When Junhong got his first text from Daehyun, he was sitting in his desk, listening to a rather dull history lesson. He nearly jumped out of his skin and starting dancing down the aisles. It was a simple ‘hey’, but to Junhong, it was everything. Jongup looked over at him and onto his screen and mocked putting his finger down his throat because Junhong had even put a little star next to Daehyun’s name in his contacts. He hadn’t dared to put a heart yet, because he thought that was too much. A smiley face was too little, but a star; Daehyun was a star to him. He texted back another ‘hey’ and added a winky face. Was a winky face too much? Junhong wanted to take to take it back but Daehyun texted him back quickly asking him how school was and what they were learning. He was on a break and Junhong wondered if he smoked or something cool in the back alley of a café. Junhong wanted to rip his skin off because he was sure he was blushing and smoking wasn’t supposed to be cool but Jongup said it tasted nice when you kissed.

                He didn’t relay any of that though. He told Daehyun they we learning about a dumb war and that he was going to get lunch soon thankfully. Daehyun texted back and asked him if it would be okay to bring him somethi ng. Like a bubble tea or some melon bread if he liked it. Junhong looked around at his other classmates and no one seemed to notice him texting, so he smiled down at his phone and he typed back a quick ‘of course!!!’ and tucked it back into his pocket. Jongup looked over at him and smirked.

                “Daehyun ask if he could your yet?” Jongup asked under his breath. The girl behind him looked like she had just heard all the secrets in the world and her face burned red. Neither of the boys noticed. Junhong sputtered though and shook his head quickly.

                “No! Lord, no! He asked me if I wanted him to bring me some snacks and I said yes. Jeez Jongup, relationships aren’t all about you know. He and I haven’t done so much as cuddle and flirt a ton.” Junhong said. The girl behind them, looked around she seemed to be shocked at the words she was hearing. This was some juicy gossip.

                “He seems like he’s walking on glass with you. He and I had gone to at least heavy petting the third time we met up and you guys have only cuddled?” Jongup asked. Junhong felt like he was being looked down upon. “You’re as as can get.”

                “Well, yeah. I’m only 17.” Junhong said. Jongup tsked.

                “Yeah, and that’s the average age people lose their ual ity. Not have their first kiss.” Jongup said.

                “Junhong, you haven’t had your fist kiss yet?” the girl behind Jongup asked, and it was loud enough that the surrounding kids looked to Junhong and began to snigger. Jongup looked around them and he looked to Junhong, who was beet red and he looked like he was going to cry. His mouth opened and closed and thankfully the teacher turned around and told everyone to pay attention, but the word was out that Junhong was a lips and thankfully she hadn’t said anything about Junhong having a boyfriend or something akin to that.

                “Can we talk about this later Jongup?” Junhong hissed out through his teeth. Jongup only rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, turning to face the front of the class again, but Junhong could see his eyes drooping.

                Class seemed to take eons to go by as Junhong waited for lunch and most importantly, to see Daehyun. He was scared of what would happen and he didn’t want rumors to start. He was only a freshman and he didn’t want to be picked on the rest of his high school career. He could always transfer out, but he really just wanted people to get along with him and accept him for who he was. Junhong wondered if Daehyun would linger around and talk to him or if he’d drop off his snacks and hi-tail it out of there. He secretly wanted Daehyun to stay and sit with him and they could sneak off and Junhong could feed him bits of lunch and they’d giggle and Junhong felt horrendously homoual thinking about it, but the more and more the prospect of having an actual relationship dawned on him, the more he found himself having so called ‘fluff’ thoughts and the works of those.

                He found himself only thinking about more adult stuff in the darkest hours of the night, and even then, it always started with him sitting in Daehyun’s bedroom on his bed, and them making out and then for the most part it went black because Junhong was way too embarrassed to even think about it. Anything more than kissing then was so alien to him he didn’t even want to try to imagine it. It was like opening his math book eight lessons ahead and trying to understand that. Even then, Junhong thought he might get advanced math lessons more than boys and kissing and and love. He shook his head and his heart skipped a beat when the bell rang, signaling it was time for lunch.

