Jessica had never expected herself to work alone in a foreign country. Yes, she had dreamt about working in Japan but it was always meant to be a dream. She never believed in pursuing her dreams, she rather lived each day as it came by. She was wanted to be close to home, or rather close to him. If it was not because her parents were in Canada, she would not have even considered going there for her degree. That was the only period of time that she had spent away from him before this.

For the past two years, Jessica had sent Christmas cards and birthday presents to her God-ma, Bernice and Joe but she had never sent Louis and Joyce anything. She could not bring herself to open any of their emails and cards. Even when they called her, she would quickly hang up the phone when there was a slight mention of Louis' name. She didn't want to know whether Louis and Joyce were still together. She didn't want to know how their relationship was going. In fact, she was constantly afraid of receiving their wedding invitation card – she didn't know how or want to deal with that. She was practically hiding from them.

Jessica thought she had lost Joyce as a friend when she took the overseas assignment away from her, especially when it was all done behind her back. She thought Joyce would never forgive her. Hence, she was pleasantly surprised when Joyce finally left her a voice mail at her office number telling her that she had left their company for a bigger company and a higher position. She was no longer angry with Jessica. She was glad Jessica had taken the overseas assignment; otherwise she would not have found this new fantastic job. She did not leave her new contact information. There was also no mention of Louis in that voice email. Jessica had often pondered over the last little fact and she would reason that it might be because they were no longer together. However, she would then reproach herself for having such thoughts, she can't be so selfish and she must wish for their happiness – even if it hurt her.

Many thoughts were passing through Jessica's head and many feelings were rushing over her heart. She never felt this confused before. She would never return to this place if not for her promise to her boss that she would return after the overseas assignment. She was not someone who would break her promise to someone who had helped her.

An announcement that the flight would be landing in 10 minutes time finally broke Jessica's thoughts. She continued to glance out of the windows. The familiar scenery and buildings appeared slowly before her. She breathed out a deep sigh.

The elevator door opened and Jessica walked out, carrying her luggage. She paused at the door before hers. She wondered what the people behind that door were doing and she really missed them. She had not informed them of her return and she was not ready met him.

She moved on to her apartment. Once she stepped into her apartment, she was shocked. The place was so clean and smelt so fresh as if someone has been living there all this while. It did not seem like it was vacant for two years when she was away.

She looked around the apartment and a sense of familiarity came over her. She then noticed a spread of food on the dining table and there was a vase of her favourite white tulips at the centre of it. She walked over to the dinning table and spotted all her favourite food. She thought perhaps her boss had let slip, hence Joe got to know that she was coming back on this day and prepared this spread with her God-ma and Bernice. However, one item caught her attention and she knew he was involved in this. That chocolate muffin. It wasn't just any chocolate muffin but the one from that shop. No one knew which shop except him. It was something that only they shared.

She dragged her luggage into her room and was in for another surprise. She saw two bottles of paper cranes on her dressing table and from the mirror reflection there was a gigantic teddy bear on her bed. It was holding a huge "I'm sorry" card. She turned to face her bed and saw there were many smaller bears around the big bear. Two of them were dressed in Christmas costumes, another two were holding a birthday card each, two more looked like valentine’s bears and there were many teddy bear key-chains in a fabric box. She was stunned. She knew they were from him. She could feel that he was near like she always did.

She turned towards the door and saw Louis standing at the door frame. She froze for a moment, then she wished to run away, then she wanted to run towards him. She was totally confused and she did not move an inch. She continued to look at him.

He was also staring her. She was prettier than before. She seemed more independent and sophisticated. She had finally cut her hair – she had always kept her hair long since the day he commented that he preferred girls with long hair.

"I'm sorry. I realised you are the one who I want to be with." He finally broke the silence.

She never expected him to say that. She almost wanted to run to him. But she was really scared and she had her pride. "What?! What do you expect me to do? Go back to you just because you said that to me. What if I’m already married and have kids? Do you expect me to abandon my husband and kids to be with you?” she said to him forcefully, trying hard to hide her fear.

He was taken aback by her response. She was not definitely the same "little girl" who left him two years ago. He analysed that she should not have been married and had kids in such as short time frame but she may already found someone else. "Do you have a boyfriend now?" he asked uncertainly.

She wanted to lie to him and say "yes" to protect her pride. But, she could never bring herself to lie to him. Not even now, not even after two years. She battled within herself and she finally mumbled a "No".

He felt a sense of relief and he took a step forward. She immediately retreated backwards until she reached her dressing table.

"Don't come near me!" she yelled at him. "Do you have any idea how long it takes for me to get used to you not being with me? Not to rely you? Not to tell you my joys, my fears? Don’t." Her voice went softer as each word escaped from until she sounded almost as if she was pleading with him. She had finally broken down and she lowered herself onto the floor. The floodgate was opened, the tears could not be stopped. She was trembling.

Somehow, he knew that it was now or never. He stepped forward to her and when he finally reached her, he squatted to her level and did something he never did. He gave her a tight hug. He slowly lifted up one hand and started the back of her head. "I'll always be here." he whispered to her.

(30.03.2007)