It’d been four days since Jongdae had called, and Jongin had heard nothing though he couldn’t help but be concerned; Jongdae wasn’t usually one to give up easily.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo begun massaging his shoulders, “Are you okay? You’ve been so tense, recently.”

Jongin groaned softly and leant his head back as his boyfriend began rubbing circles into his shoulders, kneading out the knots which had been building up increasingly fast.“I’m alright,” Jongin said, “Just… I don’t know.” he sighed.

“You’ll be okay,” Kyungsoo said, kissing him lightly against the dark Chinese lettering, printed across the back of his neck.

“You like my tattoos, don’t you?”

“I only tell you all the time.”

Jongin rolled his eyes, “When we’re in bed.”

Kyungsoo giggled, “Well, that is where I see all of them.”

“You see other things there too.”

“Your tattoos are meaningful though.”

The taller let out a short laugh. “You should get one, seeming as you love mine so much.”

“Oh God, no,” Kyungsoo groaned, “My parents would kill me. Also, me with a tattoo? It wouldn’t suit.”

For a moment, Jongin looked thoughtful, before letting out an impish grin. “I think a little kitty would look perfect right on your .”

Kyungsoo hit him lightly, eyes in crescents. “You’re so weird.”

“But it’s true!”

“Plus, I can’t just get a tattoo that means nothing.”

“Yes you can, plus, what’s more meaningful than a on your ?”

Kyungsoo hit him again.

“Not even for me?”

“Dammit Jongin, I’m not getting needles in my for you!”

Jongin laughed, “What if I get one?”

“You, with a kitten on your ?”

“Only for you, baby.”

...

The TV long forgotten in the background, the pair lay there wrapped in each other; Kyungsoo’s hand threading through Jongin’s peroxide hair, Jongin’s hand tracing circles over Kyungsoo’s uncovered hip bone.“You’re so beautiful…” Kyungsoo mumbled, brushing the hair that’d fallen over Jongin’s eyes to the side.

“Says you,” Jongin scoffed, “Look at you…” Jongin gently the soft, smooth skin underneath Kyungsoo’s right eye, opposite to his in the fact that it was missing a scar; a blemish on Jongin’s almost perfect face.

“I love you.”

Jongin’s body reacted, stiffening. They weren't words he'd expected or really wanted to hear. Not that he didn't feel the same, but they meant committment he didn't deserve. “You don’t-“

“No, I love you.” Kyungsoo said again, taking his face in his hands. “Just accept it, and accept that I don’t care; I don’t care what you’ve done.”

“It’s too much, you can’t-“

“Goddammit Jongin, stop fighting it!” Kyungsoo snapped. “I’m not telling you to tell the world, I’m not telling you that I’m going to have some realization of what you’ve done one day. I’m not telling you that what you did is right or what you did is wrong. I’m telling you that I love you no matter who you are or what you’ve done. I’m in love with Jongin, now, and me if he doesn’t feel the same way.”

Kyungsoo stood up, pulling himself off Jongin and walking to the front door.

“Kyungsoo- I-”

“Come and see me when you get it through your head.”

Kyungsoo walked out, and Jongin was left frozen on the couch.

!

He leapt to his feet, running out the door and pulling Kyungsoo into him from the back. Part of himself didn’t know why he was doing this. He’d been telling himself for so long that Kyungsoo deserved better, that if Kyungsoo tried to leave he wouldn’t interfere, but now it was happening and the only thing he could think of doing was stopping him from leaving. It was almost scary, how much he needed him now. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, ‘Soo.”

He sighed. “I don’t want you to be sorry, Jongin,” Kyungsoo turned around, eyes glistening slightly. “I just want you to trust me.”

“I do trust you, you know I do.”

“No, you don’t!” Kyungsoo nearly yelled, before his voice lowered considerably, close to breaking. “Or else you wouldn’t freak out on me.”

“Please, don’t-“ and Jongin didn’t know why he was nearly pleading with Kyungsoo to listen to him, when a few weeks ago all he wanted was for him to go. “-Just, it’s hard. It’s hard and I can’t-“

Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around Jongin’s neck.“You can, Jongin. You just have to let me in… You don’t have to love me, you just have to let me in.”

Jongin’s voice was shaky but his thoughts were definite when he replied, “I do love you, you know I do.”

 Kyungsoo couldn’t stop himself smiling from the words, taking Jongin’s hand and walking back into his apartment.

“Just- what can I do?”

 “I want to know you; I don’t want you to hide anything from me because I know you do. You’ve told me the worst of it, why do you hide everything else?”

Jongin sighed, “I don’t-” his face turned dark as his voice dropped to a whisper. “They make it real,” he whimpered, “They’re proof it happened.”

Kyungsoo squeezed his hand lightly, as if to say it’s okay, you don’t have to let me see just yet, but Jongin was already pulling him from the living room to the bathroom, switching the heat lights on and standing in the centre, Kyungsoo slightly confused. “Here, I’ll-“ and then Jongin began to lift his shirt, something which came as a shock to Kyungsoo as it was something he’d never dared to do in his presence. Kyungsoo had never seen Jongin less than fully dressed, but the blemishes littered against Jongin’s torso came as no surprise, though the amount of them did.