                Junhong fished out his phone from his pocket and he called Daehyun. He looked around to see what the other kids were doing, and when he decided no one was waiting on him, he stepped outside the classroom and leaned against a wall. Daehyun picked up around the fourth ring and he sounded out of breath.

                “Hey Junie.” Daehyun said. Junhong blushed at the nickname. “I’m almost to your school. I had a hard time picking out what you might like and there was a sudden rush before I left and someone wanted me to help out. Just, wait a little bit, okay?” Daehyun asked. Junhong smiled widely to himself and nodded.

                “Take your time. There’s no rush. As long as get to see you I’m good…” Junhong said. He could practically see the grin on Daehyun’s cute face.

                “You’re such a smooth-talker. Anyways, I’ll be there shortly. See you then-” Daehyun paused, considering adding in a pet name. He stopped himself. “Junhong.”

                “You too.” The younger replied, and then he hung up and sighed out, pulling his phone in close to his chest and feeling his heartbeat. It wasn’t frantic, but it was strong in his chest and he felt it in his neck and in his stomach. It was like when you were nervous but for no reason so you didn’t really panic but your heart just pounded with more force. Junhong didn’t think this would have ever happened because he was meeting someone, but as kids walked by him, he blended in with the crowd and made his way down the main stairs and out the door.

                There were a few other people outside along with him, probably waiting for the same thing he was. He felt a little like a jerk for ditching Jongup though, who was probably sitting up in the classroom, eating by himself, but it wasn’t like he had done the same before. Daehyun had brought him lunch twice if Junhong remembered correctly. Himchan had brought him lunch a ton of other times too, and Junhong was always sitting alone and picking at his own while other students around him laughed and carried on their own conversations about who they had crushes on and what the answer to number fourteen was on the quiz they just took. It was ‘adverb’, and Junhong couldn’t ever talk about his crushes.

                Junhong’s eyes were seared on the gateway, and as if on cue, Daehyun walked between the two brick pillars from the right side and he looked around, and when he caught Junhong’s eyes, he beamed and picked up his pace from there, but he was weary of who was watching. Daehyun, when about halfway to where Junhong was, abruptly slowed and he walked to Junhong while fixated on the ground now. He was shy, and standing in front of the blonde boy, Daehyun blushed.

                “Hey Junhong. I’ve missed you.” Daehyun said.

                “It’s been two days, Daehyun.” Junhong laughed out, looking around to see if any eyes were on them. Daehyun brought his hand to the nape of his neck and just rubbed it absently.

                “I know, but I still missed you. After I called you when I got home I left you alone the rest of the weekend because I didn’t want to annoy you.” he said.

                “I didn’t want to annoy you!” Junhong said back, laughing. Daehyun finally looked up through his lashes and Junhong wasn’t sure if he had worn mascara but they were long and his eyes were perfectly outlined in black. It must have been for work, but Junhong’s breath temporarily got caught in his throat as he looked at him, and he had to rip his eyes away before he said anything stupid. The two stood there awkwardly for about a minute before either of them said anything.

                “So…” Daehyun started out. “I got you a standard milk boba and a little cake. Chocolate. Do you like chocolate?” he asked. Junhong nodded his head.

                (Chocolate was actually one of his least favorite flavors of cake, but he didn’t want to tell Daehyun right then and there.)

                “Oh thank God. I actually just assumed a sweet boy like you might like a sweet flavor.” Daehyun said to him, and Junhong rolled his eyes.

                “Oh, you.” was all he could say before Daehyun handed him a small decorated bag, and Daehyun urged him to look inside of it. When he did, aside from the food, there was a small note, and Junhong took it out and looked up at Daehyun.

