He felt bad. No, wait, scratch that—bad didn’t even cut it. What Baekhyun felt was something more akin to frustration, a little bit of disorientation and most of all, mindboggling confusion. Not a day went by where the boy’s sudden outburst towards his boyfriend didn’t cross his mind and to be quite frank, it was starting to unsettle him greatly.

To call Jongin’s love, his boyfriend’s love, a burden felt insanely wrong but Baekhyun didn’t know how else to label the feeling that brewed deep in the pit of his stomach at the thought. Jongin was just doing his part, what was natural of him and Baekhyun knew he should be happy—that he should be glad and embrace it with all he had. But no matter how he tried to reason his way around his internal predicament, nothing could erase that nagging feeling lingering in his mind—that seed of doubt that had embedded itself deep in his unconsciousness.

So naturally Baekhyun did the only thing he could do in this situation; Baekhyun decided to stop thinking.

He never did end up telling Jongin about his predicament, and maybe retrospectively he should’ve taken the effort to communicate better in his relationship, but for now Baekhyun brushed everything ill fitting off as trifles that would simply fall into place by themselves if he left them be. Baekhyun never believed in fate but he figured that maybe this time, just this once, he could leave everything in her hands.

Stifling a yawn with one hand, Baekhyun leaned back slightly in his seat at his desk as he stretched out his other arm over his head. The boy scrunched his nose as he heard a crack in his back and—

“Oh! Thank you Byun Baekhyun for ever so graciously volunteering yourself for the job.”

Wait, what?

Hearing his name, said boy snapped up immediately in his seat and shook his head ever so slightly to clear his mind of his previous musings. He glanced frantically around the dull classroom, sharp eyes flickering back and forth until they landed on his teacher at the front, scribbling some words down on a clipboard. The older man looked back up to meet his eyes with a slight smile. “I hope that you and Junmyeon can get along well as partners.”

Baekhyun blinked for a few moments under his teacher’s unnerving gaze before he hesitantly opened his mouth. But before he could voice out what was definitely going to be an embarrassing splutter of a reply, a soft, oddly melodic voice cut in to save him. “Oh don’t worry, we will.”

“Well that’s great to hear. I’ll be looking forward to see the theme you two come up with this year.” The teacher nodded, seemingly satisfied with the short response and turned back towards the white board to resume where they had left off in the lesson.

After he was sure that the man at the front’s attention was fixed back to teaching the main points of the Napoleonic Empire, Baekhyun let himself glance around his room in search of his savior.

Junmyeon, was it? Junmyeon, Junmyeon… Baekhyun was sure he knew who that name belonged to. Well honestly it’d be pretty embarrassing if he didn’t, seeing how they were classmates but the face simply wasn’t coming to mind. Except when his gaze fell over one particular head of creamy blonde hair, Baekhyun suddenly knew he had found his target. Ahh right! That's Kim Junmyeon.

As if sensing a pair of eyes staring intensely at him, the blonde boy gently lifted his head from his neat stack of notes and met steady eyes with Baekhyun's. Feeling a little panicked from being caught so blatantly, the brown haired boy quickly flashed back a hesitant smile and mouthed a bashful ‘thanks’, averting his eyes as he let out a gentle wave from under his desk.

Seemingly amused by the gesture, Junmyeon chuckled into his hand, eyes curving into pleasant crescents before returning with his own discreet wave. Baekhyun hoped that it was in forgiveness for his, well, dumbness because it was blatantly obvious it was to anyone in the room he had no idea what he had just agreed to.

Only realizing now that he and Baekhyun had never once shared a decent conversation together despite being classmates and despite the amicable reputation that Baekhyun had overheard Junmyeon having, the brown haired boy could only hope that his partner for whatever project they were assigned to, really was as kind as patient as everyone said he was.

Needless to say, Baekhyun spent the rest of the period shrinking in his seat to hide his red face from the rest of his classmates and avoiding eye contact at all costs with his new partner.

-

“Hi! Baekhyun, right?” A light voice and a tap on his shoulder startled Baekhyun slightly as he was standing in front of his lockers and in the middle of putting away his books for lunch time. Baekhyun turned around only to come straight face to face with Kim Junmyeon, who was wearing a warm smile and had one hand raised up by his face in a small wave.

