The music stops and everyone in the room is quiet. Ten pairs of eyes watch as Sehun slowly turns around to face Luhan. 

"Why can't we just talk right here? Like, in front of everyone." 

"Just-please?" Luhan pleads. 

Sehun sighs and nods his head. They walk out of the room and into another one across the hall. Both sit down on the black leather couch and look at each other. 

After about a minute of awkward staring, Luhan finally opens his mouth. "So I had this dream last night, and you were in it." Sehun raises an eyebrow in response. 

"Also, what you said last night got me thinking." 

"I don't remember anything from last night, Luhan. I was completely faced." 

Luhan let out a small laugh. 

"Don't worry about it. What you said was true. But anyways, I think I know who I want now." 

"You think, huh?" 

"No." He pauses. "I know. I love you so much, Sehun. I've loved you for a really long time. You were my first love, my first... time. I'll never forget all the crazy we've done."

Memories of their pre-debut days appeared in Luhan's mind. When he would sneak out of his room and crawl into Sehun's bed. Most times Sehun was sleep, so he just stared at his face, thinking to himself how lucky he was to call someone so beautiful his own. 

Other times when they were both awake little kisses would take place. A few touches here and there that made their hearts beat rapidly.

 It was a new feeling for the both of them. 

After MAMA became popular and they were well known, all twelve members celebrated, but the two lovers had a celebration of their own when everyone was sleep. Neither of them would ever forget that night. 

Just thinking about it made Luhan smile like an idiot. 

"So what are you saying?" Sehun asks after seeing the smile spread across his face. "Am I the one you're choosing?" Luhan could hear the hope in his voice and see it in his eyes. 

"Look, I don't want to lose you, Seh-" he was cut off by the bone-crushing hug that Sehun suddenly attacked him with. 

"I don't want to lose you either, Lulu. These past six months have been hell for me. Seeing you with Min was killing me and having to sneak around killed me even more." he sighs. He backs away and grabs both of Luhan's hands, squeezing them softly. The smile on his face slowly falters when he sees Luhan's was long gone. 

His next words were so quiet, Sehun barely heard them. But he did, and he wish he didn't. 

"I didn't say I was choosing you." 

He let go of Luhan's hands slowly. He couldn't believe his ears. 

"But-but you just... What the , Luhan?" he raises his voice. "Really? You just said how you love me so much and how you'll never forget the things we've done, and now you're saying you're not choosing me?" He yells, making Luhan flinch. 

"Please lower your voice." 

"Why should I?" He continues to shout. "How do you expect me to react?" Sehun rises from his seat. "I can't believe you." 

"You didn't let me finish my sentence! You cut me off with that hug. If you would've let me finish-" 

Sehun cut him off once again, but this time it wasn't with a hug, he just walked out of the room and turned to the left. He was probably leaving the building, but Luhan didn't bother chasing after him because he knew it would make the situation worse. 

Taking another deep breath, he got up and walked back to the practice room. Everyone must of heard all of the ruckus because as soon as he entered the room he could tell everyone was trying to act "natural". 
 
Baekhyun and Jongdae started singing two different songs, Suho began whistling a tune, Kai and Lay tripped over each other's feet while trying to dance, and everyone else looked at every corner of the room that Luhan wasn't in. 

"Xiumin can I talk to you?" 

All he gets is a blink. 

"Xiumin I love you. You know that." 

This time he receives a scoff. 

"I know I haven't been showing it lately but I appreciate you and your love. I know I ed up more than once but everyone makes mistakes and I've learned from mine." 

"Have you? Because you said that last time." 

Murmurs of agreement break out throughout the room. 

"But I mean it this time. I'll do anything to prove to you that I'm serious. I want this. I want you. I don't want Sehun anymore." 

He grabs Xiumin's hands like how Sehun grabbed his own earlier. A little squeeze and his thumbs rubbing the back of his hand. 

