I slammed my head down against the hard wood table, the pain in my head magnifying. About two weeks ago I had been released from the hospital and ultimately placed in the care of 2pm, Taecyeon’s group.

Occasionally during the weekends I’d get sent to the head quarters of Got7 Tensions between everyone had most defiantly been running thin, especially in the last four days. Someone cannot be put in the care of people that they do not play well with and have someone to expect that everything is going to run smoothly.

“Yo~ JangMi, what’s up?” Jackson smiled, plopping onto the seat across from me. He was dressed in his usually dark blue skinny jeans that hung low, a baseball cap, and a plain white tee. I gave a small polite wave, followed by a thumb up sign before glaring at the back of Mark’s head.

“I’m fantastic too! In fact, I’ve got a date with fate!” He smirked, taking his cap off and running his fingers through his hair. I raised an eyebrow up at him; his eye smile smirking, like it withheld the secrets of the world.

“He’s got a date with a girl named…YoungJi, I think.” YoungJae answered, strutting into the kitchen/dining room area. I nodded my head and then looked at Jackson again, waiting for more answers.

“She’s beautiful, funny, and…”Jackson rambled, sounding like a teenage fan girl. I fake gagged at him, almost choking on my saliva in the process. Mark turned around and glanced at me before returning his attention onto bandaging Jr’s wounds.

I turned and looked at the emotionless BamBam sitting on the sofa in the living room, just playing on his phone. He is attached to his phone like it’s his lifeline, like it’s his saving grace. Every since his comment at the hospital nothing has changed with him; he’s still a , he’s like them. All the while something has been up with him, he’s hiding something is what I’d managed to convince myself of.

Of course I’d tried to explain all of this to 2pm, using writing as my comunication, yet they did not believe me. Whether it be his shady actions, his excessive, secretive use of his cell phone, or anything else, there was something he was keeping hidden from everyone. If there was one thing I was positive about it was that there was something that he was hiding.

I pushed myself up from my sitting position, the stiffness in my bones making its-self ever so present. I bit back a groan, not making even the tiniest of sounds.

“What’re you doing JangMi?” Mark asked, not even looking back at me. I opened my mouth at him, wanting to question him as to how he knew; silence filled the room.

I walked over to him, my hands roaming his upper back, watching him intently place bandages on Jr. Just a bat of my eyelashes and Mark was gripping onto my wrist.

“What?” He spat, no real anger behind his voice, just a playful anger. Using my other hand I moved it to his cheek, brushing an eyelash off of it. Instantly he released my hand and returned to his handy work; the room was suffocating.

From the corner of my eye I watched BamBam, he thought he was being sneaky but he was far from it. I’d lived with devils disguised as angels before; he’ll have to do a better job.

Even though I haven’t said a single word since the occurrence at the school, doesn’t mean I haven’t been trying to speak. I’ve been trying really hard to talk again, I just couldn’t. It was almost like there was a large blockade that was preventing me from doing so. The frustration was being to mount me, to the point where everywhere I went was suffocating. I’d try to speak and nothing would come out.

“What are you looking at?” BamBam asked, glaring at me. I stared at him before playing with Mark’s shoulders again.

“Be nice BamBam.” Mark warned, no longer taking care of Jr. I walked in front of him and examined his face, new bruises and cuts decorating it. He smiled, standing up and walking away from me and out of the room.

“You’ll never have him, you know that right?” BamBam piped, following Mark out of the room. His comment stung, but it was a true statement. 

From the very beginning I think I’d always known that I could never been with Mark, and that’s what hurt the most. I let out a cough, blood now decorating my skin.

Not now, please not now. I begged my body, trying to resist coughing anymore. The rest of Got7 were in the other room discussing their plans for school, disputes, challenges, and such, not even hearing me. I fell onto my knees, the tile floor giving no cushioning, my knees stinging. I clutched onto my chest, a pain resurging at a painful, gut-wrenching rate.

These had been an on going problem since the school episode as well, for no reason at all. Taecyeon had researched about what could be causing it for months, yet he found nothing. It was without a name, a mere side effect of everything I’d gone through.

A burden.

A pain.

A regret.

A mistake.

Karma.