“Yeah, that’s me,” now that Baekhyun could see him up close, he realized that the two of them were relatively the same height (actually, he wouldn't be surprised if Junmyeon was wearing insoles but hey, he wasn't one to judge) and that Junmyeon’s eye smile was just as delightful up close as it was from afar.

“So about history class—“

“I’m so sorry!” Baekhyun blurted before he could control himself. Junmyeon blinked a bit at the sudden outburst but at Baekhyun’s frantic look, he nodded and allowed the boy to go on. “I was spacing out and I—well I have no idea what I’m, er, we’re supposed to do.” It came out more of a question than a statement and Baekhyun for the life of him couldn't understand why he was getting so embarrassed over this silly fiasco. Maybe it was his unconsciousness chastising him for making a fool of himself in front of the smartest guy in school or maybe it was just a side effect from all of the confused and jumbled array of emotions he had been feeling those days. Whatever it was, Baekhyun was still surprised that instead of getting upset or frustrated, the boy in front of him merely shook his head and brought the hand that was still raised to scratch the back of his head.

“Hmm, yeah I kind of figured you didn't actually volunteer on your own will so it’s totally fine with me if you don't want to actually be my partner and all.”

“Wait, what is this even for?” Baekhyun had to ask.

“Ah! Right, sorry,” Junmyeon straightened up and brushed out the non existent wrinkles out of his white button up shirt, “it’s for the annual state history fair! You know, usually they pick the top students but this year they decided to let anyone who wanted to volunteer. Well—I guess you didn't really volunteer so… it’s fine… I’m sure I’ll find someone who wants to do it!!” And as he stared at Junmyeon’s face lighting up with a huge, optimistic and oddly puppy like smile spreading over his round face, Baekhyun really didn't have the heart to tell him the truth—that there was no way in hell anyone else would agree to do this with him because seriously, willingly doing extra work while they were already dying because of all the stress of senior year? No. Just no.

However, after a brief internal battle with himself, Baekhyun decided to throw away his sanity (because really, he did not want to do this), shook his head solemnly (because this was the moment he realized that puppies truly were his one true weakness) and placed his hand on Junmyeon’s shoulder. In that moment, Baekhyun decided that no, he could not be responsible for crushing someone else’s dream despite knowing that yes, he would probably regret it. He sighed a deep sigh before muttering, “I guess I’ll do it.”

“Huh?” Junmyeon blinked in surprise, almost as if he thought he had heard wrong, “excuse me?”

“I mean I… want to do it. Yeah, right—totally. Want. To,” Baekhyun enunciated through his teeth, trying to plaster on the most faux cheerful face he could, but of course failing miserably.

Junmyeon furrowed his eyebrows as he shuffled with the books under his arm, “are you sure? Because I’m sure I could find someone—“

“No, Junmyeon, trust me,” Baekhyun’s tone was low in seriousness as he shook his head, “I’m the only one… that you’ll be able to—I mean should do this with.” The only consolation Baekhyun got from his suffering was that at least it brought happiness to someone else (if the smile on Junmyeon’s face was anything less than beaming now) and Baekhyun felt like that was enough for him.

Before any of the two vertically challenged males could say any more, a new voice suddenly cut in. “Um, excuse me.”

Baekhyun’s whole frame shook slightly in surprise as he quickly jumped apart from the boy in front of him, letting his arm fall from Junmyeon’s shoulder. Baekhyun turned to his side, to the source of the voice, only to find Jongin standing there right beside him, heavy backpack slumped by his feet, shoulders squared and eyes brooding with an indiscernible emotion churning within them.

Baekhyun smiled although feeling somewhat uneasy at the heavy expression Jongin’s usually calm features wore. He reached out to lightly place a small hand on his boyfriend’s arm, “oh, Jongin. Did you just get here?”

The tallest of the three let his eyes flicker back and forth between the two in front of him before melting under his boyfriend’s touch, reaching out to grasp his slender hand and pulling him closer to his side. If Baekhyun was suspicious at all at the gesture he didn’t show it, letting Jongin drape an arm around his shoulder and unconsciously trapping him in his embrace. “Yeah…well I was standing there for a little bit but I didn’t want to interrupt; it looked pretty important.”

At that, Baekhyun let out a scoff before elbowing Jongin slightly in the ribcage, “that makes no sense! Next time just jump in like you usually do and—oh!” Baekhyun let out a sheepish laugh as he noticed the two other guys busy staring at each other. “Junmyeon, this is my boyfriend, Jongin,” the brown haired boy gestured with a backwards tilt of his head since he couldn’t really move in his position, “and this,” he gestured with his free hand in front of him, “is Junmyeon although I’m sure you two know each other?” Baekhyun glanced between the two before seeing Jongin nod in affirmation.

