Getting ice cream with Daehyun was nice, and so was getting dinner with him on Sunday night and when he brought Junhong lunch on Wednesday as well. That was nice Junhong decided. He liked being pampered, but he felt like he should have done more for Daehyun. He felt like he needed to put out more than just allowing him to kiss him, and even then, that wasn’t too exciting he thought because it was just a kiss. Junhong still giggled when he did it and Daehyun had these eyes that told him it was all okay, and he wasn’t putting out any signals that he was wanting more, but that didn’t make Junhong think things.

                “Do you think he’d be up to sleeping with me yet? I mean, we haven’t been going out for even two weeks and I feel like I’m going so painfully slow.” Junhong asked Jongup, who sipped on his milk and his arm flexed when he crushed it a little at the sudden question. Junhong wondered if Daehyun liked more muscular guys. He looked at his own, toothpick thin arm and frowned.

                “I think Daehyun seems perfectly happy the way you two are right now actually.” Jongup said to Junhong, and he looked up from inspecting his skin for any flaws. He noticed Daehyun had a lot of acne scars and he was really conscious about them while Junhong never had a second thought about his skin. Now, that’s all he could think about. He had a blackhead on his forehead that drove him crazy.

                “Do you really think? I mean, all we do is kiss and I feel like he might want more from me.” Junhong asked again. Jongup polished off his milk and he took out the straw and jammed it into another one. For all the chocolate milk he drank, Jongup never gained an ounce.

                “Do you want more is the real question. Relationships take two to tango and Daehyun would never forgive himself if you pushed yourself to have with him. He’s a gentle boy, and he’s a gentleman as well. He wants to be sure you’re happy. I can tell the way he looks at you with his sappy as hell eyes that he really cares.” Jongup said. Junhong hummed at his words and nodded, taking them into consideration and asking himself as well. Did he really want more? He admittedly had been looking and watching more than usual, but it was mostly just to see how everything went. He was always careful to click the amateur category because he knew that professionals didn’t use lube or condoms but from all of Jongup’s stories, those were vital.

                It looked simple enough, but even the amateur guys seemed a lot more skilled than usual, and all of them were cut. What if Daehyun wasn’t? Junhong didn’t know what to do with foreskin, and s didn’t looks very nice to give either because people were always gagging or it was never pretty like he was told it was supposed to be. All the men in the magazines had these bodies that Junhong didn’t have and he felt ashamed when he looked at himself in the mirror and he was big, but he wasn’t impressive or anything that would take anyone’s breath away he thought. He thought that for a nearly 18 year old boy, he was average and that was it. His too tall body was gangly and it made it hard to kiss Daehyun and he was really thin but there was no muscle.

                Daehyun never seemed to care though. He would hold and hug and kiss Junhong just the same, but Junhong never wanted to be held long enough for Daehyun to really feel how his bones stuck out, and he never wanted to be kissed long enough for Daehyun to realize that his lips were small and chapped. He wanted to distance himself from Daehyun, but he really had grown to like him more than he expected. He found himself looking at his phone more and more often than usual, waiting for a text or a call. When he went over to Daehyun’s on the weekdays to do homework, he would always focus more on the boy than on his paper.

                He also was starting to give Daehyun skateboard lessons on the times they hung out, which was more little than not. Daehyun had work and Junhong had school, so they made do with what minimal time they had. Daehyun was getting the hang of it at least, so it made everything all the more easier. He was a natural, and Junhong, though he was glad Daehyun wanted to skate, he was also growing curious about Daehyun’s singing. The next time they had a free day together, which was two Saturday’s since Junhong last spent the night, he asked about it as Daehyun cooked up some lunch.

                “Do you think you could somehow sneak me into the bar that you sing at? I’m tall enough.” Junhong smiled, and Daehyun giggled in response because Junhong was too cute for him. He wanted to say yes, but he was a man of morals.

