It's at night when Yixing has the time to think about them and ask himself what they are. Certainly, they have a business relationship and claim to be friends, but how much of friends are they after all? They hang around a lot as of late, that's true. Sometimes laugh a lot too. Kai is a touchy person, Yixing has figured out, definitely a the skinship type. But as he turns over on his stomach, bangs a little sweaty in the hot summer night, Yixing figures out that he barely knows anything about Kim Jongin, except that he loves his couch and hates a guy named Oh Sehun, or was it the other way around? Oh yeah, and he should have been an idol or something, he'd be very popular if he was. Half-asleep, Yixing notices he can't see the moon through his window tonight, maybe it's too hot for it to shine too. He yawns. Shining, that's the word he is looking for, cause probably, he actually does know Kai a bit. A guy who is ready to outshine himself if that's going to throw the boredom away from his life. A person who aims for a bitter life, but drinks his coffee with four spoonfuls of sugar. One who's gonna try everything he can because nothing ever means anything to him.

Counting sheep to sleep is far too depressing for a person who feels like a sheep himself in a flock he's supposed to be the hound in. That's why Yixing is counting the different shades of Kai's personality. Sometimes Kai is BB cream-like – changing toward the color of skin he connects to. In nights like this, though, when Yixing's one too tired to even think coherently, Kai is nothing but a deep shade of chocolate stained with ash-grey. Because of that, Yixing maybe hasn't got any right to question whatever it is that makes Kai cling onto him right after he has scolded him on the dance floor, tan hands over his shoulders when they have lunch together or just walk casually through the streets of Seoul. What if it's just another shade of emptiness painted in the color of the light reflecting from his skin?

He falls asleep with the thought he has nothing to be anxious about hence their friendship is only growing now and he will stop feeling like he's some kind of an experiment for Kai soon, but also the fear that he shouldn't have agreed that easily to be so close with him in the first place. How can one who doesn't give a singe for anything promise him the comfort of friendship that requires more than one-sided involvement?

~

In a month estimating glances throughout his dancing routines transform into deep interest and Yixing is terrified that he doesn't even find anything wrong in that. He is also terrified that he's so used to Kai's touch now that if his hands last an idea or two longer than they need to on his shoulders, it doesn't in the slightest bother his attention. But what he's most scared of is that he only finds himself getting more attached to the tanned boy with every new day until one morning it's just too much to hold in. So he dances. And like never before, this time all he wants is to get the stress out, to make the pain in his waist come again and distract him from his stupid thoughts cause they are sick and seriously, he should at least get worked up because of more important things than a weird younger boy who is quite a bit different from every single person he has ever met in his life.

“Don't push yourself so hard, that's ridiculous” - Kai comments somewhere from behind and he is not helping in any way, as usual. If Yixing were to turn around and look at him good, he'd be surprised by the mix of self-satisfaction, astonishment and something that suspiciously reminds of pity showing on Kai's face. “Dancing ballet while angry at someone isn't a good idea, hyung. You're missing the whole point of the dance.”

Kai can't say he hadn't expected such outcome from his behavior. In fact, he awaited it a lot earlier, but well, he can't control everything, now can he. Such a strong spirit Yixing has, how very sad for him. It'll just be harder for him in the long run. Yet for some reason, Kai refuses to think about the future. Instead he grabs onto the present as tight as he can, for there is a thing he was willing to do for a while now. He steps up and grabs Lay's hand, pushing him out of the dancing floor. Breathing in snatches, he flats the fair-skinned boy against the wall rather rough, aggressive. He rests his head on Lay's forehead, noses touching, breathes entwining, bodies trembling with the memories of an interrupted choreography. And after an eternal moment of clamorous silence and tense glances, everything is just a mess of hands, trying to grab firmly onto something, lips tasting each other like they're made of chocolate and surrealistically loud music surrounding them both, isolating them from the rest of the world. And while it lasts, the kiss tastes like pain. Like a sweet sorrow, addicting and lethal.

“That's how it's supposed to be”- decides Kai, smirking inwardly, unmindful of something in his heart that crunches badly somewhere between his ribs. He probably needs to go see the doctor, with that upcoming competition in July, just in case if it's something serious. He allows himself one last second to embrace Lay and then he pulls off as if nothing ever so special has happened.