                “Should I read this now?” he asked. Daehyun nodded, and Junhong put the bag on the ground and then he unfolded the note, looking at it and trying to decipher Daehyun’s impossibly sloppy handwriting. He had to squint, and Daehyun probably thought he was illiterate, but it read;

                Dear Junie,

                                first of all, can I call you Junie? I think it sounds cute. You’re really cute, so I think it suits you. Second, this Friday, I was hoping you could come over again and hang out. Youngjae will be out with his friends so we have a little more peace and before you think I’m trying to do something sly, I’m not. Yet. I’ll go at whatever pace you need because I really like you. This is lame. Enjoy the food.

                Junhong glanced up at Daehyun. “That really was lame.” he said. Daehyun blew his bangs out of his face and he was blushing hard. He seemed to look for the right words before he settled on looking behind him, to the right, and to the left, and when no one was looking, he kissed Junhong on the cheek and Junhong thought he might have screamed, but nothing came out from his mouth even though it was wide open and his hand was covering it because oh my God!!! Jung Daehyun kissed my cheek on school grounds and if anyone saw I’m dead but that was still super romantic!!

                “I’m not too good with words. Sorry. But… about the date?” Daehyun asked, and Junhong was still in shock, but he quickly snapped back to reality and was smiling so wide it hurt his cheeks.

                “Oh, of course! I’d be happy to hang out with you again on Friday!” Junhong said. “And, I wasn’t thinking about doing anything weird. I mean, it’ll be the second time we hang out and like, Jongup has made fun of me for stuff but that’s alright.” Junhong said, laughing a little. Daehyun’s face was scrunched up though with slight displeasure.

                “What do you mean he’s making fun of you?” he asked. Junhong shrugged.

                “He keeps saying I’m going like, super slow with everything and that by the time he was on the second date he would’ve have gotten to third base… whatever that means.” Junhong said, staring off into space now. He never quite got those baseball terms when it came to how far you’ve gotten with someone. Daehyun crinkled his nose though and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

                “Well, Jongup matured really fast. I don’t expect anything out of you and if you’re ever too nervous to make a move but you want something to happen, tell me. I’ll walk you through it. I mean, look, Junhong, I want us to work out and last a very long time because I feel so, so happy when I’m with you and when I’m looking at you so… so just ignore Jongup and I’ll text you later, okay? You should go eat now. I don’t want you missing lunch.”

                Junhong nodded. He scrunched up the bag in his hands and he looked into Daehyun’s eyes and now was one of those moments where he wanted to make a move but he couldn’t, and he wasn’t going to ask Daehyun. He wasn’t going to have his first kiss on school grounds and other people were looking at them. Daehyun couldn’t even hug him, so he settled for a light touch on the arm and then he turned around, and walked away. Junhong wanted to call out to him and just talk some more, but he knew that would be childish. Sighing, he made his way back into the building, up the stairs, and then he sat next to Jongup and pulled out his tea and cake. Jongup side-eyed him.

                “You two do anything down there? Quick blowie?” he asked. Junhong smashed the empty bag into his hands and Jongup jumped.

                “Will you stop being so crude? Daehyun and I are going slow and there’s nothing wrong with that. He kissed me on the cheek and that was all he did because he knows I’m scared about everyone knowing that I’m…” Junhong stopped and looked around. He lowered his voice. “Aren’t you scared about people knowing that you’re gay?”

                “Not really.” Jongup said, picking at Junhong’s cake. “I thought you hated chocolate?”

                “Daehyun said he didn’t know what to get me so he got me the sweetest thing because I’m a sweet boy…” Junhong said as he pierced his straw through the top of his tea. Jongup rolled his eyes and he might as well have gotten it for him because at the rate he was nibbling on it, Junhong wouldn’t even have a taste. “He and I are going to hang out again on Friday at his place. He said Youngjae will be away so we have more privacy but he said he wasn’t planning on doing anything sly.”

                “He’s lying.” Jongup said, shaking his head. “Jung Daehyun isn’t that kind of guy.”

