“Things finally seem to be settling down,” Hoon remarked as he made himself comfortable in bed.

Serin was walking around the bedroom, getting an outfit for the next day together. She was finally going to go back to work at the office after several weeks of working at home. She had only gained a very little bit of weight since then, but that little bit was making her pants feel tight and uncomfortable, and she was looking for a looser pair. “Yep. It’s good,” she said as she looked through the closet.

“There’s still some negative stuff being said, but most people are more willing to accept our marriage now.”

She pulled on a pair and thought they fit nicely. “These will do,” she mused aloud, taking them off and setting them to the side for the morning. Turning her attention to what Hoon was telling her fully, she added, “It’s a relief. I feel like I keep getting in the way of your success anymore.”

“You don’t mean that,” Hoon told her. “You’re more excited about the baby than anyone else.”

“You’re a close second.”

“I don’t know. I think my mom might be the actual second place in terms of excitement.”

Serin laughed, her bright, happy laugh. “You might be right about that.” She climbed into her side of the bed, snuggling up to him as he put his arm underneath her head. He moved his other hand to rest on her belly.

“I am excited about being a father,” he said to her quietly. “And so very thankful to have you as my wife. That we have been blessed with the opportunity to bring a life into this world amazes me.”

“I know,” she replied, just as softly. “Even though it’s been a lot of heartache and trials thus far, I’m glad to be going through this struggle with you.”

He looked over at her seriously, before apologizing. “I’m so sorry that you had and will continue to have to experience pain because of what people say about you and I.”

“It’s not even just the fact that it’s you and I, Hoonie,” Serin admitted. “That’s not at all surprising. And I’d have never wanted you to give up your passion to be with me. I want you to do what you love for as long as you feel like doing it. I’ll support you until the end. But what kills me, what hurt me the most, was that people insulted the other members. You and I, we deserved it. The company probably also deserves it. But Soohyun? Kevin, Eli, Kiseop, and Jaeseop? What did they do deserve the hate they got? They quietly accepted everything and simply gave us their support. That’s what hurts me the most.”

An introspective smile graced his lips. “I love you. You’re so considerate. I feel bad about what the members are having to deal with because of us.”

“It’s been hard for all of us. And it’s only going to get harder when we officially announce the pregnancy.”

He nodded. “I know. The clamor will start up again.”

“Maybe we just shouldn’t. Leave it a secret until the child’s born.”

“People are going to find out. Photographers are going to start seeking you out and taking pictures, and you’re not going to be able to keep a pregnancy hidden forever. And it’s not like you can go live out of the country for a while. Fans are going to start expecting to see you some.”

“I would love to meet the KissMes officially. I mean I am one of them, too.”

“There’s talk of having a fanmeeting before too long. Maybe we can work out you making an appearance. If that’s okay with you.”

She nodded. “I would like that.”

“I’ll keep that in mind when we have another meeting about it.”

She yawned then. “Ah. I’m tired. Growing a baby takes up more energy than I thought it would.”

He laughed amiably, before cooing in the direction of Serin’s belly, “Don’t tucker Mommy out too much, little one.”

She smiled at him. “See, you are excited.”

“I never said I wasn’t,” he said, shrugging. “I’m nervous and excited all at once. I really am looking forward to meeting our precious child.”

She laughed lightly, rolling over to her side, and moving her head off of his arm, pressing it against the pillow. She sighed into her pillow, feeling him reposition himself against her back, arm draped over her waist loosely. “Me too,” she agreed groggily.

He kissed the back of her neck gently. “Goodnight, my lovely Serin.”

“Mmmm,” she moaned sleepily. “Love you.”

--

Hoon wasn’t in bed with her when the sharp pain in her abdomen woke her up. He’d left earlier than usual, and she had slept in a bit later than usual. But the pain wasn’t going away, and she was starting to get worried. When she felt the blood flowing, she panicked. She needed to go to the hospital. She fought down the panic growing in her mind, calling Jaehyun, her younger brother, begging him to come take her to the hospital. He heard the desperation in her voice, and promptly came to do as she asked.