“I will show you the new piece” - is Kai's only comment and when he receives no answer, he just smiles to himself, which rather looks like a grimace and turns the volume up.

Flip, twirl, pause. One false movement, disappointment follows. But Kim Jongin, he controls music. And when it slips, he makes it obey again. Lay observes him as if the latter is some kind of freak or different level of God. He can still feel Jongin's demanding lips on his own, different from anything he has ever tasted. Maybe it's the slight aroma of strawberry marmelade, mixed with caffeine scent, or maybe because Jongin is the first boy he ever kisses.

~

Lay knows they have to talk about what happened but somehow he doesn't feel like talking. He can literally see the tension swelling up between them like thick, dribbling mist and it scares him to take a step foreword for he might lose his way and never be able to come back where it's safe.

“We'll start with a piece I created a few years ago rearranging Mozart's “Moonlight sonata.” Mainly it's in andante, but increases to allegro in the end.” - Kai says, tearing Yixing away from his thoughts and the tone of his voice is a sign for the boy that it's not the time now for even considering such sentimental conversations. They are here to dance, that's always their first priority. He just wishes Kai realized that too.

Once he's finally memorized all the steps, it's time for Lay to learn to actually turn them into more than frantic hand-flailing and body-spinning. He never does it as good as Kai, and how could he given he only started learning ballet few weeks ago, but he gives his best to at least look proper whilst trying. If he didn't trust Kai that there is reason behind ditching his own piece in favor of many more he doesn't even understand to begin with, he would have quit from the start. Some nights he still wonders wouldn't it be for the best to take his stuff and leave. Except the morning always comes and with the rising of the sun, the veil before his eyes that lets him delude himself vanishes and he has to admit he is far too involved with Kim Jongin to to actually do it.

~

On Monday it's unbearable to breathe around Kai. Not that Yixing is questioning all his beliefs and visions of life, or if he does, it's deeply sub-conscious, but he rather feels like there is something bigger he has passed by carelessly, something of fundamental importance that needs to make it's way out into this world, in his world to be precise, because buried deep inside him, it's suffocating him with an unforgiving grip, severe claws digging into his skin from the inside out, making him want to throw his intestines up, as if flushing the colic in his stomach down the toilet would solve what there is to solve. He is lying on the dance floor, body sprawled, chest raising and falling fast, a faint string of awareness spreading through him as a thought, a simple question bangs in his brain so obvious it's ridiculous how he only asks himself now.

Why do people kiss?

He laughs.

Furthermore, why does one respond to a kiss one could as well pull away from?

He laughs so hard that his ribs hurt. It's funny because all of this makes him even more ed up than he already was, which he thought was impossible.

“What are you laughing at?” - Kai asks him, propped on the door lazily, red checkered shirt blowing a bit because of the wind outside. His skin looks more tan than usual, summer painting it with it's colors as though to add one last touch to nature's masterpiece. But this broken masterpiece remains incomplete – two spoonfuls of talent, a spoonful of attraction but where did the bottle with liquid soul fall? Oh, it's right behind the huge desk of life and the wooden bureau is so hard to move, too burdensome to struggle with, so nature gives up – a person can still live in spite of being empty, just 21 gram less, what difference does it make?

“Myself.”

“I would cry if I was you, though.”

“Exactly. I am laughing because it'd be embarrassing to cry.”

“Yeah, it would be. Now gather yourself, hyung, my studio is not a spa complex. ”

Yixing figures out he should scold Jongin for being informal without really doing anything on the matter. Not like the younger one would be concerned if he did anyway.

Tsk, Kim Jongin, why you, of everybody?

~

“Hypothetically” - Yixing starts a few days later while stretching, - “if I were to like you, you know, in a way different than the conventional one between guys, and confessed to you, what would your reaction be?”

He is bothered by the amount of time he spends admiring Jongin on daily basis. The tanned boy must have warned him somewhere along the way it was going to end up like this and yet, Yixing has fallen head over heels, faster than a rabbit in it's predator's mouth. Painfully. Irreversible. That's why he must know, regardless what the answer might be.

“Why are you asking me? I was the one who kissed you in the first place, remember?”

How can he forget is the real question, but Yixing doesn't voice that one out loud. Instead he reminds Kai that he still hasn't answered his previous one.

“Besides this is just a hypothetical scenario.”

