Kai walked faintly to the place that used to be your apartment. His eyes were red and swollen, his face looks pale and he looks thinner than usual. It’s only few hours left to your funeral and he decided to pay your apartment a visit. Your apartment has been untouched and abandoned since you were gone.

He unlocked the door and opened the door slowly. He still can hear your scent which he love the most. As he took another step inside, he could feel another pain hit his fragile heart. Another tears escaped his eyes when he saw your glass cabinet.

He took one of the frame from the cabinet and stared at it. You still have our pictures.. His pale lips curled up into a smile as he caresses your face softly.

The moment when he saw your smile in that picture, he just realized that he never saw that smile again ever since you met Yewon. How he wish he could make you smile like that again. He gritted his teeth as he start to cry again while hugging the picture frame close to his aching heart.

“Ga Eun—“ He called your name between his cries.

Still with his teary eyes, he walked to your living room where both of you used to be cuddling together until you fell asleep. He bites his lips and walked to your bedroom. He stopped after he opened the door, the room feels really cold, everything feels really cold.

You used to jumped and hugged his neck when he opened your bedroom’s door, your arms around his neck, he missed that warmth of yours. Kai gritted his teeth again when he saw all of your stuffs that he gave you have become ashes on your bed.

Your couple hoodie.

Birthday gifts.

Anniversary gifts.

Kai’s trembling hand reached for the half-burnt gown that he gave  you when he confessed to you for the first time. “You still have it..” He whispered weakly and hugged it close to his  chest, doesn’t care that it will make his white shirt become dirty.

He hugged your gown for a few minutes before he shifted his gaze to the window near your bed. Just by seeing that window already make Kai drowned in billion pains.

He remembered when the police explained the whole things to him and when they said you jumped from that window, he couldn’t say or think anything straightly. He feel nothing but pain and guilt.

Slowly, he made his way to the window frame and looked down. “You’re always afraid of heights..” He whispered again, another tears escaped his swollen eyes.

Just then, he realized there’s something written on the wall near the window frame. He caresses your hand writing softly before he read it.

Kim Jongin, I love you.

Kai burt into another round of tears. He grabbed his own hair before he flips everything around him. He th