On May 4, 2012, Kim Hyun Joong, Patria B. Ragasa and I had a date with destiny. Nine months from August 26, 2012, our paths crossed again on May 4, 2012 at 8:00 p.m. at the Singapore Indoor Stadium. We arrived in Singapore on May 2, 2012 with one fervent birthday wish that we would meet the ONLY ONE, Kim Hyun Joong.

My mom and I woke up early. Although tired from our day trip with the kids at the Universal Studios in Singapore, we were wired and alert. We had waited so long for this opportunity to meet Kim Hyun Joong in person. Nine months ago and on my mom’s birthday, at the The Faceshop event, we met and was hugged by Kim Hyun Joong. Since then, my mom’s one singular wish was to meet him again. Having taken a sip of the wine, she refused to settle for anything less than the perfection of that fateful day in August. Being a realist at heart, I was willing to settle just to see him in the Singapore fanmeet and indulge in watching him sing and dance live. Not my mom! While most fangirls would die for the just the chance just to shake his hand and do a hi5, my mom insists that she is way more than a fan. She insists, nay, demands, that he must know the person he is meeting and that it is not some mechanical act of fan service. I told her I wasn’t that ambitious but she was determined to have her way.

Before the August meeting with Kim Hyun Joong in 2012, my mom predicted our meet months before. The quest to meet Hyun Joong personally started in Korea while we waited like forlorn kids at the artists’ entrance inside one of the Studios of MBC in Korea. We cried because although we saw him really close, we were not allowed to meet him. Thus, the journey began for us, culminating at The Faceshop event. Since then, there has not been an end to our journey into the heart of Kim Hyun Joong.

Fast forward, on May 4, 2012, I wake up to the sound of rain pitter patter of rain against the hotel’s glass window. My initial reaction was one of horror. Oh God, rain on his fanmeet! Before the feeling of utter helplessness could engulf me, I remembered Kim Hyun Joong saying that rain, ss501 and concerts were given factors. He considered the rains before any concert to be a sign of luck.

My mom, Joy, JB, Carlos, Rachel and I trooped to the Singapore Indoor Stadium at 1:00 p.m. The whole place was deserted. I was dismayed that there was no indication that a fanmeet was to happen at 8:00 p.m. We were not the earliest there because we met two Japanese fans, two Indonesian fans and an Australia fan. Like soldiers, we exchanged Hyun Joong war stories and the reasons for our steadfast love for him. We were not embarrassed to reveal what was in our hearts even if we became emotional. We shared the same feelings for him.

When one of the fans came informing us that Kim Hyun Joong had left his hotel and was on the way to the Stadium, like true fangirls we rushed to the side entrance just to catch a glimpse of him. It was truly a glimpse that my eyes failed to see him walk by. One of the Japanese fans caught his arrival on video and I saw his image on the screen. After waiting in vain for him to make an appearance, my mom and I decided to go up by elevator and head towards the entrance gate of the venue. The glass doors and walls were taped over so that no one could witness the rehearsals. We could hear him singing with the band or some taped music.

We were first in line. The day had cleared and the sun was out. It was hot and humid. We had taken a lunch at The Mushroom Pot. I wasn’t hungry. Despite the sweltering heat, I refused to drink any liquid. I was determined not to leave the line of six to go to the restroom that was almost a kilometer away! I had this paranoid fear that if a left the line even for a second, Kim Hyun Joong might just make an appearance. We waited for almost seven hours. Seated uncomfortably in my wheelchair, I was resigned to just finishing and surviving the fanmeet hopefully  without any issue, health or otherwise. Although my spirit was flagging, my mom never lost hope that we would meet him.

The amazing part was no one in my family uttered any complaint. While it may have seemed crazy to my sister, she knew our passion. She adjusted herself. She used the waiting period to shop at a mall near the venue. Rachel, who acted as my girl Friday, never left my side and she used the time to talk to SISTIC, the organizer of the fanmeet. She made them aware of my disability and the fact that my mom is 75 years old, a senior citizen. She bravely faced the Korean counterpart of Keyeast discussing with them the location where we were seated at the venue could not be negotiated by a wheelchair bound person. Promises were made to allow us to enter ahead. But like all promises, this was broken and our patience at being early and at the head of the line really paid off. We didn’t enjoy any preference but I didn’t mind. I always pull my weight and never expect any favors where none can be forthcoming. The worst thing that any disable hates is being pitied. So I have since resolved never to expect others to help unless it is extended sincerely.

Before the gates opened people stated arriving in trickles. When some media people recognized my mmm and saw our identical t-shirts, they started taking pictures of her. They were more intrigued when they realized that she was gregarious, as they say a good copy. I took a backseat. When the Indonesian press interviewed her on camera, I was truly happy for my mom. Yet, I was afraid how much pain she would feel in case, she failed to meet Kim Hyun Joong. I was psyching her to be content with what fate would allow for us. But you don’t know my mom if you think she will accept a no when she has set her mind on something. She is the strength from whom I draw on my will to live despite my disability. She reminded of our mantra from Kim Hyun Joong, “Believe!”

