Chapter 8

“Do you think I should confess to him?” she asked the next morning during breakfast.

Yongguk was caught a bit off guard by the question. “What?” he asked.

“Should I tell him how I feel?” she asked again.

He grew silent. Is she seriously asking me this right now? “I don't know,” he managed to say. “It's completely up to you.”

Amanda sighed heavily. “I'm just a bit afraid, that's all,” she admitted.

“Which is understandable,” he remarked before taking a sip of his coffee. “But then it's normal since you might get shot down again.” His tone was glum as he clearly remembered the night Ryan had turned down Amanda's dinner invite.

“He had to teach another class,” she defended him. She took another deep breath. “I have another confession to make.”

He stayed silent. He waited expectantly for her to continue.

“I'm kind of afraid of the possibility of losing him to someone else,” she finally said.

He sat up straight, furrowing his brow in confusion. “What makes you say that?”

She took another deep breath, shutting her eyes momentarily before opening them again. “Well, that night, after your photo shoot, I had a talk with Sue,” she began, looking back at him. “You remember her, right? The secretary.”

Yongguk nodded, listening intently.

Amanda sighed. “Well anyways,” she continued, “Ever since she's started working there, I haven't been too fond of that idea to begin with. I mean, I've liked Ryan for a while and I've told her but every time I see them in the room together, I have this gut feeling in the back of my mind that something might happen between them. Like there might be something more than just a working relationship.”

“Manda, you might be over-thinking it,” Yongguk said. “They work together, so it's normal for them to become a bit closer.”

She sighed. “I know but is it wrong of me to not like the fact that he's being extremely nice to her?” she asked. “I mean, Ryan's a really nice guy in general. It's just who he is but it just upsets me when he's being really nice to her.”

Yongguk chuckled. “You're jealous,” he commented.

“Of course I'm jealous!” she exclaimed earnestly. “My crush is being nice to some other girl. I mean, I know it sounds crazy but I feel like I have every reason to be. Wouldn't you feel jealous if you were in my position?”

He snorted. You're one to talk, he thought to himself.

He understood exactly what she meant because he too has found himself in her position. Instead, he was thrown to the sidelines as he watched Amanda fall head over heels for a guy who might not reciprocate those feelings in return. If it didn't work out, Yongguk found himself contemplating whether to make his move or not. It wouldn't be a good idea given the fact that she once jeopardized their friendship over romantic feelings. He knew she wouldn't want to jeopardize it again.

“What's so funny?” she demanded, waking him from his slight reverie.

“Huh?” he snapped out of his thoughts.

“I asked you a question and you just snorted, you jerk,” she snapped. “You know what? I'm not even sure why I'm even talking to you about this. I'll just talk about this with Himchan. Maybe he has something better to say.” She stood up to leave, then proceeded to storm off.

“Wait!” Yongguk called out to her, only to receive a slam of a door as a result. Groaning in frustration, he found himself running after her.

She found Himchan in the living room distracted with his phone, possibly on his social networking sites, as the others gathered around the flat screened TV playing video games. “Himchan,” she called out to him.

He looked from his phone to acknowledge her presence before resuming what he was doing. “Yes?” he sounded a bit annoyed, not that she cared.

“What now?” Youngjae muttered, which earned a snort from Daehyun.

Amanda shot them a look which prodded them to shut up before turning to the younger guys. “Hi guys, how's it going?” she asked.

“Hey, Amanda,” Jongup and Zelo greeted her simultaneously.

Soon, she settled beside Himchan, propping a pillow onto her lap. “I need some advice,” she cut straight to the chase.

He sighed, putting his phone away. “About?” he raised an eyebrow.

“I need some advice,” she told him. “Coming from a guy, such as yourself.”

“Go figure,” he muttered, staring back at her expectantly. “Alright, go on.”

As Amanda was about to begin, the younger guys lowered the volume on the TV to listen. She, however, remained a bit oblivious. “Okay,” she began, “So as you know by now, I like Ryan.”

He snorted. “That's news?” he sarcastically remarked.

Amanda gave him a look. “Can I continue?” He slumped back against the couch, waiting for her to continue. “Well anyways, I've noticed that he's being overly nice to Sue. You remember Sue, right?”

“The secretary?”

Amanda nodded. “Okay so tell me why I get this unsettling feeling in my stomach whenever I see them being overly friendly and playful with each other?”

“You're jealous,” he bluntly stated.

“Well, of course!” she exclaimed earnestly. “I have every reason to be.”

“And, what's your point?” he turned to face her.

“Well, my question is,” she paused. “Is it wrong of me to feel jealous?”

He gaped at her in astonishment. “Are you really asking that?” he asked incredulously.

