For the title, "The Way You Glance", it is surely a sweet and cute romantic story, starring the Lurong couple.  However, I don't think this title does relate to the story that much.  Yes, in the first few chapters, I can spot out some details, such as Luhan catching Chorong's glances.   However, in the other chapters, there aren't much scenes that refers to the title and it seems that it turns into an ordinary cheesy love story at some point.  So, I think that this title is nice, but you can add some scenes, hints or even metaphors or other things to let readers relate the story back to its title, so that the story will leave a deeper impression on the readers.

There aren't much mistakes in the description part, but for the first part, "Luhan had always wanted to fall in love", I don't think I can see this in the story.  I understand that this is only a background of the character, but to make the story more complete and detailed, maybe you can add a small paragraph or just a few lines to add in the backgrounds in the chapters as well.

As for the posters, I find them nicely decorated and well done.  The way you divide the paragraphs, characters' conversation and their thoughts are clear and simple.  So, for the visual effects of this story, it's alright.

Onto the grammar and spelling part, there are minor mistakes throughout the story, you can proofread it again to check it.  I also noticed that your use of sentence struture is not bad, however the way you phrase it can't give off the meaning you want it to be.  For example, in Chapter Contemplation, "...But do you even think how this would affect me?”  I suggest you to change it into "... But have you ever thought of how this would affect me?”  After changing it, it becomes a rhetorical question and it gives off a stronger feeling that Luhan is really angry at his father.

You also need to be more careful with the use of punctuation marks.  For example in the description part, "...How will this awkward boy start his long-awaited love story with a bubbly girl like her?"      The fullstop at the end should be a question mark instead.

Moving onto the flow of the story, it's actually alright.  It's comfortable, not very fast.  There are a lot of description of the scenes that make the scenes more livelier to the readers and one of the best example of this is in Chapter 1, "As Luhan was about to turn around away from his window.. hell of a decent place to live."  However, the plot is rather ordinary, especially towards the end.  For the first few chapters, actually I find the scenes such as the first meeting of Luhan and Chorong, Luhan stalking Chorong and the scene when Chorong's sister goes missing quite interesting.  But when you started describing Luhan's and his dad's situation in China, it starts to get a bit boring as it isn't quite impressing and the building of the is slowed down.  I suggest you to pick some more scenes that can really build the .  As I have mentioned, the plot is not unique so you need to use other elements to support and make your story stand out.  However, I think that you can improve your writing style or add some literary devices to make the story more appealing.

As for the characterization, I think that you did a great job for Luhan and Chorong.  I can feel and relate to them as you've described their inner feelings and actions explicitly.  However, you've  also added some side characters such as Chorong's and Luhan's family and Xiumin, so I think that you can use them to bring out some secrets or a different side to the main characters so that the readers can have a deeper understanding of them.  I also think that add some lines to slightly develop the side characters will be great too, of course, it's still the development of the main characters that's more important, so  I think that you've already done well.

Just a small reminder, you labelled your story as angst.  However, I don't think it's an angst story, it suits the drama category more.

On the whole, this story is beautifully done though there are still some flaws.  I hope I don't sound harsh and I also hope that you'll find this review useful.  Comments are welcomed~ 

aphrodite123