Through these cracked lenses.

I'll start with the title: It is interesting, yet I can't find myself reading this. I must state that this is a completely personal opinion since I don't like long titles, but considering the plot and the most significative points in the story (as it is, in four chapters) the title seems perfect. Not too short nor too long. I think it also is memorable and very appropiate to the story.

 Okay, let's say that ignoring my disliking of the long title, I decide to read your story. I see the poster, and it tells me two things: angst and romance. This is already a preview of the story, and I congratulate you for having such a good poster. It fits the story quite well, and I find it simple, but beautiful. The details of having the ulzzang with a cracked lens makes it even better.

Next I see your description. It attracts my attention in a very pleasant way because it tells us the basic plot, yet it leaves the most important details out, and that makes the reader interested in knowing more about Zelo's and Mirae's story together, and how he changed her life.

I decided to read the first chapter. It was actually very good, but there was this thing that kept making me uncomfortable, and that was the repeating of words. Yes, I got the point that her life was dull, grey and ordinary, but those three words seemed to repeat too much for my liking, and it just felt as if I was reading the same thing over and over again... Your grammar, nonetheless, was very precise and I liked that. There were very few errors, which weren't even major mistakes, and I think you could just double check and fix them.

I really liked how you wrote about Mirae because you made her a human character. She is not too "Life is so bad, omaigash everything is uninteresting and I don't care about anything!" And that is seen in the few interactions she has with both the male lead and her friends. I see her more like a introverted girl than a plain character, and I congratulate you yet again for this. Zelo, that boy is just too naive and innocent for his own good. I think that he is still a bit of a 2D character instead of a 3D (real) character. Maybe as the story keeps going I'll see this boy character blooming...

The plot is interesting, but I think that the school life + gangs are just overused. I hope you don't make this the tipical fanfiction where: there is this main girl, who has trouble in her life and isn't important in school. Suddenly this cute guy confesses and they get together because she secretly had a crush on him. They are in their happily ever after paradise and then some guy decides to A) take revenge on the male or B) Use the girl as a bait for a trap and kidnap her. She then discovers that he is a gangster and they have troubles and whatnot, yadayadayada everyone lives happily ever after.  Because you already have a good plot and don't need to make it that amateurish.

Anyways, my overall impression of this story was pretty good, as I found Mirae's past interesting and I think that as long as you don't make her into a "Mary Sue" like most of the school life OCs are, your story will keep being fresh and attract more and more people as you keep writing it.

This story will be featured in the first edition of Seventh Heaven's "Featured Stories".

—Review by Reekyung @ Seventh Heaven Review Shop.