"Don't give up on me. Let me show you I'm serious." 

Xiumin releases himself from the grasp Luhan had on him with a soft chuckle and steps back a few steps. 

"Do you realize what you put me through? Do you know half of the pain you've caused me? All the nights you wouldn't come back to the room until almost four in the morning because you were 'practicing for our comeback performance'. You took me for a fool. You thought you were getting away with everything and that I didn't know. Why do you think I switched rooms? You really think management told us to switch?" He laughs again. "I took it upon myself to room with Jongdae instead of you because it hurt too much lying in bed awake, alone for hours waiting for you come back."

Luhan was speechless. Why didn't he tell him that he knew? Why didn't he just say something instead of dealing with another crack in his heart every night for about a month?

 He was a terrible partner. Letting Xiumin go through all that pain and suffering whilst he was having the time of his life in various places and positions with Sehun. 
 
Being a terrible partner was an understatement. 

He was a terrible human being. 

No one deserves to go through this. No one should ever have to experience pain like Xiumin did. 

"Please. I'm begging you." Luhan croaked out.

"Go beg Sehun. I don't want this anymore. You had your chance to prove to me the first time was just a mistake and that you were truly in love with me. But it's quite obvious you're just in love with the thought of me." 

Luhan slowly fell to his knees. He looked up at Xiumin with watery eyes. 

"I need you, Min. You can't do this. Please don't do this." 

"You need me, huh? I can't do this?" Xiumin scoffs. "Where were you when I needed you the most? Somewhere with Sehun. Where were you when I almost died, Luhan?" He screams. 

A tear fell from his wide eyes thinking back to the day when he was crying on the bathroom floor covered in his own blood. He decided he would get one good cut in before everyone got back. But the sound of someone dropping a glass mug in the kitchen startled him and he accidentally cut deeper than he intended. 

After a few minutes of silently sobbing and slowly rolling around on the bathroom floor in pain, the doorknob began rattling. 

As he began to slowly lose conciousness, he heard a voice calling out his name from the other side of the door. The last thing he remembered was a blurry figure bursting into the bathroom and running towards him before he out. 

"Jongdae has been the only when here for me. I can't blame the other members but I can definitely blame you. He was there, holding my hand whilst I was in the hospital bed when it really should've been you. Do you know how pathetic I felt thinking you would take his place? How pathetic I felt for actually considering leaving Exo or leaving this world all because of you?" 

"Xiumin.." Luhan trails off. 

"Is that all you can say? 'Xiumin'" he laughs bitterly. "Stop wasting your time here and go run after Sehun. I'm sure you know where he is anyways." 

Xiumin walks out of the room with Jongdae following closely. 

"When did all of that happen?" Luhan questions the remaining eight. 

He gets shrugs and 'I don't know'. 

Jongdae jogs to catch up to Xiumin who is speed walking out of the building. He kept shouting his name but his presence doesn't get acknowledged until he finally catches up and stops in front of Xiumin.

"Stop ignoring me, Min." He breathes out. 

"Go away, Jongdae. I just want to be alone." 

It killed Jogndae to see Xiumin like this. He hated seeing his red, puffy eyes filled with tears. His nose stuffy and irritated. He missed Xiumin's smile and bright, wide eyes filled with happiness. 

"Are you sure you made the right decision? Because if I have to see you like this everyday I'm going to go mad and do something I'll later regret."

A small smile appeared on Xiumin's face hearing Jondae's words. 

"Why couldn't it have been you? Why couldn't  management have paired me up with you? Why didn't I fall for you instead?" 

"Well it's not too late." Jongdae smiles. 

His smile grows wider as a light bulb flashes in his head. "Can we do something crazy? Just you and I?"

Without getting a response, Jongdae grabs Xiumin's hand and starts running in the direction of their dorm. 

"Even if you don't fall for me, I'll help you get over him, one way or another." 

-- 

yeah, it got crappy towards the middle/end. 

My apologies