PART TWO – POCKET

                I still remember the day you texted.

“Meet me at the park, please.”

I still remember slipping the long prepared box into my pocket and heading out.

                And of course, I still remember the moment I was minutes late and witnessed you in his arms; new rings on your fingers that symbolled your engagement.

I still think about it now – it’s hard to believe that missing a bus would change my fate, my life. But I also wonder, that maybe it was fate that I missed it. Maybe it was fate he took a car, arrived first to clear up the argument and proposed first.

Maybe it was fate telling me he was better for you.

The weight of my pocket sank, as well as the weight of a cracking object hidden deep inside my left chest.

The anxious feelings and memorised words I had prepared for today faded into a dark hole inside, where all my hopes and reasons for happiness disappeared. All my strength seemed to leave me, like I was being abandoned.