Taehyung's P.O.V
[Note: Editing]

A/N: Grey texts are past stories.
 

“Is this gaylord already dead?” Jimin asked, kicking a few times on Jungkook's cheek.

“Damn, we've just knocked him down in five minutes.” Yoongi exclaimed, they ended up cackling, giving high five to each other.

I stood there, panting. I took a deep breath again and gave him a final kick, even if he won't react.

Of course, love didn't exist for me. It did not, it will never do. I didn't need such a thing as love. What was that anyway? Apparently, it should increase happiness. Jesus, this world and humanity really want to tease me, right? It's just a ing something that they invented. It's unnecessary. Everyone who believes in it are jackasses. And mother's love? They just gave birth to their child, nothing more nor less. They wouldn't care about their child just a little bit. They think that babies are the sweetest thing on the world, but once kids grew up, they loose their interest in them. They just wanted to use their child. They had done nothing.

And now this jerk was going to tell me that I didn't know about mother's love. I knew it clearly, it doesn't exist at all. None of these things were real.

I didn't feel a slight bit sorry for him. He could go cry to his mother if he wanted, like he always do in the past. I knew him since a long time, we went to the elementary school together, but he never noticed me. I knew he was an outcast then, because everyone thought that he was weird. I didn't judge him, I felt nothing, I didn't give a care of anything. But sometime I spotted him crying when his mother was picking him up for going home. I had watched how his mother embraced him, comforting him with loveful word and even promised for ice cream if he stops to cry.

These kind things, everything was faked. He was just a wimp, a mother prince.

I clenched my teeth, kicking him harder on his back.

As he just entered in the same the high school as me, I noticed him again. It wasn't that difficult to not remember his face for a reason. I was pretty well know in the school for my basketball skills and also, my gorgeous face. Every girl would go crazy for me... But I never expected that a guy like him would confessed his love to me. I still hated him so much. He got on my nerves. I wanted to see him down.

I noticed him often on the roof top, tearing his eyes out. I liked to see him suffering and crying. Alone. For no reason. Even if I never had thought that he would cry so much. He had a weak heart like a girl and even his appearance alone remind me of a female anyway. I didn't know why I always go to the roof top just for seeing him cry. I thought I would be happy but I didn't smile once. I would just curse him in my mind for overreacting for such a thing.

I had never beaten him so much, but it felt reliefing to let out my anger. It was just... I had that urge for no reason.

“Taehyung!" Jimin suddenly hit my arm, trying to stop me from kicking him more. "Let's get our out of here! Someone's coming!”

I hadn't time for reaction but he was dragging me out of here already. I didn't even understand why he was in rush. What was the problem? If there were a police, we just could tell them that he was collapsed by himself. What ever.

“YAH!!!" I heard someone screaming from the far. To my wonder, it was a girl voice. "I know you all! I'll show you all to the director!!"

“ that ,” I muttered, rolling my eyes. That girl thought she would rule everything. Just show them, I didn't care.

"Mom! I won the first place in basketball! Look I've got a new ball as prize!" I grinned, proudly held my cool new ball up to show my mother who was currently chopping the big piece of meat in the kitchen with his huge, sharp knife. I was very happy that my team really won! I wanted to show it my mom, so she could be proud of me too. I worked hard for this with my friends.

"Didn't I told you to stop it already?" She said, in a cold voice, not even looking at me.

I sank my arms, lowing my gaze in disappointment. "But... I love basketball..." She had told me to stop with sport activities because it would bring nothing. She said, if I wouldn't make myself famous with this, I should stop. But I just couldn't stop because basketball was the only thing that made me fun.

She slammed her knife down, frowning at me. "Why can't you be like your brother? Just stop this unnessesairy things!"

"Mommy..." My tears came because she compared me with my brother Baekhyun again. I just wanted to show her my efforts for winning this. She didn't like me because I wasn't like my brother, who was national-famous for his admirable face and voice. Everyone loved him, he also made us rich. And I had done nothing. No one like me as my brother, no matter what I did.

With a tongue click, she snapped my prize away all of sudden.

"No! My ball!!"

"Repeat why you aren't like your brother!"

I hung my head down, beginning to repeat everything she told me a several times that already got in my head. "I can't sing..." I began to sob, as I slowly realize that I was a nothing. "I have no talent..."

"Right, and?"