                “I don’t think I can, Junhong. You have a baby face and that’ll be your demise. You’re not even 18 and they’d kill me if they figured out you were my boyfriend and I was dating that young.” Daehyun said, and Junhong’s shoulders slouched. He had forgetting about that; that people, like Youngjae, were against Daehyun dating Junhong because he was so young. Junhong sighed, and Daehyun noticed that he was visibly hurt by the comment. “But I’m not worried, Junie. Don’t feel let down because of one thing. I’ll let you hear me sing one day, just not now and not in the bar. I have a good voice, but it’s just weird to sing for someone, don’t you think?”

                Junhong did. He thought about it, and it was kind of weird. “I mean,” Junhong started out. “We can like, go to karaoke or something together and even Jongup and Himchan can come along and you can sing then. I heard Jongup has a good voice too and Himchan does as well. I… I don’t.” Junhong laughed. “It’ll be fun. Though, unless you don’t think that’ll be a good idea because of you and Jongup’s past relationship.” Junhong said. Daehyun smiled a little and he went back to making some grilled cheese. He had buttered up the bread and was working on mounting on the cheese itself.

                “I’m in a relationship with you now. I don’t see why that would be a problem. All feelings I once had for Jongup have dissipated because you’re with me now, and I could not be happier.” Daehyun said, grinning. Junhong blushed, but he hid his face in his hands because he didn’t want Daehyun to think he was a big, sappy baby who couldn’t handle kind words even though that was exactly what he was. He really was head over heels for Daehyun and there were nights where he had to lie and say he was going to bed because he didn’t want the older boy to think he was too obsessive or something.

                He even limited himself to how much he talked about Daehyun around Jongup. Sure, he probably didn’t have to be that cautious, but he didn’t want to risk anything. He didn’t want word out and shared to Daehyun that his underage boyfriend was taking this way too seriously, though, he had to wonder to himself if Daehyun talked about him at all.

                “Does anyone other than Youngjae know that we’re dating?” Junhong asked, and Daehyun pressed down on the sandwich and it made a sizzling noise. He shrugged and bit his lower lip. That was a no.

                “People don’t really even know I’m gay. I try to keep that on the down low, and I think that maybe one of my friends knows I’m gay and I talk about my ‘girlfriend’ a lot, but, that’s it.” Daehyun said. “I talk about you to Youngjae though. Just ask him.”

                “Jongup told me that Youngjae doesn’t really approve of you dating younger guys.” he let slip. Now, Junhong wondered if Daehyun would get mad. He didn’t seem like it. He shrugged again and looked to Junhong before smiling a little.

                “He thinks it’s weird. He doesn’t say much about it, but when you left last time, he asked me how old you were and I wasn’t going to lie. He just knew you weren’t 21 and now… well…” Daehyun flipped the sandwich. “He said if he ever finds out you and I had he’s seriously going to call the cops.”

                Junhong dryly laughed. “He’s joking, right?” he asked. “I mean, I don’t plan on having anytime soon, but, still.” Junhong said. That was a lie on his part. He wanted to have with Daehyun because he thought the boy would like it. He thought Daehyun would like him, his body. He didn’t want Daehyun to go to jail because of him.

                “I don’t think he is joking, that’s the thing.” Daehyun said, his brow line wrinkled. “That’s why I really only bring you over when he’s not here and I go and visit you. Youngjae likes you. He thinks you’re a good looking boy and you’re nice, but you’re young. You’re still in high school and he doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like that I’m working and he said I’m like a sugar daddy. I said it’s not like that but he’s still skeptical.” Daehyun said.

                “Should I be worried?” Junhong asked. “Like I said, I wasn’t planning on anything, but… were you?” Junhong asked. They were having lunch. Not serious time. Daehyun put a sandwich on a plate and walked it out to Junhong and sat with him for a second while it cooled down. He folded his hands and he placed them into his lap, and he turned to face Junhong and placed a tender kiss on his lips.

