A hand to hold.

The burnt image of a girl next to him.

The smell of coffee in the morning.

A strange yet familiar smile.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“I love you most.”

What’s happening?!

Seunghyun couldn’t even sleep after drinking his sleeping pills, none of his nerves has calmed down and things were reverting back to where it was three years ago. He can feel the dark consuming him, as if they were about to suffocate him, and he didn’t even know why. The imageries starts to cloud his vision and he couldn’t even see properly, everywhere his eyes look that strange yet familiar woman was there, the voices started to reverberate even louder than before as if it’s begging to be remembered. He held on to his head, he wanted to scream but nothing would come out, his head was spinning yet his body won’t go back to bed as if there was a part of him that’s wanting to break out. It was as if there was someone inside of him trying their best to get out, and Seunghyun doesn't even recognize who it is.

His legs led him outside of his room and into his office, a place that he himself had not touch for almost three years. He didn’t even know why he was making sure his steps were unheard from his friends, he wasn’t even sure why he needed to hide in secrecy, he had nothing to hide from them. He didn’t even know why, he doesn’t know a lot of things that was happening to him, he doesn’t even know why he typed in ‘Kim Yubin’ on various search engines on his old and dusty macbook. The confusion was too much for him to bear, too much for a man to handle. It was starting to hurt, it was just like three years ago, the world started to rain down on him in a million flashing lights and screams as he opened the door and he didn't even know why.

Seunghyun wanted answers and answers he shall receive.

What happened next was not what he expected, the search resulted in Kim Yubin the once child actress and other various Kim Yubin that wasn’t the one he know. He then searched for ‘Ahn Sohee Kwon Jiyong coffee shop’ in hoping to find what he was looking for, but he got pages and pages of fanfictions of the two, again not what he had hoped but he was expecting such since he typed the keywords. But it wasn’t until he stumbled upon the tenth page of the search that he saw a sentence in large colorful capital letters.

‘HEEDRAGON TOOBIN RIMI DAEEUN SUNTAE, WONDER GIRLS AND BIG BANG, WONDERBANG FOREVER’

Wonder Girls and Big Bang? He recalled Sohee, Sunmi, Yeeun, and Sunye being in a girl group together but the group disbanded after Sunye got married and allegedly broke Taeyang’s heart. If he remembered correctly the group name was Wonder Girls, but the group was seemingly ancient and even when he tried asking about it so long ago, everyone had the same type of answer.

“I heard of them.”

“Oh that group! They’re ancient.”

“I don’t really know.”

“Who?”

He gave up trying to know who the group were, back then it seemed irrelevant. He thought that maybe the group was just an unknown group, one of the groups that never even made it to the stage, the forgettable ones. But then as he stumbled upon the site that was seemingly abandoned he saw that the Wonder Girls have just as much fans as Big Bang, probably even more. He saw covers of their songs, albums, and edited pictures. He saw links to their variety show, history, and profiles. The girls werent forgetable nor were they the ones that never made it. No. Wonder Girls were the one that paved the road for Kpop to go world wide, the ones that dared to venture out internationally before all of them ever dared to hope.

He was in awe, those girls were magnificent. But amongst all of them there were three things that caught his eyes; the rapper, ‘Kim Yubin’ and the word ‘Toobin’. He was aware that HeeDragon was a couple name for Sohee and Jiyong that was made up by fans, he was aware that RiMi was for Seungri and Sunmi, along goes with DaeEun and SunTae. But what the hell was TooBin?

Was it a sport? Something that involves tubes? Because when he searched for it those things came up, nothing was relevant to his searches until he narrowed it down to ‘TooBin WonderBang’. The first video that came up was an Inkigayo performance back in 2008, Seunghyun laughed at the video seeing that it has low quality and awful sense of fashion, he never knew why he wanted to keep his hair long when it looked so repulsive. But all the early 2000's embarassment aside, he kept on looking at the video, focused, because he knew that the tall man with the awful haircut was him yet he didn’t even have any recollection of it.

And there she was in gold, hair short, smile so bright.

And everything started to hurt again.

He was there with her, they did Lies together and he couldn’t even remember. The absence of explanation hurts him and he began to search again back to the abandoned site, for answers, for anything that he might have missed, for anything that might give him answers. And what he found hurts him more, articles, threads, videos of them together. And even with all of those he still couldn’t remember what happened exactly.

‘WonderBang rappers allegedly dating.’

‘Kim Yubin and Choi Seunghyun spotted in Apgujeong on a date.’

‘TOOBIN IS REAL’

‘Wonder Girls rapper Kim Yubin and Big Bang rapper Choi Seunghyun to marry in June 2015.’

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