Donhae’s POV

A raindrop falling on your cheek is a kiss from someone that lives in Heaven and is watching over you.

It’d rain whenever I came down here. It wasn’t the heavy type of rain, it never rained so heavily. It was the type of rain that made you feel peaceful and sleepy, the type of rain that was light and cool. I put on my hat as I walked along the beach of Mokpo. How long had it been? One year? Two years? My hometown where I grew up, where all the memories came back to me, my hometown with my family and friends, my omma and … Appa. I turned a familiar path and walked through the tall green grasses.

“It’s been a long time hasn’t it?”

They say that from land we were made and to land we will be buried. I gave a full bow, my head touching the ground. I said a little prayer and finally got up to my feet. If you could see my heart right now, I’d bet it was shrivelled up and broken, trying so hard to beat on its own. If you could see my face right now, I’d bet it would make you cry as well.

“How have you been, appa?”

I took out a bottle of beer and placed it next to the grave and took another one out for myself. Like I said before in a documentary, appa doesn’t drink much and so do I for that matter. But we rarely met and I guessed, it wasn’t wrong for a son to want to have a drink with his father, right? We rarely did that when he was alive since I was underage. I picked up the beer bottle and pour it around the tall grasses from appa’s grave. Once I was done pouring it all out, I sat back down and clinked my glass to the empty one.

“Cheers, Appa.”

I drank half the bottle in silence while I gazed at my appa’s beautiful carved name. I sat back and closed my eyes, enjoying the silence and peace. Was appa seating next to me? Was he enjoying the peace and quiet with me? I could feel him so near. I smiled when I realized the rain had stopped.

“Mianhe. I wanted to come here more often but I’ve been busy.” I suddenly felt the urge to explain. “With D&E concerts and comebacks.”

“I’m doing well in my dramas too and sometimes I wonder if you ever got the chance to watch me? If you did, I hope that I made you proud, appa.”

“As fun and busy I am,” I paused wiping the tear that had escaped from my eye. “I still think about you every day, appa. I miss you so much.”

I chuckled, more tears falling. “Is it weird that I still think about you so much even though it’s been eight years since you died?”

“I hope you miss me too, appa.”

“When the members tell me stories about their vacation or their appas, they think that I must be fine now, that I’m over your death. I smile and laugh with them but… It hurts so much. I … I don’t think I will ever forget about you. I keep telling myself that one day, we will get to meet again and I keep promising to myself that when we meet again, I’m never going to let you go. I want to hug you and stay by your side forever. I never want to lose you again.”

“Mianhe.” I chuckled, rubbing my eyes. “I always end up crying when I see you.”

I looked around and then sat up straight, suddenly remembering what I wanted to say. “Appa, have you heard about Leeteuk’s hyung appa and grandparents? Are they up there with you? Do you know if they’re okay?”

“Leeteuk hyung was so broken.” I shook my head. “But at least, I know, if they’re up there with you, it means that they’re fine and happy with you. Please help me to take care of them, appa. Leeteuk hyung thinks he failed as a son but I don’t think so. When you died, he u