“Yeah, I think we’re in the same gym class?”

Junmyeon flashed back a look of recognition and nodded, “yep, that’s right! I’m surprised you remembered me.” The blonde gave the youngest a pensive but appreciative look, which Jongin returned with a nonchalant shrug. Junmyeon took that as a sign for him to take his leave so he turned slightly to give Baekhyun a small wave, “well see you again soon! And oh! I should probably get your number right? That’ll just make things easier for the both of us.”

“Oh yeah, sure!” Baekhyun nodded before shuffling a bit to get his phone only to realize the front pocket of his pants that it was in was smushed against Jongin’s hip. He frowned and elbowed Jongin in the ribs to no effect. The smaller boy elbowed him a few more times, frown deepening into a large pout before the taller relented with a playful smirk and released his boyfriend from his hold. Baekhyun stumbled at bit from the sudden lack of support and shot the younger a death glare before taking out his cellphone and handing it to Junmyeon who already had his own out and ready. After exchanging numbers, Junmyeon left with a quick goodbye and a promise to contact Baekhyun soon. Baekhyun just nodded before he turned back towards his locker to close it and head to the cafeteria, to their usual table, with Jongin.

“So… you know Junmyeon, huh?” Baekhyun peered up at Jongin’s face as he spoke up. The two of them were walking close together, down the crowded hallway and maneuvering expertly between the sea of busy bodies.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. He’s in my history class.”

“You two seemed pretty close,” Jongin muttered, not looking at his boyfriend’s face but at the bright fluorescent lights above them with his hands shoved in his pockets. Baekhyun couldn't help but chuckle at the younger’s behaviour as he shook his head.

“Not really. That was actually the first conversation we’ve had together.”

“And he asked for your number? J-just like that?” Jongin stuttered in what Baekhyun couldn’t tell was if it was real or fake bewilderment.

“Oh don’t be like that!” The elder laughed and slapped the boy beside him who whined at the rough treatment, “it was for academic purposes.”

“I’m sure.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Baekhyun made a show of rolling his eyes but smiled secretly to himself because sometimes the things that Jongin did were just too precious. Like right now as he looked at his boyfriend pouting—he looked like a puppy, and we all know how Baekhyun just couldn’t resist puppies. Actually, maybe Monggu was the reason he’d agreed to hang out with Jongin all these years…

Before Baekhyun could get lost again in his silly thoughts, he was brought back to Earth by the feeling of a large hand running down the length of his arm and intertwining their fingers as they reached the end.

All Baekhyun could think about after that was how strong and warm Jongin’s hand was compared to his.

-

It happened a few days after their first official encounter; Baekhyun was simply lying in bed, doing a little bit of reading over the weekend when he saw his phone light up in the corner of his eye. Groaning a bit internally, the boy bookmarked the page he was on before rolling over lethargically to grab his phone and unlock the screen. He had been expecting a random text from Jongin saying a simple ‘sup’ or maybe ‘taemin tripped me in dance today. again. \(ㅠ^ㅠ )‘ but to his surprise, it was from Kim Junmyeon.

Hey, Baekhyun! It’s Junmyeon! How about we meet up after school on Monday to work on the project? If you can’t, it’s fine but text me back the times you are free :)

Baekhyun pursed his lips and thought for a moment. Well, usually Jongin would take him out for ice cream on Mondays to cheer him up at the start of each week but he supposed it’s not like it was that important. Jongin would understand. Baekhyun nodded to himself; Jongin would understand. The boy pushed up the large framed spectacles that were sliding down his nose before texting back a reply.

hi! monday sounds good ^^

see you at the library

-

The bell rang, signaling the end of class and the end of the school day. Baekhyun stretched up in his seat (but this time making sure his arms were nowhere close to extending over his head; he was still traumatized from last time) and packed up his books. Walking down to his locker, he tried his best to not feel disappointed at the prospect of missing ice cream for even more homework than he ever wanted. But if Junmyeon and him finished up early, maybe he could swing down to the ice cream parlor by himself. Sure, he would be alone but that was a small price to pay for his weekly sugar fix.

