However, today it did nothing to appease his anxiety. He was trying to keep from thinking about Eunhyuk and the afternoon they'd spent together, but he couldn't. The changing sky only served to remind him that Saturday was almost over and that his and Eunhyuk’s “relationship” was soon to start.

There was only one more day before the whole charade was supposed to begin and the thought horrified Donghae. It made his stomach turn as he wondered what kind of disaster Monday would turn out to be.

He tried to distract himself, pulled his mp3 out, and began to play his music loudly. Even with guitars blaring loudly in his ears, it failed to take his mind off things. Frustratingly, he yanked the headphones out and opted just to listen to the sounds of the bus and the passengers.

Much to his chagrin, the commute was quiet. The three other people on the bus were silent, with one of them, actually asleep across a row of seats.

The silence just made things worse.

It was as if his thoughts were even louder, making him even more nauseous. The knot in his stomach was unbearably tight; nothing seemed to calm his nerves.

Though Donghae argued with himself that he was justified in all of this nonsense—he wasn’t the one who tried to steal a shirt. It still didn't stop him from feeling slightly guilty about everything he was doing to Eunhyuk.

“Blackmail,” he whispered to himself.

He was blackmailing Eunhyuk, no matter how hard he tried to sugar coat it by calling it an arrangement.

Even if no money was being exchanged between the two parties, it was still blackmail. In this case, the currency was Eunhyuk’s popularity and most likely his comfortable lifestyle for the rest of the school year or much more.

Thinking about how their classmates would react made Donghae’s stomach turn again. He leaned forward in his seat to keep from throwing up the coffee he drank earlier. He could feel it rising in the back of his throat; it stung.

This anxiety was a foreign feeling.

Donghae usually wasn't one to care about what people thought. His classmates barely acknowledged his existence, but after tomorrow, everything would change, and he was positive that it wouldn't be for the better.

But only time would tell.

That was the only way he could relatively calm himself down.

Donghae found himself so lost in his worries that he nearly missed the stop to transfer to his next bus.

“Stop the bus!” he shouted. It caused the bus driver to slam on the brakes.

Donghae lurched forward a few feet toward the front of the vehicle and strained to hold on to the poles so as not to fall on his face.

Met with the disgruntled murmurs of the other passengers, the driver even glared at the teen as he made his way off the bus. Typically, Donghae wouldn’t have cared, but today, he was compelled to apologize to everyone.

Donghae shook his head to clear his thoughts. His mind was cloudy; he was stressed out as he walked down the street to wait for the bus that would leave him close to home.

He grimaced and hunched forward to avoid getting whiplashed by the cold winter winds that had gotten worse at this time of day. He instantly missed his long hair that used to provide a bit more of a shield from it.

The sky was now dark.

Again, Donghae was reminded that the end of the day was approaching.

As he stood leaning against the glass canopy of the bus stop, trying to hold on to any warmth he could, his mind raced back to thinking about Eunhyuk. This time, the thoughts brought a smile to his face.

Even though Monday would probably feel like he was entering a full-fledged battle, he couldn't help but feel slightly excited along with overwhelmingly anxious.

He now had a free pass to hold Eunhyuk’s hand and to talk to him, as he had always wanted. It would, hopefully, be a pleasant change to the dullness of what his days were usually like until he got to work.

The thought brought Donghae such joy that his smile managed to catch the attention of a woman seated at the bus stop.

“You must be in love,” she commented.

“Excuse me?” he replied politely. It was not the first time he had talked to this particular woman. She was nice enough.

“Love, my dear,” she repeated herself. “You must be thinking about a pretty girl to have such a handsome smile on your face. Plus, you’ve chopped off those pretty locks of yours.”

Donghae chuckled. He didn't want to alarm the woman by telling her that he was, in fact, thinking about a cute boy with a charming, gummy smile instead. He wasn't too sure that she would be so nice if she knew the truth.

“Something like that.”

The woman sighed happily while smiling warmly at Donghae.

