The girl’s hair was a rich shade of dark brown, cascading past her shoulders in generous waves, flowing like the river she was standing over. Her black orbs were her eyes, framed by long, and curved lashes. They were natural, unlike many others of her age. Along with a straight nose and full pink lips, she was practically a picture of perfection. All she needed was a frame, and she could have been hung up in a museum.

The weather was cool and crisp. No humidity, just gentle breezes. The occasional greater gust of wind brought about a chill to the bones of her spine. The sun was warm, and when there was no wind for the few seconds, she could feel the warm rays of the sun on her porcelain-like skin. It couldn’t have been a more perfect, idyllic day.

But it wasn’t.

Much like all the other days, months, years she had lived—this day was no different. She felt wonderful, but there were so many other things that stopped her from feeling that way; completely perfect, that is.

****

At age ten, Yoona has always been a good sister to her siblings, Minho and Sooyeon. Having to take care of both at such a young age was no easy feat, but since their family had not enough to hire a maid, it was her responsibility to look after them both. Being the oldest one of the family, she was expected to do many things, and keep up the overall health of the two other children.

Yoona loved them both equally, and paid attention to them both equally too. At home, while her parents weren’t around, she would have to make sure the seven and five year old didn’t quarrel, and make breakfast as well as lunch. When their parents attended dinners outside or had meetings till late, or were working over time, she would have to make dinner as well. To top that all off she had to wash their clothes. Since the family didn’t have a washing machine, all clothes had to be hand washed.

“Noona, we’re going outside to play by the river.” Minho announced.

“Alright, but be careful, please. I don’t want you two to get hurt. If Mother and Father finds out, I’d be skinned alive.” Yoona replied, looking Minho in the eyes.

“Arasso.” He nodded firmly and grabbed Sooyeon’s hand, pulling her to the river.

Yoona wanted to watch them, like she usually would, but she decided since Minho promised to be careful, she would trust him. Unfortunately, this time it didn’t go too well. As the pair approached the river and Yoona turned her back to begin washing clothes in the sink, Minho slipped and fell on the muddy ground, groaning in pain.

“Unnie!” Sooyeon yelled frantically, running back to Yoona and pulling on the hem of her dress. The latter immediately sensed that something was wrong, instructed Sooyeon to stay behind and went to check on Minho.

The boy was on the ground, with a scraped knee and blood gushing out of it, and seemed to have twisted his ankle. Using all the strength she had, Yoona bent down and picked Minho up, carrying him back towards the house. “Noona, I’m sorry.” He mumbled softly in her ear.

She shook her head—she couldn’t blame him, after all. It wasn’t the boy’s fault. Even if she’d gotten mad, there would have been no use, because it wouldn’t have helped the situation. Sitting him on the sink, she reached over to grab a towel and wet it with warm water. Yoona damped the wound with water gently, cleansing it before blowing on it softly.

“Noona, I’m really sorry. I should have been more careful.” Minho said apologetically, frowning. Yoona knew she was going to get into trouble, but was praying that nothing too horrible would happen. She shook her head, as if to tell him that it was no matter. But she couldn’t hide the fear from her face. What was going to happen later when their parents found out?

Just as she finished bandaging his wounds, a loud voice boomed from the living room. “Kids, we’re home!” Minho looked up anxiously at Yoona, and whispered, “Be strong, noona. I’ll try to explain to them.” She shook her head once more, and helped him off the kitchen counter, walking towards her parents.

“Yoona! What happened to Minho?” Her mother yelled, examining the boy’s knee.

“It’s not noona’s fault, I fell—” Minho started, but was unfortunately cut off.

“Im Yoona, you were supposed to take care of them both! I trusted you with a responsibility and you didn’t fulfill it? I come back to see Minho hurt like this? And this bandaging skill is unacceptable!” Mrs. Choi exclaimed exasperatedly. Mr. Choi stood by and watched, unable to help.

Yoona looked down apologetically. “I’m sorry, Mother.”

“Sorry is not acceptable either. Go back to your room now and reflect. You are not allowed out for dinner. Food will be sent to your room.” Mrs. Choi said coldly. Sooyeon glanced at Yoona, and for a moment, their eyes met, before the woman pushed her roughly upstairs.