 --

When Kevin walked into the practice room after a short break that afternoon, the first thing he noticed was Hoon staring into the distance blankly, phone lying facedown at his feet. He shot a quizzical look, walking over to Hoon and bending down to pick up the phone.

“What’s up?”

Hoon’s eyes managed to focus on him. He couldn’t give an answer. He opened his mouth to speak, but he was unable to form words.

“Well, tell me when you’re ready to talk,” Kevin said, trying to be kind and compassionate about a situation he didn’t comprehend. “And here’s your phone.”

Hoon took his phone back, carried it over to the side of the practice room and set it down, before he slid down the wall to sit on the floor. “Kevin,” Hoon said, looking down.

Kevin walked over to him, squatting down in front of him. “Yeah, Hoonie?”

“Serin, she…” his voice cracked in the middle. “She lost the baby.”

“Oh no…” Kevin whispered in disbelief, hand going to his mouth in shock. A tear fell down Hoon’s cheek. Kevin reached out to wipe the tear away, sympathy flooding through him, as his heart to broke for his fellow U-KISS member, his brother. Kevin let himself sink to his knees. “I didn’t think it could hurt this much,” Hoon said, more tears streaming down his face. Kevin moved closer to him, and put his thin arms around Hoon, wrapping him in a supportive hug. “Just… just last night… we were so excited about being parents. This can’t be real,” Hoon choked out.

“I can only imagine,” Kevin whispered in his ear. Hoon sobbed on Kevin’s shoulder, expressing his mourn over the loss.

Soohyun was the next to arrive back at the practice room after the lunch break. He immediately noticed Hoon crying on Kevin’s shoulder and was concerned. “What happened?” he asked. Kevin used his hand to gesture to Soohyun to not press the issue.

Hoon looked up at him, red, swollen eyes still b with tears. “Hyung,” he said, voice quavering, “I think I need to go home.”

“What’s wrong?” Soohyun asked, visibly concerned.

Kevin extricated himself from Hoon’s arms, standing up and leaving him sitting on the floor pitifully, head hanging in defeat. Kevin moved to stand beside Soohyun and whispered, “Serin miscarried the baby.” Soohyun’s eyes lit in understanding, and much like Kevin, he felt choked by sorrow, like a heavy weight had settled on his chest.

“Take him home, Kevin. He can’t drive himself like this. Do you want me to tell the other members, Hoon?”

Hoon’s empty eyes met Soohyun’s. He stared at his leader, one of his most steadfast pillars of support, with a blank look before he nodded his head once.

Kevin grabbed Hoon’s hand and helped him stand up. He led the despondent man to his car, putting him in the passenger seat and driving to Hoon’s home. Kevin led him to the doorway, then to the living room. “Is Serin here?” Kevin asked.

Hoon shrugged. The answer was obvious when the soft sound of a piano playing was heard. It was a sad song, and Kevin knew that Serin was in their studio, playing out her sadness, as Hoon had mentioned was a usual thing for her to do when she was upset.

He had Hoon sit down on the couch. “Wait here,” he instructed, before turning around quickly to go find the source of the music. He didn’t know this house well, having only been in here a few times before and never getting much further than the living room and kitchen on previous trips, but he followed the sound of the piano. He found the source of the music, and opened the door. Serin was sitting at the keyboard, tears streaming down her face, slowly playing melancholic chords. She looked broken, dejected. She saw the door opening and looked up at Kevin blankly.

“Hoonie’s in the living room,” he told her genttly.

She stared. “This is all my fault,” she said.

“Serin,” Kevin said, walking to her, filled with compassion and compelled by the need to help fix her pain. “This isn’t your fault. No one blames you.”

“I do,” she whispered.

