9: THE PLEA BARGAIN

Donghae pulled his glasses off and rubbed at his tired eyes. Although he had slept longer than he had in a while, he still felt tired. It was what several hours of work on his feet caused especially two days in a row.

He planted his feet firmly on the ground and raised his arms high above his head. He waited for the familiar cracking sound of his left shoulder before bringing his arms down. When he was ten, he had fallen while roller skating at a cousin’s birthday and had dislocated his shoulder. To this day, it still made a popping sound when he stretched it too far.

Once he stretched out his legs, he leaned forward in his desk chair to look at his computer screen once more, but the bright light made him squint and want to turn away as his eyes were still getting adjusted to being awake. Nevertheless, he remained mostly focused and stared intently at the instant messenger client again, waiting for Eunhyuk’s reply to appear.

He reread Eunhyuk’s messages feeling a slight flush form on his face and wave of nausea come through as he reexamined the last line.

“I’ll be waiting.”

He smiled to himself. Donghae knew had no right to be doing that. He could picture the glare and scowl on Eunhyuk’s face as he waited by his computer waiting for Donghae’s reply.

He wasn’t an idiot; he knew precisely what Eunhyuk wanted to discuss. The boy had wanted out of this arrangement since Donghae had first concocted the whole scheme. Still, Donghae didn’t want to have this conversation because he knew that he might concede to Eunhyuk’s request as the guilt was starting to eat at Donghae’s conscience. However, before he could begin to let his mind run wild, his cell phone began to ring behind him.

He quickly stumbled out of his computer chair and over to his bed, tripping over a pair of gaming headphones that had fallen to the floor. He grabbed the ringing device to silence it. However, he was surprised to see Eunhyuk’s name flashing on the screen. He nearly dropped the phone before sliding his finger across the screen to answer.

“Hello?” Donghae groggily greeted as he took a seat in the middle of his bed. Sleep had not yet fully left his body.

“Did you just wake up?” Eunhyuk asked. It was clear that he had been awake for quite some time already.

“Yeah. About a minute or so before I replied back to your message.”

“It’s almost 1 in the afternoon.” There was a tone of incredulity in Eunhyuk’s comeback; Donghae chuckled silently to himself. The other boy was combative right from the get-go—as he had expected.

“Yeah, what’s it to you? The weekend is for relaxing. I go to school and work part-time. Remember? That place where I caught you stealing!” Donghae argued in return. He stood up and began to pace in the middle of his room. Despite not being fully awake, Donghae too was ready to fight. He shuffled his feet as he waited for Eunhyuk’s response, knowing full well he was most likely to be insulted.

“I remember, jackass.”

Donghae laughed as he could tell Eunhyuk had answered through clenched teeth; he liked getting under the other’s boy’s skin. As much as Donghae felt guilty about the current situation, he couldn’t help but be thrilled by the fact that he was talking with Eunhyuk. This was now the third day in a row that he had gotten the opportunity to speak with the pouty-lipped boy of his fantasies, and despite how they had arrived at this point, Donghae was happy.

“What was it that you wanted? You know besides wanting to hear my beautiful voice again,” Donghae teased as he took a seat back on his bed and laid back to stare up at his ceiling.

“Whatever!” Eunhyuk quickly replied. “Beautiful voice, my .”

Donghae softly laughed in response. “We can do a video call instead if you want to see my face.”

“Hard pass on that one, .”

“What did you want?” Donghae asked again, scoffing at Eunhyuk’s dismissive remarks.

“I’m nervous,” came the soft reply on the other end. The quiet whisper surprised Donghae to the point where he moved the phone away from his ear and stared at the screen. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard and who had said it. He had to remind himself that it was actually Eunhyuk on the phone.

“What?” It was all Donghae could say as he brought the phone back to his ear. Anxiously, he waited for the other boy to repeat himself.

“I’m nervous,” Eunhyuk said, only slightly louder than he had originally had before. “I—I—I’m
really, really anxious about tomorrow and about this whole stupid thing.”

Donghae let out the breath he was holding as the pang of guilt hit him like a storm. With how fiercely Eunhyuk had replied back to Donghae’s snarky remarks beforehand, this was not what he was expecting. Not at all.

Eunhyuk’s words were honest, and the dread was evident in his tone. Only a few moments ago, Donghae had felt happy about everything going on and the fact that he was getting to talk with Eunhyuk again. Right now, the guilt was starting to eat away at his conscience again, and it was making him nauseous. His eyes shifted across his ceiling to his computer screen and then back to his ceiling as he tried to breathe through the wave of nausea. He had no idea how to respond, but he knew he had to otherwise he would have to hear that quiet, desperate tone again.

“I understand.”