****

At age fifteen, Yoona has always been a consistent student in school, getting good grades and staying in the top classes every year since she had started school. Working hard to get good grades was her priority, but she also had supportive friends who didn’t mock her for her ambition and goals. One of the most important goals she had was to attain the scholarship. It was a prestigious scholarship offered by the school, and if she had studied hard enough, she would be able to go to college, all expenses paid.

It was nearing the end of the year and there would be an awards ceremony to present awards to the students who’d topped their cohort or had improved an exceptional amount.

“Mother, I’ve gotten the award for top in the level. Here’s the invitation to the ceremony.” She smiled softly, handing the white envelope to her mother. The woman barely smiled. “I’ll see if I can come.” Mrs. Choi said, turning and walking away from the table, as if disgusted by the envelope.

On the day of the awards ceremony, as Yoona’s name was being called, she looked in the audience and saw only Minho and Sooyeon—her parents had not bothered to come and watch her. Forcing a smile as she collected her award along with her certificate, she tried hard to blink back the tears that were almost going to fall from her doe-like eyes.

****

At age eighteen, Yoona had gotten a writing internship. She was exceptionally talented in literature, and her teachers wanted to give her a chance, since she was also a well-behaved student. Given this opportunity, she had a week to consider it. If she went for the internship, it meant that she had to move out of her house and into the dorms.

Again, she had turned to her parents. “Mother, I’ve been selected for a writing internship, and I was wondering if we could discuss—” She wasn’t even halfway through her sentence when Mrs. Choi cut her off once more, “You can do whatever you want, as long as you don’t get into trouble. I have better things to do now, so be off.” The woman dismissed Yoona with a wave of her hand.

Yoona turned, gripping the letter of the internship in her hands, leaving it on the dining table as she passed it and retreating to her room, sobbing softly. She didn’t cry out loud, because that would attract unwanted attention. She considered the internship carefully. If she went for it, she would have to move out of her house. But then again, who gave a damn?

Minho and Sooyeon would be busy studying and probably wouldn’t miss her while she was gone—maybe the occasional emails and calls, but nothing more—and her parents just didn’t bother to make time for her anymore. She had concluded, quite surely at that, that they were biased towards the younger children.

She wasn’t the type to compare, no, she never compared, but she noticed that whenever Minho and Sooyeon had done anything particularly worth mentioning, like topping their class in grades, or winning first prize in a contest, her parents would celebrate it happily, leaving Yoona out of it. She wasn’t jealous, she never would be—in fact, she was happy for them, since they had deserved recognition where they deserved, but she couldn’t help but feel upset.

And so Yoona went forth with the writing internship.

****

The writing internship was where she fell in love for the first time. There was nothing truly more amazing than love, she felt, as she first noticed Shim Changmin. He was remarkably handsome, what with his tousled hair, strong yet gentle gaze, perfect face shape, amazing body… He was perfect.

Of course, with her being a beautiful lady at the age of nineteen and still single, Changmin had noticed her the moment she stepped onto the campus. They signed up for the same courses; talked a lot, found out that both had many things in common… It wasn’t surprising that they became the campus couple. On the day he’d asked her out (of course she accepted), she took a bus back home and rushed to tell her family.

Yoona hadn’t seen them for three weeks. Minho and Sooyeon were at camp, so only her parents were around. Mrs. Choi acknowledged her return, but said nothing about offering to cook dinner for her. Yoona kept a smile on her face though, as she announced, “I’ve gotten my first boyfriend, Mother, and his name is Changmin, Shim Changmin, he’s—”

“At the writing internship?” Mrs. Choi had said, narrowing her eyes. Mr. Choi just listened, as he always did, used to his wife’s straight and blunt words. “Yes, why?” Yoona grinned, unable to contain her excitement. Mrs. Choi scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Men who write are worthless. You could have dated a better person for your first relationship. What good will a writer of a boyfriend, or husband do for you? He can’t provide you with money, or anything like that!” Mrs. Choi had said, throwing her arms in the air, seemingly mocking her daughter of a foolish decision, which wasn’t really that foolish in the first place.

Yoona stepped back from her mother, clearly hurt by her words. She knew all along that her mother had always been such a person, but this time she had gone much too far. “I’m sorry for coming, Mother.” She had stammered, turning and running out of the house, and took a bus back to the writing internship, where Changmin had been wondering where Yoona went.

****

There were many instances of such—Yoona doing something great, but her mother only seeing the bad side of things. And it wasn’t only that. Whenever she did something great, no one ever seemed to notice, and commend her for it. She always was the one who blended into the background, as if she was an extra that the Choi family never needed.