However, it seemed that there was one minor detail that Baekhyun forgot to take care of because when he rounded the last corner he suddenly realized that oh ! He forgot to tell Jongin.

Low and behold his boyfriend was there as he always was, leaning beside his locker with his backpack slung over his shoulder and fidgeting with the fraying hem of his jacket sleeve. A wave of guilt hit the elder but he swallowed it down quickly. Jongin would understand, he repeated to himself internally. But for some reason as he got closer and closer, the more nervous he felt.

Upon finally noticing his smaller boyfriend approaching, Jongin instantly stood up taller and visibly brightening up, which did nothing to quell Baekhyun’s anxiousness as he all but stumbled over to his place by the younger’s side. Baekhyun put his stuff away at an agonizingly slow pace as he bit his lip in an attempt to figure out how to break it to Jongin.

Apparently he was being a bit too slow because the next thing he knew, Jongin was grasping his arm and tugging on his sleeve incessantly. “Come on Baek! Hurry up! I heard that there’s a new flavour coming in today from the—“

“Actually, Jongin,” Baekhyun cut him off, closing the metal door and dropping his gaze to the floor, “I can’t go today. I, uh—I have to study.”

The tugging paused, “oh.”

Baekhyun’s bottom lip must’ve turned red by now from his gnawing. “Yeah... I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you earlier but I just realized today and I didn’t have time and—“

“Hey, hey, it’s ok,” Jongin stopped him in his ramlbing and tried to smile in response but that only made him feel worse.

“I’m really sorry!!” This time Baekhyun turned to face the younger and slapped his hands together in front of his face, “you can go by yourself if you want. I don’t mind!”

But all the tanned boy did was shake his head before reaching out to ruffle his boyfriend’s hair, “nah. You know I wouldn’t want to go without you; I’ll just head home.”

“Then we can go together tomorrow! I promise I’ll make it up to you.” Baekhyun dared to open his eyes a sliver to gauge the reaction of the boy in front of him only to see Jongin’s face lifting into an amused sort of expression.

“Seriously, Baek, why do you look so horrified? If you say tomorrow, then tomorrow is good. I’m sure Mr. Lee will make sure to save some of his new ice cream for us anyways,” he finished off with a wink that instantly melted Baekhyun’s worries.

“Ok, tomorrow it is then!” Baekhyun affirmed as Jongin took a peek at his watch.

“Alright, well I better let you go study now. You better ace whatever this is you’re studying for if it postponed our date,” Jongin ordered in a playfully stern tone before ruffling the shorter’s hair one last time and turning to leave. But before he could get far Baekhyun suddenly reached out and grasped his arm, stopping him in his spot. Jongin turned his head around in question only to see his boyfriend’s face covered in a deep blush and deftly avoiding meeting his eyes.

“Oh and Jongin?”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks for understanding,” and with that, the shorter placed both hands on Jongin’s shoulder while using it to lean up and press a small kiss on his lips.

But just as quickly as it had started, it ended as Baekhyun pulled away and quickly ran away with his face hiding in his hands (actually that was a mistake since he ran into a wall after turning the corner but shhh no one had to know that).

This time Jongin was the one frozen in his spot. Sure over the course of their relationship they had kissed many times, more times than he could count, but it was only a handful of those that he recalled Baekhyun actually initiating. Feeling his face heat up, temperature probably rivaling the sun and colour rivaling a tomato, Jongin lifted a hand to his mouth before walking away, heart filling to the brim with the scent of summer flowers.

Jongin knew that Baekhyun was going to the library to study and Baekhyun knew that Jongin was heading home.

But what Jongin didn’t know was who Baekhyun would be with, and Baekhyun didn’t know that Jongin made a short stop to the park before he made it back safely.

Author's Note:

1. I am so sorry

2. That Baekhyun running into a wall moment was actually based off a true story when I went to watch his musical LOL he blew a kiss to the audience, got embarrassed (hid his face in his hands), and walked into a wall. Good times. I laughed so hard but no one else seemed to notice?? ((probably cause they were all still freaking out haha))

3. I left this one for last because I really didn't want to dampen anyone's mood... but I offer my deepest condolences to Ladies Code's family, friends, fans and anyone else who is affected. This is such a horrific tragedy... and it hurts, it really does. It's a shock for me personally since I actually saw them not so long ago while on vacation in Korea. In my memory they were so lively and happy but now... #RIPRise and #RIPEunB, you were loved and will be missed deeply