                “Maybe not the Daehyun you knew but I trust him!” Junhong hissed. He wanted to shout, but he was in a classroom. He down some of his tea in hopes the tapioca balls got stuck in his throat and he’d choke and go to the nurse so he could be rid of the insufferable Moon Jongup; addict.  “I think maybe on Friday I’ll kiss him.”

                “Look at you, making plans.” Jongup laughed out. “His lips are so nice. Plump and warm and they feel even better on your body than anywhere else. He’s a real sweet boy, I’ll give you that, but when he’s in the mood he’s y as… as…”

                Junhong was glaring at him and he wasn’t happy in the slightest. “I don’t want to hear about it. I don’t want to talk to you if you’re going to be gross about everything when it comes to him and me. And I’m not saying is gross it’s just… not everything is like that for me. I’m scared of thinking about it even and like, you’re so used to it and I bet you’re ashamed to have a friend like me.” Junhong said. Jongup shook his head though and ate more of Junhong’s cake.

                “More like vice versa. I bet you’re not too thrilled about having a friend who’s a total maniac. I mean, I’m not really a , but I just crave touch a lot and I bet it’s really uncomfortable for you to hear about it. Sorry. I’ll watch what I say more often.” Jongup apologized. Junhong just nodded as he drank a little more of his tea. With a straw that big, he couldn’t help but to have his thoughts wander. He seemed to pause and he looked at Jongup and lowered his head.

                “Is he… is he good in bed? And does he top or bottom normally?” Junhong asked, his face cherry red. Jongup sniggered and he leaned back into his chair and tapped his chin.

                “I’d say he’d good. He’s versatile too. He’s loud though. Like, really loud. It’s hot as hell but you definitely can’t do anything when Youngjae’s home or I’m sure he’ll call the police. He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t really approve of Daehyun dating younger boys. He says it’s creepy and, well, if he heard about the between Himchan and me I’m sure he’d have a heart attack.” Jongup said. Suddenly, Junhong felt like his heart was going to sink into the pit of his stomach and be burned up by all the acid because he didn’t want Youngjae to not like him.

                “I- I don’t think Daehyun and I are going to… you know,” Junhong paused and made a few crude hand gestures. “anytime soon. I just… I was wondering you know. I can’t help but to be curious.” Junhong said. Jongup nodded in understanding and he pushed what little cake was left towards Junhong.

                “I know. And I also know how scary first times are. First kisses are scary because it’s step one and from there you have to get more and more intimate and trust me, when I lost my ity, I was scared out of my wits and I wanted to cry. My brother never told me anything about because after he kind of caught me looking… at boys… he distanced himself. My mom is fine with it and I also know you haven’t come out to your parents and you haven’t told anyone except for like, me and Himchan and Daehyun and Youngjae know but does anyone else?”

                Junhong shook his head.

                “That’s not a problem. You don’t even have to come out to anyone if you don’t want to. I think it would be beneficial if you told at least your mom though. She seems pretty liberal. I know… I can go with you and tell her with you. Do you think you’ll want to tell her with Daehyun with you actually?” Jongup asked. Junhong shrugged and he was getting uncomfortable because he felt like people were listening in.

                “I think I’d want both of you there. You’re my best friend and I remember when I came out to you it was more like an accident then a confession.” Junhong laughed. Jongup nodded and he hummed.

                “I remember you and I were walking around and you elbowed me and pointed at some person you thought was a girl and I told you they were a boy and you just told me you’d still them, and that’d you’d any boy. You’d only boys.” Jongup laughed. Junhong has to stuff cake into his mouth before he got excited over the prospect because when he and Jongup talked about boys he got excited and talked really loud. Now though, he had Daehyun to think about, and he swallowed his cake and smiled to himself.

                “Yeah. I… I really hope my first is Daehyun. I like him a lot I think. He and I get along well.” Junhong said, blushing and touching his lips absently. He wanted to kiss Daehyun really bad, and Jongup propped his chin into his hands and grinned at his friend.