“Enjoy it, dear. Nothing feels as warm and precious as the first love in one’s life.”

Donghae smiled politely and nodded his head respectfully toward the woman.

“I will,” he promised and it wasn't a lie.

He planned to savor every moment he got with Eunhyuk for the next six months. No matter that fact that Eunhyuk was not the most willing partner in their “relationship,” Donghae planned to enjoy every conversation and every touch they were likely to share, however few they would be.

She winked and turned her face back to look down the street to see if the bus was coming.

Donghae laughed to himself. He didn't know the woman’s name even though they had spoken several times; he occasionally caught her waiting for the bus on some nights after work. They had had several encounters, but most of the time, it was her nagging him about needing to smile more because he was too young to be always be frowning.

For once, she looked genuinely pleased that she hadn’t had to tell him to smile.

The bus arrived ten minutes later much to the pleasure of Donghae’s frozen extremities.

Donghae sighed in relief as he stepped into his house. The warmth quickly enveloped him as he removed his shoes and coat.

“I’m home!” he shouted into the hallway. The smell of dinner was thick in the air. A few moments later, his mother popped her head out of the kitchen with a ladle in her hand.

“Sweetie!” she greeted him.

When he walked up to hug her, she immediately took notice of his haircut.

“You finally cut your hair!” she exclaimed happily, running her hands along his now visible face and quickly gave him a kiss on his left cheek.

“I can now see your beautiful face.”

“Alright ma,” he mumbled, embarrassed by the compliment. “I’m going to take a shower. When will dinner be done?”

"Is that all you care about?" she jested, making him feel guilty.

"No, ma. How was your day?"

Donghae sheepishly looked down at his feet. It wasn't the first time she called him out on thinking about only himself, even if all he did was ask about dinner. He hated to disappoint his mother though he knew she was only trying to make a point at the moment.

"It was good. I had lunch with your aunt and went grocery shopping."

She smiled cheekily at her youngest son as he looked sorry for only asking about food. She chuckled as she lightly patted his cheek.

"Dinner will be ready in about half-an-hour. That’s when your brother should be back.”

Donghae had smiled at his mother before he gave her another hug.

"Thanks, ma. It smells good," he commented as he began to walk toward his bedroom.

"Of course it does. Now, go off and take a shower. Don't take forever!" she yelled up the stairs at him.

Donghae chuckled as he grabbed a change of clothes and a towel from his bedroom.

Upon entering the bathroom, he stopped to look in the mirror. So much of his face was now visible because of the haircut. It made him look so much more like his older brother.

He his lips as he played with the small flick of hair at the front. He mussed it from left to right to see which way the style looked better. He grabbed some of his brother’s hair wax, flipped the hair down, and immediately flipped it back up.

Donghae looked exactly like his older brother when he did that. It was uncanny; they would be able to pull off calling themselves twins if he ever wore his hair down.

He chuckled at the thought and undressed. Donghae stopped to look in the mirror again as he scratched at his neck. There were some stray hairs from his haircut that had managed to slip under his collar. He hadn’t felt them before. He figured it had to do with his mind being preoccupied with Eunhyuk.

Again, he couldn't help but stare at his face. He couldn't get used to the haircut.

His long hair had been such a safety net for years. Now with a shorter style, he could no longer hide behind it, nor would he be able to hide any pimples he would often get along his cheeks when he was stressed.

He sighed at the fact and made a note to stock up on a good facial cleanser.

His shower passed slowly only because he decided just to sit in the tub with the hot shower water hitting his back. Donghae often did this when he had too much on his mind. He found it relaxing. He loved the feeling of the water on his back. It was like, what he could only imagine, the feeling of someone running their fingers up and down his back.

When he stepped out of the steamed up bathroom, he was once again met by the smell of dinner and the sounds of his brother talking with his mother.

Donghae smiled as he threw his dirty clothes in the hamper in the hallway before heading down.

“Donghae!” his older brother, Donghwa, shouted as soon as he stepped into the kitchen.

