anyway, the point is this story is coming to an end T^T In maybe two chapters or so? Please keep supporting Love Love Love; upvote subscribe and COMMENT <- please do this haha anyway, SARANGHAE!