One

Holding On and Letting Go

 

ONE

 

Baekhyun groaned and grunted when he couldn’t find his friend, Jongdae, anywhere amongst the crowd. It didn’t help that he wasn’t tall enough to spot his equally short friend and it certainly didn’t help that the people around him are too eager to notice him pushing his way through, their sweaty bodies touching his as they raised their arms to cheer on whoever it is on the mini stage that was about to give them what seemed to be the biggest performance ever. He was more annoyed than angry at Jongdae for leaving him like that and disappearing to nowhere. The kid knows very well how Baekhyun gets lost easily and this place was completely strange to him. He wondered if he would survive the night as his eyes continued to scan the room, his vision half cut by the audiences trying to get as close to the stage as possible.

He couldn’t help but regret ever saying yes to Jongdae when the younger asked him if he wanted to come along. If only he had said no when Jongdae asked while he was watching the TV, maybe now he’d still be back home, snuggled comfortably with his blanket and dozing off because finally, tomorrow is a weekend and there is no need for him to wake up so early in the morning to go to work, only to be greeted by uncontrollable middle-schoolers. Baekhyun mumbled incoherent words under his breath as he continued to search for his housemate, also known as the closest thing he has to a best friend. The patience that he had been able to withhold around the children that he teaches in school had somehow worn off, because he quickly decided that if he couldn’t find Jongdae in the next ten seconds, he was going to go home.

Just then, he could feel his arm being pulled towards the stage and he only realized it was Jongdae who had pulled him a second later. Jongdae’s body buzzed with an excitement Baekhyun had never seen before, and he wondered if his friend had been wasting his Fridays on pointless club shows such as the one they were about to watch. He frowned at Jongdae before wrenching his arm free of the latter’s grip. The younger didn’t seem to be bothered because now his eyes were glued onto the presence on the stage, his body shaking slightly. Baekhyun followed his gaze and saw that everyone was cheering for a boy clad in only white tank top and tight black jeans. He squinted to get a better look; the lights had dimmed and they were a little bit too far for Baekhyun to carefully study the object of everyone’s attention.

The spotlight shone on the performer and soon the music blasted through the air, causing Baekhyun to flinch because he had been unprepared. The boy on the stage looked up and his body, almost naturally, began to move against the beat of the song, occasionally singing the lyrics to it. Baekhyun realized a minute later that was a remix of GDragon’s MichiGo and the boy with the half smirk with everyone’s attention on him was doing a pretty good job. Beside Baekhyun, Jongdae started to sing along, moving his body as well with the other audience. So this is what they’re so excited about, Baekhyun thought silently. It wasn’t as ridiculous as it had seemed now that he knows what he’s watching. The performance goes on for about five minutes, after which the performer ended it with a good note, earning him a thunder of applause.

A host reminds the crowd to not leave just yet because they have a guest who will also be performing later. Baekhyun took this pause to tug at Jongdae’s shirt sleeve, stealing the younger’s attention from the boy who had just gotten off the stage. “You do this every week, Jongdae? Who is that boy earlier? You seemed a little too excited to be the Jongdae I know.”

Jongdae merely laughed. “I’m always excited! Especially when it comes to Kim Jongin.” A dreamy look crosses Jongdae’s face, but soon he recovered and grinned at Baekhyun. “Wasn’t he great? He never fails to please us every week! I think I’m in love.”

Baekhyun could only nod curtly at his friend’s weird behavior. It wasn’t like Jongdae to let anything impress him easily. The last time Baekhyun tried to impress Jongdae went terribly and nobody else had seemed to be able to do it. Well, except this Kim Jongin, obviously. And all he had to do was wear a half smirk and obtain an incredible dancing skill. Baekhyun couldn’t help the smile that colored his lips at the thought of Jongdae being in love again. His friend’s most recent break up was almost a year ago, the longest he had been being single, and it was most likely that he might be bringing poor Kim Jongin home sometime soon. Baekhyun didn’t mean that Jongdae picks random people to bring to bed, no. He just meant that Jongdae is bad at making friends before letting the other person get into his pants.

He pities Jongdae at times but then when does Jongdae ever listens to him? Close to never, he supposed. He shook his head to stop where his train of thoughts was taking him and instead focused on the stage once again. Jongdae yells at him to stay just a little bit longer over the music and he had no choice but to agree. He really had nothing to do at home, anyway. The assignments to be marked can wait until tomorrow. He wouldn’t admit aloud, but yeah, he was actually looking forward to this next performance. The host gathered everyone once again before he presents the next performer, the lights dimming again as the crowd fell into silence.

The music that pierced through the chilly air had Baekhyun grinning, the audience exploding into cheers and rounds of applause. The performer appeared under the spotlight, wearing a worn out dark jeans and blue checkered jacket to top his white t-shirt underneath. He wore a snapback with the back of it resting on the crown on his head. If Baekhyun hadn’t known the song, then maybe he would take a minute or two trying to recognize it. But because this song was the first and last song that he played on his iPod, he rejoiced at having to hear a remix version of it, complete with a whole new choreographed dance. It was Taeyang’s Ringa Linga and it was soon after that Baekhyun found himself jumping on his tiptoes to get a better look at the dancer, whose body moved fluidly, face set in full concentration, unlike Kim Jongin.

