“Want some coffee to warm up?” the taller boy asked after they settled on one table in the back of the café and removed his snapback, voice still friendly and familiar.

“Hot chocolate,” Taehyung said in response, feeling like a side observer of someone else’s life, because he was convinced that this movie-like situation wasn’t really happening to him. Like really, from all things possible, just bumping into him on the street? He stared at the other who was casually flipping through the menu, as if this was the most natural situation to be in, and felt that by now his confusion had probably reached its maximum point.

“You dyed your hair?” Taehyung found himself asking, surprising even himself. But he couldn’t not notice, black was a color hard to ignore.

“Kind of, spur of a moment type of thing,” the other confirmed.

Just like those kisses? Taehyung thought, but, of course, didn’t say anything. He watched the room intruder order their drinks and inspected his features more throughoutly. He was now almost sure that the other was older than him, noticing the barely visible, but still there crinkles around his tired-looking eyes.

“What, did you miss me?” the older suddenly laughed and leaned over the table even more, locking his eyes with Taehyung’s for the first time today, as if he wanted to make sure their conversation was heard by no one else but them. “You keep staring at me, you know,” he answered the confused look on the younger’s face, voice as calm as always.

Taehyung knew the other was only joking, probably trying to do something about the inevitable awkward atmosphere, but he felt something in his head just clicking.

“This is ridiculous,” Taehyung exhaled after a few seconds of dumbly staring at the other and leaned to the back of his chair, obviously annoyed. “I wake up one day with a headache and half a dozen of hickeys only to see someone sleeping in my bed, and then I have to get told that I’ve turned into the next stupid boy in his twenties that did absurd things just because he couldn’t handle a few shots of alcohol. I was staring at you? What did you expect, keep up with this whole friendly act and jump around your neck? Sorry, I was too busy thinking of how to return that postcard of yours that seemed important, but I guess that was only me.”

Taehyung knew he was the one being ridiculous. He knew that he was the one being childish and he regretted saying all of it almost immediately, but he really couldn’t help it. Spending three weeks being tense and absolutely confused about the events that occurred on that sunny April morning had just added up to a bundle of negativity he lashed out to someone that didn’t deserve it.

The black haired boy had lost the aura of goofiness that was oozing from him just moments earlier and was now just staring at Taehyung, no sign of his previous smile present. 

Way to go Taehyung, he thought to himself.

“Look, I’m sorry that I-“

“Postcard?” the older questioned, his voice calm but demanding.

Taehyung was baffled. Wasn’t he mad? Some stranger just lashed out on him for no reason, but he didn’t mind? But that only confirmed Taehyung’s assumptions that the piece of paper was really an important possession.

The younger nodded. “There was one really old and crinkled postcard left in my room that I’m sure isn’t mine and you are the only one that has been in my room except my best friend. It wasn’t hard to guess that you’ve somehow forgotten it.”

“Do you have it in you now?” he insisted, the seriousness of his voice taking Taehyung by surprise.

“No, I’m sorry, I only went out to buy something to eat and didn’t bring anything with me except some cash. If it’s that important I can-“

“It is important. Can we go get it?”

“Now?! But it’s pouring outside and-“

“Please,” the nameless interrupted Taehyung again. “Please.”

Taehyung was beyond confused right now, but he knew that the desperation that was showing on the other’s eyes wasn’t something he could just ignore, so he didn’t even try and act rational. He nodded and stood up, seeing that the older was already taking out some money to pay the drinks that hadn’t even arrived yet.

The way back to Taehyung’s dorms was a blur to him – the rain, the nonsense situation, the wordless leading he had to do. They half-ran, half-walked for a little over than ten minutes before they were in front of his room, soaked and breathless.

“Come on in, I will get you a towel.”

Taehyung saw the other nod without saying anything and he left him by the front door before proceeding to his kitchen space. He was feeling guilty about ruining the food he promised Jimin to bring, so he made up something in a text and sent it to him, telling him that something had come up. He didn’t like lying, but technically it wasn’t a lie as there was, in fact, something he had to deal with that would take way too much time to explain.

He was still also feeling guilty about his earlier fit. He knew that the other had no fault that Taehyung was affected by it so deeply and he knew that he was the reason the smile disappeared from his face. He found the postcard on the table and hoped that it would be of help.

“Here,” Taehyung said and handed the stranger a towel, some hot tea and the postcard. The stranger almost gasped when he saw it and there was an immediate look of relief written on his face after collecting the old piece of paper in his hands. Taehyung wondered what was so special about it.

“Thank you,” he started and smiled again, “for not throwing it out.”

Taehyung was taken aback by the sudden change of his mood, but he managed to nod. “How could you lose something so important?” he tried joking, but the other didn’t say anything. He was too engrossed by the object.