She had stopped playing and Kevin put his hand over hers. “Listen. I know this loss hurts. Hoonie is hurting, too. It breaks my heart. But I don’t blame you. Hoon doesn’t blame you. There is not a person on this planet who has the right to say that this is your fault.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “Please go talk to Hoonmin. You two need each other right now.”

She nodded her head, more resigning to doing what he asked than actually wanting to do it. She stood up, and Kevin put his arm around her shoulder supportively, as he led her to the living room. When she saw Hoon, she froze, averting her gaze. “I’m so sorry,” she said softly, shutting her eyes closed tightly, trying to fight back more tears. “This is my fault. I’m sorry.”

He looked to her, confused. He stood up and shakily went to her, wrapping her in a hug, and leaving Kevin standing there next to them. “It’s not your fault,” he whispered. She held on to him tightly, balled fists gripping the back of her shirt like a lifeline. He rested his forehead on hers and took a shaky breath. “It’s not your fault. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. We can get through this somehow,” he chanted over and over, seemingly trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince her.

Kevin watched them from a distance. He could tell that Hoon was trying to be strong for her, and he found it touching. Their heartbreak was tangible. He could feel it hanging in the air. “I’m going to head back,” he told them both quietly. He wasn’t sure if they’d heard him, as neither one acknowledged what he’d said, but he left then, going back to the car and making his way back to the company.

The mood was somber when he walked in. Soohyun had clearly already told them all, and it seemed as though they were all shocked and upset by this news. “How’s he doing?” Soohyun asked when he came in.

“Hoonie seemed to pull himself together for her. Like… he was a mess until he saw Serin, and he pushed aside his pain to comfort her. She’s devastated though.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine what they’re feeling right now,” Eli said solemnly.

“We should do something for them,” Kiseop interjected. “I don’t want to see Hoonie hurt. I want to help him feel better.”

“It’s going to take time to heal,” Soohyun said quietly. “They’ve lost a family member they never even had a chance to meet. They’re going to have to mourn the loss.”

AJ, who had been standing silently thus far, finally spoke up. “We need to stay strong for them. It’ll only make both of them more upset if we put everything on hold for them.”

“Jaeseop’s right,” Eli agreed. “Serin was beating herself up about inconveniencing us by getting pregnant. We shouldn’t add to her pain by devoting our time to worrying about them. Let’s have faith in her and Hoon’s determination and fight. The two of them can get through this.”

Soohyun cleared his throat, saying, “We’ll still give them all of the support we can. They’re going to need as much as they can get. Their loss hurts all of us, but you know it has to feel worse for them. I saw him before he left. Kevin did, too. He’s devastated.”

Kevin nodded. “It’s going to take awhile for him to be the Hoonmin we all know and love. He might never be exactly the same ever again.”

“When do you think he’ll be back?” Kiseop asked, half curious and half worried.

Soohyun shrugged. “As soon as he can, I’m sure.”

--

Kiseop and Soohyun took Hoon’s car back when practice was done for the day. After some debate, they decided to go in to see how the two were doing. They rang the bell, and waited outside. They stood and waited for longer than they had expected they would and were just about ready to give up and leave when the door opened. Serin stood on the other side, eyes red from tears, and looking ragged.

“Mind if we come in?” Soohyun asked her gently.

She shook her head, and whispered, “Come in.”

They did, taking their shoes off and then going to sit in the living room, while Serin went to the kitchen to start tea. “Please come sit down, Serin,” Soohyun told her. “You don’t need to worry about being a good host right now. We’re only here to drop off Hoon’s car and to see how you’re doing.”

She started crying then, letting herself fall to her knees on the kitchen floor. Soohyun, without even really thinking, got out of his seat and went to her side. It hurt him to see her hurting, almost to the same degree it had hurt to see Hoon hurting earlier in the day. He hadn’t realized how much Serin meant to him personally. He felt disarmed by her joking and playful attitude towards him. All the times she’d stayed over with Hoon, and the three of them had ragged on each other and had a good time. Seeing her like this was so much different from his image of her, and his entire being yearned to make her feel better. Serin was as much family to him as his own sisters. She was his friend, and with one glance he knew that Kiseop felt the same way. “Serin,” he told her softly, “It’ll be okay.”