“What? What do you want?” Donghae playfully replied before walking over to give his brother a hug. He didn't allow him to stand up, however.

His brother, though he loved him very much, gave hugs like he was trying to kill a person. Donghae was is no mood to deal with that at the moment.

“Did you work today?”

“Yeah,” Donghae mumbled as he took a seat. “I worked from 10 to 3.”

“So why did you only get home now?” Donghwa asked with a knowing gleam in his eye. He turned to the point at the clock that read that it was almost eight.

“I hung out with friends after work.” Donghae stared inquisitively at his brother, trying to figure out what he was trying to get at with his questions.

“Friends?” came the quick response. However, before Donghae could answer, his mother interjected.

“It’s good to hang out with friends, sweetie. Just call one of us next time.”

“Why are you bringing this up now?” Donghae asked incredulously. “You didn’t say anything before.”

“I was distracted by your haircut and dinner. Plus, Donghwa just reminded me of how late you were compared to other days.”

Donghae sneered at his older brother, who just stuck his tongue out at him.

“So friends, huh?”

“Yes. Why do you keep saying it like that?”

Donghae’s heart began to race as his brother stared at him. Their mother was oblivious to the exchange; she was too busy making sure the stew was ready.

There was something in Donghwa’s eyes; it made Donghae nervous. There was something mischievous about the look his older brother was giving him. It reminded Donghae of how his father used to look at both of them when he knew they were lying.

“Since when do you have friends, Hae-Hae?”

“Donghwa!” their mother quickly shouted, lightly hitting his older brother on his shoulder with a dish towel.

“What?”

He shrugged his shoulders.

“Since when does Donghae hang out with people?”

“Don’t listen to him, sweetie.”

Donghae smiled tightlipped at his mother as she carried the pot of stew to the dinner table.

“Really though? Who were you hanging out with?”

Donghae was taken aback by how persistent his brother was being about the whole thing. He didn’t understand where the skepticism and inquisition were coming from; it had never been this bad before.

“Why do you keep asking?”

Donghae glared at Donghwa across the table. He watched as his brother spooned dinner in everyone's bowls. Quickly, his brother looked back at him.

“I ask because I drove by the store to pick you up, but that Kyuhyun kid told me you had left with some guy.”

Donghae swallowed the hot piece of meat in his mouth without taking his eyes off his brother.

He knew that Donghwa knew something more especially because the mischief hadn't left his gaze.

“Honey, leave your younger brother alone.”

Donghae was grateful to his mother for her attempts at placating his brother, but it was clear that Donghwa had more to say.

“You see, Mom. I can’t leave him alone because that kid in his store told me something very interesting about Donghae’s ‘friend.’”

And there it was.

Donghae dropped his spoon into his bowl as he shifted his gaze between his brother and mother. The few bites of dinner he had had now felt heavy in his stomach.

“What does he mean by that?" His mother’s tone conveyed that she was concerned and Donghae knew that there were now a million, horrible scenarios running around in her head all because of how Donghwa brought up the subject.

Donghae rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the situation, but he knew he couldn’t when his mother spoke up again.

“Lee Donghae, you answer me right now. Who were you hanging out with?”

Donghae huffed and sneered at his brother before changing his expression to face his mother.

“I hung out with a classmate.”

It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole story. He knew the answer wasn’t going to satisfy her, though, especially with Donghwa instigating the situation from his side of the table.

“Classmate? You go to school together?”

“Yes, Donghwa,” Donghae pointedly and angrily enunciated every syllable of his bother’s name to drive the point home that he wanted this conversation to end.

“Oh, sweetie. It’s good that you’re hanging out with classmates, but is this boy not good?”

“He’s fi—” Donghae began to defend Eunhyuk, but his brother decided that the conversation was moving too far away from where he wanted it.

“Apparently," Donghwa interjected around a spoonful of stew, "the classmate is his boyfriend. Color me surprised when I found out from his coworker.”

The look of shock on his mother’s face was enough for Donghae to lose his appetite. The smug expression on Donghwa’s face made Donghae want to grab the pot of stew and pour it over his head.

