Halcyon City Review

HaibaraShery

The title is very unique if it is used in correct manner which I think you have shown. It links back to the story quite well.

The foreword is brilliant and very intriguing unitl this part:

Triangle Love between Park Chanyeol-You-Kim Jongin

Taemin will pop up as cameo here;]

That ruins the whole exciting feel the first two lines creat. Please put this bit at the end of your foreword/description. On the other hand everything is very colourful which draws in the readers attention and isn't dull and normal black writing would be.

The actual contents of the story is exciting though I feel that the bit of her two lives should be mentioned in the foreword/description because a lot of people like the whole 'living two lives' concept. You repetitively say 'oh well' throughtout the story and it was pretty annoying not to mention not needed. The fact that Chanyeol likes her is hidden in the first few chapters and gradually grows until we see his true feelings. Reading your comments your readers like how you leave then hanging in suspense and leave them to choose sides because as of your story right now they don't know who Ellie will choose. If you get that kind of comments you know your story is good at cliffhangers, twists and turns.

 I loved Chanyeol's character as the dedicated best friend who has a crush on her. Even when threatened and abused by Jongin he still wanted to stay near Ellie. He plays his role perfectly and is very strong about his feelings. Jongin's character is confusing at first as he's a bad boy but when he sees Ellie as Sky he turns into a hardcore, shy, stuttering fanboy. As the stroy goes we discover he's true personality that no one thought he had. As for Ellie, living two lives means having different characteristics for both her personalities. You were able to seek a good balance between them both and I think that is a very useful skill.

Overall the story is popular among readers and need just a few tweaks to make it better. Since you are in the middle of your massive cliffahnger make sure to plan you ending down to the last detail as a bad ending can ruin your whole story. Best of wishes for your stories future development!

-AwesomIceCream