February 2006

Sungmin stared at the cards in his hand before looking back up at Hyukjae, eyeing him carefully as he fidgeted. Smirking he placed two cards down, waiting his nervous friend's next move – Hyukjae was always a particularly bad bluffer when it came to cards. Before he could move a knock on their door interrupted them, Hyukjae sighing in relief.

“Thank god” he whispered, leaping off their bed and opening the door mumbling out what Sungmin had to assume was Hyukjae's own special dialect of Thai. A garbled response came from the hallway before Hyukjae returned to his seat on the bed, Leeteuk and a number of cameramen following behind him.

“Teukie hyung!” Sungmin cheered, smiling brightly at the chuckle that came from Leeteuk

“Sungminnie-ah, Hyukjae do you realise its nearly 3am? I'm here to make sure you get some sleep.”

“But we're not tiiiired hyung” Hyukjae whined, bouncing on the bed with a giggling Sungmin. Leeteuk looked at them both, rolling his eyes before grabbing the deck of cards that had been left on other bed. The camera watched on as Leeteuk awkwardly tried to shuffle the cards, the two boys giggling as their hyung nearly dropped them.

“Both of you settle down okay? Watch and I'll perform a magic trick for you, but afterwards you have to sleep alright?”

“Yeeeeeeeees!!” they cheered, settling down to watch their hyung. Leeteuk continued to awkwardly shuffle the cards before pulling one out, waving it around in front of them. Putting it back in the pile he moved them around before pulling out another card, looking at the two boys confidently. “This was your card right?”

The two could barely contain their giggles, Hyukjae shaking his head “no...no its not”

Leeteuk paused for a minute, staring at the card in betrayal before throwing it behind him, much to his dongsaengs amusement.

“OKAY enough of that, it's time for you both to finally sleep. Sungmin! Come and lie down” he shouted, patting the bed lightly as the pair erupted into giggles. “I will come and wake you both tomorrow morning, but you can only sleep for about two hours for now so hurry into bed!”

Literally climbing on top of the bed Sungmin flopped down onto the mattress, Leeteuk immediately pulling the covers over him and tucking him in. Sungmin laid there for a moment before sitting upright, fiddling with the sheets now on top of him.

“Why is this blanket so thick?”

Leeteuk pushed him back down, Sungmin looking up at his hyung with wide eyes. “Don't take the blanket off it's going to be cold... its very cold in Thailand! Plus the air con is on, if you're not careful you might catch a cold yourself! So you must be sure to cover yourself properly, alright?”

Sungmin nodded his head, watching his hyung move around with his most innocent expression as Leeteuk tried to calm a still hyperactive Hyukjae. A moment later Leeteuk came back over to his bed, leaning over him and tucking the blanket around him properly.

“Sungminnie sleep well – our Sungminnie~” Sungmin closed his eyes, feeling Leeteuk brush his fringe out of his face. Sungmin tried to hold in his giggles as his hyung cooed his name, continuing to his hair lightly.

Suddenly there was a warm pressure on his forehead, and before Sungmin could react Leeteuk had placed a kiss on the younger man. Sungmin froze, fighting the blush that rose to his face as Leeteuk and Hyukjae's laughter filled the room, before quickly trying to look as upset as possible. He refused to open his eyes, letting out a quiet groan instead as he heard Leeteuk shuffle away from his bed.

“Okay Sungminnie you will be able to sleep well now~!”

Sungmin's eyes remained closed as he listened to Leeteuk tuck Hyukjae into bed, the younger boy squirming as he avoided his own 'goodnight kiss'. After getting them both settled Leeteuk gave them one last goodnight before the rooms lights were switched off. He listened as the cameraman followed a giddy Leeteuk out of the room, shutting the door as complete darkness surrounded them, Leeteuk's yell of 'success!!' in the hallway outside making them both chuckle.

“Night Min.” 

“goodnight Hyukkie.” Sungmin replied, turning his body away from the other boy to face the wall, staring into the darkness as he waited for his eyes to adjust. He knew he should be trying to sleep, but he couldn't, instead trying to slow his rapid heartbeat.

Why had he blushed when Leeteuk kissed his forehead? It wasn't like he had meant anything serious of it – Leeteuk had obviously done it as a funny moment to have on camera. And yet, all he could think about was the soft lips that had been on his skin.

