(Why) Have fun noises left me? You’re far away
(Why) Is it getting dim? These scars are like shackles -SHINee, Obsession  

That night, I held the orange close to me and fell asleep.

It was early this time. I was out like a log by 10pm. Then I saw her in my dreams again. But this time, she was crying. And there were no oranges. -- Once again, I had managed to wake up early, fix myself up and cook the food. It was almost becoming a routine. If this keeps up, Jonghyun will probably be 100 years old before the year is over. And doesn't he get tired of the gifts? A pair of funny underwear boxers and a home karaoke device from Onew hyung. A basketball and free lessons for it and a new pair of hyperfuse(shoes) from Minho. (the lessons kind of offended him since he says he's already good.) A 6-month gym subscription and new digicam from me. A new mp3 player from Taemin with a fancy recorder. And a big framed picture of the five of us as a joined gift. I know the gifts he got were awesome since he has the best friends he could ever ask for but if it was me, I'd get tired and demand for a new gift everyday. Nothing like a little bit of weak humor to try to see the bright side of my situation. So there I was, standing across from her as she shouted at the stoplight again. 3..2..1. There's the dance. But it was different. Because I didn't smile. I didn't laugh with her. And I didn't talk. She smiled at me though, but I ignored it. My lips were set into a grim line as I thought of ways to save her. I was just anxious to get this over with. Surprisingly though, she was puzzled by my indifference. Which in turn, puzzled me back. It's not as if she knew me until today. "Hiiiii~" She waved at me. I didn't say anything. My mistake was making friends with her. Being crazy with her and shouting across the street. And that made her want to go over to my side when she shouldn't yet. So now, I should ignore her. No talk = No warming up = No crossing the streets early = Her being safe. It was the only logical solution I can see right now. She huffed and pouted like a litle girl. Then, she decided to talk to the omonim whose orange once again rolled at her own feet. She picked it up and returned it and they had a conversation. This time, the omonim didn't give her any oranges. I kept looking on the right side, where the deadly car would come from. I swallowed, nervous. "Heyyyy! I am really getting annoyed! That's it! I'm crossing over! There are no cars anyway!" She shouted to the stoplight while stomping her flats. She then picked up her bag from the ground and walked. I quickly walked too, ready to block her incase the car comes. That's when I sensed it. The car was coming. "GO BACK!" I shouted to her, rushing over. She froze, surprised. "What?" "I said--" The car was speeding nearer. I quickly ran over the wide street until I reached the middle, exactly the time the car reached us. But this time, I managed to push her out of the way. This time, I was the one who felt the impact. I was faintly aware of dropping my gift and the food. I was faintly aware of her and the omonim screaming and the people coming over. Tinkerbell leaned over to me, crying. "IS HE DEAD?!" She shouted to the others. She grasped my hand. "Are you okay?! You're all bloody! Ohmigosh! Ohmigosh! Ottoke?!" She panicked. I held her hand back weakly and squeezed it to get her attention, all the while feeling my heartbeat slowing down. "What is it?" She looked at me, her eyes wide. I looked at her, wanting to ask the question that's been clouding my mind for the last few days: "Did...I...finally...do it right?" -- My eyes flew open. What's happening? Am I dead? Am I in the hospital? Is this heaven? Or.. "Ummaaa~Kibum-ah!! Wake up already~ today is the day! Get up, up, up! You need to cook the spaghetti remember? Get UP!!" I frowned. Must OnTae follow me up here in heaven too?! Did I bring my cellphone here in heaven by mistake?? I sat up, groaning. I didn't know heaven has beds. "Ummaaa~Kibum-ah!! Wake up already~ today is the day! --" I grabbed what I thought was my phone, but I ended up with something soft. I opened my eyes widely, trying to focus. It was an orange. An orange. I sat up straight and looked around. I was in my room! I was in my room again! I'm not...dead! I inspected my body. I don't feel all lightheaded or whatever. I feel like me! I'm alive! Hallelujah! I'm aliveeeeeee! But wait...then that means... Saving her by dying... Is not the right solution. I looked at my phone. April 8--Wednesday. I'm right back in square one. But this time, I'm making sure I'd do it right. I got up, took a bath, wore the best clothes for the occasion and cooked the spaghetti, even adding