“Jung Hoseok.”

“What?”

“My name, I promised to tell you next time we meet, right? I’m Hoseok.”

Hoseok. Jung Hoseok was such a fitting name for him, Taehyung thought.

“Hoseok,” Taehyung repeated to himself and smiled. “I’m Taehyung and I’m sorry for taking it out on you earlier. That wasn’t fair of me and I know it.”

“It’s okay, I already forgot about that. But what happened? You seemed frustrated about something and that must have something to do with me, too, right? Was it because of the postcard?” Hoseok asked and locked his eyes with Taehyung again, putting the object in his pocket.

Taehyung couldn’t hold his gaze for more than half a minute. He turned his head away, feeling like he was about to flush. Could he really just say the truth like this? That his mind had been preoccupied with Hoseok non-stop and that it made him confused and restless to no end. They were drunk, they were intoxicated and irrational, they kissed. And that Taehyung had never felt attracted to boys before, never enough to let someone in his own private space. Never enough to allow someone to leave him marked.

“I don’t like boys,” Taehyung blurted out and for some reason felt like this wasn’t the thing he wanted to say. He saw that Hoseok only raised his eyebrow skeptically, urging him to continue. “I mean, I probably wouldn’t even have believed you if it wasn’t for the…” he halted, feeling the redness spread to his ears.

“The hickeys?” Hoseok finished, failing to hide the amusement in his voice. Taehyung got annoyed at how straight-forward the older always was without the slightest hint of embarrassment, but he was right. He had always been right until now.

“Yeah, them, the memories. It all felt too real. Can you blame me for thinking about it? For feeling pissed off when you asked me if I had missed you? Because I really don’t understand anything.”

Hoseok looked like he was thinking about it and Taehyung averted his eyes again. Why was he being so brutally honest with a person whose name he had just learned? And it wasn’t only that, he was feeling comfortable for the first time in weeks, as if Hoseok’s presence was that one special thing he had needed to finally stop feeling so tense.

“Well, did you dislike it? You said you’ve thought about it a lot, but what did you think about? Are you mad at me for kissing you? Are you mad at yourself for allowing me to kiss you? Which one is it?” Hoseok asked and seemed serious about it. Among embarrassment Taehyung felt grateful that the other was taking him seriously. He didn’t expect it, but yet he had no answer to those questions.

Did he hate it? No, that wasn’t it. He didn’t.

Jimin’s words rang in his head – attraction; subtle fascination.

He had been upset with Hoseok for kissing him even though he wasn’t in a sober state, but he was beginning to realize that he had been even more upset with himself. He had been trying to blame it all on the other, but what about his actual feelings?

“I don’t know,” he confessed in the end. He heard some shuffling sounds, but still didn’t feel like looking at Hoseok.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung heard a whisper a lot closer to him than he was expecting and next thing that registered in his mind was the feeling of a hand gently ruffling his hair. “I’m sorry I made you so confused.” It was all Hoseok said before pulling his hand back.

Taehyung felt a knot form in his stomach. Wasn’t that apology the thing he had been wanting to hear? Then why did it felt so wrong? He wondered if Jung Hoseok would ever not leave him confused. But he didn’t have much time to mull over his thoughts.

“Do you want to grab a meal or something? My treat, to thank you for keeping my postcard and as a proper apology?”

The younger watched Hoseok put on his shoes and he knew that he was leaving again. It felt bittersweet, but he still had questions. He still had things to confirm. He couldn’t let him go just like this.

“I take this as a yes?” Hoseok asked again. He was getting better at reading Taehyung’s silence.

The younger nodded.

“Here is my number,” Hoseok voice and handed Taehyung a piece of paper with neatly written phone number, “but don’t contact me and wait for me to call you first. Deal?”

Taehyung wanted to ask why, but he thought he shouldn’t. He nodded again and took it.

“Then, see you later.”

There was a click and the black-haired boy disappeared behind the door again. It felt bittersweet.

bit·ter·sweet n.

1. Producing or expressing a mixture of pain and pleasure

A/N Hi guys ;u; I've been thinking how to form my a/n for quite awhile, but it isn't really working out. It all come out as excuses - why was I away for two months without explaning anything and so on, and fair enough, because everything that I thought of saying is really nothing but an excuse. I thought of just deleting the entire series because I was sure I wouldn't be able to write for a very long while because of personal reasons and insecurities, but then one day I saw that Xana on Tumblr had listed this fic as one she is looking forward to read, and that made me think that if there is even just one person willing to read my words, then what am I waiting for? I'm sorry it took me so long;;

Also as usual I apologize for the improper English use - spelling, grammar, punctuation. I've become rusty while i was taking a break... Thank you for reading ♥