                “I told you, I wouldn’t do anything unless you wanted to. I’m not ready unless you are, and if you want to wait a few more weeks or months, I’m fine. I just want to be sure you’re prepared for it.” Daehyun breathed out. Junhong nodded slowly and he felt the blood rush into his face. He was clueless.

                “What do you mean by, ‘prepared’?” he asked, hoping this wouldn’t turn Daehyun off. Daehyun smiled, and he ran a hand through his hair and laughed out a little.

                “That’s exactly what I mean. I’m going to ask you a few awkward questions and you’re going to need to answer me truthfully in a few minutes, okay?” Daehyun asked him. Junhong, again, nodded slowly and he wasn’t sure he was ready to show just how much if a he was.  The minutes were too quick as well, and once Daehyun was back next to him, he finally took a bite of his food and for a grilled cheese, it was damn good.

                Daehyun took a few bites of his food as well and they ate in silence, not wanting to carry on the conversation, but it needed to be had. Daehyun, after one rather thick swallow, sighed out and put his plate down and wiped his hands on his pants.

                “So…” he started. “I guess the first question is how big you are: length and thickness.” Daehyun said, and Junhong nearly choked on his food because that was the first time he had ever been asked casually about his . That, actually, was the first time he had been asked about it in general. Junhong swallowed though and looked down into his lap and then away from Daehyun.

                “A- oh- at best it’s-“ Junhong felt flustered beyond belief. “Like, seven-ish? More or less. And thick… it’s thick. I don’t know how to say.” he said. Daehyun smiled a little and he looked like he was about to giggle but he held up his hand and made a circle with his pointer and thumb and started going bigger and bigger.

                “Tell me when to stop.” Daehyun said, and Junhong’s throat was closing because he was so embarrassed that when Daehyun got to about the middle part of the tip of the thumb, he squeaked out a ‘stop’, and Daehyun looked at it, nodded, and put his hand down. “Not bad.”

                “Well, what does that mean?” he asked, and Daehyun shrugged. He bit his lower lip and he took another bite. He chewed, and as he did, his face got gradually more and more red. Even for a tanned boy, he sure could show some color in his cheeks. He swallowed, and Junhong looked at him with wide eyes. “It… it just means that we’re about the same size so I guess the next question is, well, when you get off-“ Daehyun stopped himself. “Do you get off?”

                “Yes!” Junhong shrieked, and Daehyun slapped him on the thigh and Junhong took that as a sign to stuff his mouth with more food and be quiet while Daehyun talked. He couldn’t believe he even made a noise like that.

                “As I was saying,” Daehyun started. His cheeks were still pink as pink could be. He put his hand on the nape of his neck and he was sitting on the edge of the couch, visibly uncomfortable with the conversation at hand. Daehyun knew he shouldn’t have been, but it wasn’t exactly his place to ask underage boys questions as such. Jongup knew what he was doing. Junhong was fumbling around in the dark. “Have you ever, like, touched yourself anywhere else other than your junk?” Daehyun asked. Junhong seemed a little confused.

                “Well, sometimes I’ll play with my s but I don’t think so.” he replied. That was probably the easiest question yet.

                “So you haven’t’ put anything in you? Like, you haven’t f- yourself or anything? You haven’t stretched yourself before or…?” Daehyun made a hand gesture as if to try and coax more out of Junhong, but he looked off to the side and he felt like he should lie about it, but he knew that may or may not bring him excess pain later on in the relationship.

                “Should I have by now?” Junhong asked. “I mean, I’ve thought about it and I’ve been close, but I’ve never really… I’ve never gone in.” he admitted. He felt a lot less awkward now talking about it now that he realized Daehyun was equally as embarrassed.

                “It’s not something that’s mandatory, but, most boys have. Gay boys at least. You’ve just come out to yourself even though, right?” Daehyun asked. Junhong nodded.

