i. arrival
time flows like stars

He stared at the sky as the plane buzzed past overhead.

"Every damn time," he muttered to himself, but his eyes remained locked on the airplane.

His hand, stuffed deeply into his pocket, unconsciously slid out and rose into the air, stretching, reaching, yearning. The blue sky, so wide and endless, curved around him, so close he could almost touch it, almost taste it, but when his hand curled, it caught nothing. Nothing could mar the perfect panorama above him.

Subconsciously he made a wish, the same one he always made when he saw an airplane.

Trailing behind the tiny plane was a streak of white smoke, like a cloudy streamer. He tried to grab it but again—nothing. As the plane disappeared into a cloud, the engine smoke behind it slowly faded away until it was gone as if it had never existed, and the plane itself was also out of sight.

The sensation of loss slammed into him for the umpteenth time as he imagined her on the plane, leaving him behind for a strange faraway land again.

"J-Hope!" someone called. "You coming or what?"

He turned and forced a grin onto his face. "Yeah, I'll be right there, Rap Mon-hyung."

With one last wistful glance at the clear sky, he jogged after his brothers and steeled himself against emotion.

You are J-Hope, he reminded himself. Not the weak Hoseok anymore. Never weak again.

He dodged the sloppy punch with a lazy step backwards, not even bothering to look at the idiot.

These bastards aren't even worth fighting, he thought as he quickly jabbed the guy in front of him in the gut and then knocked him out with a punch to the face.

Suddenly there was yelling.

"Suga-hyung! Suga-hyung, stop!" Jungkook shouted futilely.

"Suga, stop this now," Rap Monster ordered firmly as he and Jin tried and failed to hold him back.

Jimin simply stood behind watching.

Suga was relentlessly beating up the opposing gang's leader, who was already unconscious, bloody, and unrecognizable. J-Hope realized that Suga had gone wild again. It had been a while since it last happened, but recently they had lost a brother—to a girl, of all people—so he wasn't surprised.

He strolled over and the second Rap Monster and Jin managed to hold Suga, J-Hope darted in and delivered a light but meaningful slap onto Suga's face. "Hey. Snap out of it," he said, standing in front of the half-dead boy.

Suga snarled at him so J-Hope glared back until Suga finally returned to his senses and realized what had happened. He jerked himself out of Rap Monster and Jin's hold roughly and growled, "I'm fine. Let's go."

J-Hope knew that despite Suga's tough exterior, he was still very much a lost, abandoned boy inside. When he got home, he would give in to the pain and tears and the blood on his hands and the thought that he was becoming a monster.

That was the difference between Suga and J-Hope. While Suga was still a tornado of emotion, J-Hope was now empty. Completely empty.

There was no emotion left in him. What was the point? Only disappointment awaited emotion. After all, even she had left him.

They left the other gang unconscious and alone, though J-Hope knew Jungkook had called the cops anonymously. He was still innocent and young, no matter how many gang fights he had survived.

The six of them quickly went back to their meeting place and cleaned the fight from their clothes as best they could before splitting up to go home.

J-Hope sighed as he slowly walked along the dark streets. He hated home. There was nothing for him at home. His parents were dead, his siblings had left, and she was gone. His "home" was as empty as his heart.

J-Hope stood in front of his door, not ready to face the loneliness for another long, sleepless night. It had been many, many days since he'd last slept a full night. He didn't even try to sleep anymore. He just sat on his bed, back against the wall, lights off, as his mind demons came out to play.

He stuck his key in and twisted, slowly opening the door. The first thing he noticed was the light. The lights were on. He never turned the lights on.

Immediately he was on his guard. Who could have gotten in? It didn't seem like anyone had broken in because why would they lock the door again? No one aside from his brothers knew where he lived, but none of them had a key.

Except—

No. It couldn't be.

He threw the door open and rushed in frantically, looking everywhere, but it was empty. With a sigh, he deflated and crushed the tiny flare of hope that had risen in his chest.

Even though his nickname was J-Hope—a reminder of happier days—there was no hope left in him anymore.

He slumped down into a chair and closed his eyes, not bothering with the lights. They must have been faulty; he'd figure them out later. First, he had to quash down the fantasy that had appeared.

There was a soft rustling. He was too tired to open his eyes and see what it was. Probably just a bug. He wasn't curious.

But then:

"Hoseok?"

notes: Revamping the story with a layout! This is the first time I've ever used a layout for anything, so hopefully I don't screw this up. >.<

On another note, I'M GOING TO KCON 2014 IN LA THIS WEEKEND~ WHOOT! AND I'M GONNA SEE BTS IN PERSON DKJHSFKLHGFGGKS

edit 1/5/2017: GETTING RID OF THE LAYOUT because apparently it's too much of a struggle on mobile lol. SORRY EVERYONE BUT DON'T WORRY IT'LL ALL BE GONE SOON

© Copyright 2014 by skyblaze208