Sehun woke up as the sunlight striking his eyes. He felt heaviness over his head. He tried to move his body but the ache pained him. When he looked around, he realized that he wasn't in his room.
"Don't move too much yet..." An angelic voice suddenly heard
"L-lu.." Sehun moved his body again just to fall back onto the bed
"I told you don't move.." Luhan said as he approached Sehun
Luhan brought a tray of chicken soup and tea for Sehun. He put the tray on the night stand before took a seat beside Sehun. He put his palm on Sehun's forehead
"Your fever is already down. Here.. Drink this.." He said as he offered the tea to Sehun
"What are you doing, Sehun! How could you stay all night long like that! You're ridiculous!" Luhan scolded his boyfriend
"I told you I will stay until you forgive me.. "Sehun said
"Don't you realize, I always forgive you before you ask.." Luhan muttered
It is true. Luhan will always forgive Sehun, no matter what mistake Sehun did. Even sehun did something hurt Luhan, Luhan always forgive him before Sehun ask. Luhan always forgive Sehun even Sehun didn't realize he did a mistake
"What did you say , Lu?" Sehun snapped Luhan from his thought
"Uhm.. I said I forgive you, silly.." Luhan smiled
"Lu.. Listen to me.. I'm sorry for what happened..you know Lu, I love you and always do..I love you .." Sehun cried as he held Luhan's hand tightly
"I love you Lu.. I promise I'll fix these.. Give me time Lu and I promise to tell the public about us.."
Luhan just kept silence. He felt upset, yes. But he loves Sehun. Still, the disappointment after being denied by his own boyfriend hurt Luhan yet.
And Sehun could feel that disappointment.
Sehun cupped Luhan's face as he kissed Luhan's forehead. He looked at Luhan's eyes deeply
"Lu..I'm really sorry.. But.. " Sehun paused
"You know that I - We need to do this for.. For.." Sehun hesitated. He wanted to say that they need to hide their relationship for saving Sehun's career but Sehun was afraid that Luhan would think that Sehun is too selfish
"I know.." Luhan snapped Sehun out from his thought
"I know.. You do this for us.. You sacrifice everything to achieve your career.. I think I should do the same huh?" Luhan forced to smile
Sehun hesitantly nodded
"Lu.. I'm sorry.."
Luhan knew Sehun' apologized sincerely. Not only this time, but every apologies Sehun said to him are sincere.
Like when Sehun apologized for suddenly canceling their dinner date. Like when Sehun apologized for forgetting their anniversary. Like when Sehun apologized for went to Japan for shooting while Luhan fell sick badly in his little apartment.
Luhan knew that Sehun apologized sincerely. No matter how many times Sehun did mistakes , Luhan knew that he will always forgive Sehun. Even a little voice in his mind ordered him to hate Sehun.
But Luhan loves Sehun not with his mind, but with his heart..
So no matter how Luhan really wants to throw his anger, Luhan could only say:
"It's okay Sehun.. I understand.."
Sehun hugged his little lover. He feels so lucky for having such a loyal lover with a very big love for him. If only Sehun could love Luhan as big as Luhan does...
"So.." Sehun said as he pulled from the hug
"Can I take you for a walk as my apology?" He added
"After what happened in the cafe,you still dare to walk with me, Mr. Idol?" Luhan joked
"Luuuu..." Sehun whined as his little lover just chuckled after teasing him
"Okay.. Okay.. We'll go out but we have to be more careful..." Luhan warned
Sehun nodded
"And there's one more thing that you have to do.."
"what is it my dear deer?"
"Apologize to Kai..."
***
No.. I don't want to apologize..
I've tried to hold my anger toward Kai but last night, Kai was already over the limit. I've been trying to hide my jealousy over Kai. I tried to keep smile when Kai teased Luhan.I tried to joke away when Kai acted so romantic to Luhan.
***
Sehun always tries to keep calm when Kai quietly still showering Luhan with his lovely attentions. But last night, when Kai kissed Luhan and pretended to be Luhan's boyfriend, Sehun was very mad.
Sehun knows Kai likes this moment
Sehun knows Kai has been waiting this moment
Sehun knows Kai loves Luhan... From a very long time...
***
Sehun remembered the first time they met Luhan.
Luhan was the new student in Sehun and Kai's high school. Once they laid their eyes on Luhan, they knew a wave will shock their friendship. Why? Because when they heard Luhan's soothing voice as he introduced himself in front of the class, the best friends felt something flutters in his heart.
No one knew who was the first person fell for Luhan. But Kai was the one who started showing his interest to Luhan.
