“...and cut! Good, really good. You just blend yourself into him. Good job, Junho-shi.”

“Thank you director. I just tried to feel his emotion.” I said happily.

It was the last scene for the day. I feel so relieved to know that it’s finally over. I mean, as much as I enjoy acting and being another person, it’s just really taking it’s toll on me. There was a time when I feel like I really lost my own personality. That the real Lee Junho has gone and Sean Park or Kang Hyun Soo or Park Hee Gun or any other characters I’ve ever played is taking over me. Now I must sounded like someone with multiple-personality disorder.

“Hyung! Why are you so late? Is it that hard for you to pick me up on time?” I nagged childishly as soon as I get to my van.

“Mianhae Junho-yah. I didn’t know that you would finished early today.” My manager said earnestly with a light smile. He sure know how to deal with trying-to-be-hot-tempered Lee Junho. Just smile and be calm.

Even back then when I was still an Idol, I was known as someone who’s easily get angry or irritated over a little things. They even said that I was the only Idol with such a names – even when it wasn't completely true. Deep down I admitted that it might be true though. It just that I hate it when things didn’t go as it supposed to go and it always seems that things never go the right way. So, I would ended up nagging, whining, pouting, or even shouting if I need to. I know I shouldn’t  act this way. But somehow, I know that I’m still the same old Lee Junho whenever I’m being like this. It wasn’t right, was it?

BREAKING NEWS: NICHKHUN AND TIFFANY BREAK UP

Korean famous couple, Nichkhun and Tiffany were rumoured to break up yesterday. This rumour spread up online after a comment from one of the organizer's worker that supposed to arrange their engagement party next week. “The contract was cancelled, there won’t be any engagement happened.” 

Earlier this month Nichkhun and Tiffany were announcing their engagement after more than 3 years of relationship. The party was supposed to held up at Lotte Hotel Seoul next Thursday. It was one of the most anticipated party of this month as all 2PM’s members were going to make their public appearance after 2 years of hiatus. It was also rumoured that the party was cancelled due to the incident between two out of six 2PM’s members earlier this week. The official from both JYP and SM hasn’t addressed anything since the rumour come up to the public.

I threw the newspaper across my living room angrily. After all this years living as an Idol, I’ve already get used to such a rumour, but I don’t think this one is going to be good. Not only for me, but also for 2PM, my brothers. I hurriedly jogged downstairs as I saw a familiar black car from my apartment windows. I saw Taecyeon Hyung once I get out from my apartment building. He was talking on his phone, frustrated looks was put on his face. I guess I’m not the only one.

“Just tell me where are you right now! We can just talked it out, can’t we?” 

I heard him talking in low voices. I could tell that he was controlling his emotion. We don’t need another face become a headlines too, didn’t we? I adjusted my hat to cover my shaved head. It was only 2 days since I released from military, but somehow I already faced to a cruel part of life called problems. So much for being civil again.

“Okay then, promise me that you’ll call soon.” Taecyeon Hyung ended his call. He turned to me with a huge smile on his face, a totally different expression from few minutes ago. “I missed you Junho-yah! I really like your hairstyle.” He teased me as he give me a light hug. “Let’s go. I’ll treat you Bulgogi.”

“Who are you talking to Hyung? It’s your new girlfriend, isn’t it?” I asked him jokingly, trying to change my own mood.

“Yeah, we can say that Wooyoung act like a girl now.” Taecyeon Hyung answered sarcastically. “Let’s go.” 

Another things of Lee Junho that never changed even now is that I like to be alone sometime. That was the reason why I’ve already sweating like a marathon runner at 7 in the morning. Beside the fact that early morning was the only time I have out of my hectic schedule, I liked working out alone peacefully since no one barely hit the gym at this time of the day. But I guess today was an exception.

“So you’re here in early morning, huh?” A familiar not-so-Korean-faced man said as he start to runs on the treadmill beside me. “No doubt I never saw you around whenever I’m here.”

“Then why you’re here now? Isn’t it too early for you to get up now?” I said in between my panting. “I want to  be alone. Can’t you just leave me alone?” I mumbled.

“It’s a public gym Junho-yah.” He answered simply as he just faster his pace. “Beside, this is my gym, don’t you remember that?”

It taken me aback. After we split up, I’ve been avoiding everything related to 2PM. I barely took interviews or going on variety shows because I don’t want to be asked about them. I never took a job that there was a possibility to meet anyone of them. But why I’m still going to one of Chansung's gyms? I always thought that it was fine since he would prefer his Seoul gym instead of the Ilsan ones. Then again, it was his gyms, of course he would come once in a while, and there’ll gonna be a day when we'll met each other. So much for being alone and forgot them, Lee Junho.

“Hyung, what do you want to talk about actually?” I said as I put my glass on the table furiously. It was already our second bottle tonight, both of us obviously know that I would fell asleep soon if we have another round of drinks – even when Taec Hyung were the one who drank two third of it.

“We’ll talk once Minjun came, just wait for a little while, and stop drinking if you can’t handle it, just eat the meats.” He said calmly as his eyes kept on going back and forth of his phone and the restaurant's door. “Why you still can’t drink even after going on military, Junho-yah?” He teased me.

“Is that even correlated? Military and soju? I thought you’re the smart one Hyung.” I rambled as I already lost a little bit of my focus. “I don’t think he would show up tonight Hyung. He was probably still in Daegu right now Hyung,  having a good time with his homies.” I pouted.