                “I hope you and he work out well. I mean, I liked him a lot but the more time I spend with Himchan the more I realize I like him a ton. He spoils me rotten and I- I don’t know.” Jongup sighed out. “I really like him. I hope he feels the same. He’s busy with school and work and sometimes I wonder if I annoy him but the way he kisses me and he’ll tell me I’m beautiful and I hear him slip out that he loves me when he thinks that I’m asleep and it scares me but I makes me feel so, so incredible.” Jongup told Junhong. “Daehyun’s a lover boy. He’ll come to love you. I’m sure.” 

                “Good.” Junhong said. “I think I’ll grow to love him too. He’s sweet and when he holds my hand I feel so safe and he kisses me on the cheek and it’s really cute. Daehyun’s really, really cute.” Junhong giggled. Jongup nods. He doesn’t comment back because he likes seeing his friend’s cheeks turn pink over a boy that even though is his ex, he makes Junhong happy and he hadn’t seen Junhong this happy in a very long time.

                The lunch bell rings and Jongup and Junhong return to their seats and as Junhong sits, he’s handed a piece of paper by the girl who sits behind Jongup. She smiles, and Junhong opens it, reads it, and he feels his body tremor with fear and relief.

                I won’t tell anyone, and sorry for eavesdropping because I like(d) you, but now that I know you’re gay, I’ll cheer for you! Good luck with you boyfriend and get that kiss!

                Friday came too fast for Junhong’s liking. He felt weird with his outfit because he thought he should have maybe dressed better but Jongup assured him his jean and a navy V-neck would look good on him because it contrasted his pale skin and the only reason why he knew this was because Himchan was a fashionista and Junhong just nodded along. He had a nice pair of shoes that he wore too and Jongup convinced him to skip the beanie and he parted his hair weirdly and he didn’t like it. He admitted he looked good though, and when Daehyun texted him that he was outside, he really didn’t have additional time to think about how he looked.

                “Where are you going looking all good?” his mom asked. Junhong stopped dead in his tracks right before he was going to leave and he flashed a smile.

                “Just to hang out with someone.” he said, and his mom laughed out.

                “A pretty girl?” she asked. Junhong laughed dryly and when Junhong opened the door and she looked past him and saw Daehyun, her expression didn’t change. “Or a pretty boy?”

                “It’s not what you think mom.” Junhong said, trying to hide his blush. Now was his chance to come out and he was passing right by it because he still wasn’t ready. “He and I are just friends. I’m straight.”

                “I was just kidding with you anyways Junhong.” his mom said, wanting to ruffle his hair but it was done up. “Just be sure if you and…”

                “His name is Daehyun. He’s Jongup’s friend and now he and I hang out too.” he explained.

                “Well, if you spend the night at Daehyun’s just be sure to call.”

                “Yes ma’am.” Junhong droned, and before his mom could inquire any more, Junhong had walked out the door and was trying to fight back running to Daehyun and jumping into his arms. Daehyun simply smiled at him and he even was able to suppress a blush and he waved to Junhong’s mom and she waved back. Daehyun though, put his hand down and he wanted to touch Junhong, but he wasn’t going to do anything until he was out of her line of sight.

                “We need to walk.” Junhong said under his breath when he got to Daehyun, and Daehyun looked a little concerned, but he nodded and they walked in silence until they were around a corner and Junhong’s house was out of sight. He sighed out and it looked like he was going to rip out his hair, and Daehyun put his hand on his back and Junhong was shaking.

                “I was so close to coming out but I couldn’t. I told her I was straight.” Junhong sighed, and Daehyun just smiled and rubbed his back and Junhong curled up against his chest and rested his head on Daehyun’s shoulder. He really cursed his height because the younger boys were always supposed to be the smaller ones and he was bestowed the genes of a giant, but Daehyun didn’t mind as he brought his hands to lace into Junhong’s soft hair and he shushed the boy. “God damn, Daehyun, it’s hard.”