"I don't give efforts for anything..." My voice began to crack from my sobs.

"Exactly."

I looked at her again as I finished everything. "Can I please have my ball back?"

She didn't answered and just poked it with her big knife, making it explode.

I flinched at the exploding sound. My heart was thumbing in shock, making me pant out. I yawned in lengt, ruffling my hairs to wake me up a little bit more. With my half asleep eyes, I scanned to every direction to figure out what's going on in the world. I found myself on a bench in front of the director room. Right... I was waiting for someone. Directly, I wasn't waiting for these people because I knew they wouldn't appear but the director ordered me to wait.

I my lip, bumping my head on the wall behind me with closed eyes. I hit my fist on my forehead and growled. This dream... Why do I have this all of sudden? I felt my heart stabbing whenver I thought of that again, what really annoy my . I shouldn't feel bad about that anymore. My heart shouldn't clench, I shouldn't be hurting. I had tried to get over this stupid past. My present was also horrible enough...

My brother Baekhyun was a famous singer, currently. He was some like a kid entertainer as he was ten years old. Everyone knew him, every one adore him. His angelic face appeared everywhere in television. His fame won't break even if he grew up, in the opposite. People told him that he got more handsome and talented from year to year. Sure, they made me also compliments but just if Baekhyun wasn't around me. They would pinch Baekhyun on his cheek, praise him for being a hard worker, talented and a polite kid. And for me, there was just a plain 'You are good looking', nothing more or less. Heh, right. I wasn't that special beside my beautiful face. No one cared for my skills in basketball. Sure, why would they? Basketball it appearently a very silly and bad sport. You couldn't get famous with it unless you are very good. I should be a ing model, they said. Maybe they would force me someday.

I didn't know if everyone tried to speak with me because they was attrached to me or because of my brother. It happened often, if I had a girlfriend, they would dumb me for my oh-so-better-brother. They wanted to get in my house and broke in in his room or something like this, no doubt. What was interessing in his room anyways? Do they want his undies? I gave up with relationships since a long time ago. I didn't even know for what it was good... I had been going out with some pretty girls but I wasn't much since it was just some blank tongue kisses and hot nights. On other days, it would end already.

I crawled my fingers in my hair again, reaching for my phone with the other hand. The phone said 19:29. It was already that late, nice. It seemed as if no one were here anymore. I clicked my tongue, hitting my head on the wall in annoyment. The director told me to wait until my mother would come even if I already exclaimed that she wouldn't even pick up the phone. Now, I hope he saw it now and regret it for not believing me. I had been waiting here for 2 hours after my punishment. Even if I didn't get why we got punished. It was out school, damn it. We didn't fight in school at all, what was the ing problem? I mean, why did they even care for someone like him... Jeon Jung Guk.

I really disliked him for many reason. But if you would ask me, I wouldn't be able to count everything. Maybe it was too much and overhelmed.

As Jungkook confessed to me a long time ago, I thought he would make fun of me. As if I wouldn't reject enough of girls and then he came to me as a shy boy who wasn't even able to look at me in the eyes. I thought he was just acting for being so girl-ish and innocence. But somehow, it seemed also real. I didn't know what it really was even until now. I was very surprised for him doing this because I never thought that the cry-around-boy would have gut to do that. I nearly thought he would really like me for what I am. I was so stupid and thought he wouldn't fell for my face so easily because he was a boy too. Even if I wouldn't like him back, I just wanted to hear something different. But as expected, he came with a blushed cheeks and said he love me because I'm handsome.

I lost my nerves on him. That stupid boy... He probably wanted the di** of my brother too, like everyone else did. Or do I looked like a girl so much?

I let out a long sigh in boredome. I had no idea why I was still sitting here, waiting for my parents even if I see it already that they wouldn't care of my trouble. I would have gone away a long time ago, even if that bold guy forced me to stay here. Maybe I had prayed a slight bit that they would come... At least my brother, since he was already in an adult age to pick me up. I might be thrown away out of this school after all...

Now I realized that I was just dumb and naive. Why did even I do unrealistic hopes?

"Look at me, I'm waiting for my parents for 2 hours ~" I made fun of myself with pitched high voice, tiling my head around. "I could have played with my action figures right now, I'm so mad ~ I should go the the roof top and howl like a baby~"

Gosh. I closed my eyes, stretching my lips as I realized that I was spacing out loud again. I could laugh at myself for being wishful like a child. But what could I do else when waiting?