Baekhyun clapped the loudest when the performance ended. This time, Kim Jongin, went back up onto the stage to join the other boy, taking the microphone from the host. He began to introduce his friend to the audience, but Baekhyun could barely focus on him because Jongdae was once again yelling at him over the loudness of the speakers. “That’s Jongin’s friend. He’s cute.”

He decides not to judge his friend for the random compliment Jongdae was giving to another guy as the performer began speaking into the microphone. Baekhyun’s attention and eyes were glued to the boy, who was introducing himself and thanking the audience for having him tonight. His name is Oh Sehun; Baekhyun hadn’t missed the lisp, though. He tried the name aloud on his tongue. It was at that same time that the said boy, Sehun, caught his eyes. It felt like hours of staring into each other’s souls when it was just merely seconds. Baekhyun couldn’t help but swallow at the glistening sweat that drips down Sehun’s blond edges of hair, taking in the shape of the dancer’s lips as it stretched into a smile. It took him a moment to realize that the smile was directed at him, and it took him another moment to smile back. Sehun didn’t stop speaking, telling the audience about his experiences and how he hoped he would still be able to perform for them again. All the while, his eyes never left Baekhyun’s.

They shared another smile and Baekhyun swore his knees turned to jelly.

 

Jongdae abandoned Baekhyun again. It was not long after Sehun finished introducing himself that Baekhyun realized he was alone in the crowd of strangers. When he looked back up at the stage, he was disappointed to see that Sehun had left and the crowd was slowly dispersing, although some stayed behind to enjoy some more music being played by the DJ. Baekhyun frowned as he, once again, began to look for his missing friend. It’s funny how it was harder than it had been when there were people everywhere now that the club is emptying. He should be able to find Jongdae easily, thanks to the neon pink jacket – it’s Jongdae’s favorite color and don’t ask Baekhyun why because he had no idea – that his friend was wearing.

He glanced at the watch on his wrist and noted that it was almost 3 in the morning. The club would be closing really soon and he had to quickly find Jongdae before he gets kicked out. It seemed that Jongdae had left him because there was no sign of the said boy anywhere. Baekhyun rolled his eyes, deciding for the second time that night to just leave Jongdae behind. He sighed and turned to head towards the door when he bumped into Sehun, who quickly smiled down at him after his brief apology. Baekhyun could feel heat spread at his cheeks and he blamed the air around them. Sehun looked much, much better up close. He was already cleaned up, no longer the sweating mess he had been about fifteen minutes ago. He had abandoned the snapback and his blond spikes tousled perfectly. His almond eyes shone into Baekhyun’s hazel ones.

Baekhyun gulped, suddenly robbed off any words to say. There was something that was at the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t seem to voice it out. His heart was beating unreasonably fast, throat clenching and preventing him to say anything. All he could do was stare back into Sehun’s eyes, bright with amusement yet dark with a hidden story. He felt the sudden urge to unravel that darkness, hoping in his secret heart that he would be able to slip into the story Sehun hides behind that perfect smile. It was irrational, of course. He knew close to nothing about Sehun except that he has a cute lisp and he’s a very, very talented dancer. Maybe it was in-the-moment kind of thing, like the ones Baekhyun read about in storybooks. You lock eyes with someone and then you started to trust your instincts. It was dangerous to believe in those fictional theories, but Baekhyun couldn’t help the smile that grazes his lips as he thought about their uncertain future.

“Jongdae hyung told me to tell you that he’s sorry and that he won’t be coming home tonight.” Sehun broke the silence that had felt like an eternity, bringing Baekhyun back to the present. Baekhyun felt the rise of anger for a while because how dare Jongdae abandon him like this? With no cash for a cab and no car? But his anger soon subsided when Sehun raised his hand and a set of keys dangled from his fingers. “He gave you the car, though.”

Baekhyun thanked the dimmed lighting for hiding the color in his cheeks as he takes the keys from Sehun’s hand. His voice was softer than he had intended when he thanked Sehun for the information. Sehun’s smile widened an inch and when their fingers grazed, there was a spark that passes through their skin, from Sehun to Baekhyun or the other way round, Baekhyun isn’t sure. He has a feeling he won’t be sure about it until whenever. There were unspoken words in Sehun’s eyes and Baekhyun found that he could read them clearly. The sudden confidence that clenched at his stomach elicited another smile to form at his lips, offering his hand for Sehun to take.

“The name is Byun Baekhyun,” He introduced himself and when Sehun shook his hand, that electrifying sensation came again at their skin contact. Baekhyun decided he liked it.

“Oh Sehun.” There was something so endearing in the way that Sehun speaks with a lisp, and it made Baekhyun smile even wider.