She felt unrecognized, unnoticed, and forgotten.

****

The girl took a deep breath, looking at the deep waters below her. Smiling, she looked up at the sky once more. It was indeed a perfect day. If I die like this, no one will remember me, right? She laughed bitterly and whispered to herself, “No one.”

::::

“Jessica-ssi, do you know where Yoona is now?” Gunwoo spoke hurriedly into the phone, strapping his seatbelt on. “No, I don’t. But I think she said something about heading to the river or something?” A delicate voice came over the phone. He nodded, and flung his phone into the seat behind him, accelerating and speeding on the road.

Yoona, please tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.He thought, biting his lip in frustration. He’d tried to call Yoona three times already, and she didn’t pick up. For the past few days she had been acting strangely, always seemed to be distant and if she ever spoke, it would be dripping with sarcasm or coldness. He knew something was up, and when he had dropped by her house that morning, no one was at home.

Jessica was still in the country, so he suspected she was the only one who probably knew her whereabouts, whilst Minho was in America doing business. See, her parents had died a year after she left for the internship, and Yoona moved back after completing three years there (and that was how he knew her) to live with her two siblings again in the house, taking care of them like she always did.

Gunwoo spotted a girl by the river, and immediately turned a sharp left. He parked by the road, rushing out of the car, not even bothering to lock it. He squinted his eyes. It was Yoona, but he was unsure of what she was doing. He sprinted forth, and realized that she was about to step of the bridge.

“Yoona, stop!” He shouted, and she turned around.

::::

“What, pray tell, are you doing?” His voice came in sharp gasps as he grabbed her hand tightly, looking at her in the eyes furiously. “What do you think I’m doing?” She smirked, gazing back with equal intensity. Gunwoo was close to slapping her. Holding his free hand behind his back, he pulled Yoona away from the side of the bridge, closer to the centre.

“Let me go, Gunwoo.” She threatened with her eyes, narrowing them furiously. “No, Im Yoona, I’m not going to let you kill yourself like this. Have you gone crazy, Yoona? Drowning in the river? What are you thinking?” This time he gripped her shoulders with both his hands, incensed.

“You want to know what I’m thinking? Lee Gunwoo, before you make any accusations, why don’t you try and step into my shoes for once and look at things from my point of view. I’ve never been appreciated for what I’ve done—ever. No one has praised me before in my life. And I don’t mean, ‘good job, Yoona’, or ‘nice one’, I mean actual thanks or appraisal. No one has done that before. Everything I’ve done in my life, all the achievements, has gone unnoticed. No one ever gives a damn about whatever I do—”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Im Yoona. I’ve always admired everything you’ve done. Ever since I met you, the events you’ve organized, the pieces of writing and poetry and whatnots that you’ve shown me, the stories you’ve told me of your past achievements, you taking care of your siblings like no mother could have done as well, topping your cohort, attaining the scholarship, getting into the internship itself, I’ve noticed everything. I’ve just never… told you.”

He lifted her chin and then wrapped his arms around her. “Get away from me, Gunwoo!” She yelled, pushing him away. He was surprised as he was being thrown off balance, almost falling if he hadn’t caught the pole behind him. “You don’t know what it’s like, Gunwoo. And if you did notice, why didn’t you tell me? And again, if you did… Why didn’t you notice…” She trailed off, turning around.

“Notice what?” He asked, gently placing and hand on her shoulder. “Notice that I love you, Gunwoo. I always have been, and you just went along as if I was your best friend. I don’t know if you know this or not, but I do love you. In so many ways you don’t even realize. I…” Yoona shook her head, throwing his hand off.

“Yoona look, I’m sorry I didn’t—”

“Sorry doesn’t fix anything now!” Yoona cried. “It never will. And even if I go back to the life I was in before, even if you noticed everything, it’ll still be the same. You can’t change things, Gunwoo. Nobody can.”

With that, she walked towards the side of the bridge, and took the plunge. But before she hit the water, she felt Gunwoo’s arms around her as she fell, and she could have sworn she heard the words whispered into her ear on the way down, “I love you too, Im Yoona.”

I might have lived my life on my own, and I might have faced everything by myself, but at least, at the end of my life, I’m not falling alone.And then she out, smiling a true and happy smile, because it really was over. All of it.