“Aish this kid! okay then, I’ll tell you why I insist to met you and Minjun tonight. I know you guys just coming back from military yesterday, me myself just being around for 3 days now, yet you know what already happened between us for the past few days right?” He talked clearly even after few glasses of soju. Completely different state with what I was in right now.

“What do you mean? About his break up? Are you really believe those rumours Hyung?” I said real fast like I was rapping. Now I understand why he chose to sit on the secluded spot of the restaurant, then why we weren’t just talk in my place? It was safer, wasn’t it?

“Lower your volume, please. We shouldn’t talked about that here, that’s why we need to wait for Minjun, he said he would come and we could go to his new studio. Where is this old man actually?” Frustrated looks plastered on his face again.

“New studio?” I asked as I poured another glass down my throat.

“Changddai Hyung got them a new studio few weeks ago. He said it was a good place to talk since it was near the JYP building, in case we need to come there to talked about the contracts.”

“The contracts?” I asked again after drinking another shot.

“Yah! I told you to stop drinking already! You already drunk enough that you could only hear a word from my sentences. I’ll really leave you here if you passed out!” Taec Hyung said furiously. He took my glass out of my hand and guarded it in front of him.

“Why? I’m not drunk Hyung. Just tell me about the contracts. What happened with our contracts?” I rubbed my eyes trying to focused.

“Well after what happened last week, it seemed like that both of them weren’t going to renew their contract.” His previous frustrated expression turned into sad in a matter of seconds. “I’ve talked to Channie, he said that those incident won’t do any good to us, it’s just opened up an old wound for him. About Woo, well, you know he won’t tell me where he is right now, but I don’t think he was somewhere around Korea right now.”

“Yeah, Chansung come to my place last night. He lost some weights and his face look tired. The same exact state with those dark times before.” I choked at my last word. Reminiscing over those dark times in our earlier years as a group only bring sadness and regret to all of us. “Those things about him being a bully is up in the air again. Poor Chansung.” I was almost crying remembering how Chansung, my best friend and closest brother suffered again. “What happened Hyung? What happened between all of us actually? You always know what happened, aren’t you, Hyung?” I was pleading to get an answer.  

“This time I really didn’t know Junho-yah. They won’t tell me. I even talked to Juseob Hyung, Namyoung Hyung, heck, I even met Jinyoung Hyung personally, but no one give me an answers. And somehow this morning Nichkhun got us even further down the hole. I don't think that we'll be able to survived this time Junho-yah.” It was rare to see Taec Hyung became this desperate. Even from the start, he was some kind of cornerstone that held us together. He made sure that everything – everyone – was in their right place to begin with. But now, I can tell that he was done with all of that.

We were sat there in silence for another half an hour. Lost in our own thought, just embracing each others presence. Taec Hyung phone vibrated, his forehead scrunched as soon as he opened his phone.

“Did something hapened?” I asked worriedly. He was completely engrossed on his phone that he didn’t notice that I was taking my confiscated glass from him. I quietly drink the rest of our fourth bottle dry.

“He wasn’t coming. He was at the office right now, possibly signing a contract.” He said suddenly, pissed off.

“What ar-?” The next thing I know, everything turned black.

We were running side by side silently for almost 15 minutes. I was slowing my pace when I suddenly heard his calm voice.

“I’m not coming here to disturbs your alone time. It just I saw you from the counter and I can’t helped it but to say hello. We’re still friend, aren’t we?”

It startled me. “Of...of course we are.” Unsureness was clear in my voice. I didn’t know where my next words coming from, but I regreted it as soon as I let it out. “If we are still friend, why you didn’t tell me what happened back then? What happened between you and Wooyoung?”

Chansung turned to me. As our eyes met, I realised that I’ve said something I shouldn’t, at least not for now. It seems that I always lost a friend because my own words. Lee Junho, it was your true colour, huh? He stopped running and left without saying anything. I was alone, again.

“I'll leave first.” I said simply to everyone in the room. I took one last glance at each of my brothers face. I would never forget this day.

I quickly gathered my things and walked out the door without saying anything. No one were saying anything to me too. Once I was outside the hallways, I could hear a footstep following behind me. I stopped in my tracks.

“Hey Lee Junho, you know, they want their Jack to stay.” A beautiful and soothing voice said out loud.

Jack. It was ironic. Jack of all trades, master at nothing. That was exactly Lee Junho's character. I don’t want to be that way forever. I want to be in the spotlight without being compared to anyone. I know it must've been my own insecurities, but maybe it was my time to finally being great at something. Beside if they really want me to stay, they shouldn’t sent him to talked to me. Now it was the real Lee Junho, naively competitive Lee Junho.

“I’m not Jack anymore, I’ve decided not to renew my contract. You don’t need to worry that I’m gonna compete with you from now on. Beside I’m not that greedy to stay around when everyone was leaving, I have loyalty to this group.” I know I shouldn’t talked in this manner to him. It wasn’t his fault. Well, I wasn’t even sure if it was anyone's fault. I was too tired to blame anyone else.

I took a quick glance at his face before going on my way again. I could see his hurting expression, but there was nothing else I could do about it. What had been done was done. Now, it’s time to go. My apologize was stuck at my tongue. Sorry.

Hi everyone! It's good to post another chapter in this busy week. Been caught up on my study and organizational thing, it was really take it toll on me :( But I guess writing helped me again! Well, I was really happy that KhunFany became real and I hope for their happiness forever & always, but somehow those idea of breaking up come to my mind and I decide to put it on the story. So, here we go, hope you like it!