He stood there watching them push him away, kick him in different areas, slap him repeatedly, punch him in his stomach, take out all his money that he kept for his food expense, etc. Chanyeol cannot do anything but repeatedly watch that familiar scene over and over again. He wanted to help Baekhyun, the guy in his class, but he was too scared to do so.

 

Coward.

 

That is the right word that he calls himself. He badly wants to help him, to be his knight in shining armor and yet he just stood there watching the guy he loves being bullied like that.

 

----

 “Okay class! Take your seat I’ll take your attendance now.”  Their teacher started to call one by one until she reach Byun Baekhyun’s name.

 

“Byun Baekhyun.” No one answers. Chanyeol looked at Baek’s seat but he still not coming from the break. Worry and anger crept through him. Worry that the short kid was still at the back of the gymnasium, unconscious. Anger, for him, because again he didn’t do anything to save Baek.

 

“Dammit.” He silently cursed himself. He clenched his fist and stood, decided to run back at the same palce where he last saw Baekhyun. But before he can even step, the door opened and the guy he was just thinking came in….full of wounds and limping back to his chair.

 

“Sorry teacher, i-I was a bit late. I just had a little accident.” He explained as he takes his seat.

 

“Are you okay?” Their teacher asked him full of concern. Who wouldn’t be? He had a lot of wounds and bruises at his face. Stain of blood was obvious at his uniform. And the way he walks, he literally limping and trying to hide the pain every time he took a step.

 

“Oh. Yeah. I’m okay. Just fell from the stairs a while ago.” He lied.

 

“That’s bull!!” Chanyeol said out loud not noticing he was still standing and said those words aloud. All of his classmates turned their eyes on him.

 

“Excuse me Mr. Park? Did you just cuss?” Their teacher got his attention, but he was still on focus with the across him.

 

! I’m the here. I’m… so useless. He said to himself.

 

As much as he wants to say that Baek was lying, what’s the used? The short kid will just let it slide like he always does. And here he is, he saw everything but he was such a coward.

 

“No. I’m sorry.” He murmured.

___

 

“What’s that scene back then huh Yeol?” Jongin asked his friend.

 

“I wanna die right now Jongin.” It was now after class and the two of them decided to just stay for a while in front of their school.

 

“Hey! Do not ever say that!” He scolds Chanyeol. “No matter what the problem, dying is not the answer.”

 

“But I’m useless. I cannot do anything for him. Even for once, I didn’t do anything. I just watched him suffer over and over again but where the hell am I? Hiding? Running away? Avoiding? I do not even why I am scared? I hate myself. That’s why I always think, I am not the right guy for him.”

 

“This is about Baek isn’t it?”

 

“It’s about me. Why is it in terms of Baek’s need, I cannot save him. I-I wish there is a part of me that could at least save him every time he was in danger.”

 

“You know you can save him. You know you can help him, it is just that…”

 

“Help? Save? I can’t even step closer to him. How can I save him?” Frustration started to eat him.

 

“You’re just afraid. Afraid that if he saw you and you failed being his knight in shining armor, he would hate you. You’re afraid of failing him. Maybe that’s why you didn’t want to show yourself when in times like that. You prefer to hide and just watch. But Yeol, you know there is a limit to that. If you can’t really be the one by his side, better yet give it up.”

 

“I-I can’t. You know how much I..”

 

“I don’t think so. If you really do, you’ll find a way to be with him especially when he needs you.”

 

Silence befell upon them. Chanyeol keeps thinking what did he and Jongin just talked about. What if next time, he sa Baek in the same situation, will he be there? Will he be the one to save him?

 

They both decided to just go home, since he was to tired. He wants to stop by at the guy’s home to see if he’s okay and to at least help him with tending his bruises but again he hesitated.

 

They were now reaching the bus station across the street when a particular person caught their eyes.

 

Byun Baekhyun.

 

He was crossing the street but the street light for vehicles started to hit green but Byun was still in the middle of the road.

 

Panicked started to build inside him.

 

For once please let me save him.

 

Before he can even realize he was running as fast as he can towards Baek who was about to be hit by a motorcycle.

 

-----

Baek open his eyes and saw an unfamiliar face.

 

“W-who are you?” He asked, wincing from the pain he felt on his lower back.

 

“Are you okay?” The guy put him down carefully.

 

“Ah yeah. I guess.” He tried to stand straight but he can’t due to the sprain he got from the bullies before.

 

Chanyeol let out a big sigh.

 

“Who are you?”

 

“I’m Channie. And I’ll be the one who will save you from now on, unlike the guy I know.” Bitterness can be heard through his word.

 

“I don’t understand.” Baek was a bit confused of what the guy was talking about.

 

“Nothing. Do not mind it. Just remember okay. I’ll be here everytime you need me Byunnie.”

 

Baek just looked at the guy in front of him. “Byunnie?”

 

“Oh sorry. Can call you that?” He scratched his head.

 

“W-Well I guess.” He felt a bit of embarrassment. It is the first time that someone called him like that. “By the way thank you for saving me.”

 

“It’s nothing.” He pats the shorter guy’s head.

 

---

“What the hell? Why can’t I remember saving him from that motorcycle huh? Why?” Chanyeol was frustrated. He tried to remember what Jongin just said to him.

 

He was completely clueless about the incident. The last memory he had was they were about to cross the street and saw Baek then after that he woke up the next morning, on his own bed.

 

“Maybe because it was not you who really saved him.” Jongin said.

