(1 year ago)

Blood was everywhere all I could see was blood trickling down the side of ____’s head down from her nose out of , it was like water never ending except it was red and a bit thicker, smoke coming out of the engine, the smell was making my stomach turn in all directions while little sparks were shooting out of the car little by little, fire was seen little here and there. The sight of my girlfriend being pulled into the ambulance van made me cry silently it’s just how I remembered my mother dying she was lying there lifeless while my father walked in circles waiting for the doctor to come out and tell us what happened to her.  I was too young to understand what was happening but I can still remember every little detail of that moment, and right now it is exactly what is happening now. All I could do was watch, watch as they took my girlfriend towards the hospital while I lay on the floor felling like I had just lost another important person.

     It’s been a year, a whole year since the girl I love _____ fell into a coma because of a stupid drunk driver that was just thinking about himself and not about the lives of the other drivers on the road. It’s been a year since I smiled genuinely and happily to anyone. It’s been a year since I started skipping meals and not eating, it has also been a year since I stared having nightmares about how the next day I would walk into the hospital greet the nurse and doctors with a fake smile then walk into ____’s room and hear that noise that symbolizes that she is dead just lying there with no beating heart.

“hello Jackson its so nice to see you here again, here to see _____ I guess?” the doctor with big glasses asked me “yes I am doctor” I replied with my fake smile walking away “you should smile for real Jackson because I’m sure that the day you walk into _____’s room and she see you looking at her with that fake smile she will not be happy.

As I walked towards her room my heartbeat fastened oh how scared I was to open that door only for my nightmare to come true I didn't want that to happen. Slowly opening the door with the greatest of difficulties I saw her. My angel, my love, my life.

“hey _____ how are you today? Good? That’s good.” I said talking to her like as if she could hear me “I bought you some flowers, today I bought you red roses….do you know what red roses mean? You should because you always  wanted to be a florist, every night before you went to sleep you would read that book about the different types of flowers. how I miss seeing you with your goofy smile that always made me smile” I bitterly smiled slowly holding her hand

“red roses stand for eternal love, meaning that my love for you will never die. And your probably wondering why I bought you fake red roses and not real ones? Well its because even though red roses stand for love that never ends, i'm sure these roses won’t stay alive very long.” I put the flowers into the vase. I walked to the window

“lots of people would like you to wake up right? You know that don’t you?” I asked her looking out of the window “you know I had that dream again…..the one where I will walk into the hospital and see you……dead” I looked at her “but you know this dream was a little different, wanna know why? It was because I woke up in the middle of the night not in cold sweat but in happiness, because when I walked into this room right now you were awake sitting on the bed eating your food” I spoke with another fake smile

I stayed there for a few hours talking to ____ and then when it was time to leave I kissed her forehead and left. That same night I sat up awake thinking about how such a strong girl that had already been through so much can be knocked down, put in a hospital bed by a drunk driver.

Once I fell asleep…..

(dream time)

I was walking towards the hospital when something inside my head told me that today was going to be a good day I didn't know why though but I just went with it. when I reached her room I noticed that the room was dark and that the curtains were pulled ‘no no! please god no!’ I thought as I walked towards the curtains and moved them in one swift move. I fell to the floor my nightmare did come true she was really gone! And the hospital didn't even call me to tell me. I walked out of the room to see the other patients and what they were doing, there was one patient that I was close with his name was siwon he came here 3 years ago when he found out that he had cancer.

 Ever since ______ was admitted into hospital I always came to talk to him. I went into his room to talk to him “hey siwon how are you? Its been a long time i'm sorry I was busy with work” I told him as he put his book down and gent