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If I Die YoungEunhyuk’s POV
Trust doesn’t come with a refill. Once it’s gone, you probably won’t get it back and if you do, it will never be the same.
Leeteuk trusted me. He had faith in me. Leeteuk believed in me. He gave me the responsibility of Super Junior when he left for the military. Leeteuk gave me the responsibility of the members. But look at what’s happening right now… Everything, everyone was falling apart.
Ryeowook fainted and thank god we got there just in time. Seeing Ryeowook unconscious like that in Kyuhyun’s arms scared me to death. I couldn’t breathe properly; I couldn’t find the strength to even say anything.
“Hyung, what did the doctor say? Is Wookie okay??”
Sungmin nodded, his face finally relaxing a little. Everyone sighed out in relief and the nurses finally gave us permission to go into Ryeowook’s hospital room. I asked the others to go in first and sat back down outside alone. I closed my eyes and buried my head in my arms.
What have I done? I promised, I promised with all my heart to Leeteuk. I promised to stand in his spot and look after Super Junior and the members. I promised to monitor each of the members and look out for them. Leeteuk never failed, never ever failed. But when he left me in charge, this happened. Look at this! Not long ago, the group was shouting at each other, everyone was crying and Ryeowook even fainted! If Leeteuk was here, this wouldn’t happen. If maybe Leeteuk had made Sungmin or Kangin in charge, this wouldn’t happen. If Leeteuk was here… Would Ryeowook even catch cancer in the first place? I don’t even dare answering that question. It’d only make me feel worst. The only thing I know now was that I have failed. I have not only failed Leeteuk but the members who looked up and depended on me to lead the group. If the fans knew about this, they’d be disappointed in me too and questioned amongst themselves why did Leeteuk put me in charge.
“If I told you, how many times I’ve sat alone on the shower floor, crying, I promise, you’d all cry too.”
“I’d rather spend the rest of the months left with all of you than take a risk on my life.”
I wish I could describe to you this feeling right now. It’s overwhelming. I felt like I wanted to break something, I felt like I wanted to jump down a building, I felt like I was going to throw up, I felt like screaming and just crying until I have absolutely no more tears. I wiped the tears that have escaped my eyes and took out my phone, dialling a very familiar number.
“Yawbosehyo?”
I couldn’t say anything. My mouth felt heavy and lips felt too dry to part. My heart broke at the sound of the voice and I quickly pressed end call without even saying anything. I started crying then, my ugly face becoming a sobbing mess. My phone suddenly vibrated and I looked at it. Of course, hd’d called back. Of course. I wiped my eyes and finally, pressed answer.
“Hyung.”
There was a long silence before he finally answered me.
“You’re crying, Eunhyuk ah.” Lee
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