~> Graphics and more.
Star Section-AGraphics
Thank you for the Graphics Shops who made our requested graphics.
~Enchanted Postershop
Poster:
Background:
~Forbidden Dreamers
Poster:
Background:
Banner:
~F o r g e t f υ l Flowers「忘记」
Poster:
Background:
Reviews
Also, thank you to the ones who reviewed our story.
~Reviewed by: Overdose Reviews
Title: 3/5
Quite understandable why the title is like that, because it focuses on the ten students. It isn't quite striking or a stand-out amongst other titles. Still, I could see it relate to the plot in the future.
Description and Foreword: 6/10
The description. I do like the mysterious feel of the description. It gave off a strange feeling to me when I read it, making me wonder who was the killer and who was the pure one. You just described how many students there were, and a mystery far from being solved. The student profiles weren't really necessary, since you could just introduce them in the story. It clogged up the foreword as well.
Characterization: 10/15
I'm only going to focus on the main character here, who is Suzy. After four chapters, what I've grasped from what I've read, she's an innocent and sweet girl who is also smart, since she belongs in the star section. I don't actually get her character yet, since it's still on the fourth chapter. I hope to get to know her more, but her persona from what I read seems nice, and I do hope I see more of her flaws in the future.
Grammar: 11/15
You have few errors, but these are some notable errors to edit:
"It has a large cut by the stomach, and some minor cuts all around the body" Mr. Lee Junho, the detective in charge of the crime. = After body, there should be a period.
"Noted" Kim Dasom, noted. = Redundancy of the word 'noted' It could be like this: "Noted," Kim Dasom said.
"I see" Junho held his chin. = " I see." Junho held his chin.
"What?" I lifelessly said. = "What?' I lifelessly asked.
Be back here after 45 minutes, we'll held a trial. = Be back here after 45 minutes, we'll hold a trial.
Also, please refrain from using Korean words like nae, molla, and gomawo.
Appearance: 6/10
The poster is very pleasing. The blending of the black, white, grey and red is phenomenal. Props to whoever made it. The typography looks a little out of place, but still amazing. You separated dialogues from each other, which is good.
Flow: 3/5
Surprisingly, the flow was just right. I thought it was going to be quite fast since it's mostly all dialogues and almost no description, but then the flow was alright.
Originality/Plot: 15/20
This kind of plot was done before. A group of people and one crime scene. One is a killer amongst them and the reader has to find out who. Yet, in your story, you said one was the only pure one. And I'm interested on who it is, and you put a twist to the used plot.
Enjoyment: 10/20
I do like Suzy and the other groups, but I'm not much of a fan of them. Also, your story lacks description of feelings and settings. I do advise you to write description of them, so that readers will feel a lot more attached to the characters. Good luck with your guys stories!
Total = 64/100
~Reviewed by Spellbound Review & Poster Shop
Story title: 4/5
Your title is unique and eye-catching. ‘Star Section-A’ is a great title but since this is a detective/mystery/case-solving fanfic, it would be better to add a word that is related to those genres above. The word ‘star’ made me think about dance, bright and colorful things so ‘Section-A’ itself is enough. (It’s my opinion though, you don’t have to change it if you don’t want^^;) Graphics: 5/5 -The dark theme is suitable for your fanfic, I like it very much!
Description/Foreword: 7/10
Your description caught my attention and I instantly liked it! The suspense is nerve-wrecking and you made me curious. I liked the way you ask the readers questions in your description (My English teacher said it’s a good way to write introduction^^) -I also liked the way you introduce your characters and put up their profiles, it’s convenient and I wasn’t confused at who’s older or who’s younger.
Characterization: 10/10
Characterization was okay, like, IU was this bubbly nerd and Woo rejected her and she became quiet. Her personality totally changed at chapter 4 where she said something about revenge. Love it. You developed your characters well and I hope you’d continue that in the future. I like Suzy’s character here, she’s a curious person and she thinks a lot. Tiffany’s character is great. Some authors made their characters mean and very much out of character but you didn’t and you did a very good job at it!
Response: 1/2
There aren’t many comments on your story and it was such a great story! Perhaps you should advertise your story to get more subscribers and feedbacks and upvotes.
Consistency: 8/8
You updated frequently, good job!
Grammar/Writing Style: 11/20
Your grammar was okay BUT there were some errors here and there. I noticed that you wrote in past tense then shifted to present tense and then back to past tense again. Oh, there were some spelling errors too. -There’s no past tense after did. For example,
“Where did you saw these footprints?”
It should be,
‘where did you see these footprints?’
I think the flow of the story is a bit fast, it’s like you wanted to include everything and keep it short. It’s alright to make it short but fanfics needs time to write, so take your sweet time. -You should also explain the atmosphere, background, what was his/her reaction, how did they react, what’s the color of the wall, what is he/she wearing, etc. Those kinds of things are small but if you add them to your story, it will make it even more enjoyable to read.
This way, your chapters will be longer (Remember, if too detailed it would be boring, so just mention some important stuff. Who knows, it might help with their case XD) -Also, about the change in POVs, it’s kind of annoying (to me). You should write a chapter in only one POV that doesn’t confuse readers. I recommend you to use third POV though, that way you can explain everything without changing POVs.
Overall enjoyment: 8/10
I love your story! Throughout the whole chapters, it felt like I am Suzy and currently on a quest to solve murders and mysteries. I could really feel the suspense when I read your fanfic (Or it was just me being too immersed in reading XD) Advertise your story to get more readers, it would be such a waste if a good fanfic like yours is undiscovered!
Total: 54/70
Your Author & The Editor
+Your Author
+Message:
Hi everyone~ I'm the one who posts the story. AlwaysInspiredWriter will edit it when she's not busy. Thank you for supporting our story !!
~AlwaysInspiredWriter
+Your story editor
+Message: Hi everyone~ <3 I'm the story editor. I do not post the chappies, I just edit them. Keep on supporting our story ;)
Table of Contents
Comments