The door cracked open beside me suddenly. I was too lazy to look and I really didn't care who it was. I just wanted to get out of here.

"Kim Tae Hyung." I heard a male voice speaking, that same old crackling voice that jab painfully in my ears. I knew already that it was the director.

"Mh?" I really wasn't in the mood to looking him in the eyes, speaking politely. But to be honest, I was never in the mood to do it.

"Your parents are not coming. But I alread--"

"Good." I stood up, stretching my whole body, everything out. "Then I can go now." Without giving any attention to him, I already walked off.

It didn't surprise me a little that no one would come... But I didn't know it would be so disapointing.
 

I decided to play basketball to release my bother that currently confused my head. I broke in in the .... and took out a ball. It wasn't that difficult to go in since the door was pretty cracked and old. No one would see me. It wasn't stealing since I wouldn't take it home anyways.

I bounced the ball all the way to the basketball place, while I was texting with my brother even if we didn't talk that much together. We barely communicate with phones. Although I was always the one who began every conversation.

'Where are you? Are you busy?', I sent him a message. I didn't want to hide the fact that I was interested on what he was doing. He was the closest to me out of my family. Just maybe I cared about him a little bit even he didn't want to speak with me so much. I should hate him for having everyone around him but I just couldn't... He was my hyung after all. I just wanted attention from him, at least.
'Why? We're eating sushi in a Japanese restaurant, He answered, not taking much time.'
'Who are with you? Why?'
'Mom, dad and my girlfriend. I wanted introduce her to them. What's with your question?'
I stopped my pace for seconds. They were just eating and didn't come for me? On top of that, they were in my favorite restaurant, eating my favorite food without me. Just for this damn reason?
Have they gotten a call today? I typed the words with light speed
'How did you know? Their phone kept ringing but none of them wants to pick up. Idk. Their faces were pretty annoyed... Did you tried to call them? Just stop it. It slowly annoys me too. Let us eat in peace, dammit.'

Rolling my eyes, I shoved the phone in my pocket. "Well, just have fun..."

I was so sure this would happen, but I couldn't say I wouldn't care. I had enough being ignored from my parents. They treat me as if I wouldn't exist or neither see me as their son. Did they really not care if I'd be thrown out the school? As if they would like to see me on the street, praying for food like a beggar.

I took a deep breath and smashed the ball on the basket without much focus. I pant slightly, my boiled blood flooded on my fist. My mind was overfilled with anger so suddenly. I snapped the ball and slammed again it with all my mind, roaring my lung out.

I had hidden this fact since long, that I wanted attention from my surrounding... Just for a little bit. If they would look at me for once, seeing how I was suffering with all these loneliness. But they were just blinded with all their selfishness. No one had ever taken me in their arm to comfort me. I didn't know what was wrong with me nor why they always kept distance from me. Why are they scared of me?

Why? Did they hate me because I couldn't sing? I chuckled like a maniac and coughed at the same time, stumbling a little bit backward because I was feeling dizzy from all the scream. Right, I wasn't talented so I wasn't worth to be loved. My chuckle grew to cackles. Why would someone love me anyways. Someone scary who liked violence with no heart, no pity to the world. The little cruel Taehyung who didn't give efforts for everything, why would they like someone like this?

I kicked the ball away since this thing won't go in the loop anyways. I lifted my head to the dark sky, blasting out a loud and long 'WHY?!' until I wouldn't feel my breath anymore. I tried to fill my voice on the whole place as much as possible. I didn't care if the whole world would hear this. I fell on my suddenly, laughing, what slowly stole my breath.

I had been going crazy. Why do I even care if they didn't pay attention for me? Do I even need them in my life anymore? When they don't mind me, then I should do the same thing to them... But they are my family. I saw them everyday. Maybe I should just run away someday, seing if they would even miss me. If they want to see me end like a beggar, fine. I'll give them their damn beggar.

I panted as I slowly stopped myself from giggling like crazy, like a maniac. I ruffled my hair, sighing everything out. I felt like crying but nothing would come out, just sobs without tears. I slammed my fist on the bare floor. From one time to servery time, stronger and stronger. My hand was slowly painted in red, filling with pain. My chest felt like someone would stab on it with a knife and I couldn't breath properly.