“Do your piece first, I want to see if there is any improvement.” - Kai probably notices the irritation in Yixing's usually calm face because he suppresses a grin before adding: - “And I need some time to think, people don't stop me on the street everyday just to ask me such existential questions.”

Yixing dances beautifully. It's an undeniable fact and in his own style, he is the best. Although Jongin feels somewhat proud as he recognizes what he had thought him put into practice even without him having to remind Yixing that “no, you are not supposed to shift your weight here, you're losing your balance and the whole step looks rushed.”

“Good job. Warm-up is over, let's start with my version of the “Moonlight sonata”, you still can't seem to grasp it fully. Remember - sauté arabesque, not grand jété, I don't fool myself that you are a prima ballerina, Lay.”

Yixing snorts and it's not because of Kai's laconic half-compliment or his sadistic tendencies since he's used to them already, but because he is positive the tanned boy is prolonging his dancing time on purpose.

“We are men of art, Yixing” - Kai finally speaks and it's hard for Yixing to concentrate both on rhythm and his words, but he doesn't stop for a break.

First dance, remember. It's your first priority.

“We're vague and unreliable and inconstant. The most natural feeling for people is to be attracted by art. It's not personal, not because of who I am or who you aren't. But art doesn't appreciate other forms of art which makes it ever the more sadder, don't you think? That's why we can never belong to each other, not really. You will run – from me or to me, it really doesn't matter, does it, because I'll never be there to catch you and eventually, you'll fall hard and fast and you will never be able to get up again to dance. Cause if a dancer breaks a bone, his future is as good as gone. In your case it'll be worse than breaking a bone, nor a heart, hence we're talking in metaphors. I am going to break your heart, Yixing. And not just hypothetically” - Kai's words linger between them with a lazy murmur, calming yet alerting nevertheless. It's astonishing to Lay how easy it is for Jongin to deny humanity for the sake of empty beliefs based on inflated nothings he can't seem to pass over in silence. Kinda scares him as well. Yet the tanned boy interests him like a mystery, a black hole that will him into nothingness but will bring completeness once it has taken all there is to take.

“I don't think it's possible” - Lay says, resting himself on the ground, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead and around his collarbones as he reaches out for a towel to dry them. His breathing is unsteady, heart pounding in his ears as though it's going to jump out of his body. Kai's choreography is always breathtaking, in both metaphoric and metaphrastic way, and by far this has to be the most complicated one. Having to try and listen while the tanned boy is talking on top of that makes it ten times harder.

“Sorry”- half-stumbles upon the word Jongin, whispering it ever so quiet that he leaves Yixing wondering if he has really said it or it was just Yixing's brain playing him tricks. Besides – what would Jongin have to be sorry about, acting like an all-knowing is hardly a crime, albeit it can get pretty annoying at times. Yixing can't, still, grasp on the idea that such young boy can believe half the things he says so sedate about trust and love or the lack of them, so he rejects the idea that maybe Jongin is apologizing for having to be the one to show him how it's possible to ruin a person. It can't be, right?

Unspoken questions are, however, impossible to answer therefore Kai coughs a little before returning to his usual self - “Do you realize the difference between balancé and pas de valse, by the way? I have explained it to you million times. In balancé the three steps make a down, up, down motion, whereas in pas de valse, the motion is down, up, up. Besides you span wrong before the first refrain and the ending was too hasty, do you even concentrate when you dance, Yixing?”

And this has to be a rhetorical question because how can Kai ask such a thing if he's aware how he, himself is distracting Yixing. Despite the urge to spit venom in his face, Yixing just nods sharply deciding not to give Jongin even a faint satisfaction for being an ignorant idiot again.

“C'mon get up and don't be a girl, you have a few more new moves to learn” - Jongin commands which makes Yixing wonder how can this boy boss him around every walking hour of every living day and still know his own steps all at the same time. He has to remind himself once again that Jongin is not important right now and he has an upcoming competition that might also help him create a name for himself in this industry or defame his still stainless one.

A/N: Thank you all for the nice comments and reading and just, I am glad you guys like the story so far ^^ We're half way through, so I hope you will keep supporting 'til the end even if I am extremely cheesy with this update :D
Also, after writing this story, I actually started shipping KaiXing even more I mean - 

Can they just NOT? Like, who does that OMFG <3 Aaah, anyways, please do enjoy reading! ^_^