Halcyon City Review

                     HunHan_00

    -istant

I really liked the title, it was very clever and eye catching but so far in the story it hasn't really made any sense since Sehun doesn't hate Luhan yet. The description was very unique and I really liked how you did the definition thing. The poster is really okay I guess. it just doesn't match well with the story. I mean Sehun's suppose to be a bussiness man why does he seem so happy and carefree in the poster? 

The plot I'm not really sure were it's going but so far the story is pretty good because the first few chapters are about Suho and his wife. I can't help but feel that the romance theme of the story is a bit centred around Tao and Kris a little, so make sure to add more HunHan chapters! The story doesn't really relate to the comedy theme since there isn't really anything funny.

The characterization was very good. Sehun did an awesome job being that arrogant, snobby boss and Luhan being the new kid. I would like you to explain Kris and Tao's personalities in the story a bit better and more detailed. If your including all of EXO then make sure to explain their personalities as well. 

As always there are some gramatical errors that can be inproved on such as:

sometimes loosing track of time- should be spelt 'losing'

but his hope was crushed- sounds better as 'hopes'

times, five?-.  that shouldn't be there

In chapter five when Krris thinks 'Tao ofcourse' there should be a space between 'of' and 'course'. It doesn't really make sense. I mean does Tao want something to eat or drink or does Kris want Tao? You should be more direct.