Why can't I be happy like the others? What should I do that my parents would look at me for once?

I feel like hitting someone. Or maybe myself. This strange feeling made my head more heavier and increased my helplessness. Screaming and hurting myself was no use at all. It was too much of everything. I slowed my hitting on the floor and closed my eyes, exhaling out again. Even if everything attacked on me, I wouldn't't give up until they'll see me rising. I grinned by these thoughts. They will regret what they all did to me. When I'd got all the ability, I will destroy their life all one by one.

In that moment, I felt someone was heading to me as I heard quiet steps.

“Kim Tae Hyung..." I heard a familiar voice speaking. It sounded serious. "I can't do this anymore. Tell me what you want, I'll do everything for you. I'll do your homework if you want! Please stop treating me like this..."

I lifted my head to the voice and found Jungkook standing in front of me, actually 5 meters away. I rolled my eyes, snorting in annoyance. Does he really fear from me? Was I a monster? I didn't care why he was here or if he saw me driving crazy earlier. I was just a little bit confused why he spoke up these words right now. I could sense sterness in his eyes and by his fist. I couldn't see much in the dark but his eyes were quite red, his skin was pale. Crying again?

I found myself smirking, nearly chuckling halfhearted. So, he was still alive. He shouldn't come here when I was in this mood.

I heart him whimpered all of sudden so I decided to stop before It will became too much. I slowly release our kiss and losing my gaze at him. He was pressing his lips, trying to get what was going on. He didn't eyed me once because he was probably embrassed. I just rolled my eyes at this, trying to cover the awkward tension. I didn't know what was with him, but I fought against my heart that was beating to death.

"You know, I still want to hit you..." He broke the silent, hanging down his head to break our gaze.

"Do it. Let it out."

He didn't look at me, but he reached his arm and... poke on me. I couldn't call it 'hit' since I couldn't feel anything but a slight pressure. He slammed his fist on my stomach as if he had no energie on his life anymore. As if he didn't want to hurt me.

I looked aside, being ashamed from his act. "You know what?" I said, gripping his wrist to stop him.

"What." He looked at me, blinking in curiousness.

"I'll buy you steaks, you are ing weak. Maybe I should cook for you too, since you don't seem like to cook."

"You can cook?" He dropped his jaw in astonishment, making me snort.

"A little bit." I shrugged my shoulder. "Take it as an apology... I don't know what I could do." If I had already gone as far as kiss him, I would have no fear to face my guiltyness. I had done so much to him... I wanted to pay it back.

"Take me to school everyday, carry me home when it's dark... Maybe buy me and my mother a new house too. I'd like it with neighbourhood around. Cook for me and my mom everyday, also help me with cleaning, washing clothes... and teach me how to play basketball," He suggested.

"Yah, am I your slave?!" I blurted out with widened eyes.

"You said you wanted to sorry... You nearly broke my bones." He looked at the floor, pounting. Seemed like he was trying aegyo.

I rolled my eyes, sighing. "All right..." I shove my hands in my pocket, began to walk out of here. "But I won't buy a house for you, what the hell."

He followed me, smilling in satisfied. "It's okay. But could you hug me everyday at least?"

"Nah... It's boring."

"Just a hug..."

"See? It's just a hug."

"I would feel good if you hug me once..."

"Boring."

"Hyung!" He exclaimed with whiney voice.

I stopped as he said that word that fluttered my heart somehow. Did he just say hyung? "Say it again."

"Hug me first." He grinned through gritted teeth.

I rolled my eyes, finally giving him his wanted hug since no one could ever reject this face.

"Thank you, hyung." He warped his arms around me and laid his head on my shoulder, enjoying the moment.

I grinned, closing my eyes. He was totally an affection jerk, but it was okay... As long I could make him happy with these. I would never make the same fault and hurt him again. I did too much to him in the past and now I faced my gulityness. I could never forgive myself but as long he wasn't hurt because of me I could live with it.

He showed me that a single 'sorry' and 'thank you' could change someone's heart so much. Just one kind word just can warmth a heart. I couldn't see the main point of hating anymore. I was just jealous because he had someone who cared for him unlike me...

But now, I had someone at least. Even if he would be my only one, I'm going to protect him no matter what reason.

He resqued me out of the war against myself, after all.