Chapter 15 : The Mistake

Woo Bin saunters along the misty road. He doesn’t know where it heads, but it’s the only road there is in this dark forest closing in on him. He squints to catch the tall figure standing few feet ahead of him. The lady in the pale blue dress smiles brightly at him. 

“Mom..?” Woo Bin hesitates to call her too loud, afraid it might make her vanish into this mist enveloping the path ahead. He approaches her slowly. She looks paler than the last time he had seen her, but her eyes gleam in a brilliant shade of brown.

Her small hand reaches his face; the warmness spreads into his skin and stings behind his eyes, “Binie-ah…”

He bits the inside of his mouth, the tears trembling to fall any moment. It has been more than eight years since he last felt that warmth down his cheeks.

“You’ve grown a lot my love,” she says, gently rubbing his cheek. He leans into her hand. “Oh sweetheart,” she coos, cupping his face in both her hands, her eyes examines him worriedly. “Does it hurt a lot?” she asks him. He doesn’t feel any pain so he shakes his head carefully.

“You did well sweetheart,” she assures him. But he doesn’t know what he did well on. He stares at her blankly. “Aww my little pie,” she squeezes his cheeks making a pout on his lips. Her angelic smile never leaves her face; it is the first time he has seen her smile this brightly. Perhaps he had missed it too much, he thinks. “Do you like him my sweetums?” she asks.

“What are you talking about mom?”

She giggles at his confuse written face. “The angel I sent for you my love,” she says. The angel she send for me…Woo Bin tries to remember any such creature. His eyes expand when that beautiful boy invades his thoughts suddenly.

“He…mom…”

“Yes my love. He is my gift to you,” she chuckles and plants a small kiss on his forehead. “I’m sorry I had to leave you so soon sweetums,” he murmurs, “But I’ll always be watching over you two.”

“Mom…you aren’t angry?” Woo Bin tries to search her beautiful face for any sign of rage, but he finds none.

“About what my love?”

“That dad…he…I mean h—”

“No sweetheart, I’m not angry with him,” she says, smiling as she always did. Woo Bin doesn’t understand her; he can’t imagine not being angry if his lover was to marry another when he is dead. “If he didn’t marry, my angel will never come to your life sweetheart. He married because you needed a mother. He never m—”

“No! I never asked him to replace my mother!” he didn’t mean to shout, but his voice overpowers his anger.

Her hands slide down his arms and grip at his wrists; she holds them tight as she peers into Woo Bin’s eyes. “Listen Woobinie…” he says, “Your father, just because he loves that woman doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me anymore,”

“How can you even say that? How can he love two people at once?” he snaps.

She takes in a deep breath before cupping his face once again. She holds his gaze in hers, “I’m his past, his love that he can never forget. That lady is his future. His hope of building your world once crashed before him. He waited too long to move on. I was too worried to move onto the other side when both of you couldn’t let go of me so badly. But now that he has moved on, I feel relieved. And now that, that boy is there for you, I finally have the heart to leave you both.”

“Mom…”

“Listen my love,” she says, his head ever so gently, “That boy…you shouldn’t be scared of him. He will never hurt you my sweetums. He can never hurt you…because you’ll become someone he cannot live without. Don’t be scared to give him your heart my love…” she pecks him on the cheek.

“Mom…” he calls her slowly, thinking deeply of her words as her hands runs through his locks of hair.

“Hmm…?”

“I…I don’t think I can forgive him.” Her hands pause at his words, but she smiles as she continues caressing his head again.

“Why is that my love?”

“If…like father, if he falls in love with someone else, I don’t think I can forgive him. Every time someone else touch him, I feel the urge to break their arms. I don’t know what is happening to me mom,”

She chuckles. “Oh dear…” she takes a moment to breath before catching his eyes again, “Seems like my Woobinie is a goner eh?” she chuckles again, “You love him that much?”

Woo Bin nods. He knows there is no need to deny his feelings from her. She is the person who always kept his secrets every time he got into a fight or got caught skipping class. She has been more than a mother to him; she was his friend too to some extent.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, he will never hurt you. He is afraid too, just like you…or perhaps even more. So you have to protect him sweetheart, alright?”

Woo Bin nods at her as her hands withdraw from his face. “M—mom…” he calls her when she starts furthering away from him. No…she can’t leave yet. I’ve a lot to ask her…I have a lot to tell her…“MOM!!” he screams when she disappears into the mist.

His eyes snaps open and he shoots up, breathing rapidly. His hands come up to clench the front of his white tank top. He can feel his heart beating through his shirt. A dream…?

“Are you alright?” a familiar voice asks him and his eyes darts in the direction of that voice. Jong Suk’s worried eyes greet him near the edge of the bed. He stares at the auburn brown eyes. My angel…? Woo Bin can’t help a small smile invading his lips.

“Woo Bin? Are you alright?” the boy repeats, scooting closer to examine him. A groan leaves Woo Bin’s lips as he tries to lift his hand but it feels too heavy. Now that he is awake, he can feel all the pain returning to his wounds. The afternoon at the school flashes before his eyes; the last thing he remembers is seen Jong Suk’s teary eyes so close to him as he stared worriedly at Woo Bin.