 

“You just said I saved him!”

 

“Yes maybe your body saved him but it was not you who really did it.”

 

“Com’on. I do not understand.”

 

“Okay maybe let us just go to..” Jongin was cut because Baek approached them.

 

They were at the school’s gymnasium and there PE just ended a few hours ago.

 

“Excuse me.” Baek walks toward them, still limping. Even though he had those bruises, he still insists on going to school. “I-I just want to give this to Channie.”

 

At first they were both clueless as who Channie is, but Chnayeol realized it was him because the shorter guy was giving him a box of cookies. “Thank you for saving me yesterday. I really really appreciate it.” He said, as a blushed crept through his cheeks.

 

Again Yeol was confused as he tries to remember.

 

“Did I really saved you?”

 

“eh?”

 

“No it’s nothing. Thanks for these cookies.” He said coldly.

---

 

It’s been a year since Byun kid kept on giving Chanyeol different gifts. Like snacks.

 

It’s also been a year since he discovered that he has an alter ego. Jongin brought him to his uncle who is a specialist in psychiatry.

 

There were times that he cannot remember a particular situation when Baekhyun was involved. Especially that time they did an experiment.

 

Baek was again the center of bullying. Again those feeling that he wants to help him and he cannot move even a single finger.

 

After that day, Jongin brought him to his uncle again with the video of him saving Baekhyun from the bullies. Chanyeol watched it over and over again but he cannot remember a single thing about it.

 

“It was dissociative identity disorder or DID.” The doctor started to explain. Chanyeol just kept quiet trying to absorb everything. “This is where you developed another personality within you due to a traumatic experience you just had. Jongin told me that your later ego started to came out last year when Baekhyun was going to be hit by a motorcycle. I’m sorry to say this but, since the present you cannot do anything for that kid, you tend to develop another form of you who is capable of doing what you cannot do. So when it comes to situations like that, your other persona came out.”

 

“This is absurd!” He blurted. “How is that possible?”
 

“Then how can you explain that video? You did not remember anything right?”

 

“Then am I crazy?”

 

“No. do not say that.” The doctor said. “It is just your way to escape your weakness.”

 

“I want him out! Is there any medicine that I can take to shut him out. Totally.”

 

“I’ll prescribe you something.” The older man took out his prescription pad. “Just take this as scheduled.”

 

“Thanks.” Chanyeol just walk out and tried to understand what he just learned.

---

 

“Hey are you okay?” Chanyeol asked Baek. They are now in hospital.

 

“Channie?”

 

It hurt him to hear him say that name again. But he knows, Channie was the one who saved Baek and not him.

 

“Oh. You’re finally awake. I was so worried.” He pretended to be that guy.

 

“Uhmm. Thank you.”

 

“Geez. Enough with the thank you okay. What do you want? I bet you’re hungry. I’ll get something.” He moved closer to his bed, looking closely how physically hurt Baek was. He doesn’t want to admit it but, he was thankful that guy saved him again, but how he wished it him.

 

The shorter guy didn’t reply. He was just looking at Chanyeol.

 

“Can I say this?” Baek said, a little bit embarrass.

 

“Say what?”

 

“I think my like to you turned into love.”

 

Chanyeol was taken aback, though he knows deep inside it was not him whom he loves.

 

He loves Channie, he’s alter, not him.

 

He just smiled painfully.

 

“I love you too.”

 

Yeah. Since high school I did love you.

 

“But I am not the one you love Baek.”

 

Again, it brings confusion to Baekhyun. “Eh? No. I know what I feel about you.”

 

“Actually, I don’t know how to explain this to you. Why did you love me? Is it because I kept on saving you?”

 

“Well it started to that point but, even though most of the time you got mad at me, push me away I still felt the same way.”

 

“But I am not the guy you fell in love with Baek.” It pains him to say that.

 

“I don’t understand.” He raised moves closer to the taller guy.

 

“I know this may sound a bit insane but this is the truth. I am different from him.” Chanyeol was trying to find the right words to explain everything to him. “Look. I actually have a psychiatric disorder. I have this alter ego of mine. I bet he already introduced himself to you before, I guess over six years ago. His name is Channie. The one who always saved you was him and I’m the coward one. He’s the most caring one and I am the one who always push you away. He’s your knight in shining armor and I am nothing but the useless one. He’s the one you fell in love with and I am nothing to you. You might not understand it now but what I’m telling you is I do not deserve someone like you.”

 

“w-wait…”

 

“Shhh.. When the time comes that he came out again, please do not let him go. I know you will be safe with him. Unlike me, you’ll be always in pain because I can’t do anything for you. So when he shows up again, hold him. There might be a possibility that he might stay and I will be gone for good.”

 

“I cannot follow. Please, you’re scaring me..” Tears started to form in his eyes.

 

Chanyeol smiled at him. He held Baek’s head closer to him, making their foreheads touched.

 

“You’ll understand it soon. Just please rest for now. Remember, whether Channie or Yeol, they both love you. Okay? And in the future, no matter whom you’ll end up with, just please be happy and I don’t want you to be hurt. I love you Byun Baekhyun. Remember that.”

 

 

---

A/N: alright... I'll end this here. Sorry for the ending. i want to hang it like that since i do not want to do a cliche ending.. hehe.. i'll leave the end to you guys. hahah

nonetheless i hope u guys did enjoy reading it.

ja~ thankz for giving ur time for this fic.