2014. The year itself is even, shouldn’t it be a good year? My mother always said good years were the even ones. Odd years were just… odd to her. I chose to believe in her foolish superstitions.

It has been 1 year, 4 months and 22 days with Oh Sehun. Dating him, that is. That doesn’t even include the time we spent getting to know each other, because yes, I actually made him ask to be my boyfriend. And it took him more than five months to ask. So it took two months of knowing him, more than five months for him to officially call me his and then nearly one and half years we’ve been together. In all that time, we have been on more than three hundred dates and have taken just as many, possibly more, selcas. It hasn’t been on my part though as during this time I’ve realized Sehun has an addiction to taking them. I start feeling that warmth tingle all over my body again, I start feeling safe and like I have a shelter to run to. The lost boat that I am, crashing into the shores, has finally found the safety of his harbor in his arms. I’ve found everything that really matters to me., I have fallen tragically in love again. My steps have become a little lighter, my smile a little brighter ever since he came into the picture and ed everything over for me.

But still the thoughts of him still haunt the dark corners of mind. The sneaking, his smile, his lips on mine. I can’t help but miss it all. I miss him. It takes me exactly 1 year and 1 month into my relationship with Sehun that I realize this. I start seeing that I’m just comparing the two and I can’t help it. Do I like Sehun’s lips better? Does his smile make my heart flutter more? Does being with him make me happier? Do I love Oh Sehun more? The thoughts are distracting me from love.

And its on the 23rd day that I realize, I’m still in love with Kim Jongin.