Maybe he was just confused. They'd been friends for at least five years now and Teukie had always meant a lot to him... it was more than likely that he was just mixed up about his feelings towards the other man. This was just him being silly, he hadn't sleep in a day there was no way that he had those kind of feelings for his hyung!

Yet as Sungmin started to drop off to sleep, all he could think about was his Teukie hyung.

---

April 2007

No. No no no no no.

This can't be happening, not to them.

When the call had first come into the dorm Sungmin, Kibum and Donghae had been sitting down for dinner. When the cheery Donghae dropped the phone, face filled with fear, they immediately knew something was terribly wrong. After Kibum had picked up the phone and assured whoever was on the line that 'yes Donghae is okay, he's just a bit shaken up', they had learnt fully of the accident.

The trio were out the door in a second, piling into the awaiting taxi ready to take them into the hospital. While Kibum soothed an upset Donghae Sungmin stared out the window, mind numb. The closer they got to the hospital, the worse Sungmin felt, nervous feeling in his stomach gnawing at him as Donghae cried in the back seat.

Entering the small lobby they found the rest of the group huddled around a visibly spooked Hyukjae, row of bandages covering his wrist. They looked up at the newcomers, Hyukjae releasing a loud sob before rushing forward, throwing himself into Sungmin's arms.

“Minnie hyung i-it w-was horrible a-and t-teuk and k-kyuhyun were h-hurt s-so m-much w-worse than m-me... w-what do we d-do? w-why am I okay b-but not th-them??”

Sungmin shushed the distraught boy, holding him close as he cried into his chest. Looking around at the group he saw everyone in sullen tears, no one quite sure what to say to their agitated member. As they stood there the doctor walked into the room, looking around at the now attentive boys.

“First off, Jungsoo seems to have been hit with a number of glass shards from the initial impact, and they caused significant damage to his arms and part of his face. Luckily none of them were too deep, and we've removed them all. We put him in an induced coma for the night, and you'll be allowed to visit him one at a time, as long as you keep quiet.”

“...and Kyuhyunnie?” Yesung whispered, holding onto Ryeowook tightly. The doctors face fell, panic setting in amongst the group.

“I'm not going to sugar coat this for you boys... its not good. He has multiple injuries affecting his breathing and heart. His father has okayed a surgery for us to correct this, but you should know there is a significant risk that comes with this procedure. Even if he does survive, there is no guarantee that he'll be able to sing alongside you guys again”

Yesung thanked the doctor, face pale as Ryeowook cried in his arms. The room was tense as the doctor left, leaving the boys in silence.

“Sungmin”

“...yeah Chul hung?”

“You should go see Jungsoo first. He'd want you nearby”

Nodding, Sungmin let go of the sleeping Hyukjae who had worn himself out soon after the doctors visit, passing him into Siwon's awaiting arms before shakily making his way down the halls to Leeteuk's room. Opening the door and sliding in, Sungmin felt his heart almost stop, seeing his hyung lying on the bed hooked up to a number of machines.

Taking a seat beside the bed he grabbed Leeteuks bandaged hand gently, caressing it as he looked over his broken hyung. He sat in silence for a moment before the worry overwhelmed him, releasing broken sobs as tears streaked down his face.

“Teukie hyung... w-we need you, so you have to wake up soon okay? Everyone is scared about Kyu and without you around its a whole lot scarier” he paused for a moment, letting out a weak exhale as he listened to the constant beeping of the machines.

“More importantly hyung, I need you. I know you're always saying that I'm the strong one, b-but in reality I'm not half as strong as you seem to think I am. The only reason I've ever been able to face the hardships of this life is because I have you behind me every step of the way. But right now, I'm terrified. Kyuhyunnie is hurt and the group is about to fall apart outside in the waiting room, and I don't know what to do without you. They're looking to me for help and all I can think about is you because...”

Sungmin stopped, eyes wide as the sudden realisation slammed into him. He'd been denying it for  months now, but after nearly losing his hyung, he had lost the will to fight it any more.

“... because I-i love you hyung. Way more than I should but I do. I mean sometimes I look at you and just feel like nothing is more important than seeing you smile. So I need you to wake up as soon as possible hyung, because I can't do this without you.”