                “But, like… like I said, can I tell you something TMI really fast?” Junhong asked, and Daehyun nodded. He pointed to Junhong’s plate and lifted a brow and Junhong nodded. He began to talk as Daehyun cleared their food and cleaned up in the kitchen. Junhong swallowed and he looked around and he sat back against the cushions of the couch. “Well, I was watching some stuff, and… okay, I was actually reading up on how to actually just stick stuff in there because I was curious. My door was locked and it was like, two in the morning and I was hard as hell so why the hell not.” Junhong said, Daehyun nodded, but Junhong saw that in his head he had some cogs turning and was imagining this all.

                “So like, I had some lotion on my desk and I set down a towel so it wouldn’t get all over my chair and I had read that it could get messy, so I was just being careful. But anyways, I was reading and it said to get into a comfortable position but to be sure your legs were spread but the best I could do was like…”

                Junhong fumbled on the couch and he brought his legs to his chest and spread them out as best he could in his jeans. Daehyun looked up and his mouth went dry. He was thinking some very bad things and he didn’t want Junhong to know. He kept on talking, but he stayed in the position.

                “So it said for me to really, and it meant really slick everything up. So like, it felt weird and slippery which I guess is good. I took some lotion and I had shaved earlier because I just shave there.”

                “You shave there?” Daehyun asked. That wasn’t a smooth move on his side. He didn’t need to ask about that because it wasn’t like he was thinking about Junhong’s baby soft in the first place. He was definitely going to need to stay behind the counter until after Junhong was done taking, and maybe even then some.

                “Yes. Anyways, so it was all slick and it felt really weird because it was all cold and I was hot and I was leaking a ton and it felt really messy and kind of gross. But, I don’t know. I went to go stick a finger in and I took a deep breath in and exhaled and I just chickened out. I’ve been up to the point of penetration but I just can’t bring myself to do it.”

                “Well, what if I did it for you? Right now.” Daehyun said. . . He began to mentally beat himself up because he did not mean for that to slip. Junhong’s head shot up and his legs fell off to the side and he looked at Daehyun with a dumbfounded expression.

                “Right now?” he repeated. “As in, right now?”

                “Yes, as in right here and right now.” Daehyun said, making his way over to the couch and sitting down on the opposite end. He didn’t want to be anywhere near Junhong unless he was up for it. Daehyun was sure this was his ticket to hell if there ever was one. Junhong fell silent though, and he turned his head and looked over to Daehyun and he began to slowly nod his head. His eyes were wide with some sort of question, and Daehyun was going to answer anything he asked. “Are you scared?” he asked. Junhong, again, nodded.

                “Can we go to your room at least? I don’t want to be walked in on.” Junhong said in a small voice. Daehyun nodded to him and stood, offering his hand which Junhong took gingerly before standing on wobbling legs. This wasn’t , but that didn’t mean it didn’t scare the ever living out of Junhong. He was going to do something with another boy and he was going to be and he was going to say stupid things probably and then Daehyun wouldn’t ever like him ever again. “Are you sure you want to do anything with me?”

                “Why do you ask?” Daehyun asked as he opened the door to his room and Junhong walked in and sat on the bed as Daehyun shut the door. There was a lock on the door and he locked it, but it wasn’t anything Junhong felt like he should have been scared about.

                “I don’t know. I just… are you doing this out of pity for me?” he asked. Daehyun shook his head and he sat on the bed next to Junhong and placed his hand on his thigh and rubbed it a little.

                “I’m not pitying you, Junhong. I want to do this with you so I can help and teach you. If you’re ever uncomfortable or have questions or just, want me to stop, tell me please and I will do it. I like you, so, so much and I don’t want to hurt you or make anything weird.” Daehyun said, angling his body a little more towards the younger. “If you… don’t mind.”