Jongin watched nervously as Kyungsoo walked forward.“May I?”

Jongin nodded as Kyungsoo pressed his finger along the most prominent scar on his body. It was a diagonal line from his right shoulder, down to his hip on the left hand side.

“How’d you-“ Kyungsoo asked timidly, almost as if Jongin would be mad with the question.

“This crazy- guy had a knife far too out of his league,” he laughed slightly, totally out of place for the situation. “Honestly, out of all the scars it’s my favourite; pretty badass.”

Kyungsoo laughed too, though only at Jongin's words, before trailing his fingers over the other areas of healed skin.“There’s so many…” he thought aloud.

“Well, I did get in to a lot of fights.”

“Stupid boy, getting hurt…” Kyungsoo mumbled, and Jongin resisted the urge to laugh because he’d done a lot more stupid things than get himself injured.

Then Kyungsoo noticed something.“You have another one?” he asked, signalling to the tattoo on the right side of his hip.

Jongin looked down, eyeing it with a certain distaste.“I have a few, I don’t like that one…”

“Why not?” Kyungsoo asked, “I like this one, it’s the sun, right? Even though it’s kinda hexagonal?”

Jongin nodded, “That was the kind of… brand, I guess. Except it wasn’t like that, I got stuff tattooed over so it doesn’t look like its original anymore, but I still see it.”

“So everyone that works there has one?”

Jongin nodded.

Kyungsoo walked around, eyes widening as he took in the larger tattoo that took up a majority of Jongin’s back.“, this one has to have hurt.”

“I think I was more than unfeeling when I got it.” Jongin said jokingly, though he knew he wasn’t.

Kyungsoo traced his fingers over the pattern of the triquetra from the centre, noticing the different patterns adorning each.

“They’re all different, but this one’s still kind of empty...” he mused as he traced over the top section.

Jongin hummed, “Yeah, that one’s me.”

“You? Like-“

“Representation- people,” Jongin explained, “Jongdae, Tao and I thought it’d be a good idea at the time. We were all pretty pissed.” It was clear Jongin no longer thought it was a good idea.

Kyungsoo could tell what he’d meant by the parts being people. The one which he’d assumed was Zitao’s had a corner taken up by Chinese writing (something which Kyungsoo realized had probably been written by him), which a somewhat weird looking panda taking up a large portion. Kyungsoo laughed.

“The panda?”

“Jongdae drew it, Tao was so mad at him because apparently he got the eyes all wrong but I’m the one that it’s tattooed on.”

Kyungsoo looked to what he assumed was Jongdae’s.

“Jongdae is the best…”

Jongin laughed, and it was the first time he didn’t show anything that wasn’t hostility towards the man.“Yeah, he wrote that. It’s why you don’t let your-," Jongin paused,  "-Friends tattoo you.”

“Did those two just have a full on argument on your back?”

Jongin laughed even harder at Kyungsoo noticing what Tao had written underneath.

“Yeah, they did.”

Kyungsoo smiled, “You guys must have been really close…”

“Oh, we were,” Jongin said, slight sadness in his voice. “We were really the only family we had; except for Tao, of course. Tao had family, but…”

Kyungsoo cut him off, “I’m sorry, Jongin.”

Jongin turned his head towards Kyungsoo, “What for?”

The smaller ghost his fingers over his shoulder blades, “Everything that has ever happened to you.”

“ happens,” Jongin shrugged, trying to act non-chalant though it was certainly not that sort of situation. “I had it coming.”

Kyungsoo walked around so he was facing Jongin and wrapped his arms around his neck.“You still don’t deserve it.”

“There are a lot of things I have in this world that I don’t deserve.”

“Like what?”

Jongin looked down, eyes so full of love and affection that Kyungsoo swore it would literally hurt. “You.” he smiled softly, kissing the top of his boyfriend's head.

Kyungsoo buried his chest in Jongin’s bare shoulder, relishing in the feel of unadorned skin that he’d never felt with Jongin before.“The Chinese on the back of your neck... I’ve always wondered, what does it mean? I’m guessing- I’m guessing it’s for Tao.”

“Mankind fears an evil man, but heaven does not.”

“And you, Kim Jongin, tell me you’re not a man of symbolism.”

//Authors Note//

So theres some KaiSoo backstory for you ;)
All the flashbacks'll be in italics, okay?

The chapters get longer after this one, I promise! 

As always, comments are loved and appreciated, as well as subs and upvotes (you guys rock, weew!)
I'm hoping that as I post this you'll all give it a lot of love, so if you have any to give, please do :3

You know the drift yadda yadda feel free to contact me on here, Twitter, Tumblr blah blah blah blah you're so bored of it but lets be friends anyway?
Who even reads my authors notes? 

Okay okay, I'm done now I'm done now.

Stay cool, guys ;)