                “I know Junie. But, for the time being, let’s not think about that and let’s go to my house and watch a movie. I even got some candy and some soda so you and I can hang out and just, be guys you know?” Daehyun said, and Junhong nodded, still enjoying the feeling of being in Daehyun’s arms.

                “Also, am I spending the night at your house? My mom said if I was I needed to tell her.” Junhong said, and he thought that might be a weird thing to ask since they were dating and all, but Daehyun has such a warm sounding chuckle and he nodded.

                “If you want to stay you can. I don’t mind.” he said. Junhong nodded again and he stepped back from Daehyun and the older boy grinned. “You and I can cuddle if you don’t mind. I mean, I think that’s not too much to ask and if you don’t want to, I don’t mind that either. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

                “I- I- actually I was thinking about k-kiss…” Junhong stopped himself, but Daehyun was already smiling. “Never mind.”

                “No, tell me what you were thinking!” Daehyun laughed out, pushing Junhong lightly and Junhong was flustered beyond words.

                “No! It’s embarrassing!” he yelled back, and the apples of Daehyun’s cheeks were pink and Junhong thought he was so cute. “I thought about kissing you today.”

                “Look at you, all grown up.” Daehyun smiled, taking Junhong’s hands and lacing their fingers together. “I can kiss you today if you want. We can take some time and I’ll teach you how to kiss, and it’ll be slow and awkward, but once we get the hang of it, I hope you’ll like it.” Daehyun explained. Junhong thought he was going to transcend into another being because just hearing Daehyun talking about kissing him made his heart beat so hard that it could have fallen out of his chest and he had to put it hand over it so it would keep in his skin.

                “You’d really teach me how to kiss?” Junhong asked. “Isn’t that weird though like aren’t people normally really natural about it?” he asked. Daehyun merely shrugged.

                “Some people are and others need some training. Who knows? First time you might be a natural and you might bump noses with me and I’ll probably laugh because when I kiss I get really giddy and our teeth might clack but when we get the motion of it down you and I will kiss a lot. I think we will. I hope so. To be honest, I’ve been thinking about kissing you all week.” Daehyun whispered, and Junhong was going to pass out because all the blood in his body was running to his face and he wished he wasn’t so white because Daehyun was giggling at his reaction.

                “Have you really?” he asked, and Daehyun nodded.

                “You have such pretty lips and pretty skin and you’re gorgeous Junhong and you’re like, the boy of my dreams. I- oh never mind.” Daehyun said, and he looked guilty.

                “What were you going to say?” Junhong asked. “Was it something naughty?”

                “What if it was?” Daehyun asked, and Junhong shrugged.

                “I’d be a liar had I not thought about things with you. I mean, hell, I asked Jongup when you brought me lunch. I was curious and I hope you’re not mad.” Junhong said.

                “I’m not mad. But, I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Kissing you will be enough to tie me over until you think you might want more. And if you don’t, that’s fine too.” Daehyun said. “I like you.”

                Junhong didn’t know what to say and his mouth hurt because he was smiling so wide and Daehyun said he was going to giggle when they kissed and Junhong was sure he was going to smile so hard that his lips would stretch out and that would be embarrassing, but they didn’t say much else as they walked to Daehyun’s house in an afternoon haze. The sun was on the verge of setting and Daehyun seemed to sigh out with content a lot. He would smile to himself and Junhong thought he was so cute, and he was a lucky dumb boy who got someone so beautiful who liked him. He still wasn’t sure about a lot of things in his life, but Junhong was sure he liked Daehyun.

                Daehyun too, was sure he liked Junhong, and the more he thought about kissing him, the more jittery he got. Subconsciously, he picked up his pace to get to his house faster, because something so innocent had never made his body react so much and he needed to get this out of his system. Kissing wasn’t a big deal, but with Junhong, Daehyun wanted this for him and not himself. For the first time, Daehyun didn’t feel selfish about a decision in a relationship and that made him feel like he liked Junhong even more, because Junhong made him like himself as well.