Jongin’s phone lit up as it shook. He made absolutely no move to pick it up, or get out of bed, for that matter. He glanced at the clock. Three AM. Who calls at three ing AM? Jongin looked down to Kyungsoo, head nestled into his chest as he breathed in and out and in and out, hands fisted lightly in his shirt. Nope, not moving. Finally his phone stopped, and Jongin sighed in relief, wrapping his arms back around Kyungsoo and pulling him closer. And then his phone went off again. Jongin sighed, reaching a hand over to grab it before immediately hanging up, not sparing a glance at the number. He was about to turn it off when it started vibrating once again, and he finally caught sight of the number. Eyes widening, he quickly pulled apart from Kyungsoo, walking out to the lounge room. He didn’t want to answer it, but it was a number he recognised all too well. “What the do you want?” Jongin hissed.

“Oh, long time no speak! K- Jongin, how are you?”

“I thought I told you to stay the away from me.”

“That is no way to treat your old pal.”

“ off, we’re not ‘pals’.”

The man on the other side of the line sighed, “Oh, you don’t change. What did I ever do to you?”

“What didn’t you do,” Jongin gritted through his teeth, “I told you I was done, I quit.”

“Oh Jongin, Jongin, Jongin, Jongin. This isn’t really something you quit all that easily.”

“Really? Because I ing did.”

He could see the fake pout on the other’s face. “Aww, I thought it was just a temper tantrum, you used to throw those a lot.”

“How the did you even get my number?”

The man on the other end laughed, the mocking sort. “I have my ways.”

“I quit, I ing quit. I’m not doing it anymore.”

“Come on, baby. Just one last favour and I’ll never call you again.”

“I owe you no more favours, not slitting your throat for what you did is enough.”

“I knew you were , but I didn’t know you were in to that. We used to have so much fun, Jongin. It’s been so long since I’ve had such a good as you.”

“ you.”

“Oh darling, not now. You gotta do something for me first.”

“I already told you, I’m done.”

“Oh come on, Jongin. Don’t be such a tight-… Not that I’d know because I was always the bottom but - come on. Liven up a little! Just one more kill, one more. Don’t you miss it?”

“Call me again and that one more kill will be you. Don’t push me.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t do that. Now, I’d love to stay and chat, but I’m a busy man. You’ve got three days to get back to me, you know my number.”

“And what if I don’t call?”

“You know more than anyone that I don’t have boundaries.”

“Give it up, Jongdae, you’re not going to hear from me. Get someone else to do your dirty work, you have enough of them.”

“Dirty work must be done by dirty boys, dear, and you, judging by what you said before, seem even kinkier than you used to be. I don’t think I have to tell you what happens if you tell anyone about this chat. Toodles, love!” Before Jongin could argue back, Jongdae had hung up.

He bent down, hands gripping his hair. “, , !”

“Jongin?”

Jongin looked up to see a very dazed and sleepy Kyungsoo bobbed down in front of him.

, did he hear anything?

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I- I woke up with a headache and came out to get something for it.”

Kyungsoo giggled a little, taking his hand. “I put some in your top drawer for that, you need to stop forgetting.”

Jongin smiled as best as he could, “Yeah, I do.”

The two stood up, and Kyungsoo kept his grip on his hand. “Come back to bed, Jongin-ah.” Something in Kyungsoo's voice suggested he didn't believe it was just a headache, but he'd long learnt there was an awful lot that could bother Jongin, and it'd come to him eventually. Jongin followed Kyungsoo’s pull, and soon found himself back in bed, the older pressing a light kiss to his forehead. “Mum always did it to me when I had a headache, to make me feel better.” he said sleepily, resting his head on Jongin’s chest once again, “Did it work for you?”

Jongin’s lips upturned slightly, sleepy Kyungsoo was the cutest Kyungsoo. “Yeah, it did. ‘Night, ‘Soo.”

“’Night, Jongin. I love you.”The younger kissed the top of his head, and was about to say it back when he realized that his boyfriend’s breathing had already evened out, and he’d already fallen asleep. Jongin didn’t follow until hours later.

Jongdae was right, he didn’t have boundaries, and Jongin didn’t know whether he knew about Kyungsoo or not but he couldn’t take that risk. Kyungsoo couldn’t know, and Jongdae couldn’t know about Kyungsoo. But when it was Jongdae, Jongin didn’t know what he did know.

...

Jongin had a reoccurring nightmare. Sometimes it’d start slowly, memory reminding him of what was to happen. Other times it’d happen all at once, the cries and the faces filling his conscious to the point where it felt like it’d explode. That never got him out of it though, and it always ended the same way it started- deathly silence and infinite regrets. Jongin always awoke with a start, body shooting upright in the bed, panting in a cold sweat.

Kyungsoo would always immediately get out of bed and run to the bathroom, bringing back a warm, damp towel and wiping down the other’s face. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he’d comfort him, running a hand through Jongin’s hair, pulling him forward into a hug and pressing a kiss to his head, and Jongin would cling to Kyungsoo, body shaking and occasionally, wetness streaming down his face. The two would sit there, sometimes for minutes and sometimes for hours.

Kyungsoo never fell asleep first.

Other times, Kyungsoo would wake up to Jongin’s voice, raw with sleep and desperate. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he’d whimper, then plead, before his fists were clenched white and he was begging and screaming, kicking the sheets. These were always the most difficult.

“It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Jongin would grip anything, the thought that it was someone else running through his mind and taking over his dreams.

“It’s just me, Jongin. It’s Kyungsoo. You’re okay.” he would say as he tried to lace their fingers together, a harder task than usual when Jongin wouldn’t stop moving. Kyungsoo would give it a light squeeze. “It’s okay, it was just a dream.”

Then Jongin would wake up, eyes wide as he took in Kyungsoo beside him, and then he’d break down once again, Kyungsoo holding him like he always did.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I’m so sorry,” he’d whisper, and Kyungsoo would know that they weren’t apologies to him, and all he could do was hold Jongin and tell him he’d always be there, that it was okay and he was okay and that it was going to be fine. These were the moments where Jongin was most vulnerable, but Kyungsoo was always there to protect him. These were the moments where Kyungsoo could see the regret and the pain swimming in his eyes; surrounding his conscious. The innocence that Jongin had missed coming to life much too far overdue and far too cold.

Kyungsoo wondered what it’d be like to deal with these all alone.

//Authors Note//

Chapter one is up! It's quite short but don't worry, they get longer ^^

I have nothing to say for once,.

Comments and feedback are much appreciated and much loved, so if you wanna,go go!

Stay cool, guys ;)