Ah, before you'll leave me... Could you help me for short? :D

Author's more or less thoughtful message
Warning -> bad grammar and many typos that could kill your poor eyes

Hi, before you will read the next chapter (that is really unserious and dorky) I have something important to say. I'm mostly not a serious person but I try to bring this message probably. I've tried to bring a message with this fanfic (I've tried not to write cliche... I've tried..) but I don't know if I succeed to do it lol. So.. Here's another chapter.

Sad violins sound juseyoo ~

Actually, I didn't plan to do this at first but I thought it would be a good thing. I want to speak about being bullied. To be honest, I was never been being bullied in a serious way (being hit, etc.) but I know how to be an outcast. (Even if I don't exactly remember my feelings anymore... I have a memory of a rock) I was 10-12 then. I just could remember that I was all alone pretty much. A loner who everyone bad mouthing about me behind my back. I would be more hurting if they would say everything in front of me, so I was happy they didn't. But it hurt a lot to know that I wasn't accepted as the same person as them. This case actually changed me a lot, because I became more a restrained person. I just didn't speak anymore. Yes, like anymore. I just talked when I really need to answer my teacher. No one would speak with me anyway, then. It was just because I was afraid they would make more fun of me. The old me is still in my heart, though.

I don't know... I think I cried for sometime (or alot?) for being lonely. I really don't know anymore. I forgot about everything like a brainwash, lol. But it's a good thing to forget about it... I feel a little bit uncomfortable saying this, but I had a theraphy some years ago. Not a honest serious theraphy but something like a hypnosis? Well, it was really helpful because I could erase every single pain out of me and I learned pretty much about it. That's why I wanted to share them now. (It's pretty creepy to thing about that again.. Because that hypnosis was a real creep, tho.) If you want to know more about it, google for 'NLP'.

I know that there are many people who are hurting more than me right now. Bullying is a serious thing that could happen very quickly. If you do just something that isn't 'ordinary', everything will go around and then it's the end already. Bullying could change someone's life and maybe could go far as end their life.

I couldn't handle it when I had been in a group and they were talking about someone in a negative way. I need to witness this once in a camp. Actually we should sleep but every girls (except me who pretends to sleep because I was too chicken to stop them) were badmouthing someone behind her back. I don't know much about that person but I felt really bad for her. It couldn't get out of my head because they talked about half hour or so and I had to listen to everything... I really wanted to scream out and shut them up.

You support bullying when you talk just bad about someone. Remember these words. No matter what he or she does to you. No one in this world had done something wrong. Even if, they would have a reason. If it's because their past or maybe even mental sickness (?), there's always a reason why we do something.. Even if they are mean to you, don't be mean back to them. But if you want a happy life, don't live for a revenge. Try to understand them.

Do you hate someone? Why? Even if it's an idol you don't like... Why do you hate them? Do you hate a girl because she's mean, snobbish or too skinny? Or maybe she's just too ugly? Had you ever think about why she's snobbish? Maybe she was once overweight and do over diet because of frustration. And plus, she can't do anything about her look. I mean, it's okay to judge. But don't put bad comments about her/him/who ever. Why don't you cheer her/him/who ever up that she/he/it did a hard work to do diet but it's unhealthy for her? Even if she would be mean back to you, don't care it. Just say your opinion, but in a polite way. Don't hurt that person too much because she/everyone already witness the pain.

You know, someone once said: He, who has a WHY to live for can bear almost any HOW.

I know there are people who ask themselves: Why do I live? Why is everyone mean to me? If you also do that, you in the wrong way if you don't answer the question. Answer it with 'Maybe they are mean to me because they aren't satisfied with themselves. Maybe they are jealous of me. Maybe he was bullied in the past too. Maybe they don't talk to me because they don't want to be an outcast like me and bring themselves down'  Answer it, accept it, feel sorry for that person.

Well, it didn't just work for bullying.

Mothers could be also aggressive if they worry to much. Are you wondering why your mother is so mean to you or why she always yell at you? They don't hate you, in the opposite. They're worried about you (maybe too much?) and lose their temper. If they mocking on you for hanging in front of the computer/TV too much with someone illogical reason, don't be mad at them. They knew what are healthy or unhealthy for you. They just mean for your best.

There was a day, I saw a poll. (I was currently already writing love war, btw) My jaw really dropped.. The question was 'Do you ever think to kill yourself?' I was so surprised and stunned and I was also angry. (So many emotions, daebak) I clicked on 'show results' and it made my stunned even more. 20 voted for yes and 10 for no. I don't know if everyone who would say 'No' avoided to vote because they think it's stupid (like me) and the 'Yes' summary was lager. But it was really sad to see that 20 people want (wanted?) to kill themselves.

I don't know how I should describe 'sad' in another word... Please don't think like that. If you do that, you are selfish. Don't forget the people around you. Imagine how they would react if you would die. And if you think that they wouldn't even care, you are wrong. Your surroundings, families and friends needs you. There are many people who had none of these peoples, feel pity about them.

If you cut yourself, please stop this. I have a friend who cut herself. I told her a serverly time to stop but she just don't listen to me. It really hurt me... And I'm 100% sure that her parents would also be mad at her. Just... If you hurt yourself, everyone who love you will be hurt too. You don't want them to be sad, right? Then stop.

Don't be depressive by yourself, even if there's no one with you. And also, don't be depressive for attention.

If you have no friends, don't hide yourself and be sad around the time. Hard to deny but no one cares if you are sad. Unless your close relationship and families, of course. They even feel sad with you, even if you don't want them to be upset. Remember that you aren't worse than another people. The sorrow and unfairness didn't choose you. You just didn't choose the happiness. 'You can be happy if you choose to be happy.' (Quote by Ryan Higa, btw)

Just be satisfied with what you have. Smile, because you have your siblings, your parents, your surroundings. Smile because you live good life. You have something to eat, you have your computer (or smart phone), you have K-Pop, your bias.... (Even if they are far away...) I know you have a good life if you read this. I mean, you own a computer and/or smartphone... Your familly need to have money to feed you.

There are maaany of things that could make you happy. But many of people ignore them because it's obvious. Take a minute and jot EVERYTHING and EVERYONE (+every moments?) down that make you happy or thankful. Twenty things, at least. (The more, the better) Then, you'll see that your life isn't that bad. (You can write it on the comment if you want. I'd like to see them :D) It don't need to be meaningful, just write everything even if it's nothing much.

You also could write things what makes you happy today!

For example, my happy things for today:
I've got chocolaaaaaate, eating good noodles (chef mom ftw), updates from my favorite FF (TRICE UPDATE, OPPA I LOVE YOU *cough* *innocence smile*), wearing comfortable stuff, dorky friends that makes my day, watching videos of my BTS idiots... etc

It's really short even I could write a huuuuge list for this if I would count of everything that make me happy (In my life). I really don't feel different because I always have a good day, kehehe. But it might help you?

Take a look on your list and be satisfied to have all these. Some people don't even have something that you have...

If you ever feel down, look at your 'happiness list' and try to do something that you like even if you don't feel like it. Turn on the music, dance like crazy in your room! No one would see that anyway, lool ~

I leave you with this weird video that would probably blame my country's music but I feel like dancing now gwhahaha.

Don't lie! You laughed, right?
(dat dance move, tho... yeaahh splash out your iees Nooo don't leave me! I'm not a pedo D:)