C H A P T E R  i. 

“You'll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile.”

***
              "Do you want me to feed you?" Jonghyun suggested while we were eating. 

Jonghyun. My boyfriend. My oh-so perfect boyfriend.

I smiled, "Sure," and then blushed right after. 

              Actually, we're not exactly in the same school. He always has a visitor's pass every Friday. He always tries to go here in my school every Lunch during Fridays, like he promised. We're already in Grade 12, the last year of High School. We were both classmates when we were in Grade 7 up to Grade 10, until we reached Grade 11 and he got a scholarship in another school. And who am I to stop him from his dreams, right?

              I remember, I was a new student during our freshmen days. I already had almost 5 friends despite the fact that I'm new. We were seating right next to each other, happily chatting and laughing, but then, our adviser opt to change our seating arrangement. So, I was seated right next to this good-looking guy. I didn't know him back then.

              I knew someone at his back. My ballpen was lost, so since I didn't know my seatmate, I tried to borrow from the person I know at his back. But it was taking her so long to get a ballpen.

"Wait, Aerin, I think it's lost," she said as she was rummaging through the things in her bag.

 

"Please, please, please, let it be there," I wished and rushed her. There were already notes to copy on the board. It was many. I need to jot down all of this.

 

The next thing I knew, there was a hand on my table and placed a ballpen. I looked at the ballpen, then to my seatmate.

 

He gave me a ballpen.

 

I took the ballpen. I looked at Eunsook who was still looking for a ballpen for me to borrow and I said, "It's ok, I already have one. Thank You," I smiled.

 

I looked at my seatmate again. Handsome ―I'll give him that. His head was down, I guess he doesn't have a friend yet nor someone to talk to. I tapped his shoulder.

 

He looked at me, and his eyes grew wide. I don't know why, but I found it adorably cute.

 

The hell are you saying, Aerin?

 

Shaking my thoughts away, I smiled at him, and said, "Thank you for the ballpen." 

 

One second passed, and for the first time, I saw his charming smile. 

 

I almost melted at how charming and alluring his smile was.

 

"Your Welcome," he said. 

               So, there started our friendship. After a year, even though we're not classmates anymore, we were still inseparable. And I won't forget
the day he confessed to me about his feelings. I was lucky that this guy wasn't a coward like the other boys out there. 

It was Valentine's Day.

Cliché, right?

I jumped happily, up and down and practically screamed at my best friend Jihye. 

 

She's got so many roses! And one of those roses were given by her crush! 

 

Jihye laughed at me and said, "Yah, Aerin! Stop it! It's embarassing!" But she was still smiling, kyah!

 

I still didn't stop, then I heard my phone ringing. I got it from my pocket and unlocked it, seeing that I got a text from Jonghyun.

 

Jonghyun: Aerin, go to the canteen, please? :)

 

Huh, canteen? Okay. 

 

I replied, "Sure, why?"

 

In less than a minute, he replied, "Secret. Don't be hard-headed and do what I say, okay ;)" I laughed. This guy, really.

 

"Fine. Naughty Jonghyun, you'll get a pinch from me later." I responded. 

 

"Jihye, I'll just go to the canteen, okay? Jonghyun tole me to go there now. I guess, I'll just see you later," I told her and slung my bagon my shoulder. I didn't hear her respond, so I looked at her. I got nervous to see her flashing a creepy smile at me. What's going on with her?

 

Her smile even grew wider as she chuckled, "Sure, just go! As if we don't see each other everyday."

 

I quirked an eyebrow from the look she was giving me, but I just brushed it off. "Weird," I stated.

 

"Says the one who's not," she teased, before waving her hands as a sign of goodbye. I waved back as a sign of acknowledgement. 

 

My phone riang again, and Jonghyun replied. "Sure, make sure it hurts, huh! ;)" I swear everyone's weird today.

 

I reached the canteen in no time. I didn't see anyone, and what bothered me the most was that, the doors were closed. I scanned the area, and I spotted Jinki ― one of Jonghyun's friends ― pass by. 

 

I ran to him. "Jinki!" He turned  and smiled at me. Weird, he doesn't smile when nothing's funny or anything. 

 

"Aerin! Why'd you call me?" he said, rather enthusiastically. I'm confused as heck. 

 

I lightly scratched my head, and asked, "Is the canteen closed?"

 

His smile grew wider just like Jihye's. What is wrong with the world?! First it was Jihye, now it's Jinki. Will Jonghyun treat me like
this too? I'm on the verge of flipping tables right now. 

 

He continued, "Nope. It's still lunch. Go in." 

 

I rolled my eyes. Is it normally like this during Valentine's Day? Because last year was a whole lot different. 

 

I sighed. "Ok then. Thanks, Jinki," I mumbled.

 

"No problemo," he said, and winked. Urgh! I'm so irritated.