“Ahem,” Daehyun cleared his throat. “That's exactly what she's asking, hyung.”

“Why? What's wrong with that question?” she asked defiantly, turning to face the others.

“You know what?” Youngjae impatiently chimed in. “Let's just skip the lecture and jump straight to the point.” He glanced over his shoulder towards Amanda. “Well—“ The door flew open with Yongguk storming in.

The room shifted their attention over to their leader. “Seriously, Bang, you have like the worst timing ever!” Amanda exclaimed in aggravation.

“Are you two mad at each other?” Daehyun asked, glancing from Amanda to his leader.

“No—yes,” Amanda and Yongguk replied at once. She shot him a glare. He shot her an apologetic look in return.

She sighed in frustration, turning to the other guys. “COULD YOU GUYS JUST JUMP STRAIGHT TO THE POINT INSTEAD OF BEATING AROUND THE BUSH ALREADY?!” she snapped, startling the everyone else.

The whole room grew silent.

Now that she garnered everyone's attention, she cleared . “Tell me,” she said, fiddling with her fingertips. “Am I being crazy?”

The whole gaped at her. You're already crazy, they wanted to say but decided against it since Amanda was pretty scary when she's angry. “No—not at all,” they murmured.

“So I have a right to feel jealous?” she asked again.

“Yes—yeah,” they nodded.

“Well, you like him,” Youngjae pointed out. “So of course you have every right to feel upset. Does he know you like him?”

Amanda blushed, looking away sheepishly. “Well, I thought I gave him enough hints already,” she said, chuckling nervously. “But I told Sue for sure.”

“What did you say exactly?” Youngjae asked cautiously.

She took a deep breath. “Well you know that day you guys had the photo shoot at the gym? I stayed behind when you guys left?” she reminded them. They simply nodded. “I may have had a bit of a heart to heart with her.” She paused before continuing. “I was direct and told her how I felt about the possibility of something blooming with her and Ryan.”

The whole room grew silent. “And what did she say?” Daehyun asked, breaking the abrupt silence.

“She just laughed and assured me that nothing was going to happen,” she finally said. “Not to mention, I may have told her that if Ryan were to ask her out and she likes him, she had every right to say yes only because we're all adults and we can do whatever the hell we want. And besides, I really don't want to be that kind of person.”

“What kind of person?” Jongup asked, scratching his head in confusion.

Amanda sighed, turning to the 4D dancer. “Well, Jongup,” she began, “I don't want to be the type of person who come between two people who clearly like each other. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?”

He took a moment to consider her words before nodding. “Well, if you feel that way, then maybe you should do something about it,” he advised her.

“What do you mean?”

“You like Ryan, right?”

She nodded.

“If you like him, then you should swoop in and tell him before it's too late,” he finally said.

“Wow, it's like the Wi-Fi in his brain just ,” Yongguk remarked.

Amanda hurled the pillow in her lap over at him. Yongguk dodge it with ease, glaring back at her. Watch it. “You know,” she turned to Jongup. “You're right. I'll do it!”

“Right on!” Jongup exclaimed, grinning widely.

Immediately, she got up to grab her bag. “Wait, where are you going?” Daehyun asked.

“I'm going to go tell him how I feel!” she exclaimed excitedly.

“Are you sure that's a good idea?” Youngjae asked worriedly.

“Of course it is!” she huffed. “Now I don't want to waste any time so wish me luck!” She slipped on her shoes.

Their eyes widened. Is she really going through with this right now? The boys all knew it wasn't a great idea. “Wait—“ Himchan stood up to call after her, only to receive the slam of the door in return.

“Isn't it too soon?” Zelo finally asked.

“Should we go after her?” Jongup perked up.

The whole room turned their attention to Yongguk and Himchan. Both best friends glanced at one another knowingly before shaking their heads. “We'll just have to wait and see,” Himchan finally said, speaking for the both of them.

Once they were alone, Himchan took the opportunity to confront Yongguk. “Why didn't you stop her?” he demanded.

Yongguk sighed, knowing full well where this conversation was going. “I can't,” he said.

“You can't or you won't?”

“It's complicated, Himchan,” he finally said.

Himchan scoffed. “How is it complicated?” he asked. “Cut the bull, Yongguk. I know you like her, so the least you could have done was be a man and tell her how you feel. Keep her from making a huge mistake. It's not too late, you know.”

Yongguk took a moment to consider Himchan's advice. He was right, but another part of him didn't want to jeopardize what he and Amanda already had. They were good friends as it is. And she jeopardized their friendship once before and now he's found himself at the other end of the barrel. He now understood what she went through when she had those romantic feelings for him. Now, those feelings were long gone. For now, he decided to wait and see, brushing off Himchan's advice.