                Daehyun put his hands on Junhong’s shoulders and gently pushed him back so he was laying on the bed. He moved his hands from Junhong’s shoulders to his hips and scooted him up so his head was resting on a mount of pillows, and Junhong inhaled as Daehyun straddled him and looked down with a caring gaze. He the younger’s cheek and smiled, leaning down and planting a kiss on his lips and letting it linger. Junhong closed his eyes and he wanted to wrap his arms around Daehyun’s neck, but he was petrified. Daehyun noticed that.

                “Relax. That’s key.” he coaxed, sitting Junhong up so now their bodies were flush, and Daehyun kissed him again and began to massage Junhong’s shoulders gently. This, made Junhong melt into his touch and he became limp, but his jaw was strong and he kissed Daehyun back finally, feeling more and more at ease as seconds went by. Daehyun wasn’t going to hurt him and he wasn’t going to do anything that made him feel out of his element. Junhong trusted Daehyun, and he wanted to make that apparent.

                Junhong moved his hands to Daehyun’s sides and ran up and down them, finally resting on his hips and tugging up Daehyun’s shirt in a silent plead for him to take it off. It wasn’t like he hadn’t ever seen a bare torso before. He could always handle that. And Daehyun let him. He broke the kiss off and leaned back and in one fell swoop he took his shirt off and discarded it off to an unnamed location in his room. Junhong couldn’t even hear it thud down because he was so mesmerized by the body in front of him. Jongup was built but Daehyun was toned, and that was always the body type that made Junhong’s body feel things he didn’t know if they were natural or not. He stared and his lips and when he put his hands on Daehyun’s bare skin, the older boy took in a sharp breath and Junhong didn’t know if that was good or bad, but he didn’t stop him.

                Everything beneath his fingertips and his palms was his to claim. He didn’t want to hurt Daehyun, but he wanted to mark tan skin with bruises and his s were so cute. Junhong didn’t want to seem weird, but he pinched one and giggled when Daehyun groaned. He thought that was cute, and this was supposed to be about him, but Daehyun’s body was sacred to him and he whispered prayers against his skin and Junhong took the liberty to now be the one to push him back and straddle him. Daehyun’s plush hair encircled his cherubic face in the eyes of Junhong and it made him look like an angel.

                “I want to you.” Junhong rasped out as he cupped Daehyun’s face into his hands, looking at his expression change from peaceable into wonder.

                “I don’t think you do. I think you think you want to me. You’re not ready.” Daehyun said. “I won’t let you be ready, because I’m not ready.”

                “You aren’t?” he asked, and Daehyun nodded. Junhong felt selfish now for saying anything.

                “I don’t want to be ready for a couple more weeks. Right now, I want us to do what we planned on doing. Though, I don’t mind the . Do you, by any chance, have a thing for s?” Daehyun asked, and Junhong was mildly humiliated when he nodded and Daehyun chuckled, now reaching for Junhong’s shirt and he pulled it over the teens head with little struggle. “Yours are so charming. They’re such a contrast to your skin color.”

                “Don’t say that. It makes me uncomfortable.” Junhong admitted. “I look so white, but I’m Asian. I like being Asian.”

                “Do you not want me to make comments on your skin anymore?” Daehyun asked. “Is that what you’re asking?”

                “Yes.”

                “Then I won’t.”

                Daehyun smiled at Junhong and he blushed as a reply. No one had ever agreed with him so willingly when he asked a request. Daehyun though seemed to treat his word as law. He was wanting to just kiss the boy over and over until it got to the point that Daehyun was moving again and he had gotten off the bed and left his room for a few moments. When he came back, he had a towel in his hand and he shut the door and locked it again. Junhong knew that was over and now this was it. He felt nervous all over again and he was embarrassed and he wanted to cover up his body. Daehyun wasn’t looking at him so he grabbed a pillow and hugged it while Daehyun pulled out a bottle from his bedside drawer. Inside too, Junhong saw condoms, and he thought to himself that he was glad Daehyun was a safe guy.