.
.
.
Sehun and Kai just walked home from school when they heard a scream from the abandoned park near them. They ran to find out the owner of that voice. How angry they were when they saw a bunch of jerks tried to violate Luhan
Sehun and Kai directly ran to save Luhan. Sehun picked a thick branch on their way to those jerks. Kai and Sehun fought them and made them runaway. Sehun hit the last jerk hardly with the branch. He wanted to throw the branch and wanted to check Luhan.
Oh how Sehun wished he didn't need to turned back when he saw Kai hugged Luhan,comforted the crying boy. Sehun just gripped the branch tightly until it broke into two. He chose to turn away as Luhan snuggled deeply into Kai
Sehun just started to walk when Kai called
"Sehun let's bring Luhan home first.."
"You go by yourself... I'm tired..." Sehun said coldly
"What??" Kai a bit startled hearing Sehun's sudden cold tone
Sehun sighed before turned to Kai and Luhan
"You can go by yourself.. I need to go somewhere.. See you tomorrow at school.." Sehun waved goodbye and walked again
"W-wait.." Luhan stopped Sehun's feet
Sehun pretended to be uninterested as he faced Luhan
"T-thank y-you..." Luhan said softly between his son
"Just make sure you don't act stupidly like this again.. Walking alone in such dangerous place.. Are you out of mind?" Sehun mocked
Luhan just gasped hearing Sehun's coldness to him.The tears that just stopped rolling, started to roll again
If only Luhan knew that Sehun was also crying when he saw Kai hugged him and when he pretended to scold Luhan...
.
.
.
Since that incident, Luhan hung around Sehun and Kai. Well, actually it was Kai who invited Luhan to join their friends' circle. And it hurt Sehun more by seeing Kai paid more attention to Luhan. As a result, Sehun had to keep his coldness toward Luhan
Sehun knew Kai had something to Luhan. Once he confronted Kai about it but Kai didn't admit.
"Do you love him?" Sehun directly asked when he caught Kai staring at Luhan
"W-what? H-him? W-who?" Kai stuttered
"Luhan.." Sehun said
Kai gasped when he got caught by Sehun. But he kept calm as he chuckled
"Wow.. This is Oh Sehun... So straight to the point.." Kai tried to joke but Sehun kept his stoic face
"Just admit it, Kai! You show too much affection and attention to him!! What's the meaning of that?"
Kai just sighed as he lost against Sehun's determination
"I.." Kai paused
"I don't know Hun.."
"What do you mean you don't know?!!" Sehun started to feel irritated. Sehun wanted to know Kai's feeling so he could 'take care' of his own feeling
"You're the one who feel it, Kai!!! How do you feel??! What do you feel when you see him?? Do you feel happy near him?? Do you want to have him??"
Because I do feel that, Kai.. Sehun said inside his mind
Kai just kept silence as Sehun bursted out to him.
"I do feel that, Hun.." Kai said
And Sehun's world crumbled. Sehun directly put his head down as Kai continued talking
"I do feel that but I'm not sure whether I love him or not.."
Sehun looked up at Kai confusedly
"What do you mean? Do you mean.. You feel that but you don't love him?" Suddenly a hope came inside his heart
"I don't say that I love him.."
Sehun felt defeated again
"But I can't say that I love him.. Yet.."
Okay.. Sehun was lost of patience hearing Kai's ambiguous answer
"I'm not sure whether what I feel is love or not.. You know I never fall in love before.. So I don't know exactly what is love.. " Kai explained
"that's why I can't say that I love Luhan yet.." Kai kept smiling as he stared at Luhan,who now was also smiling at Kai
Sehun sighed. He lost. Seeing Kai smiled at Luhan and Luhan did the same, Sehun knew that Kai and Luhan loves each other.
Sehun knows what is love. He never fall in love to like Kai. But Sehun knew from his parents. Every night when he was a child, his parents always tell him how they met.. How they fell in love..
And Sehun's parents always reminded him, if he felt that feeling it means he finds his love.
Now Sehun felt that and he was sure he found his true love. Unfortunately, it was not only him who felt and found that love...
.
.
.
Since his confrontation with Kai, Sehun acted more colder to Luhan. Even Luhan always tried to approach him, Sehun gave a cold shoulder. Sehun didn't want that actually. Especially if he saw Luhan's sadness when Sehun ignored him.
But Sehun thought this is the only way to save the three of them. Sehun didn't want to lose Luhan but he didn't want to lose his best friend, Kai, either. Thus he chose to kill his feelings to save them. And the only way to kill his feeling is by ignoring Luhan, making Luhan closer to Kai.