 

He went away and I proceeded to enter the doors of the canteen. Because I'm thin and all, I gathered all my strength to push the doors.
Before I even recognized the faces of all the persons inside, I screamed and was startled when a party popper popped above me and 
heard a loud cheer from the crowd.

 

"Pf, pf!" I said as I took the confettis away from my mouth. I adjusted my glasses and it all sinked in. The whole varsity team
were around me. They were the ones who popped that surprising party pooper, which was actually intended to be surprising. My eyes
widened from the sight. Jonghyun was standing in the middle part of the canteen, on a table, holding his favorite guitar, with a
microphone stand in front of him. 

 

I've always found his guitar-playing so amazing. He was such a great musician.

 

But wait.... why is he standing thereand holding his guitar?

 

Before I could say anything, he smiled widely and genuinely, and started to strum his guitar and there came a song I was all too 
familiar with.

 

"If all the flowers faded away, and if all the storm clouds decided to stay ~" The song he always sends me on chat, saying that this was one of his favorite songs and was the song he'll be singing to the girl he loves.

 

"Then you would find me 
Each hour the same 
She is tomorrow 
And I am today 

Cause if right is leaving 
I'd rather be wrong 
She is sunlight 
The sun is gone 

And if loving her is, 
Is a heartache for me 
And if holding her means 
I have to bleed, 
Then I am the martyr 
Love is to blame 
She is the healing 
And I am the pain~ "

 

His voice was so melodious and angelic. This voice was the one that lulled me to sleep every night.

 

My mind still can't process anything that was happening, it came by so fast.

 

Kim Jonghyun, the friend whom I've been secretly crushing on, is now serenading me. I can't help but giggle, and sway along to his song. I've come to love this song because of the meaningful lyrics it has. When the chorus started, I started singing quietly too.

 

"She lives in a daydream 
Where I don't belong
She is the sunlight
The sun is gone

And it will take this life of regret 
For my heart to learn to forget 
Tomorrow will be as it has always been
And I will fall to her again 
For I know I've come too close

'Cause if right is leaving 
I'd rather be wrong
She is the sunlight 
The sun is gone

La da da da da da da da da da
La da da da da da da 
La da da da da da 
Na da da da

'Cause she is the sunlight 
And the sun is gone...~"

He stopped and locked gazes with me, smiling oh-so sweetly. He placed his guitar on the table, and walked to me. I was looking forward to what he'll do next.

 

He held my hand which I was unknowingly fiddling with, and took it in his big and soft hands. What should I do?! What should I do?! In the outside, I'm just smiply smiling, but on the inside I'm about to burst already. 

 

I heard the crowd cheer and tease us. He bowed his head down a little bit before he said my name, "Aerin."

 

I gulped.

 

"Aerin," he once said again, "I really, really like you. Starting from the moment our Grade 7 adviser changed our seating arrangement. At that time, I was praying that I would have the chance to seat beside that girl with the long, brown, curly locks, that seemed to have caught my attention at that very moment I stepped in the classroom," he stopped and reached for my face and cupped it with his free hand. I was already blushing furiously, and I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

 

"When I sat beside you, I felt like it was one of the luckiest days of my life, and it was," he continued and started his thumb against my cheeks. Gosh, why are you doing this to me, Jonghyun? "You were asking for a ballpen that time and I happened to have an extra. I thought that you really looked cute while pleading to borrow a ballpen. Your constant whinings were so adorable. As much as I want to hear them, I knew you wanted to copy the notes so bad, that I decided to place the extra ballpen I had on your table," he chuckled.

 

I avoided his gaze and looked at all the students around us. Jihye and Eunsook were there, smiling teasingly. The varsity were mouthing 'yes' and 'go jonghyun'. Jinki stood there, surprisingly, smiling.

 

Jonghyun continued, "I was more than happy when you tapped my shoulder and said thank you. I never knew that that ballpen would make get close to you. After a year and a half of having a witty, intelligent, cute, beautiful and amazing girl like you, I've fallen for you, which I thought would be inevitable," he heartily laughed. 

 

My hands started to get sweaty and I tried to withdraw my hand from his, but he held it more firmer but gently this time. He tilted my chin up and forced me to look at his eyes, which was directly looking at mine. He huffed a quick breath, "Baek Aerin." 

 

"Yes?" I hummed, and realized how shining his eyes were. I took that moment of silence to examine how handsome his face was. My thoughts were cut off when he heaved a sigh and finally spoke.

 

"Baek Aerin, will you grant me the honors of me, Kim Jonghyun, to be your boyfriend?" He closed his eyes for a brief moment and continued on with the eye contact, the two of us were having.

 

They all cheered happily when I said...

 

"Wish granted, Mr. Kim Jonghyun."

              I opened my mouth and took in the third spoonful of rice he was feeding me. Up to now, our friend wouldn't stop cheering and teasing whenever we would do unusual lovey dovey stuffs like this.

I don't know how I became this lucky enough to have a boyfriend like him. But who am I not to accept the fact that I am?

***