Sungmin leant against the bed, closing his tear filled eyes, hand still gripping Leeteuk's tightly.

'please.”

---

[DAY 05]

“Bye hyungs! Have fun on the ShimShimTapa special together!!”

“Thank you Sungminnie, tell Wookie that we'll be back with Kyuhyun-ah for dinner” Leeteuk smiled, leaving the dorm with a distracted Yesung by his side. Going to guest on his 'enlistment special' on the radio show, the two of them left Sungmin to quietly continue reading his book on the lounge.

He was halfway through the novel, turning the pages slowly when there was a loud bang from the kitchen door, startling him. Before he could turn to see what the commotion was about, Sungmin found himself lifted into the air, book dropped onto the floor in shock.

“what the – hYUNG LET ME GO!!” Sungmin shrieked, Kangin carrying the struggling boy out of the lounge and down the hallway after Ryeowook, muttering a quiet sorry before dumping him on Ryeowook's bed.

“what on EARTH do you two think you're doing to me oh my god” Sungmin growled, making to stand up and walk out of the room. Ryeowook just stared at him, motioning for his hyung to sit back down with a cold glare. As Sungmin settles back down on the bed Ryeowook started to pace, shaking his head.

“Hyung you don't have a lot of time left and we've--”

“you've” Kangin muttered.

“--WE'VE decided its time for an emergency meeting. So I welcome you to what I've decided to lovingly dub the emergency conference of 'get your head out of your and just confess why are my hyungs so dumb dear god!'”

Sungmin stared at Ryeowook dumbstruck, before letting out a low chuckle. “Ryeowook have you lost your goddamn mind?”

“That may very well be the case,” Ryeowook replied, shooting Sungmin a cheeky grin “but all in all I want to help you before its too late. Both Kangin hyung and I have tried to make you see just how Teuk hyung feels about you, but its become obvious you need to hear it from the man himself. So we decided to enlist some extra help... Kangin?”

Kangin nodded, turning the desk radio beside him on, switching the station until a familiar high pitched laugh crackled out of the speakers.

“So in your absence you've assigned our Eunhyukkie as Super Junior's temporary leader, what was the exact reason behind that choice instead of someone like... lets say Sungmin?”

Sungmin gasped, looking at the two men with him angrily “you two told Yesung as well!?”

Ryeowook shushed him, ignoring the angry cries of Sungmin. “God hyung just shush and listen this is really important for you to hear!” Sulking Sungmin pouted at the boy, before focusing his attention back on the radio.

“We picked Eunhyukkie at first because if I took this away from him he would make sure I never returned from the army!”

Everyone in the studio laughed, the sound putting a small smile on Sungmin's face as he listened on.

“In seriousness, as the next member to start training it felt more than necessary to give Hyukjae such an important task. I have complete faith in him to do a good job, and I know the rest of the group will be more than supportive of him in this role.

Thats where Sungminnie comes in. He is such an amazing member of the group, and I know for a fact that with him backing up Hyukjae the team will be more than alright – I should know, he's been there for me more times than I can count! Honestly, as long as Sungminnie is around I will always have a safe state of mind, because nothing can go wrong with him around.”

“It sounds like you care for our Minnie quite a lot”

There was a quiet pause before Leeteuk spoke up again, voice softer than before. “Yes, I care for him a lot. He is a very special person, and Sungminnie will always have a very special place within my heart, no matter what.”

Sungmin sat perfectly still, staring at the floor in shock. Sure, he might've entertained the idea of his hyung feeling something for him once or twice, but it was incomprehensible to him that he would ever hear words that were so similar to what he thought about his hyung from Leeteuk himself.

Ryeowook gave a small sigh, leaning against the wall as he observed his shell shocked hyung. “See dumb dumb, he cares about you so much – and thats only what he said in a public forum! I'm sorry for basically kidnapping you, but I needed you to see what the rest of us see when Teuk hyung looks at you. Please, take the chance Minnie hyung.”

“You've only got four days left... make them count Min.” Kangin added, both boys leaving the room to give Sungmin some space.

Despite the doubts and questions filling his mind about what exactly his relationship was with Leeteuk, he couldn't help the smile once again spread across his face as the sound of Leeteuk's laugh echoing from the radio.