Previously:

The younger flopped on the bed, his eyes drifting to his phone on the floor. He was so confused. Luhan told him to wait, but can he believe it? Luhan was far from him at the moment,  and Jongin was near him. He also doubted Jongin too. Can he really give everything that Luhan wasn't able to give him?

Sehun shook his head. All the events that happened today and thinking about them, it gave him a headache.

He decided to just sleep it off and think of them when he feels better.

From: Luhan

To: Hunnie

Good morning, Sehun-ah! We’re starting our tour soon. I hope you got enough rest. Don’t think too much about the things I told you yesterday.

But I’m still waiting.

Sehun closed his phone, shaking his head slightly. He was so confused. He doesn’t know what to do anymore.

Kyungsoo immediately approached him as he went out of his room.

“What would you like to eat?” The shorter male asked.

“Omelette, please.”

Kyungsoo nodded, returning to the kitchen to cook for Sehun. The younger sat on the couch, turning the television on. He kept changing channels, trying to find something decent to watch.

He felt the couch dip slowly. Turning his head to the side, he eyes Jongin, who apparently was staring at him.

When the older noticed that he was staring, he immediately averted his eyes, a faint blush appeared on his cheeks.

“I-I’m not here to ask for your answer,” Jongin said, still averting his gaze from the younger male. “Just so you know.”

Sehun raised an eyebrow, and chuckled softly. “That’s cute, Jongin. I’m not ready to answer anyway.” The younger answered bluntly as his eyes went back to the television.

“Did…” Jongin started hesitantly, but shook his head as he looked back at Sehun. “Did Luhan-hyung contact you, or something?”

Sehun froze, he did not expect that Jongin would ask that all of a sudden. He pushed his head back and gazed at Jongin.

“Yeah.”

The older male nodded, looking back at the television. “Did you reply?”

Jongin could see the younger shake his head from his peripheral view. His eyes remained glued on the television, quite scared to see what Sehun’s expression was at the moment. “Why not?”

Sehun sighed, he didn’t want to answer Jongin, but his mouth apparently moved on its own.

“I’m confused. I want to believe Luhan, but there’s a big part of me that tells me not to.” Sehun replied. “He lied to me before. He can do it again.”

Though the younger tried to mask the emotions in his voice, Jongin heard them clearly. He wanted to wrap his arms around the boy and comfort him, whisper sweet nothings in his ear until the younger forgets about Luhan; but he knew he couldn’t do that. Not when Sehun is at his most vulnerable state. No matter how much he wanted to do it, he couldn’t use this moment to capture the younger’s heart.

He wanted Sehun to love him for him, and not because he wanted to forget about Luhan.

Jongin remained silent instead, holding onto his arms to prevent them from touching the younger.

“Hyung,” Sehun squeaked out. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” Jongin looked at Sehun, eyebrows quirking up in confusion. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I’m such a bad person,” Sehun mumbled. “I just thought of using you to forget Luhan.”

Jongin’s eyes widened slightly, but he tried to hide it from the younger. He wanted to wrap his arms around the younger, but then.

“I can’t do that,” Sehun continued. “I’ll only hurt you if I did.”

Even though it hurt, Jongin nodded in approval. He didn’t want Sehun to do it too, but after hearing the idea coming from the younger’s own mouth, he couldn’t help but feel happy.

“I’ll wait for you, you know.” Jongin said, stretching his arms out.

A smile graced the younger’s lips, and before he knew it, tears suddenly dropped from his eyes.

“What—“ Sehun reacted after feeling a drop fall on his hand.

Jongin said nothing and immediately wiped the boy’s tears with his sleeves. Sehun, after seeing the action of the older male, wrapped his arms around Jongin.

“Why can you be him? Why can’t I fall in love with you?” Sehun mumbled on Jongin’s chest.

“You can, Sehunna,” Jongin assured him. “Just try. You can forget him, and when that time comes, I’ll welcome you with open arms.”

Here I am, with open arms. Nothing to hide, believe what I’ll say.

Sehun immediately pulled back after hearing the song from behind the wall. “Kyungsoo-hyung, I know you’re there.”

Kyungsoo smirked and rolled on the wall, appearing before them with pancakes and omelette. “I wondered when you were going to the kitchen for the food. Didn’t know our Jongin here was keeping you company.” He said as he placed the plates on the table in front of the two maknaes.

“Your food is there too, Jongin.” Kyungsoo said as he walked back to the kitchen.

Jongin nodded, grabbing his plate and placing it on his lap. “Kyungsoo is such a mood ruiner.”

“You tell me.” Sehun mumbled to himself before he placed a big slice of omelette in his mouth.

