PART SIX – REMINISCENCE

Here I am.

Here I stand, in front of the wide gates with endless bushes of pretty flowers. I am hesitant to enter. The memories flow back from a year ago and I grasp the yellow roses tighter.

However, the comfort in knowing they are your favourite gives me that spark of hope, enough to ignite the courage to walk in.

I stop at the area where family after family, and friend after friend broke down in, and slowly bend down to place the bouquet gently on the cement square below your carved name.

I also leave the ring box I had failed to give a year a half ago; just so you can know, that I have never forgotten. It’s a symbol of my failure. My failure to propose, my failure to tell you how I felt, my failure of waiting so long, and my failure, of being unable to forget you despite the time that has passed.

With my eyes closed, I take in one more deep breath, and for that split second, I could’ve sworn I picked up the scent you beared – the same scent in my memories. It puts a smile on my face, and I treasure the very moments where I bend before a cement stone in the middle of a cemetery.

It’s all strange now. The only happiness I manage to find is when I’m beside your spirit.

Why? Simple.

Because no matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t able to forget you.

I loved you with all my heart, and you took that along with you when you left.

The reason I feel happiness beside your cement stone, is because my heart is down there. With you. You buried my heart with you.

I’m left with nothing, but memories and reminiscence.

You’re gone and I’m left to remember the paths we never walked, the hands we never held, the places we’ve never been and the smiles that were never for me. The times where you were never mine.

You’re gone… and I’m still here – where I’ll always be; at that place where you will never return to.

END