And he did. Donghae fully understood why Eunhyuk was worried. While Donghae was getting a pretend boyfriend/friend out of this situation, Eunhyuk was essentially committing social suicide, to put it simply. He was potentially giving up the comfort of his social status, his friends and any sense of safety he had gained by not telling those around him that he was gay.

“If you understand, then why are you making me do this?”

“Because for once in my life, I’ve decided to be selfish,” Donghae answered honestly. The least he could do was be forthright with Eunhyuk. “I'm being selfish and greedy about what I want. However, I’m also thinking about you and your life.”

“Excuse me?” Eunhyuk snapped in disbelief at what Donghae was telling him. “Thinking about me? How? You’re about to ruin my life!”

Donghae could hear Eunhyuk moving on the other end of the line. He could distinctly make out the sounds of pillows hitting against a wall and something being kicked across the floor. The thud it made echoed in his ear.

“I am. You’re not happy. We’ve talked about this before. You’re miserable. Any person, anyone with even a speck of empathy could see that.”

“You don’t know a damn thing about me, Lee Donghae. You assume you know about me since you say you’ve been watching me for years like a ing creep.”

Donghae was taken aback by the comment. It wasn’t untrue, but he felt slightly embarrassed by the fact that he had let Eunhyuk know that he had been observing him for a while now. However, it didn’t make what he had said untrue. Though he was choosing to be selfish—he was quite delighted to be in this situation—he was also doing this for Eunhyuk. It was clear as a day that the other boy was going through the motions every day. He was suffering because he was too afraid to be himself. Donghae had been watching him long enough to know when the boy’s smiles were real and when they were fake. The difference was staggering, and the fact that others hadn’t noticed was telling all in itself.

“I didn’t watch you like a ‘creep.' I merely observed you since you sit directly across from me,” Donghae tried to defuse the situation. “Regardless of that, can you honestly tell me that you’re happy? Genuinely happy?”

“Who cares?”

“I care!” Donghae argued. “Are you honestly okay with having to hide who you truly are? Why would you choose to live a lie? Isn’t that stressful? Lying to everyone around you. Never being honest with them or yourself. How are you so sure that no one would catch you eventually?”

“I told you that it isn’t any of your business. Why the do you care so much?”

Donghae flippantly scoffed at Eunhyuk. “It’s my 'business' now. Get over it! I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

Eunhyuk muttered angrily. Donghae could hear him throwing things around his room. The sounds caused Donghae’s to hold his breath for a few moments as he tried to process what to say next to ease the some of the tension coming from Eunhyuk.

His classmate was livid, and Donghae found himself afraid to speak up as he heard the heavy breathing and commotion on the other end of the call. Usually, he would just say something sarcastic to annoy Eunhyuk and get him to talk, but he could tell that this was not the moment for a cheeky comment.

“Look,” Donghae quietly interrupted the flurry on the other end of the call.

“I get it, sort of. Actually, I don’t. Let’s be honest. I have no idea what you must be feeling because I’ve never found myself in this situation, but I’m trying to help. You won’t have to lie anymore. You don’t have to hide and pretend like everything is okay.”

“Again, with this ,” Eunhyuk argued morosely. “Stop trying to be my savior. I didn't ask for this. Just let me live my life the way I want to. Who are you to judge me?"

"I'm not trying to be your 'savior.' I'm just trying to help you. I’m trying to be a good person."

“A good person? Help me?” Eunhyuk scoffed. “Seriously. Do you hear how ridiculous you sound? Or did you forget that you’re ing blackmailing at the moment? A good person wouldn’t hold someone thing over someone the way you are right now.”

Donghae cleared his throat as he listened to Eunhyuk. Each of them was correct, although Donghae was sure most people would side with Eunhyuk’s point of view in this situation.

“While my method is unconventional, I am still trying to help you out. Sincerely, I am.”

Donghae heard Eunhyuk sigh heavily. He could tell that the fight was starting to leave Eunhyuk as he realized how truly stuck he was in this situation.

“Please.”

It was barely a whisper, but to Donghae, it sounded as loud as a trumpet blaring right in his ear. All the blood rushed to his ears as Eunhyuk spoke up again.

“Donghae, please.”

Donghae closed his eyes as he pressed the back of his head into his pillow. He knew he should stop this charade, that there was a lot at stake for Eunhyuk, but his selfish desires to get to be around Eunhyuk every day until graduation was much stronger than the guilt he was feeling.

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Donghae was lonely. He was good at masking that feeling with sarcasm and snarky remarks, but deep down, he was lonely, and he was tired of being seen as a bit of a social pariah. He was exhausted by the cutting remarks from his brother and Kyuhyun about his social life.

“I can’t.”

“Donghae please,” Eunhyuk pleaded and again Donghae was hit with shame. He opened his eyes as he pulled the phone away from him. He muted his line as he took a deep breath; he didn’t want Eunhyuk to hear him. He didn’t want to instill false hope in the other boy because Donghae was determined to have this happen.