One thing that Sehun didn't know, Luhan hate being ignored..
.
.
.
One day, during the PE class, Sehun say alone in the corner of the gym hall. He stared at Luhan who cheerfully played basketball with his classmates. Kai wasn't there. And it made Sehun a bit happy
Unconsciously, Sehun smiled when Luhan smiled. Sehun kept staring at Luhan lovingly. Sehun smiled but he stopped when Luhan was staring back at him.
Embarrassed, Sehun looked away. When he saw Luhan smiled at him, Sehun directly stood up and walked away from the hall. Sehun walked fast, didn't realize that
Luhan was following him.
"Sehun!!! Wait!!! Sehun!!!" Luhan called but Sehun kept walking
"Sehuuun!!!" Luhan shouted as he ran to catch Sehun
"Sehuuun.. Waiiit..." Luhan grabbed Sehun's hand
Sehun reflex jerked his hand, a bit harsh, from Luhan's grip. Luhan just stepped back scared that Sehun would scold him like usual
Sehun intended to do so, but seeing Luhan's eyes, he lost. Sehun then just sighed and started to walk as he said
"Just go away Lu.."
Sehun walked but stopped when Luhan grabbed his hand again
"Why?" Luhan muttered quiet enough for Sehun to hear
Sehun turned to Luhan. How shocked he was when Luhan saw him with teary eyes.
"Why do you hate me?? Do you hate me that much??" Luhan bursted out
Sehun just kept silence.
"Answer me Sehun..." Luhan pleaded
"Let go Luhan" Sehun said trying to be cold as he also tried to release his hand
"No... No.. No.." Luhan cried harder
"I won't let you go before you tell me!!!" He added
"Why you hate me??! What did I do??! Did I do something wrong?!! Why you always give me cold shoulder??!! Why you hate me-"
"I hate you because I love you, Luhan!!!" Sehun finally bursted out, making Luhan gasped
"I hate you Lu because I love you!! I hate you so much for I can't stop loving you!! I hate you so much because my best friend loves you and you love him back!! I hate you because I lov-"
Sehun stopped when he felt Luhan's lips on his. Luhan kissed him and it took a minute for Sehun to realize that Luhan kissed him. His love kissed him.
Sehun just wanted to lean on the touch of Luhan's sweet lips but Luhan pulled away. Luhan cupped Sehun's cheeks
"I love you too, Hunnie..."
"H-huh?"
Luhan chuckled watching Sehun's expression
"You said you love me.. And I love you too, Oh Sehun..." Luhan repeated
Sehun still kept silence and it worried Luhan
"S-sehun... Say something.. Don't you happy if that I love you? Or.. You.. Y-you really hate me-"
"No... No... No..." Now Sehun's turn cupped Luhan's cheeks to calm him down
"Of course I do... I do feel soooo happy knowing that you love me .. But..." Sehun paused
"Kai..." Sehun added
"What about Kai?" Luhan confused
"He... He loves you Luhan.. Just like me.. He loves you too.." Sehun revealed, making Luhan gasped
"W-what? H-how?"
"Don't you realize.. Kai's attentions.." Sehun gave the clues
"We can't love each other... It will hurt Kai.. And-"
"If we can't love.. It will hurt not only Kai, but you... And me.."
Sehun kept silence as he tried to understand Luhan's words. Luhan was right, whether he loves Luhan or not, still there will be heart that will be hurt.
"We'll find a way to tell Kai... I also don't want to lose him as my friend...let's face it together, okay?"
Sehun nodded as he pulled Luhan into his hug. Sehun buried his nose into Luhan's smooth hair while whispering
"I love you Luhan... I love you so much..."
"I love you too Sehun..."
***
Hello! It's Nana here. A beautiful chapter you just read is worked by Jamie. But she is unavailable now. So i post in in her behalf.
Anyway, you guys knew that she has a health issue right? Well, yeah she undergo surgery last week. She said to me that if the surgery would go success, she will back to normal, as healthy as before. But if the doctor couldn't make it, she would be in comatose. Doctor did their best but we have to accept the worst right?
So, her brother sent me messages last night. He stated that Jamie is in comatoes right now. But seconds before her surgery, she told her brother to contact her friends from AFF. To Park Hana, Hasana, and Izah eonni, she said sorry to you guys bcs she can't continue her story. And she said the same for all her readers too.
Now, let's make a circle prayer for her. For her health, for her best. And hopefully she can be with us again and writes more awesome stories again.
Jamie yaaa we love you girl, please comeback from your sleep :')
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