“In the school, what happened?” he asks quickly.

“You fainted after the fight,” Jong Suk informs him, reaching the nightstand for the glass of water. Woo Bin eyes around wondering if he is at the hospital—after all he was beaten quite heavily. But relief sighs from his lips when the familiar bunk bed and the pale blue walls greet his eyes.

“How did I get home?” he asks, taking the glass of water Jong Suk had offered. He gulps it down in one go, liking the coolness soothing down his dry throat.

“Seung-hyun helped me bring you home,” he says.

At the mention of his ex-childhood friend, Woo Bin remembers the reason he didn’t die at Seungri’s hands. “How is he?” Woo Bin asks, handing back the empty glass.

“He only had few scratches and a bruised face. And mom treated them,” he tells Woo Bin.

Woo Bin only nods in acknowledgement. He leans back against the headrest and stares at Jong Suk. Perhaps his mom was right, he thinks, perhaps I shouldn’t be too scared…to accept my own heart.

“Jong Sukie…” he calls him taking in the sight of his angel. Woo Bin can’t help but notice how beautifully fragile Sukie looks. His round big eyes gazing him with anticipation of the next question…Woo Bin smiles, so glad his mother has gifted him with someone he can fall in love so deeply and dearly.

“Hmm…?” the boy’s big eyes never leaves Woo Bin’s. He feels relieved that those eyes no longer hold any fear for him.

“My head hurts,” he mumbles.

Jong Suk’s face splits into a wide smile and he scoots nearer to Woo Bin. He leans against the headrest and pats his shoulder. Woo Bin takes the signal and rests his head on the thin shoulder, wrapping his arms around his slender waist. Sometimes it amazes him how this boy never rejects his touches, never fears his touches. At times like this, Woo Bin can’t help but wonder that perhaps, he too is someone special to this boy.

He wasn’t lying when he said his head hurts, in-fact it is pounding with pain, but he also wanted to feel Jong Suk’s warmth more than anything right now. He wanted to hear his heartbeat more than ever. He closes his eyes when Jong Suk’s soft fingers brush through his dark hair. He likes the way those fingers play with his hair. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jong Suk asks him after a while.

“What?”

“That you got hurt because of me,” Jong Suk murmurs, his voice becoming low.

Woo Bin chuckles, pressing his lips slightly against Jong Suk’s neck. He feels the boy tense suddenly, but soon he relaxes. Woo Bin breaths in his scent, it reminds him of his younger days when his mother used to give him baths in the evenings.

“You smell like a baby,” Woo Bin tells him.

Jong Suk nudges his head, “Don’t try to change the subject,” he warns, making Woo Bin sigh. 

“What difference would it make?” he asks, sinking back into that baby scent.

“Then…why did you do it?”

Silence stretches on while Woo Bin tries to figure out how he should answer that question. Why had he done it that first time? Sure he was in the denial state of his real feelings for this boy at that time, but he never wanted anyone hurting him. He wanted to protect him with his all…because he loves him.

“Because you are someone special to me,” Woo Bin mumbles in a hushed voice that if Jong Suk wasn’t sitting as close to him as he was, he wouldn’t have heard it.

Jong Suk who is in the process of playing with Woo Bin’s hair stops and blinks, surprised at Woo Bin’s words. Jong Suk looks into Woo Bin’s unflinching gaze and his eyes widens when he sees something firm yet soft. The look on Woo Bin’s face let Sukie know that he had said exactly what he had heard earlier and he isn’t taking it back or searching for excuses to take it back. I’m special to him…he repeats in his mind, trying to figure out exactly what those words mean as he stares down on the bruised face leaning on his shoulder. He feels Woo Bin ruffles around, his breaths beating against Jong Suk’s neck, those dry lips presses tightly onto the crook of his neck sending a wave of electricity down his spine. One thing he is sure is that he isn’t disgusted with Woo Bin’s touches, he never was from the beginning…Why do I let this guy touch me so freely? He asks silently. Is he someone special to me as well…?

“Were you scared?” Woo Bin’s voice breaks him from his thoughts.

He raises his brows and questions, “Of what?”

“On the rooftop I mean…”

Jong Suk sighs and leans back, eyes fixing on the white ceiling. Was he scared? He sure was, but what was he scared of is what he isn’t sure anymore. He was disgusted with that Seungri guy’s bold touches, he hated the way he overpowered him. He was scared when Woo Bin didn’t seem to give a damn about whatever happened to him, he feared worse at that time. But, more than all of that, he was scared of Woo Bin getting hurt when he charged into that bunch of thugs.

“I thought Seung-hyun hates you,” Jong Suk says, not wanting to answer the first question.

Woo Bin sits straight. He stares at the wall where there is a picture of two primary school kids grinning widely at the camera. Jong Suk has always wondered who that other kid next to Woo Bin is, but he never dared to question.