When I entered the venue, I was relieved to feel the cold blast of the aircon. The joy I felt at being at Kim Hyun Joong’s fanmeet was doused when I saw the steep stairs leading to our seats. I felt the futileness of it all. It was impossible to bring the wheelchair down. My first thought was, “How can I do the hi5 when I had to go down and thereafter, climb to the stage?” When the usher inquired if I could manage, I didn’t hesitate and nodded. Rachel and JB helped me descend slowly. Once my mom and I were seated, I threw away all my fears and misgivings at not getting to meet Kim Hyun Joong. I was going to enjoy the fanmeet and let destiny find its course. Que sera sera!

What a spectacular show it was! Only superlatives are in my mind. I have always wondered what it felt to attend such events. Here we were, my mom and I, and we felt the electricity of his presence. He held each and every one of us in the audience in the palm of his hand. I have witnessed many concerts and some more elaborate than this, but it is Kim Hyun Joong who is the complete star. He sang and danced his way into our hearts. I know it sounds trite but it’s the only way to describe it. In the middle of the program, when he sang “Thank You,” my tears poured from my eyes as I’m sure there wasn’t a dry eye in the audience. I have heard him sing that song a million times yet while he stood on that darkened stage, I felt as if he were singing it only for me. Time warped and all the frustrations and discomfort leading to this time washed away with my tears. Eottoke?

At his last song, and the lights were , I realized how time flew by and the fanmeet was almost coming to a close after Hyun Joong gave a rousing encore of “Lucky Guy.” At his prodding, the crowd rose spontaneously and everyone including my mom and I danced with him.

Then, it was time for the hi5. The instructions were clear and simple. Cameras on stage would not be allowed. Every one of the three thousand strong in the fanmeet would have the opportunity to shake his hands or hi5 him. People were to be ushered onto the stage and exit out of the stadium. I told my mom that even if it kills me I am going to Kim Hyun Joong. I wasn’t going to let my disability stop me from meeting him. Suddenly an usher approached me. He told me, “Please don’t leave. Arrangements have been made for you to meet Kim Hyun Joong. My mom and I and our party would be the last to meet him. Of course, that floored me! But seeing the swift and brisk pace of the fans filing passed Kim Hyun Joong, I felt that my slowness and disability would inconvenience people. When I felt mom’s hand hold mine as if assuring me that it would be all right. I told myself, “Believe!”

When the pit and the right section were finished, I was surprised when the usher told me to get ready for the hi5. Events unfolded swiftly at this point. I stood up. I was flanked on both sides, with JB on my left and Rachel on my left. As I started taking the first tottering steps down the stairs, I could hear the fans from my section started screaming, “Fighting.”  There was clapping. Then someone held my wheelchair and instructed me to sit. As I took my seat, I saw Mr. Jeong, Hyun Joong’s personal bodyguard. He was overseeing our descent. Koreans in Kim Hyun Joong’s entourage surrounded my mom and me. Then, I was literally airborne when the Koreans hoisted my wheelchair with me on it! I heard someone telling me not to be afraid. By this time pandemonium broke loose. The audience stood on their feet giving a rousing standing ovation! People were clapping and shouting. When my wheelchair was set down and I was wheeled towards the stage, I was prepared to stand and climb the stairs, when suddenly someone gave me a tight hug and a kiss. What the heck? Until I looked up, and encountered Kim Hyun Joong’s eyes, I was rendered speechless. Then, I saw him cross over to my mom. He, too, hugged and kissed her. I reached out for his hand and he extended it, and rewarded me with a sweet smile. I was crying at the sheer joy of the moment. He actually went down to meet us! We were his first and only hug and kiss that night.

This must be what it feels like to enter the state of nirvana. Time and space ceased to exist. I saw only his gentle, kind eyes. I melted at that adorable smile. His embrace was tight and sincere. It felt like he had seen a long lost friend. It was like I was coming home to a warm and welcoming hearth. Kim Hyun Joong was my comfort food. What joy! No, he is, as John Denver once sang, a rocky mountain high. In a cliché, I was on cloud nine.

Every one knew that my fondest birthday wish was to meet Kim Hyun Joong. I knew, in the reverse, my mom was moving heaven and earth to make this wish come to fruition. I’ll tell you her secret. She prayed to the Blessed Mary to help us in our quest plus some magic dust to make this happen. Then, hold on to the mantra and say it often, “Believe.”  Miracles do happen. It happened to me. It happened to my mom. It can happen to you.

On hindsight, a Korean’s promise and for us to trust him, was part of the equation that moved the mountain towards us. We didn’t even get his name. We were all strangers brought together by a Korean angel named Kim Hyun Joong. The minute I saw Mr. Jeong, I knew that my Leader knew we were in the audience! How else would you explain why his personal bodyguard would leave his charge’s side to help some strangers? At the sight of all the Koreans shepherding us towards Kim Hyun Joong, my mom and I knew that we were no longer just faces in the crowd! The fact that Kim Hyun Joong risked his personal safety just to go down from the stage to meet us, was something to ponder upon. I have asked myself a million times why Mr. Jeong escorted us personally to the exit gate. My mom shouted, “Mr. Jeong, remember Manila?” He said, “Yes.” He gave me and my mom a bow, perhaps out of respect. Finding my voice, I uttered, “Kansamnida.” Kim Hyun Joong found a way to reach out to us perhaps appreciating our immense love for him.

Outside people surrounded us asking to have our pictures taken. My mom was interviewed again. I basked in the afterglow of the moment. Truly, it pays to believe.

Kim Hyun Joong, my Leader, thank you for my birthday gift!

Writer's Note: The Author Tita Maru gave the permission to share her story.