“You have a boyfriend?” his mother asked earnestly. It was clear that she wasn’t angry about it, but she was more upset that he hadn’t told her first.

Donghae sighed in defeat. He hadn’t wanted to tell his family until later on when he could figure out a way to gauge the conversation, but Donghwa had killed any chance of that.

“We only started dating Friday. So really, he’s not my boyfriend. We went out today, and that’s pretty much the extent of our relationship. Why would you believe anything that comes out of Kyuhyun’s mouth?”

“I should have known better,” Donghwa begrudgingly admitted as their mother chuckled.

Donghae felt smug as he took another bite of his food, his nerves having been calmed a bit by the disappointment on Donghwa's face.

“Whatever he is, sweetie, just be careful.”

The comment made Donghae choke on his bite of dinner.

“Oh wow. Your face, man.”

“Shut up!”

“I know you’ve just started dating, Donghae, but do be safe.”

“Mom! We’ve been out once. Once! Why are you getting ahead of yourself?”

Donghae was beyond embarrassed by the turn in the conversation. He could feel the heat and redness in his cheeks. He wanted nothing more than to excuse himself from the table.

His brother, on the other hand, couldn't stop laughing. It made Donghae feel even more humiliated.

“Sweetie, I know what boys your age are looking for—"

“Mom!” Donghwa, this time was the one to interrupt. Even though he enjoyed what was going on, he didn't want to talk about his younger brother's life or potential life.

“Let’s not have this discussion right now. No one wants it. Let’s just eat.”

Donghae nodded his head in agreement as he began to inhale his food. Desperately, he wanted to disappear from in front of his mother because he knew this topic was far from over.

“I’m just trying to protect my baby. Don’t you remember when we had this conversation?"

“Yes, but it wasn’t at the dinner table.”

Donghae closed his eyes and grimaced. He silently prayed that the phone would ring.

“I know it’s embarrassing, sweetie. Just be safe, okay. I’ll stop talking now,” his mother declared with a chuckle as she returned to her meal.

“Alright, ma. Can I be excused now?”

“You barely ate!”

“I’ll eat later.”

“Fine. I’ll put some aside for you.”

Donghae thanked his mother for dinner before he made his way out of the kitchen. However, before he left, he notably gave Donghwa the finger before exiting. Luckily, his mother hadn’t noticed the exchange.

Up in his bedroom, Donghae threw himself on his bed, face down. He was completely mortified by what had happened at the table.

He had figured that he would eventually have to introduce Eunhyuk to his family, hell, he’d even made it a condition, but he didn’t expect the topic to come up so soon.

Granted, his mother had said nothing about meeting Eunhyuk, but he knew how her mind worked. She would ask him to invite the other boy over, especially since the only person who had come to hang out at home with him in the last five years had been Kyuhyun.

And his mother was clamoring for him to come back. She clearly had no idea about how annoying Kyuhyun truly was. He had been a perfect guest, according to his mother.

Thinking about Kyuhyun in his room logically made him think about Eunhyuk in his room.

His mind began to paint a tale, and Donghae let himself drift away into a deep sleep as he watched it unfold behind his closed eyes.

In his dream, Eunhyuk apprehensively entered his bedroom before Donghae. From the door, Donghae watched the other boy look around before he followed inside.

Eunhyuk didn’t speak as he lay down on Donghae’s bed, but the look on his face was enough of an invitation for Donghae to join him there.

From here, Donghae knew where the dream was going. It wasn’t the first time he had this dream.

Quickly, he joined Eunhyuk on the bed, straddling the other boy’s hips. Leaning forward, Donghae ran a finger along Eunhyuk’s jaw—it was something he desperately wanted to do. He followed the same path as his finger with his lips, gently along the chiseled line of the boy's face. All the while, their hips never stopped moving against each other.

He reveled in the noises of the boy underneath him. However, when he moved to kiss Eunhyuk, the dream faded away. It always stopped at that point. He could never get to kiss Eunhyuk before waking up.