He wanted this. At this point in his young life, he needed it.

“Donghae?” Eunhyuk asked becoming aware that Donghae had remained silent. Immediately, Donghae unmuted his line.

“Eunhyuk, I’m sorry. I know you’ll hate me the entire time, but I can’t. It’s not fair to either of us.”

“Huh?” Eunhyuk was confused. “What do you mean this is not fair to you? What does this even have to do with you? It’s not going to negatively affect you.”

“I’m not going to explain myself, not now at least,” Donghae replied. He would eventually work up the courage to tell Eunhyuk that he was lonely and this opportunity was much more than just pretend for him. He wanted a friend, even a fake one for now.

“If I reveal to your friends that you attempted to steal the shirt but failed, they’ll laugh at you, and until you actually do it, they’ll never let you live it down. And then what happens? You shoplift in a different store, but this time you get caught by security? They’re not going to let you off the way I have.”

“You haven’t let me off, Donghae,” Eunhyuk pointed out. “Or did you forget what’s going on right now?”

Donghae shook his head and stood up. He needed to move, or he was going to bend to Eunhyuk’s pleas. He began to pace the length of his room while running his hand through his hair. He immediately missed his long hair which he’d be hiding behind right now if it were still that length.

“I have let you off. Trust me! I saved you,” Donghae defended himself as he got ready to fight dirty for the remainder of this call. “If any of my coworkers had caught you or my manager, you’d be in a way bigger mess than you are right now. They would have alerted the authorities and ultimately your parents. You would be saying goodbye to your trip to Paris.”

Eunhyuk gasped, and Donghae knew that his argument had been sound. He was cognizant that mentioning the Paris trip would be the defining point that would drive the case home for his classmate. It was manipulative, and Donghae knew it, but the other boy was known for playing things in such a manner with other people. He really was only playing the same game to get his way and hold Eunhyuk accountable.

“We can stop this whole thing right now, but I will tell your parents about what happened.”

Donghae’s eyes widened as he stopped pacing in the middle of his room. He couldn’t believe what he had just said, what he had just threatened. He knew it was downright cruel to intimidate Eunhyuk in such a way. It was evident this trip was something important to him, and Donghae in no way wanted to interfere with that.

“You wouldn’t!” Eunhyuk flippantly replied or at least he sounded that way. Donghae knew it was all false bravado.

“You should know by now that I would.”

His retort was stern, but Donghae knew that he would never do it. He would never do that to Eunhyuk, but the other boy didn’t know that. From their short encounters over the past 3 days, Donghae really hadn’t presented himself as the most aggregable person so he was positive that Eunhyuk would believe his bluff.

“I hate you.”

Defeated.

Eunhyuk was defeated, and while Donghae should consider it a victory, those three words hurt him to hear despite knowing that he deserved them—that he deserved much worse.

Neither of the two spoke for a short while after the comment. The statement hung heavy in the air.

“I will see you tomorrow,” Donghae broke the deafening silence. Eunhyuk simple sighed before quietly replying with an “okay.”

“Where should we meet?”

“I’ll text you the place I meet with Sungmin every morning.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Eunhyuk concluded and disconnected the call.

Donghae took a seat back in his computer chair and stared at the now black screen of his phone. He felt horrible, downright awful. He had already been feeling guilty about the whole thing before the call while there was still an underlying sense of glee about the situation.

But now, now he just felt worse person ever. He was condemning Eunhyuk to this arrangement for the remainder of their senior year and life was about to change drastically for him and most likely not in a good way.

Definitely not in a good way, he thought.

Donghae chucked his phone onto his bed in frustration and turned around to face his computer, moving the mouse to wake the screen up. He was going to try and ignore this uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. However, the first thing he saw when he logged back into his computer was that the instant messenger was still on the screen and that instead of texting him, Eunhyuk had merely messaged him the meetup location.

hyuk0404: In front of the ice cream place next to the main park entrance.

l.donghae: Thanks. See u then.

His message went unanswered, but Donghae really wasn’t expecting a reply. If the situation were reversed, he wouldn’t respond either. If he did choose to answer, it would probably be an expletive-laced response telling the other person to take a long walk off a short pier. 

Donghae closed the chat window and quickly went on to check his favorite sites as he looked at the time.

In less than a day, everything was going to change.

Thank you to all of you who have been reading since the beginning (a million years ago) or just discovered the story.

I'm incredibly grateful to you all! ^-^

My job is crazy demanding, but recently my new role has me traveling a lot less so I have much more free time than before so I will be actively posting now that I have time to sit down and write. 

You can also find this story on AO3 as someone on Tumblr messaged me about posting it over there as well.

Again, I thank you all for your patience. 

❤ our_ballad