“He and I were childhood friends since primary school,” Woo Bin says, a faint smile hoovers over his face.

Jong Suk hesitates for a while, but he makes up his mind and asks, “Why does he seem to dislike you though…?” He doesn’t expect Woo Bin to answer, but to his surprise he does.

“When we were in middle school, we formed a gang. We used to fight like crazy. He always had my back and we feared no one as long as we had each other and somehow we became the best fighters around the town,” Woo Bin sighs before continuing, “But two years ago, in our first of high school, something happened because of me,” he pauses for a while and takes in a deep breath. “Seung-hyun had a little brother called Kibum,” he says, and Jong Suk feels something unsettling peaks in him, “He was really beautiful…like you…he was often mistaken for a girl,” he chuckles at the old memories, “One day, when we were away, one of the gangs we had beaten kidnapped him in order to take revenge from us,” Woo Bin stops every now and then and takes an audible breath, as if to hurl back down the emotions trying to escape through his eyes, but Jong Suk sees the visible pain reddening in those dark eyes. His heart wrenches at the sight of a hurting Woo Bin. He doesn’t like seeing Woo Bin like this; it hurts to watch him go through such pain. Jong Suk reaches close and wraps his arms around Woo Bin’s waist. He feels Woo Bin tense a little at the unexpected touch, but he ignores it and leans on Woo Bin’s chest, carefully as not to hurt his bruised body too much. He never thought there would come a day when he would be the first to initiate any kind of bodily contact with another man, but this just feels right. Right now he feels like Woo Bin needs this to handle that pain. He listens to Woo Bin’s pounding heart picking up the speed and Woo Bin’s hands circles around him to pull him tighter onto his chest. Woo Bin leans down and plants a small peck on Jong Suk’s hair.

“When we went there, it was too late. Those bastards had already violated our little boy and there was nothing neither of us could do. We beat the crap out of those guys. We were both angry, at them and at ourselves. Two days later…we found Kibum in his bathroom…in a tub full of blood…d-dead,” Woo Bin’s voice cracks at the last word. Jong Suk feels a wetness drop onto his cheek and he jerks up right away to see Woo Bin’s tears rolling down his face. Jong Suk wipes them away with the sleeve of his shirt.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he promises him, “It wasn’t Seung-hyun’s fault either. You didn’t know it was going to happen. Perhaps the fight you had with them may have triggered this…but I don’t think Kibum will blame you two for it. I wouldn’t blame you if it happened to me,” Woo Bin’s eyes jerks to Jong Suk when he says that; his face full of horror. 

Jong Suk smiles and cups Woo Bin’s face in his small hands. He peers into those tear-filled dinosaur eyes, “Don’t worry. Nothing like that will happen to me,” he assures, “Even if something like that happen, I will have enough strength to keep living,”

“Lee Jong Suk!” Woo Bin cries, his dislike for Jong Suk’s thoughts clearly visible on his face.

“Besides,” Jong Suk says quickly, “If that happens, before I kill myself, I will come and strangle you to death for not protecting me,” he giggles and Woo Bin seems to relax a bit. “Seung-hyun…I think he is hurting too much that he needs you to blame, to take it out on you…I believes he also knows that it wasn’t your fault. Just that…perhaps he isn’t ready to let go of him yet,” Jong Suk lets his face off his grip, “So…don’t blame yourself too much,” he sighs and looks at Woo Bin, “Okay, if I’m being honest, it was theoretically partly your fault.”

“Oh great. Thanks. That helps a lot,” Sarcasm fills Woo Bin’s husky voice. The tears have dried out now, and Jong Suk feels glad that he doesn’t seem to be hurting too much now.

“It’s time to let go and move on,” Jong Suk tells him, “Everyone make mistakes and sometime those mistakes cause grave damage than one can imagine. But that’s how life is. What is unforgivable is that if you make the same mistake twice knowing its consequences very well, which I’m certain you or Seung-hyun wouldn’t. So Kibum will forgive you two and both of you should live your life to make Kibum proud,” Jong Suk smiles at him.

Woo Bin returns him a small smile before leaning down and pecking the tip of his nose. “I’ll never make the same mistake,” he promises Jong Suk, “I’ll protect you with my life.”

“Okay, before you can protect me, you should take care of yourself,” Jong Suk chides, “Now get some sleep,” he pushes Woo Bin back down on the bed and pulls the covers over his body. “I’ll go help mom with dinner,” he informs, but before he could leave Woo Bin clutches his wrist.

“Stay with me,” he pleads with his eyes, “Just until I fall asleep.”

Jong Suk doesn’t have the heart to turn him down when his dinosaur eyes are looking at him like a lost puppy. He sighs; might as well take a small nap, he thinks as he climbs under the blanket. He lets Woo Bin wrap his arms around his waist and pull him closer. It is something he is used to by now, after all Woo Bin has been doing it every chance he got since that night after the first hospital visit.

AN: Sorry for taking so long to update. I feel like the story i moving too fast, but oh well...

Hope you guys enjoy this ^_^