“Hi baby.”

“Hey, aren’t you coming back for dinner?”

“Not tonight, I have someone I’ve gotta meet and its urgent but I’ll be home soon enough. Still, don’t wait up for me, love you baby.”

“Oh, ok… love you too.”

I cleaned the house again for the third time tonight thinking that since, he is not coming home until later, I might as well spend it cleaning up. I always have no time so maybe I should probably get it on now. I made the bed for the fifth time, fluffing the pillows over and over. Inside, I was filled with a nasty feeling of “why didn’t he tell me earlier that he couldn’t come home” but I shrugged and put that nagging emotion behind the back of my ribs. I went down to the kitchen and kept dinner in the fridge, not even hungry anymore. This is not the first time I’ve been left to eat a meal alone in a house too empty that the ringing is far too crazy.

So I went back up to the room, deciding that maybe all these thoughts would drown if I take an hour or two drinking till it overflows my inner brim. I took the keys off the table and my car out my garage into the streets that are now dark and desolate. Further into town, cars pilled up and I pulled over in front of a bar I’ve never been too, taking my coat with me and after locking my car, I put it on. I walked into the bar, thinking of nothing much but maybe some drinks for the night, probably Hennessey. 

I took a seat at the bar, exchanged smiles and small talk with a friendly guy serving me my needed drink. Gulping it down, I close my eyes. What am I doing here on a weekday at 8 at night, alone in a place I have never been. So then I smiled at my silliness and my randomness before someone from the corner of my eye took my attention.

How come it doesn’t come as a shock when I see that it was Jiyong but not really with someone that much of importance because he was kissing her the way he kissed me when he really needs me. I knew it was him, I ironed the suit he was wearing, that was the same tie I helped him put on in the morning. I knew it was he. I took another shot of my Hennessey and let it burn down my throat before I paid the bill and drove back home.

I packed my bags, kept all the things I needed and threw away most of the rest that meant more to him than me. I wrote him a short note that goes along the lines of “one day someone will do you the way you do me... you ing scumbag” and then I left the house which was more of not much pain at all considering the way he treated me like his maid more than his lover.

So, goodbye Jiyong, and here’s to you, for being the trash that you are.