                Junhong was at the foot of the bed, so it wasn’t hard for Daehyun to fold the towel and place it near the head of it. He smoothed it out and made it so it was more long then it was wide. Junhong was thin, but his legs went on for miles. Daehyun wondered what they would be liked thrown over his shoulders as he ed the kid senseless. He looked to Junhong, and saw him with his eyes full of nervous excitement.

                Daehyun got back on the bed and sat above where the towel was, and he motioned for Junhong to crawl to him and sit between his legs and onto it. Junhong looked down as he moved and he felt abandoning his pillow so now his bare torso was exposed again. Daehyun liked it. He liked the way Junhong’s long limbs were so eager to get to him. When he sat between his legs, Daehyun wrapped his arms around his waist and pressed kisses to his back. Junhong felt like he was going to pass out because he was so scared now that he was realizing Daehyun was trying to relax him. It didn’t help when his hand strayed north and played with his sweet spot. Junhong doubled over at first, and then his back arched in utter bliss and his breath was knocked form his lungs. Daehyun smirked against his skin and brought his other hand to do the same.

                “F-!” Junhong gasped out, exasperated from the feeling. Tears filled his eyes from the pleasure and Daehyun didn’t stop.

                “Could you by me just touching your s? Are you that sensitive?” he asked, and Junhong hated to admit it, but he nodded. He hated himself and his kinks and himself again. Daehyun chuckled though and took his hands away from the younger’s body, and he was left breathless and Junhong made a high-pitched whine from his throat.

                “Why did you stop?” he asked, looking over his shoulder. Daehyun grinned and he shrugged.

                “Your pants are even off and I don’t want you to ruin your underwear. Plus, I know multiple s can be painful.”

                “From experience?” Junhong asked. Daehyun’s face flushed red and he didn’t say anything before he leaned back against the wall and he pulled Junhong back with him so his back was flush to his chest. It was then Junhong felt Daehyun’s hands on the front of his pants and a button was being undone. He wanted to scream in frustration because this was going so slow and also Daehyun was going to see him in only a few moments and he hadn’t showed anyone his privates. He felt like a certified kid and his first time showing someone himself, he wasn’t mentally prepared in the slightest. He was physically and emotionally, but thoughts still whirred around fast inside his head.

                His zipper was undone, and Daehyun’s thumbs were hooked under the hem if his pants, and it was deliberate. The dragging of fabric across his skin made Junhong writhe in anguish. He just wanted it to be off, and he looked down and at himself and noticed the way too big bulge behind his boxers and Daehyun was eying it as well. He couldn’t get Junhong’s pants past his knees because his arms were too short so Junhong took them down the rest of the way and off his body. He wondered if he would have to strip fully and then he realized that was a dumb question. Daehyun sighed out a little and Junhong looked up at him.

                “What’s wrong?” he asked, and Daehyun looked startled, but he smiled and he kissed Junhong on the forehead before pointing to the twitch beneath the last article of clothing.

                “It’s big. I’m a little overwhelmed.” he said, and Junhong blushed.

                “Oh.”

                “But it’s not a big deal. I’m just taken back a bit, that’s all.” he said. “I want… I was thinking I want to you off. I want to make you a lot more than once. I want to do so many things to you and with you and that scares me a little bit.”

                “Why does it scare you?” Junhong asked, flipping over and propping himself on his haunches. Daehyun cupped the boy’s face and brought him in for a tender kiss on the lips.

                “Because that means I might fall in love with you. And you’re young, and it’s dangerous to be young and in love.”

                “So I’ve read.” Junhong said. “But let’s not think about that now. Let’s just live in the moment and do what we want without fear or trepidation because though it’s a prospect, you aren’t in love me yet and I’m not yet in love with you. So, Daehyun,” Junhong paused and he presumed his previous position propped between Daehyun’s legs, his own slightly spread so he could take his boxers off. “Let’s just get this on and over with. Make me feel good, because I trust you and want you more than I would have ever anticipated.” Junhong said. “And if you make me feel as good as you claim you will, you can make me as many times as you want.”