“I know.” Baekhyun nodded, couldn’t help the way his cheeks were beginning to hurt from too much smiling. His hand was still in Sehun’s grasp and he didn’t mind it because he liked the warmth that it gave him. He’d forgotten who he is for a moment there, because his brain was no longer working, somehow. When Sehun asked for his number, he hadn’t hesitated saying it out loud for Sehun to key it into his phone. They made no plans to meet again, parting with a smile that says it all. Sehun stayed rooted onto his spot when Baekhyun turned to wave and he was still there even after Baekhyun left. Baekhyun knows it somehow, courtesy of Tao, the DJ, who told him later on that he had been watching the two since the beginning.

You see, Baekhyun remembers the beginning. It was something that was carved into and on the surface of his heart. If you ask him the details of it, he would gladly let himself drown in his words and smiles as he describes the moment with exact precision. He knows just when the crinkle of Sehun’s eyes came and he knows exactly the moment his heartbeat escalated. He couldn’t forget even if he tried. He only didn’t know if it was a good thing or bad.

He doesn’t know anything anymore. 

 

A/N: The angst isn't here yet so let us all celebrate the light mood when we can. Lol. I changed it to a four-shot instead. I hope you all like. Comments are as always, appreciated. I love reading your comments. ^^ Hope I didn't disappoint. <3

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theperfnerd
I dont think it'll progress slowly. this story has to have more angst than the fluff xD

Comments

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Davidlorenzo #1
Chapter 4: oh my god. I cried so much T.T
yehet_pcy #2
okay wow tbh what an emotional ride that was........ like wtf ugh im so happy but im really conflicted at the moment???? for some reason i dont know too tbh????? like okay when they just started i was like oh my god perfect theyre the cutest i love this this is so fluffy but i remember the foreword and the tags and like nOPE THIS IS ANGST OF COURSE IT IS AND RIGHT ABOUT THE TIME SEHUN WENT BACKTO DANCING AND BAEK FELT SO ALONE AND LONELY I WAS JUST WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED????? like baekhyun i literally didnt know what happened because baek obv did nothing wrong?????? AND I WAS SO MAD AT SEHUN BECAUSE HOW COULD HE HURT BAEK LIKE THAT LIKE TBH I COULDNT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHY HES LIKE THAT I WAS SO ANGRY BECAUSE IF YOU STILL LOVE HIM ING SHOW HIM AND DONT MAKE HIM BELIEVE THAT IT'S HIS FAULT YOUVE BEEN GROWING DISTANT HE'S HURTING SO MUCH AND ALL YOURE DOING IS FUELING IT BEC YOU THINK THATS WHATS GOOD FOR HIM LIKE WTF YOU CANT DECIDE THAT FOR BAEK BECAUSE HE WILL LITERALLY GO TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH FOR YOU AND YOURE JUST LETTING HIM LET YOU GO???????? LIKE WTF HUN IF YOU STILL LOVE HIM MAKE HIM FEEL IT?????
and tbh i dont god wHY THE DID IT TAKE YOU FIVE MORE MONTHS TO APOLOGIZE TO BAEKHYUN AND ASK IF YOUCOULD MAKE IT UP TO HIM?????? OF COURSE BAEKHYUN LOVES YOU ENOUGH LOVES YOU SO MUCH THAT IF YOU PROBABLY CAME RUNNING BACK TO HIS OLD APARTMENT THE DAY AFTER YOU WALKED OUT OF HIS DOOR HE WOULDVE GIVEN YOU THE CHANCE YOU HEAD.

omfg im sorry for the caps gOMEN i know i sound angry and violent but i swear im happy with the ending. thanks for writing and sharing!!!!!
eunaescup
#3
Chapter 4: I cried soo much T.T my baby Baek.. I really love how you write the scenes.. I can feel Baek’s pain </3 Thanks for this!!
Totally_Extreme #4
Chapter 4: I hate you....i really do.. here am i deciding to go through your stories to see if there is a story i missed. And i get an AMAZING story pulling at all my heart strings and crying my heart out
BaekMeACake_12
#5
Chapter 4: OMO MY FEELS
b2uty_tuli
#6
Chapter 1: lol i just checked out my favorites label and realized this is indeed my most fav story of yours keke quite surprised cus it's not one of your popular ones haha
b2uty_tuli
#7
sorry to be a silent reader all the time^^ but i have to tell i'm so in love with your chaptered stories, they are really really good and you're absolutely the best angst sebaek writer here btw i see your name in the comment section in every single sebaek fic i've read lol
Ashley_Carlson
#8
Chapter 4: You know authornim, may be you aren't good at writting sebaek angst, but for me you are the exact type of author, writes angst ones. Mostly since, i don't prefer full angst fics without a happy ending. Anyways, you are one of the best sebaek writter i ve ever met. Thank you for this amazing story. ^^
baekhyunkkaebsong #9
Chapter 4: aaah all the feels! I love your writing! and your angst-y scenes really made my heart ache which is great lol :)
12jungdorks #10
Chapter 4: My heart ached when they broke up & I teared up when they got back. The last scene/confession part was very touching. What a beautiful story♥SeBaek♥