“What?” Jongin asked, failing to hear what the younger said.

“Nothing.” Sehun replied, swaying side to side as he ate his breakfast.

“Okay. As long as you’re happy.” Jongin mumbled to himself as well, but the maknae heard it. A smile graced Sehun’s lips as he took a quick glance at Jongin.

“Still no answer?” Minseok said as he glanced over Luhan’s phone, seeing that there were no replies from the maknae.

“I hope we can finish the tour early,” Luhan wished. “I feel like he’s slipping from the grasp when a day passes. What if Jongin—“

“Shh.” Minseok cut him off. “If Sehun really loves you, and trusts you,” He coughs, mumbling the last few words to himself so Luhan wouldn’t hear him. “He’ll wait for you.”

Luhan shrugged his shoulders, glancing on his phone again. “I hope so too.”

“There, there.” Minseok patted the younger’s back.  “Let’s go or we’ll be late for our schedule.”

Luhan nodded and held onto Minseok’s arm. “I hope he’ll reply soon.” He mumbled.

Minseok couldn’t help but smack Luhan’s head. “Pabo. Let’s not think about that right now, okay? You have to be happy on our performance later.”

“Okay.” Luhan replied lifelessly.

Minseok shook his head. What am I going to do about you? He thought to himself.

After their schedule, everyone thanked the staff for the job well done. Luhan, after finishing his share of greeting, he immediately went to the dressing room for his phone in case Sehun decided to reply. A huge smile graced his lips as he saw a notification that younger has finally replied.

He dropped on his knees, quite hard that the members whipped their heads toward his direction, as he opened the message. He froze in his spot, tears flowing from his eyes as he dropped his hand together with his phone. Minseok immediately approached him, grabbing the phone from his hand. His eyes, too, widened as he read the message. He crushed Luhan into a tight hug, whispering a few comforting words to the younger, but Luhan remained frozen.

From: Hunnie

To: Luhan

Luhan-hyung, I’m sorry that I have to send this while you’re in the middle of promoting, but I don’t want to keep you waiting for something I cannot give.

No matter how many times I tried to trust you, I can’t bring myself to. You lied to me once, and I’m not sure if you might do it again.

I want to forget you, I don’t want to hope for something too much, and then I’ll be brought down so hard if ever you don’t keep up to your promise.

I don’t want to risk anything anymore, hyung. You’ve hurt me too much and I don’t know if I can go back to being the old Sehun that you loved, with you.

I’m sorry, hyung. I love you, I’ll always will, but I think we just aren’t meant to be together.

I hope when you come back here, we can be back to friends. No awkwardness.

Thank you, hyung, for everything. Good luck on your promotions there. Don’t tire yourself out. Come back here safely, okay?

I’m so sorry.

“It’s my fault,” Luhan said, his eyes still unfocused and he was still in his spot. “If only I wasn’t a coward, he would be here with me. If only I wasn’t afraid to love him so much, then the both of us wouldn’t be hurting like this. If only—“

“Shut up!” Minseok shouted. Luhan finally moved and looked at Minseok, tears still flowing from his eyes. “It’s not your fault, okay?” Minseok started, tears were also falling from his eyes. “You were afraid, everyone gets afraid. I won’t blame any of you for this matter. Both of you had done something wrong but please, please, don’t blame yourself, Luhan.”

Luhan chuckled bitterly. “It is my fault, Minnie. No matter how you look into it, I was the one who drove this relationship into this mess. I was the one who decided to distance myself. I was the one who thought that Sehun wouldn’t be hurt with my actions. I was the one who thought that I’m the only one who’ll get hurt.”

Luhan wiped the tears in his eyes, but new ones kept falling. “I was the one who drove Sehun into depression and I broke his trust.”

Minseok hugged Luhan tighter. “Sehun has his faults too. He could’ve talked to you. He could’ve stopped you from distancing yourself. He could’ve called you back because I’m sure you’ll walk back to him.”

The younger shook his head. “You guys don’t know how weak Sehun is. No matter how much he looked capable on the outside, he is a weak person. I took advantage of that. He can’t do the things you’ve mentioned. He’s too weak to do that.”

Minseok sighed and shook his head. No matter what he’ll say to stop Luhan from blaming himself, the younger would always say something about Sehun. After listening to Luhan’s last statement, he couldn’t help but think that Luhan really is to blame.

“I’m sorry,” Minseok whispered, rocking Luhan to calm the younger man. “Let’s go back to the hotel and rest. Today was too tiring.”

Luhan nodded and stood up shakily. His energy was drained from all the emotional and physical stress that he lost consciousness as soon as he stood up.

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