“No, it won’t,” she said shakily. “Nothing will ever be okay again.”

Kiseop was squatting in front of her. He handed her a tissue. “It will. Someday,” he told her.

Kiseop and Soohyun stayed beside her while she cried, looking at each other meaningfully. Soohyun began to wonder where Hoon was. They’d been here for quite some time, and he hadn’t appeared yet. Soohyun gestured with his head, telling Kiseop to go find Hoon, and while he did that, Soohyun stayed with Serin. “Do you want some tea?” he asked her soothingly.

She shook her head. “I just want my baby back,” she said meekly. “Nothing else.”

“I understand,” Soohyun replied. “Let’s get you up off of the floor and go sit down.” He stood and offered her a hand, pulling her off of the ground when she took it. He led her to the couch and had her sit down, going to make her some of the tea he’d suggested earlier even though she had declined. He brought it back and told her, “Drink this.”

She took it and sipped, saying nothing. He could hear Kiseop talking from down the hallway, and it wasn’t long before Kiseop walked back towards the living area, Hoon stumbling along behind him. Kiseop was bewildered, that much was evident from the exasperated look on his face. “Sit down, Hoonie,” Soohyun told him.

He did as instructed, sitting beside Serin awkwardly and looking at nothing. “I’m sorry for leaving early today, hyung.”

“You did what you needed to, Hoonie,” Soohyun told him. “I understand.”

“Are you doing okay?” Kiseop asked him, warily eyeing Serin because it was a similar question that had caused her to cry earlier.

Hoon shook his head. “It hurts so much. It still almost doesn’t seem real to me.”

Hoon had very obviously also been crying, and he leaned against Serin, as though he physically needed her support.

Soohyun and Kiseop didn’t really know what to say or do. This was a hard situation, with complicated emotions. After a few minutes of silence and introspection, Soohyun said, “We all feel the weight of this loss. Just know that all of the members are offering their condolences. Take as much time as you need to heal. I’m sure the president will do at least that much for you.”

Kiseop quickly added, “We want you to stand with us again, but we also want you to take the time you need for yourself. We’re supporting you, and if you need anything, anything at all, please ask us. We love you, Hoonie. And you, as well, Serin.”

He nodded his understanding. “Thanks. I’ll try not to be gone too long. As much as this hurts, I can’t keep you guys waiting.”

Serin agreed with a nod, saying nothing. Kiseop and Soohyun left shortly after that, going home for the evening. Soohyun dropped Kiseop off first, before going back to his apartment and seeking Hoonbi.

“Did you hear?” Soohyun asked him.

“What?” Hoonbi asked from the bathroom, bewildered.

“I guess not then.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Soohyun.”

Soohyun sighed. “You might want to go offer your brother your condolences sometime soon.”

Hoonbi was puzzled. “Why?”

“Serin miscarried the baby today.”

“What?” Hoonbi asked, shocked. “Really? So I’m not going to be an uncle then?”

“Yeah.”

Hoonbi’s shoulders sank as the news settled. “That’s… really awful. They must be so upset.”

“They are. I was over with them tonight. Their hearts are broken.”

“I can imagine. Wow… Mom is going to be upset, too.”

With heavy hearts, Hoonbi and Soohyun ate dinner. They said little to each other, both trying to sort out their feelings. Neither one could truly understand the pain Hoon and Serin were experiencing, but they had both been excited about the prospect of having a baby around.

Soohyun went to bed immediately, tired from the emotionally stressful day. He didn’t know what the next few days, weeks, months were going to bring, but everything had been so tough and painful recently. He hoped with every fibre of his being that things started getting better sometime soon. All of the hardships they had been facing recently were beating everyone down. It was getting harder to keep fighting, and more than anything Soohyun hoped that this storm they had been weathering would end soon.